Boiling water..

[woofmarkthedog]

How do you do it ?

I use a copper pan, take it to the tap, fill it up. I then empty a magazine of an AK-47 indiscriminately out the window & into the passing traffic

I then put the pan on the gas flame ( do I add salt ? ) to cook

When really thick and tasty I add the other vital ingredients, like steam & bubbles

W**F

[Narnia]

Try the Top Tips thread. There may be something in there.

[EDKiwi]

I find adding half a pound of Semtex really helps getting it to boil that little bit faster.

[woofmarkthedog]

Oh only half a pound ...?

Now I know where I went wrong

[EDKiwi]

Yeah, you might want to try it out in someone elses kitchen until you get the amount right....

[Townleygreen]

I use one of my stock of tactical nuclear weapons left over from the Cold War. They were a bargain on ebay a few years ago. My street's very quiet now, but it kind of glows a bit.

[EDKiwi]

You must save a fortune on lighting then.

[Brendan]

You can?t expect to get proper advice unless you let us know what altitude you want to boil this water at and whether you want to do it in Fahrenheit or Celsius.

[red devil]

Try putting the water in a kettle, but be careful, don't watch it as it will never boil...

[Narnia]

Skip the salt. If memory serves me correctly from my chemistry class a long time ago, the salt will slow down the process as things like molecules will hit it and thus slow them down. QED

[Peckhamgatecrasher]

No. Add the salt and put the lid on.

[Brendan]

Yes, always put the lid on the salt. Leaving the lid off the salt can lead to seasoning most calamitous.

[ianr]

I use my own version of Joule's apparatus http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mechanical_equivalent_of_heat using high gearing and a large crank. It's good aerobic exercise and very green.

[Brendan]

I know it?s lazy but I buy a lot of my boiling water. But only from dealers approved by the Global Institute of Thermodynamics of course.

[Narnia]

Is it Spring boiling water?

[Brendan]

Yes but locally sourced. Low carbon imprint and all that stuff.

[HAL9000]

Use a vacuum pump ? water boils at room temperature before freezing solid.

[HonaloochieB]

I had the same dilemma once and I solved it by seeking advice from a midwife.

I mean who better? There isn't a day goes when they're not calling for it.

Anyway large galvanised tub sufficient to cover every ring on the cooker, filled with tap water of course.

All rings turned up full blast until a 'rolling boil' is achieved and every cold surface in the house is beaded with condensation.

Le voila.

Mind once she got the water right she started tearing up my sheets, force of habit she reckoned.

I had to lose an Egyptian cotton fitted, but managed to placate her with an old Brentford Nylons valance until the moment passed.

[woofmarkthedog]

Oh this is sooooo much harder than I first thought

I have just thrown the third lot out, as I burnt it ( again )

OK THIS TIME I WILL SUCCEED ( Lid on & mid-wife on her way )

What with the X-FACTOR FINAL & "the ultimate boiling water recipe" this is a BIG, BIG night

Oooo my w**ly is tingling already....

W**F

[tommy]

for best results use your hand to check water is boiled

[woofmarkthedog]

tommy Wrote:

-------------------------------------------------------

> for best results use your hand to check water is

> boiled

-------------------------------------------------

Tommy

Your facetious comments on this a serious subject are reckless & dangerous in the extreme. I tried it & my hand has "puffed" right up

What you didn't clarify in your method was whether this "puffed up hand" meant the water was "done" or not, so I will have to test all over again using the other one

Please let me know, though I am preparing a foot as a back up

W**F

[Sue]

HonaloochieB Wrote:

-------------------------------------------------------

> managed to placate her with an old Brentford

> Nylons valance

xxxxxx

Oh the memories you have ignited :))

[HonaloochieB]

Sue Wrote:

-------------------------------------------------------

> HonaloochieB Wrote:

> --------------------------------------------------

> -----

> > managed to placate her with an old Brentford

> > Nylons valance

>

> xxxxxx

>

> Oh the memories you have ignited :))

I know, I can hear the 'Fluff' Freeman voiceover now. I'm tearing up.

[Bluerevolution]

Boiling water? by men? er thats's what wives are for surely?

*dons tin hat*