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My giant boy was having nightly near death experiences diving out of his cot bed at two so we had to switch to single bed with rails. He's a very busy sleeper. I feel like we had no choice either way but the transition turned my good sleeper into a nightmare. Even more horrible for me because he had been a terrible sleeper as a baby and I worked very hard to turn him into a good sleeper! Back to square one! We had a gate on his door because he would get up oh I don't know about a THOUSAND times at night and we had three flights of stairs for him to tumble down in the dark, but you never get over the first time you go check on them and find a tiny person sleeping beside the gate with their little arm sticking through it! If you have a persistent child like mine you get desensitized to the cold things you end up doing out of survival, I'm afraid. It was about a year of bed issues. No joke. If you can keep them in a grow bag, behind bars, for the love of God do it.

I've just returned to the classroom after four years out, and I am shocked SHOCKED at how much time I spend now arguing with teenage girls over phones. It's the texting, I guess just a modern version of the note writing we did back in the 80's. I remember finding clever ways to fold them and have them delivered without getting caught, so I suppose nothing has changed really. Although my parents would never have bought me an iphone at 15! I can't really think of a boy version of this. A punch in the arm in the hallway?

I think it's interesting that there's even a debate here. Either you have experienced similar situations or you haven't, it's not personal, and that's the difference between my original "embarrassing" post and the direction some have gone with it. I'm not at all embbarrassed by it; it was a moment, I needed to get it off my chest, and I was pretty sure someone else might understand what I was feeling and sure enough, plenty did. We are telling silly stories about ourselves, not judging others. We are laughing at ourselves, and life, and I don't think there's anything new about that. There's a reason why "Outnumbered" is popular. I have never met a single couple who at some time or another didn't have a complaint, even if it's just the toilet seat, and I honestly don't see why a few people are taking offence. My husband could read this thread and find the humour because it's just a few bits and pieces of our life. Anyway, it has gotten ugly and personal for some reason and that was not at all the intention. I don't know why that has to happen. I think if the people posting on here were exposed you would find a lot of professional, modern, independent thinkers who are adapting to a new and very different kind of life, and we're doing it blindfolded, with small children's toys scattered under our bare feet. But we're muddling through and learning and finding joy in the strangest of places and you know what? If a little bit of a "vent" or whatever you want to call it is the worst thing I can come up with to lighten a bit of the load and it makes me a target, fine. A few schoolyard insults are not going to ruin my day. I didn't sleep for an entire year when my son came along. I survived it and lived to tell......... toughens you up, this motherhood thing. The women on this forum are lovely, and I'll bet your husbands are too.

berryberry Wrote: ------------------------------------------------------- > its fine, take the piss all you want - I got love > and diamonds to keep me warm. edited to remove my response. This speaks for itself, I think.

Charlottep I think you are right to start them on these things young. If they just understand, no questions, that they have to be a helpful member of the household, respect our home, and tidy up after themselves (even at 2) then hopefully it's just part of life. They do this at pre-school too. My husband isn't a bad guy, far from it, but his mother did everything for him. His brother is much worse. They simply were not taught to lift a finger. It doesn't come naturally at all and you know, old dogs new tricks and all that. He is incredibly smart, but in that absent minded professor kind of way and sometimes it feels a bit like living with Iris Murdoch in the later years.::o I mentioned in a previous thread that I had addressed and stamped all of his Christmas cards and they just needed him to write a message (they were for his friends). Last night he was finishing them (yes, I know, on the 22 but that's actually progress so well done him!) when he came looking for me to see if we had any more envelopes. Erm, why? Because somehow he had managed to put some of the cards in the wrong envelopes. "It was all done for you! All you had to do was sign the bloody cards!" I think were my exact words. You really have to laugh!

I'm listening.:))

Class. Act.

