helena handbasket

Oops! I am all for family participation in Valentine's rituals! My grandparents and I have sent valentines to each other in the post my entire life, and as I'm pushing 40 and still have two grandparents alive I think that's a lovely achievement. My son and I just posted his to various family members the other day. In Canada it was quite common in primary school to make a fuss about it. We made our own little mail boxes and taped them to our desks, and on Valentine's day we delivered our valentines to our little classmates. Then we would have pink cupcakes and pink juice and sift through our "post" and it was a really happy day. How often does anyone get 25 notes of affection in one day? When I first moved here I was quite sad to realize you can't buy boxes of children's valentines here. And all the cards are a bit, um, dirty. Hard to find one for the grandparents! I'm not too worried about the origins......I don't think Christmas really resembles what it originally looked like either but we still buy into the basic concept. I was planning on making valentine's cookies for my son to take to pre-school but now I'm not sure. Is that just too "crazy" for here?

daizie Wrote: ------------------------------------------------------- > How ridiculous . Isn't Valentines day about > recieving a card from an unknown admirer ? Ive > heard it all now . Small children giving their daddy a token of love is ridiculous? Now I've heard it all.

Oh the LG was my "splurge" option, but declined for the time being. The steam function is brilliant, but also it is designed to not have a drive belt or something mechanical like that, which I was told means it's much less likely to break down. My silly husband actually was convinced by the engineering details (men!) but in the end I couldn't justify it in my head. But one day it will be mine! Red please!

Oops SP you posted as I was writing! Yes you are right, that is something I found to. But my City Mini hasn't been much better so I'm not sure what you can do. We have a Maclaren to keep in the car and I suppose it's a bit better but not at all as functional, so....... Somebody someday will design the perfect buggy! Too late for me though.........

I started out with the Pliko and found it to be really fantastic value. My son has been 99 th percentile in size his entire life and at three years old he still comfortably fits in it. When we moved to London I admit I thought it was a bit clunky so bought a City Mini, which was great but he is now to big for it so we are back to the Pliko! It's not sexy, that's for sure, but really functional. It folds really easily and has a fantastic basket underneath that fits an amazing amount of shopping. When folded it can stand upright and isn't that hard to store, but will not easily fit in small car boots I don't think. It's a bit heavy but I find them all to be cumbersome in their own ways....... this one no more than others I have tried. I would absolutely buy it again.

No idea about the British Gas stuff......... However, I love my washing machine. It's a Candy Grand, AAA 9kg.! capacity (hello less washing, only two loads a week!) with a quick 32 degree wash. I'm the first to admit that complaining about the state of laundry appliances in this country is what makes Canadians boring (yes that's what we talk about when we get together..... sad!) but I do LOVE this machine.

I really like the Bibi cup, and they can use it for years. Think I'll get one myself. And love that it's BPA free. Does it leak much if full of water and in your kid gear bag?

I'm certain I recently saw an old episode in ED, I think it was a celebrity version? Had no idea who the woman was, a middle age blonde with a teenage daughter. When she went shopping "locally" for ingredients and was then shown at the Harrod's food hall my husband and I snickered. We were SURE it was ED that she lived in.

I weaned my son off the bottle at around 14 months (it was that or the dummy, something had to go!) and as some have mentioned, he looked at me and threw the sippy cup at the floor. But after a few days he got over it. I just decided that I didn't want to have to break every habit when he was two (and now that I know what kind of two year old he was I'm glad I did!) I replaced his night bottle with a "very special bedtime only" sippy cup (beaker I guess?) that I bought special for the occasion, think it had a turtle in it which you could only see as the milk got lower. Somehow that he went along with that. He still loves his milk, but he's not fussy about what it's in.

My heart is sinking....... is that lovely old man not who he says he is? He was part of the magic of London for me. As my three year old son would say, oh bother. But I'm so very curious about the real story.........

Wow, good to know. Thanks for the info........ I guess we got off easy.

Good point LEdF....... not to mention the fact that there are plenty of mothers out there that most of us wouldn't take advice from. We wouldn't need social services otherwise. Remember the woman who pretended her kid had been kidnapped to collect the ransom?

