sillywoman

I think it was hard because the age gap was 3 1/2 years. Too big for me: I'd just started to get a bit of life back, had a lovely part time job and was thinking of the future. To go back to nappies and sleepless nights was tough - well I thought so!

Three was just lovely, four - not so much (though I wouldn't swap him for the world and now they're older it's a delight to have him). Ethical/global issues didn't cross my mind, bad citizen that I am.

You have to be a low risk to be able to use the rooms I think - something they will asses once you reach about 36 weeks.

I would echo the above, we've been with them nearly twenty years now. Sophie the Midwife, and Cathy and Leslie the nurses are just lovely. You'll be very lucky to get on their books cos they're great.

I haven't read the last page, but have been following this with interest. Fifteen years ago I took my daughter out of Oaktree and sent her to Dulwich Village Preschool. It was a mistake and she wasn't happy there, but that's not my point. A few years later, in the Autumn of 2000 I was waiting, with a friend to collect a child from that preschool and a woman came running down the path (this was when the nursery was in the old cricket pavilion next to the Belair park river) and disappeared round the side of the building. She came back holding a small child. It was her child, it was her first day at nursery and she'd been left outside when the children were called in after playing. No-one in the nursery had noticed that little girl was missing, No-one. They didn't even realise until the Mother knocked on their door with her child in her arms. My friend and I had been waiting there a good 15 minutes so she must have been left alone for at least that long, possibly longer. Neither of us realised she was there as she was around a corner. The little girl on realising she was all alone in a strange place had seen her pushchair, left on the veranda by her mother that morning, and went to curl up in it. This was lucky as the nursery was sited then between the river and Gallery road, which is - as you know - fast moving and a scary prospect for an unaccompanied 2 year old. All three of us - the childs mother, my friend and I, were utterly horrified, and the child clearly traumatised. That child obviously never returned to that nursery, and that incident was the push I ended to take my child out. That nursery called no meeting of parents as far as I recall and is still going strong on the south circular. I don't see much difference between that incident and this one other than the use of their forum and the power of the media for the mother to vent her distress and ge the nursery closed. It's a shame really.

Mr Green in the village.

Just to add to your list: I always recommend Minder from this forum. She's childminded generations of Dulwich & ED children and in my opinion is just the best. If I was ever to need a childminder she would be my first port of call. If she has a space I suggest you snap her up. :D SWx

That's real helpful devsdev, did they give you any indication how long they expected water births to be off the agenda?

Oh my, that is such sad news. Simply childcare has been an enormously helpful source of information for generations of families in and around ED. Both it and it's owner will be sadly missed and their loss much mourned. I agree with Minder that in view of SIMPLY's long,& positive local associations the OP might consider changing the title to something a bit more respectful.

Well actually, my explanation does make sense James, but I think what you mean is that it's not the way that banding, as operated by Lewisham or Habadashers (you don't state by whom) actually works. As an explanation of how Habs allocated within their bands was what I was after and asking for in my first post, I am content to accept your assurance that what I had heard regarding the how their banding system worked wasn't the reality. So, they allocate on distance within the bands, not any other criteria. Am happy that the allocation will be fair then. :)

Yes, I get the banding thing. But OVERALL the school that creamed off the top 10% within the bands would be getting the most academic set from the whole cohort that they're being offered. Don't consider individual band - look at the overall intake. Does that make sense?

mariababe Wrote: ------------------------------------------------------- > I'm sorry sillywoman but that doesn't make any > sense (plus I hate the term "I have heard") > > Anyway if they are creaming the top 10% from band > 9 (lowest scores) how does that mean they are > taking the highest abled child?? > > No sense at all and definitely not sneaky I'm sorry you don't like the way I speak Mariababe, I have 'heard' is a common phrase in the english language and it means exactly what it says. I've 'heard' it - not read or seen - so I was asking whether anyone has any concrete evidence that this is or isn't the case. In that context I believe 'I have heard' is entirely appropriate. Sorry that you hate it. I'm not sure which part of my enquiry doesn't make sense to you so can't answer you properly, but I'll do my best. It makes a difference because: if it were true that haberdashers practiced creaming then they would be taking the most academically inclined in each banding across their intake population, therefore overall getting the children in each band who would be likeliest to get the best academic results. If a school that did this (lets call it school a) ) were to be physically placed next to, or in the immediate vicinity of, a school whose intake was purely based on distance (lets call it school b) ) then there would be a high risk that the academic kids in each band would go to school a), leaving the less academically inclined kids in each band to got o school b). School a) is likelier to get higher academic results and so, over time school b)'s results might be lower and so school a) would become more popular, school b) less so and could be perceived as less successful. As someone who fought hard 15 years ago to get a good, co-ed, non faith, community comprehensive with a fair, distance based selection process for my children to attend, I would be greatly saddened to see this happen in my community and to the great community comprehensive we have here. The Charter has been a huge success. I would like to see the educational opportunities they offer to everyone living in their community offered to more of those in East Dulwich. I like fairness.