The hot mist humidifier works wonders. We're doing that right now too. Hard to find there, but I think Boots online or Chemist Direct carry them. Amazon too. Also, right before bed I've been running hot water in the bathroom to get it good and steamy before Junior's bath, then adding some Albas (?) drops to the bath. Really seems to loosen things up. Boots has a nice honey/lemon/glycerine thingy that helps a bit, but I also just recently found (in Canada but you never know) a kid's homeopathic honey/blackberry version that my son kind of accepts. We also "hose the nose" to get as much gunk out as possible. If you do it in the bath you can make a bit of a game out of it. The spray saline works much easier than the squirt kind, because you don't have to get them to tilt their head back. My son actually kind of likes the squirt up the nose game now! As mentioned, tilting the head up while they sleep makes a big difference as well. The cough is awful and there's so little you can do about it. Hope it helps!

Polly, feels good to get that off your chest, doesn't it? Now come join us in the shed. Moos got cigs, sillywoman has vodka, and Ruth is going to keep an eye on the door for us ;-) Bb, I think it's interesting that you mention banality............ please don't let us bore you any longer.

I'm off to that shed........ who's coming with me?

I think that the "I like biscuits" badges idea is just about the greatest thing I've ever heard of. In fact just the other night I went into rather great detail to my Canadian friends about how much I love the people of ED. The mums are absolutely lovely, friendly and inclusive. But I fell in love with everyone; from the people at the local news agents to the regulars who walked past my house and stopped to say hello. It just isn't like that anywhere else. I definitely left part of myself there when I left:( Edited to add: Just writing that made my eyes well up. See what I mean?

Well since I've been pointing out all my own stains the whole time, not sure what you have added to my exposure. And uh, it's Mrs. Handbasket, thanks.

Brilliant! More gin and Marlboro's, less dishes! It's so obvious!;-)

Molly I think most posts were in the spirit of my original. It's nice to vent once in a while, strangers or not. Probably a step up from my usual audience, which would be the furniture. A healthy giggle is tonic on a blah winter day trapped at home. Thanks for contributing to the fun! Every family has an evolved dynamic, and couples with young children haven't had the years to work out the kinks. I know a lucky few who have had a smooth transition into parenthood, and hey I'm happy for them, but we did not. What can I say? Spice of life and all that. Bb, maybe this isn't the thread for you then? The heading dose say "share if you relate" I think.

RB you are so funny!

BB, are you kidding me? "We're grown ups living in a grown up world". Wow, I had never thought of trying to sit hubby down like an adult and explain the issue to him. Thanks for that advice. I'll bet all the weary moms on here will be really relieved to learn that the solution is that simple. Unless......... your husband really is that out to lunch and no amount of negotiation changes things. You know, there really are people out there who have two choices: like it or lump it. Or leave I guess, not my choice but I certainly understand why someone might have that day where they just realize that nothing will change and they can't live like that. Being taken for granted is a real romance killer. Pretty easy to judge if it's not a problem for you.

All true. Fuschia I nearly wept at the idea of sleeping until 9:30. The last time I think was in 2005? But I know newborns are crazy hard. CitizenEd you are so right. I think when you are considering marriage, the best thing to do is go with him to his mum's for the day. You will learn everything you need to know. For me, the warning signs were there....... every single hour his mom would roll in the tray of tea and biscuits, then roll it back out to tidy. My god, he grew up with an adoring slave! It wasn't even subtle. But of course love is blind........ In an interesting twist, my husband's appalling snoring has now started to resemble a small child crying "mommy mommy". I wish I were kidding. Last night, between hubby going to bed at 1:00 (and waking me) and junior waking at 6:30, I must have mistook those snores for cries about three times. Off I went to comfort the boy, only to discover him fast asleep. The descent into madness is a slow but steady one............ I am now certain they are trying to kill me!

Ha, well that is exactly why we never got past one, to be honest.