Just out of curiosity....... how are people supposed to move houses here? Our movers got a ticket for being double parked, fair enough, but it would be impossible to arrange for enough empty parking spaces in front of our house to fit the moving van. Didn't appeal it but am wondering what else could have been done? It was not a busy road easy to get in and out of even with the road blocked so couldn't have been a huge inconvenience for the neighbors. Not sure what the alternative would have been?

I worked very hard to get my son on a schedule without all the crying that keeps getting mentioned. In fact he cried far less in the process than he would have otherwise, poor little thing was always so overtired. He actually seemed relieved. Some babies really do struggle to get to sleep, they don't all just drift off comfortably. Before the routine he would only fall asleep in the buggy if he dropped from exhaustion, and I don't think that's fair. He DID actually need a quiet dark room to settle because he was always so alert that he would become over-stimulated. No wonder his naps were so brief and inconsistent...... he was in the living room/buggy/car. Not exactly places I would find restful, why would he? I really didn't clue into that for a long time. He was a bit older when I finally broke down from desperation and went the schedule route, but I wish I had done it when he was much younger as I know it would have been better for him. Once I got him used to sleeping in his cot (a long and tedious but actually quite peaceful and nice process actually), he happily snuggled up and his naps became the long and luxurious kind I wish I could have. Oh and he mysteriously began to sleep 12 hrs a night. Hmmmm. No response to jojobaby. Pointless. My 10 lb baby didn't get the memo, and certainly didn't "settle into sleep" at six months.

KatsyQueen what a great post! I couldn't agree more.

littleEDfamily Wrote: ------------------------------------------------------- > To snowboader: I just wanted to say that I think a > lot of us who talk retrospectively about what > worked for us possibly give a more positive spin > on it that we would really have felt was the case > as the time - not necessarily on purpose either. > > It seems to be a wonderful quirk of parenthood > that you have selective memory of the past > (tending only to remember the better stuff), so > take heart from that! I'm actually really glad I managed to somehow record hours and hours of video of the first year, because when I watch them now I am RELIEVED to see a jolly bouncy baby and a pleasant happy mommy........ sadly that's not how I remember it. Good to know it wasn't as miserable as I seem to remember. And being around moms who were doing well/had easy babies was excruciating! Always thought there should be a support group for moms with babies that have, shall we say, strong personalities?

Are you real? You seem to be contradicting a lot of your original post, as I mentioned earlier, but more importantly you can't decide how many kids you have! First it was three, now it's five........... edited to say this is for jojobaby again

jojobaby clearly you do not know the topic as we are not talking about YOUR personal parenting style. Everything you say tells me that you have some fictional narrative running through your mind about what parents with routines are actually doing. Never, ever in my mind did it occur to me to wake a sleeping baby. Didn't have to, he woke up every hour all by himself! I'm sure that was healthy. As a teacher, however, I'll bet I can point out which children have parents who allow them to stay up until midnight if that's what they feel like. My mother's advice? Well....... I had no routine, a lot of flexibility and that is precisely WHY I have decided it is important. I had no structure and dragged myself through school...... funny how real life doesn't work great for children (like myself) who had mothers that didn't "buy into" the value of structure and routine. Wasn't in fashion in the 70's. And now that she's seen how positive it has been for my son she is hugely supportive. And we travel a lot. And well. R&A I would love to join your bookclub

