Ruth_Baldock

I'm a bit surprised that no-one has mentioned the good old witching hour? Could be colic, or it could be WH? My son was the same- a nightmare from 6pm-9pm, and he did eventually grow out of it. You have my sympathies, it was a very trying and tiring time.

When I did my GCSE Maths the first time (10 years ago, took 3 years of re-taking until I finally got a passing grade) my Mum was just honest with me; 'You need to do this because it's on the exam. It's crap, sorry'. Her and I thought of GCSEs as a stepping stone to get you to the next level. If I was able to get A's in a subject, then great. If I was able to get a C, great too- it didn't actually matter at the end of the day as long as I got 5A-C grades to get through to Sixth Form.

Queenie, I am assuming you are referring to me. When the 'hitting incident' occurred, my son was still crawling, and still tiny (in my eyes.) To see him crying his eyes out (real tears, unusual for him) in confusion and PAIN (he kept grabbing his head where he'd been smacked) was TOTALLY enough to send me over the edge. I feel physically sick when I think of anyone, whether they're 2 or 6 or whatever hurting him on purpose, and yes I did cry. I don't feel I need to 'get a grip'. However, whenever he is involved with a bit of 'normal' playground rough and tumble, and he cries, I don't get as upset as I did on that occasion- he normally calms down really quickly. The fact that he didn't the time I wrote about was a big sign that he was genuinely really upset.

trinity Wrote: ------------------------------------------------------- > > My limit was reached when one night I was cooking > dinner, breastfeeding baby, supervising bath time, > helping with homework and overseeing music > practice - all at the same time. This is why I keep telling my husband NO MORE than 2. At least when homework comes around, they'll both be nice, school-aged children and I won't have any babies to see to. Hopefully.

Granny can help, in theory, but finances are slightly dire at the moment, hence Husband freelancing, probably whilst I'm in labour (Joke! I bloody well hope, anyway) so a cleaner is sliiightly out of the question. Cheeky S enjoys a good dust/hoover (pointed out the missed 'bits' to me yesterday, the cheek!) so I can get a bit done with him helping and baby in the sling. I am sure I am working myself up for no real reason; keep telling myself it won't be anywhere as bad as when S was born, and at least I'll have a little 19mo friend for company in the day ;)

Soultion? Buy a super-king sized bed. We did ('for all the children!' said Husband. He thinks we'll have 4 or 5. HA HA HA HA HA. HA. No)

I have no idea how you do it with 4, F! I often struggle with one (and bump). You must have excellent managment skills ;) Would love to get together for insane toddler/babby playdates when this new one eventually rocks up (I quote Snowboarder, who said '6 months is long enough for a pregnancy, thanks')

Otta, Can you reason with Ott-ette? We can JUST ABOUT reason with Cheeky S, and luckily he's going through a 'helpful' stage (likes fetching/putting things in the bin, helping to clear up etc) so I hope it continues until Unborn One arrives... Summer Mum- It did help, ta! Will have to show this to my husband; I envisage many, many passive-agressive comments about the house being a total tip. Him, not me. I don't do p-a, I just screech and cry and go a bit banshee-like.

...thought as much. For me, or the children????

I've been thinking; how do all of you with two close in age get anything done? 1) How will I get the supper/bath/bedtime routine done with my eldest (who'll be 18/19 months when Unborn One arrives) with a Newborn? Am likely to be doing it on my todd from the offset, as I am not sure if my husband can take paternity leave (long story. Actually, not long story, he's a freelancer). 2) Will the baby's crying wake up my eldest at night? 3) How will I breastfeed a newborn with a cheeky toddler running riot? Husband has totally and utterly baby-proofed Cheeky S' room, so that I can take both infants upstairs, Seb can play etc and I can sit in the glider feeding newborn. This is likely to work about 5% of the time. 4) Lack of sleep? How does one do it without fainting in the day? Cheeky Toddler gets bored if we do 'quiet' activities for too long. I nap with him at the moment, we co-sleep for his 2 hr nap in the day, and he'll only settle with me lying down in my bed with him. This works fab at the moment, but I am wondering if I should 'train' him into napping in his cot in the daytime now to save on any hair-pulling out moments later on. He is ab fab in his cot at night, giggles and goes 'Mmmmmm!' when he see's it post-bathtime. 5) Cheeky S due his second MMR jab right around when I'll have a teeny newborn. Is it okay for his Grandma to take him to the clinic? She'd have his red-book, but do I need to notify them/send a letter saying 'I am his Mum, it's okay, I give my permission?' The thought of having to hold him down (as I did yesterday, ack) and also deal with possible screeching newborn at the same time is too much and not fair on Seb, I think. 6) Am I likely to ever sleep again/wear a nice pair of non-baby stained jeans/eat a meal without being interrupted ever again? I am planning to baby-wear lots, just out of practicality really, and I also realise that one of them will have to wail for a few minutes whilst I sort out the other one, but is there a secret to it all????

It sounds like you're doing exactly the right thing for you and your teeeeeny tiiiny babby. We didn't have a 'proper' routine until Cheeky S was...9 months? Apart from his mealtimes and bath routine, really. He napped whenever he liked, for as long as he liked. Baby Whisperer made me laugh (and cry) so I didn't listen, and followed my instincts and his cues. Like you, I clusterfed all night and his 'last feed' certainly wasn't a 10pm feed, or whatever, it was between 8.45pm and 11.15pm. So don't worry!

