How much to spend on a wedding gift???

[red devil]

26 minutes, must be record...

[Keef]

I am shocked reading this. I have given ?50 to friends getting married, and thought myself very generous. I now see that I am a skinflint!

When we got married, we said we didn't want anything, but certain family members just wouldn't let it go, so we just asked for Argos vouchers (classy I know), most of which we still have over 2 years later.

Personally, I don't like wedding lists, and if I ever get one with an invite, I make a point of ignoring it, and either giving nothing, or just buying them a voucher.

Doing music for friend's weddings is a cheap way to give a gift, although you miss half the drinking time, so it has it's drawbacks!

[Keef]

PS. Sorry to come to this so late, I on;y read it today as Sean said it kicked off a bit.

[Sue]

Keef Wrote:

we just asked for Argos vouchers

> (classy I know), most of which we still have over

> 2 years later.

>

xxxxxxxx

I'll have 'em if you don't want 'em!

[Keef]

Nah, you're alright. :))

We'd better spend them soonish though, as they do expire after a certain time.

[giggirl]

I loathe weddings. There, I've said it. Sorry. I can't think of one that I've been to that has been fun. The more money spent / the more formal the wedding the less likely the chance of actually enjoying it. Interesting ratio, yes? Got nothing against marriage, but wonder why weddings need to be so stressful/tedious. If I ever get married I?ll probably have a party in the back garden. You can come.

The money I?ve spent on friends? weddings over the years, quickly followed by baby showers, housewarming gifts, Christening gifts, sprog birthday/Christmas gifts for the next 30 years, graduation gifts, on and on and on. I think Carrie Bradshaw had the right idea when she added up the cost of celebrating the life choices of her married friends and then announced that, to celebrate her single person choices and general fabulousness, she would be putting a gift list at Manolo Blahnik. What a splendid idea. I shall be following suit and sending all my married friends google maps to Old Church Street.

On the subject of shoes and weddings, if you are getting married please take the price sticker off your shoes before kneeling down. Thank you.

[daizie]

HaHa giggirl.. you MUST remember to invite me!

[Keef]

The more money spent / the more formal the wedding the less likely the chance of actually enjoying it.

Absolutely spot on!!!

[Bellenden Belle]

Keef Wrote:

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> The more money spent / the more formal the wedding

> the less likely the chance of actually enjoying

> it.

>

And the shorter the marriage...

[giggirl]

I think the most fun we have in life is when we are completely in the moment. Children are always in the moment - it's how we are naturally but as we grow up there's a tendency to lose our spontaneity. But when every tiny detail of a wedding is planned and every moment accounted for, there?s just no scope for being in the moment and doing that whole ?dance like nobody is watching thang?.

Wedding planning is big money and huge amounts are spent on everything from stationery to ribbons and bows. It?s all so unimportant. Just to clarify though - the dress is important. And the shoes.

[Keef]

And the shorter the marriage...

Well that's me & Mrs Keef done for then.

[Bellenden Belle]

Keef Wrote:

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> And the shorter the marriage...

>

> Well that's me & Mrs Keef done for then.

Hey I've seen the pics - looks like everyone had a ball at yours....

And naturally I speak just from my own experience.

[Keef]

Sorry BB, I got that the wrong way round. Was meaning we didn't spend much, but having reread your post, I think I totally missed your point.

[woofmarkthedog]

Oh please this stinks, the reason people get a wedding gift list together is to make life seem sooooo stress free, but for who exactly?

them, not you !

Well fcuk them or whoever for being so saucy, they ( the silly bloo*y cousin & co who you see once a year ) have invited YOU .

So go buy what you want for ever much you fancy spending. Sadly most people lack a grain of imagination and others can't be sh1td to make an effort , so yes a "John Lewis gift list" suits them fine, some people don't care but you do , don't you ?

For christ sake it's not either take heroin OR stay in and watch the Bill for ever, all your life,is it?

So with that in mind come this way, http://www.davidmellordesign.com/ourShops.php I take it you live within striking range of Sloane square ? Well many of the other guests may not, use this to your advantage

Buy one very neat, smart & different item (keep the receipt) take it to the reception yourself & think " Up yours " all the while

If they hate it they're plebs & you're best of out of it, but if they love it...well it will speak volumes

Harsh I know but it saves so much wasted effort later in life

Really it does....