randomv, don't fret! I don't think you've been a nutter at all, and am not sure where this is coming from. Actually read your posts and nodded in agreement ......... I know what you are trying to say. Having read followed this topic in the Times and the Guardian, as well as assorted other media, I'm astounded by the creative liberties being taken by the writers and their "fact" checkers. As far as I can tell most of them have only gone so far as to use Wikepedia and a few neighbors/moms at the library as their sources. I too am frustrated by the generalizations and bizarre allegations, and I hadn't even heard of Gina Ford until my son was a toddler. jojobaby again I don't know where you get your 'facts" from but this isn't just a British thing...... and in response to your question about what to do with the rest of the family once a newborn comes along, then it really does go to show how much you don't understand about this particular topic. There is plenty of room for special occasions........ the fact that junior is in bed at a set time (and not necessarily 7:00 btw) means that he gets tired at that time and can be relied upon to nod off in the buggy or somewhere. And frankly, the only people I know who don't think babies should be in bed sleeping and not up with parents are those who can't be tied down by a baby and want the option of doing things when they want. Which is in total contradiction to your original post which states your fury about moms not being willing to sacrifice their needs for the brief baby period. You have strong convictions but I'm not sure what about........... But this should all be useful for the piece this thread was meant for.

Snowboarder, I know I've said this before but I was exactly where you are, and yes a huge part of it is your baby's personality. I was sure I had tried everything, certain he was just beyond help. At some point I just decided that I was so desperate that I would really really give it everything I had follow the routine exactly as described (although as you know I did Baby Whisperer not Gina Ford). Please don't think I'm giving you a hard time or saying you're not trying hard enough because I am on your side, I know what you are going through, but these more stubborn little guys need so much repetition that you think you will lose your mind. And then, eventually, even though you are sure it won't work, it does. My son is STILL as difficult as ever, don't want to scare you, but having these skills make some things a bit easier. Honestly, i thought it would get easier but now it's battles over food/clothes/brushing teeth/ going potty etc etc he will fight to the death for every little thing and there doesn't appear to be an end in sight. Plenty of days I just feel like it must be me....... but if I really stick with a program (and many are similar, doesn't really matter which one) that is when I get results. Or at least a cease-fire for a bit. He is now three and in pre-school, I was so scared of sending such a "spirited" child there, but he actually is doing alright. I suspect it is because they are firm with him (they only get him for three hours so have the strength to keep up with him) but also there are schedules and routines and rules and kids like him thrive on that. He does push his luck there, but it doesn't get him far whereas at home he wears me down hour after hour so by four o'clock he can do whatever he wants basically as by then I've lost the will to keep going. He gives the greatest hugs and kisses in the whole world though so we'll be alright.

randomv Wrote: ------------------------------------------------------- > sillywoman Wrote: > -------------------------------------------------- > ----- > > randomv Wrote: > > > -------------------------------------------------- > > > ----- > > > As it happens, CLB babies often cry less > becuase > > they > > > are fed before they are hungry and the > routines > > > don't lead them to get overtired... > > > > Hmmm, where does this claim come from & is > there > > research to back it up? > > > > Sillwoman - 100% anecdotal evidence from myself > and a number of other mums who've followed the > CLB. Not entirely scientific but certainly more > accurate than some of the claims I've read on here > tonight..;-) I absolutely agree with this. Getting my son on a good eating/sleeping routine (a bit late, around ten months) changed everything in our family. We had a very grumpy baby for all those months, and when he finally had a schedule he completely changed into a baby who was rested and happy (or maybe because mommy was also rested and happy......?)

I don't know if the Gap still does a maternity line (it's been a while since I needed it) but I found all of my best basics there. They were well designed so entirely wearable for the six months post baby (yes, sad but true). I still wear a couple of the tops, you would never know that they were maternity.

jojobaby, why so harsh? Are you hearing these stories? These are intelligent, loving people who are doing the best they can for their babies. I'm glad that you have so much "proof based" support and confidence in yourself that you never need ANY help with parenting, but honestly your judgmental and aggressive approach (to your friends even!) is more harsh than anything Gina Ford could come up with in her wildest dreams. You can keep your advice, thanks. I'll stick with my books. They are far more understanding.

We need a laugh.......For babies to hear when parents cry........

Have you read any of the previous posts? How does controlled crying even keep creeping into the conversation? Do you honestly believe that all of these parents are casually hanging out in the living room while baby cries for three hours? I think you believe what you want to believe, when the fact is that most parents are not letting cry and certainly do not deprive their babies of human contact. Ridiculous. Where on earth are you getting information to make such statements? edited to say my comment was for jojobaby