This is the point I always make, especially when being told 'I have been at work all day too, so I am also tired'. It's not about being tired, it's about being vunerable. Also, 171 goes around Kingsway/Aldwych at about 50mph. I don't call it the death bus for nothing.

Totally agree, Buggie. When I am noticed, people normally fall over themselves to offer help/seat. I usually reply 'Yes, take the toddler home with you, send him back in a few days...oh. You meant help with the pram? Thanks.' I am hilarious, obviously. I only normally get really angry when people obviously see me and avoid eye-contact/pretend to be asleep. RUDE. Also, this one time (er last week...) someone pushed past me on the 171 to get to the priority seat. Bus driver had a go, if I remember 'Oi, son! That's not YOUR SEAT'. God, I sound so OLD. But necessary, huge bump is huge afterall.

Yes, yes I think I will. Especially to those who see me getting on the tube at tooting, and then PRETEND TO BE ASLEEP. I see you there, you buggers!

AH little house, makes me thankful for so much. A midwife later said 'Yes, your baby was fine whilst you were barely alive, but if you'd have died (which I probably would have done if it hadn't been for all the intervention) then Baby would have been up sh*t creek'. Eloqeuntly put, and totally correct!

So, you're 24wks pregnant. Standing up on a moving train/bus makes you feel faint/be sick. Do you loudly ask for a seat, or sway around going green so as not to p*** anyone off or appear pushy? (Bonus points if you have a buggy and baby in tow, possibly tantruming whilst people tut loudly at you)

Kes, same with me. My section was entirely down to 'maternal distress' (er, maternal passing out due to low BP, more like) whereas Cheeky S was absolutely hunky dory during the whole thing.

Oh my GOD, best news EVER! I am ridicolously happy and actually just emailed Husband to tell him we had 'reason to celebrate'. Am a huge saddo, clearly.

Oh my GOD, I forgot about this. Buggeration. Damned if I am getting up at 4.30am with Cheeky S until it gets dark again...

I read the transcript, but only got to listen to this last night. Immense! For those interested, she's about 27 (went to school with a friend) and also has a similair amazing one on labour, which I will try to dig out. For more hormonal crying.

Agree with D; also buy more than you think you'll need re: maternity pads. I didn't and ran out in the middle of the night. Useful: Muslins. A million uses (used to shove mine in my bra for nightime boob leaking). We've still got all 37 of ours (!) Baby rocker/bouncer/chair thing. We had one that vibrated, what larks. Gro-bags. Cheeky S still sleeps in his at 15mo. Cotton wool. Bath support Baby oil, non-scented. Baby Einstein DVDs; entertained him as a teeny tiny thing, still do now. One of those light show mobiles. Became a staple in our night-time routine. Hooded bath towels Baby sling/carrier. I didn't get on so well with the Bjorn, but different strokes etc. Baby leggings with feet attatched. If that makes sense? So, like the bottom half a babygro. Jumperoo type thing for when Seb was 5+ months- it had a seat that swiveled 360 degrees and it was a godsend. Antilop highchair from Ikea. T Useless: Cutesy baby outfits, for when baby was less than 6 months. Baby gros are fine. Scented baby products. Ditto scented bathproducts. Fancy baby moisturisers. e45 is fine. Huge, bulky pram. I had a c-section and it made getting out and about really hard. Baby nappy bin. WHAT A CROCK. Sainos value nappybags are 25p a pack and do the job just as well. Manual breastpump. Go electric. Inflatable swimming ring. Seb hated it.

2nd April good for me; Recreation Ground in Camberwell is about 30 seconds from my house, so PERFECT for me too :)

I do probably come across as over-sensitive, but in my mind, like Mellors said, there is a difference between a bit of 'rough housing' between two toddlers and one older child being aggressive towards a younger child. Seb gets picked on a LOT, and he is really still a baby, so it breaks my heart! Can also identify with the friends issue. My friend has a lad about two months older than Seb and he is a right little so-and-so, and pushes Seb around/pulls his (lovely and long) hair whenever we go over there. Friend always says 'oh he's VERY protective of his things...' or 'Boys will be boys'. Sorry, but I just don't buy all that kind of reasoning. Poor little S, he just wants to be friends with everyone.

Mellors: GOOD. Tell it how it is. We stopped going to Soft Play for the same reason; Seb was only about 9 months old and crawling and older kids used to try and push him over (like cow-tipping). My husband gets proper mardy at the parents, too. Also, eau du urine is grim grim grim.

Me and my husband took Seb to the baby play bit at the Tate (with the musical slide, big winner) and he was pushed over twice by older children and then a six year old hit him really hard on the back of his little head, and made him cry his eyes out. I must admit, I cried too, I cannot BEAR to see him hurt or upset. Like your little girl, he just didn't get it- in his mind, he was just playing. Also like you, I know it's a phase, but I have practically crippled myself telling Seb about being KIND and GENTLE and LOVING and he is more likely to come over to toddlers/babies and give them cuddles or kisses than push them over. He is a kind and gentle boy. Gushing a bit, sorry, it's the hormones. I always say 'No, that is NOT NICE and you DON'T HIT' or whatever if toddlers/children (not younger babies) hurt Seb and the parents don't say anything (which 9/10, they do).