W**F

[Sue]

giggirl Wrote:

-------------------------------------------------------

Children are always

> in the moment - it's how we are naturally but as

> we grow up there's a tendency to lose our

> spontaneity.

xxxxxx

That's because we have to have a bloody thick skin against those people who don't like us being spontaneous - eg employers :))

Luckily, the older I get, the less I care about them :)-D

[giggirl]

Don't let them get you down Sue. There's a lot to be said for being child-like. If you can go through life and retain at least a modicum of that quality then you'll be someone worth knowing. Not childISH though - that's something else entirely and is not flattering at all (even in children).

[BellendenBear]

*Bob* Wrote:

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> The 'wedding list' is a throwback to an age

> gone-by when couples were usually setting-up home

> together for the first time and actually 'needed'

> useful and practical stuff because they didn't

> have it and could afford to buy it all, especially

> after laying-on the wedding. It was a good thing

> to do.

> Now it's just an excuse for people to wander

> through a department store with a clipboard and

> pen, like Michael Jackson in Harrods, ticking

> things off, like spoilt children who've been given

> a blank cheque.

>

> Practical items do not include a bumper-edition

> Sopranos box set, a Satnav or a LCD television for

> the bedroom.

>

> It's totally impersonal and actually a wee bit

> depressing.

I whole heartedly agree with Bob. Reading these words warm my heart far more than any wedding ever has. Wedding lists, or Greedy Lists as I prefer to call them, are one of my pet hates. Unimaginative, offensive, materialistic.... I was beginning to think I was the only one who felt this way.

When I read the list I always have visions of a wedding-obsessed couple being lead around John Lewis by some orange faced greedy list expert pointing out all the things that you can't possible live without. 12 matching sundae glasses, a gazilion white towels, his and hers badminton rackets... Yuck.

And to go off thread slightly, you can now have a John Lewis list for any life event. A nursery list, a Christening list, a Retirement list, a 'Commitment' list. Ahhhhhhhhh.

[daizie]

The last wedding I went to, the couple asked for Thomas Cook vouchers towards their honeymoon. I was'nt quite sure what to make of it. I duly obliged but asked for a postcard .

[giggirl]

Please let's stop knocking John Lewis. J'adore JL. Without them I would have nothing to sleep on/between, nothing to eat on/with, no towels, no pots, no pans..... you get the picture. My whole house is from John Lewis. I paid for it all myself too. Who knew that I could have got away with putting the whole lot on a "Committment List" (WTF?) and palmed the bill off on someone else. That's the sort of money-saving gem you pick up on this forum. Martin Lewis, eat your heart out.

[katie1997]

I agree that the more lavish the wedding, the shorter the marriage ;-) I hate wedding lists but can see that others think differently....so if its their wedding and their friends then thats up to them. I hate the idea of dictating what my guests should buy or how much they should spend...I would just want them to be there to celebrate with me. Everone knows how costly hotels and new outfits are for the occasion. Its the thought that counts and if you know the couple well then I don't think it would be that difficult to buy them something nice, unique and special for around 50 bucks. 150 is like....very extravagant or it seems to me. Weddings should be enjoyable and not full of angst about spending enough on a gift. we do live in very materialistic times....guess it depends on who is doing the inviting and how well they know you..

[sazzle]

Glad to see I am on par with most people. We do ?50 if we are both invited to the whole thing so ?25 per person.

Evening do's I give less, but I tend not to bother going if I just get invited to the evening unless its local.

Is it just me or does anyone else feel a bit odd about attending if they only get invited to the evening do? It's a bit of a half invite, like some kind of inferior guest?

[Keef]

I used to think that, but not so much since I got married and realised how bloody difficult it is trying to limit numbers!

Besides, the day bit and the meal is fecking boring, the evening is when the drinking and dancing happens, much more fun! :)-D

[Brendan]

Remeber this...

http://www.thedailymash.co.uk/news/society/billy-joel-to-write-song-about-greedy-engaged-couples-201005192744/

[ClareC]

We have a 'evening' invite this weekend. I appreciate the cost of a wedding and need to keep numbers down, so am not offended by a half invite. I do find that evening do's are the fun bit when you know a few people going. When you only k ow the bride or groom and have an evening invite it's rubbish turning up and joining a group of trashed party goers who you haven't had the opportunity to meet ie being there all day.

What is the going rate for a gift when you have a half I invite or is it the same ;-)

[Jeremy]

Maybe something like ?20? I guess it depends how well you know them, and how rich you are.