Thanks Keef, knew you would understand. I just know you would never take your wife for granted. BTW, have you given us the finger?::o I know a bunch of women complaining about husbands makes for boring reading. But honestly, some days my husband's capacity for testing the limits of my goodwill is shocking. He could complain about me too, I'm sure there's plenty to complain about, but then who would drive him to the train, make his supper etc.? Right now I am addressing HIS Christmas cards to get the process moving along. And I work too! The other day I realized that I will never come home to a meal on the table, fresh sheets, or a clean bathroom and that made me sad. Probably what brought on the rant. I think men (not all) need to understood how heavy the burden of details is, and that we are not machines (even machines break down!). I think Christmas makes it harder because the list gets longer, but the days don't. I know mine is not an isolated case of "I'vehadititis"! Anyway, rant over. Hope you all have a great Christmas and manage to take some time for yourselves! You too Keef! Fuschia, apologies to your husband then........ sounds like he's actually quite hands on. Lucky!

Oh what a relief. I was starting to think everyone else has a husband who was more into the "nitty gritty" as someone put it. Not my husband's strong point. He IS fantastic with the boy though, no doubt about it. I think the part that makes me so crazy is the assumption that the "bread winner" has a tougher lot so deserves a bit of slack, which is hilarious because he has a much easier day now than I ever did when working full time, before we were parents. Anyway, I'll bite my tongue before I get on a roll and start bitching about domestic drudgery and loss of self and other boring stuff and sounding shrill. It's like chocolates, once you start........ It's good to get a bit of it out though. It's that or drink! Tomorrow is supposed to be my sleep in. I'm not holding my breath. BTW, congratulations Fuschia on the new baby! What a lovely Christmas present. If I read your post right, are you saying Mr. F finally came around to helping at night on the fourth baby? :)

Soooooooooo, My husband has been in bed all day with the flu. I get that he's ill, but it's been a long few weeks with work, illness etc. and I'm on empty as it is. He's been watching cricket, drinking hot beverages, eating toast etc. and it all looks pretty cozy from here. Two weeks ago I had it at the same time as our son; not only did I NOT get the day in bed, I was also on ill child duty all night as well. Very grim. ANYWAY, around 4:00 this afternoon, while in the kitchen slamming drawers and banging cupboard doors shut in my increasing rage, I had a thought: My husband has officially had more time in bed today nursing the flu than I had in post c-section recovery! Which then triggered another memory: our first day home (after our first night which I did on my own), me now about 65 hours post surgery, and the health nurse who came by asked where my husband was. I was too kicked in the head at the moment to consider the irony when I told her he was upstairs having a nap because he wasn't feeling great. No advice is needed, just needed to vent, but some of you can thank your husband tonight if he is a bit more, uh, thoughtful. And if yours is as bad as mine, well at least you know that you're not alone. :) P.S. My husband is smart and funny. But some days I would trade dumb and boring for a day in bed!

The British Museum has a really cool looking exhibit on the Ancient Egyptians - Book of the Dead. The teacher resources are for Key Stage 2 so age appropriate. I think under 16 are free? But then I would go there any day, any time.

I've always really loved handmade cards. They're easy to keep (I've kept every one in a special scrapbook, some with the student's photo, which they love to give). But I know that puts pressure on parents. Aside from that, a gift card from a book shop would be at the top of my list. Teachers buy an incredible amount of books, with their own money. A gift card let me chose a book "just for me" instead of always looking for the kids. It's not unlike being a mom, really. Amazon would be good as well. A gift card from a coffee shop is always nice too. Teachers don't make a load of money, and a little splurge on a pricey coffee and piece of cake is a nice treat. At ?5 a bit of a bargain I think. But in all honestly I think most are thrilled to be thought of at all. BTW, the teachers of older kids get really left out and you would be surprised how much one little gift can make their day.

Aw shucks...... Well I have a sneaking suspicion that once these little critters are all in school it won't make any difference how we parented that first year anyway. It all comes out in the wash, I think. We're all just doing the best we can. Cheers!:)-D Keef Wrote: ------------------------------------------------------- > Sorry, my phone is misbehaving, so that got half > posted. > > And Helena, you're pretty much my favourite poster > in the family room, and 95 times out of 100, I > totally agree with what you say. And even for the > other 5, you still put your arguments across in a > very sensible way, without getting over passionate > ;-)

Fair enough. Did you catch my post previous to that? It's a bit less "Keef, why I'm shocked!".