Some great tips here, but as a family of 6 with both working full time (including some looong 14 hour shifts for me, and weekends too), no au pair, no cleaner & in fact no other help at all, the one that rings most helpful for me is Bawdy -nan's. Let stuff go. And in fact, when stuff starts to get missed or school things get forgotten it's amazing how quickly the children learn to become more organised and take responsibility for ensuring that important stuff doesn't get missed. It's a good learning curve for both them and you to learn to let stuff go and NOT micromanage. Also, as Convex says, the thread on mumsnet is brilliant.

I have heard that the banding system the current Haberdasher school uses creams off the top 10% of pupils in each band - thereby getting themselves the brightest and best pupils from the applying population. Is this really the case? If it is the case is this the criteria that would be applied for the new school? If so I can see why The Charter is not keen to have them on their doorstep competing for the same pupil intakes. It would be such a shame if the success of The Charter (truly comprehensive, and locally based intake) was ruined by this type of sneaky backdoor machinations.

Yes it's a problem I think about a lot with teaching Antenatal Classes - how do I encourage a positive attitude toward labour and birth, whilst maintaing the sense that birth can be a time of scary and out-of-control type feelings/situations - and that's normal too? It's all so individual, but I agree that negative feelings processed correctly can be a healthy response to a difficult birth or a difficult aspect of it - whether it was difficult in reality or in perception.

Naughty Saffron!! :D

Hi Everyone, This is just a heads up to remind you that this coming Thursday 24th, I will be hosting Aprils "ED Birthtalk" (this is the East Dulwich Positive birth group). It will be from 10am-12midday and anyone is welcome. It's held at my house in ED, so is walking distance for most, and babies/toddlers/children are very welcome. I will provide tea/coffee/biscuits/uneaten easter eggs etc.etc. and you just bring yourselves, your positive attitude and interest in all things birth related. The topic this month is "Am I allowed", which I'm hoping will spark some debate. I have some aids to discussion that I'll provide otherwise we'll just see where the conversation takes us. Please PM me for the address, otherwise I'll look forward to seeing as many of you as are interested and can make it on Thursday. SW x

As long as she has a sterile field, i.e. she, her equipment and everything that will come onto any contact with her, her equipment and the baby's mouth is sterile, then personally I wouldn't be so concerned about the surroundings being her home. I'm aware that others may feel differently though.

I'm just not very good at this planning business, am I?!! Yes, Thankyou StheB. Next session is April 24th. :D SWx

Morning Family Room Forumites. So I can't believe that April is nearly here and suddenly the next ED Birthtalk (the Positive Birth group for East Dulwich) is upon us. I have a slight hitch in my plans for April's group, namely that I cannot be available on this coming Thursday morning, so I'd like to suggest switching the schedule and running it on the LAST Thursday in April instead of the first. And in fact I would like in future to run all the monthly sessions on the last Thursday in the month instead of the first. The format will remain the same with alternate mornings and evening sessions (Aprils will be a morning group, May will be an evening). SO this Months ED Birthtalk will be held on Thursday April 23rd 10am-12pm. The topic is "Am I allowed?", and for the venue please PM me as it's at my house. Anyone is welcome. It's a morning session so babies/toddlers/children are welcome too. Tea/coffee & biscuits are provided (though a bit basic so if anyone attending is a baker please feel free to bring cake/homemade biccys etc.etc.). The idea is that we get to sit and chat about birth positively. I admit to a second reason for changing the timing. EAch month the other national Positive Birth group facilitators post ideas and information about how they cover the monthly topic on their Facebook Group. If we hold our group at the end of the month I get to glean the best idea's and cherry pick the best visual aids if any are posted to help our discussions. A bit selfish, but I wan the best for the Ed group :D Lastly,I would re-iterate this is NOT a natural birth group. We aim to be positive and find positivity in every and all kinds of birth. The focus is on your experience and for views and how as a society we can encourage a more positive reflection of the range of birth experiences. This group welcomes anyone at all who would like to spend a couple of hours chatting with other people interested in the way we think and talk about birth in our society and others. Hope to see some of you at the end of the month. SW x

This place might be able to help 'Sailor? http://www.mankind.org.uk It sounds so sad and awful for your poor friend. I'm, glad he's got you and sailorboy to talk to.

The grazing for food is CONSTANT. One leaves, another arrives. Will it ever end?

I work there too, and second everything the others have said. Very friendly and Ladywell park is a delight. Friends who live there say there's a really strong community. Lots of families who have lived there for generations - something that a lot of ED families can no longer afford to contemplate :(

My friends often go here with their children and they love it. She had two of my boys to stay there with them last year, and they loved it - when we went to collect them I could see why. My friend describes it as a bit like tellytubby land (how that dates us!), and it is! It's a huge green grassy space with the chalets all set around it. No cars or roads (cars left in the car park) and the children can play while parents watch them in peace. There's the usual pool and playground facilities and some other stuff (can't remember exact details). And it's sooo peaceful and restful. Very Enid Blyton-esque. It might be worth a look? http://www.kingsdownpark.net

I've passed your link to my friend with a talented pianist young son in Selhurst. I'm hoping she'll pass it on to his teacher so the word will spread . . .