How to make a 'flexible work arrangement' work?

[sb]

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[Mellors]

I went back to work Monday, Wednesday, Friday as too was in a job where I couldn't leave it for four days on the trot (city law).

It didn't work at all - I ended up working all 5 days effectively (and some weekends), and none of us knew whether we were coming or going.

I offered my boss a four day week instead, but they didn't fancy it because of tight budgets, so no money to pay me for an extra day (and frankly they were getting it free anyway so had no incentive to change).

I then then offered 3 days over 4 (i.e. short hours on four days int he office), and also a possible job share. All were rejected.

I resigned, and I finish on 1st March.

Not the most cheery, but you do have my sympathy!

[Fuschia]

I do 36h spread across 2 long days in work, 1 day at home with childcare in place and a few hours on top winging it! It works because I do at least an hour a day checking my mail etc.

[mumum]

It is a difficult decision for you, and both ways have pros and cons. It is kind of a decision to be made with your partner while thinking what is best for yourself and your child, is he the one doing bedtime, or is it a carer? The people at your job sound quite supportive and keen to keep you.

I used to work 3 days a week for a short time and very quickly realized I had to be at work 4 days a week, and working at home didn?t really work, because nobody believed I was doing anything then. It is incredibly hard to do part time, because all schedules and everybody else is based on full time, and you have to constantly "prove" yourself against the full timers. However, in four days, you can get a lot done, and as you say, only miss one day at work. And your salary will make a lot more sense too. For me, leaving on time was the key issue. I would get in at 8 and leave at about 4.30, but even though I was a partner and in a boss role, I still found raised eyebrows crippling. I would be available online and on the phone on my day off and would often go in to oversee things, and work in the evenings at home.

I have now resigned and work freelance, because my job (and my husbands situation in theory) allowed me to. Not because of the workload, but because of the attitude at work (no other parents there) and I really missed my daughter. Also my husband works very long hours, and I felt I had to be there for my daughter when he couldn?t, so she had more time with her parents (and I?m the one doing all housework too). I took a long break and am now only working 3 shortish days, and it has been fantastic. I am much more relaxed as a Mom, because now my time with my child is not a precious treat where I have to both do all the laundry, do conference calls and make sure she loves me more than the nanny (what an insecure mom!), but kind of everyday. But can?t say I get much done anymore and now I?m broke! But I have gained a lot of confidence as a mom and next month I am stepping up to 4 days working again, but as before it needn?t be forever.

[The Nappy Lady]

Hi sb.....such a hard decision, but I think your rationale makes complete sense, as long as you can leave earlier pretty much every day as a result of going up to 4 days per week. I am assuming you don't have the option of a job share, with someone else picking up the 2 days, or even 2.5 days to give you a 'handover' overlap. This is luxury I know, but was a situation that occured once back in my days in the city.

I think 3 days at home being Mum and 4 days working is still a very good balance, and MUCH better if both your home and work life ends up being more relaxed as a result of the change.

Mellors - so sorry things didn't work out for you, but it sounds like you were doing all you could to make it happen, and I know from previous threads that City Law is not really suited to part time. Hope you enjoy your new role (are you going to be a SAHM, or will you be looking for a different part time role?)....I imagine you are counting down the days either way.........maybe see you loitering in the park some time in the spring!!

Molly

[Mellors]

My new business venture is brewing Molly.....working from home. I'll defo be in touch as I have ideas I'd like to bounce off you (and see you in the park). Its a bit of a relief actually. I have little in common these days with people who have no kids and think life is all about working 20 hours a day in the office!

[womanofdulwich]

i have done mon, wed and thurs for a long time. but i divert workphone to my mobile and check e mails on my palm every 3 hours on my day off. If i don't get the job someone else will and i find that if you are not there your colleagues give you the duff jobs. i think it all depends on what job you have. and what kind of clients you have.when my clients were housing associations they were very accepting of a day off being a day off. i think a lot of them worked part time. private clietns don't see it that way.

[NunheadGirl]

Brewing Mellors??!!!! Sounds perfect, see you for a pint of snakebite!

Seriously though, happy to help any way I can.

Molly

[sb]

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[littleEDfamily]

Oh it's so hard. I tried many permutations and combinations, and I couldn't get it to work for me (despite having a flexible employer). Making it work, I think to some extent, comes down to your psychological state - I was always anxious about what I wasn't doing, what people thought of me being part-time, not being able to put my blackberry down for 5 minutes on my days off etc etc. I am a bit control-freakish too, and that just doesn't go with having a FWA, as there is some stuff you just have to let go off.

The women I have seen make it work are those who are disciplined at setting boundaries between work and home and don't care what others think. They also seem to resign themselves to not getting promoted or putting any pressure on themselves to advance career-wise, at least in the short-term. (It's quite depressing to write that).

It will take a while to adapt to the juggling of childcare, running the house, commuting and general life organisation, but I think it's also so important to try and prepare yourself for the mental impact of work just not being the experience it was pre-kids. I wish I had set myself some boundaries before I went back to work and stuck to them, rather than trying to have it all and killing myself in the process.

For the record, if you can afford it, I would go with 3 days, but there may have to be some redefinition of your role. I think 4 days is virtually 'full-time', whereas a 3 day week gives the sense of so much more time with the little one, but is much more limiting in terms of what you can realistically achieve.

[alieh]

Hi sb. I had the choice of doing 3 or 4 days, and I chose 4 for the same reasons you describe. Though I am lucky and can do my 4th day from home, so I start early (husband does the childminder drop off) and then pick him up after his lunchtime nap (2:30 or 3:00 ish) so he is really doing 3.5 days at the childminder rather than a full 4.

I actually have Wed as my non-working day, to avoid that long stretch out of the office. So I work in the office Mon, Tues, Thurs and from home on Friday.

I figured that I would end up working the equivalent of 4 days, even if I officially was only working 3, so I may as well get paid for 4 days!

[ratty]

i too have wednesday as my non working day, yes dads do this too. It really is the best way to ensure nothing gets missed. Totally agree that email checking is essential.

[Ondine]

My kids are older now but I went through exactly the same thing - 3 days was really stressful and I was a lot happier once I moved to 4. Now they are both in school I work 4 days spread over 5, which means I leave the office in time for school pick up 4 days a week. It makes life a bit complicated as my afternoons at work feel really short but my employer is very supportive of work/life balance and we have good remote access so it's no problem to check back in later.