sillywoman

Agree about Naomi Stadlen, & 'wonder weeks', but would also add 'The Babysense Secret' by Megan Faure. I've posted about her book before, she makes a lot of sense of what is happening with your baby in the early weeks & months, and does it in a very readable format (good for sleep deprived concentration spans).

I've just read this book. The woman (Megan Faure) is a genius. She uses the best combination of common sense and up-to-date science to make some sense of what's happening to you, your partner & your baby in those crazy early days and up to a year after. She particularly focusses on sleep issues at every different stage, with a very sensible and practical approach to the many, many varieties of issues. If you're pregnant, about to have a baby, have a new baby or an older child with sleep problems and you're book inclined I can highly recommend Megan Faure's book. I wish I'd read it when I had my first. SW P.S. No, I'm not on commission, I just think it's a really good, but little known about book that could be very very helpful indeed.

srisky Wrote: ------------------------------------------------------- > > Is there some way in which you could provide this > (albeit anectodotal) feedback to the NCT > organisers? > > Ideally yes, but as ever where big institutions are involved, there seems to be something of a 'disconnect' between what those of us working with women & couples know, and what those working within the management mechanism of the charity seem able to hear & understand. Hence me posting on here.

Ooh, we loved the Huger Games books they were brilliant, but not very ballet-y, no. At 13 I think my girl was still quite into the Jaqueline Wilson type books, or anything by Cath Cassidy, or Sophie McKenzie ( I also enjoyed the latter - oh the shame). All social, friends, growing-up plot lines.

I'm following the homebirth thread with mounting horror, and have been prompted to post. Recently it's come to my attention that not all NCT Antenatal teachers teach the same topics. It seems that there are some teachers who chose to take, what some might term a "positive birth" approach to teaching antenatal classes. That is to say that these teachers might chose not to cover issues such as Assisted Births (forceps or ventouse), Induction of labour, or Caesarean Birth in their courses. Personally, I cannot debate the rights and wrongs of this approach on this forum, but what I wanted to say was this; If you are booking an NCT class please double check that you are getting a class that will provide the information you want/ need. For some of you that will be a 'positive birth' class, others would like a more comprehensive approach. Most Antenatal teachers local to us take the comprehensive approach, but not all. Please make sure that your course is the right one for you. Ask when you book. SW

Lovely post sbryan, I was cheering you all the way to the paragraph where you've made me sound like I'm anti Obstetrician and that I'm making women feel as though they've failed if they don't get the perfect birth. Ouch, really - ouch. I apologise for not mentioning Obstetricians in my 'protectors of birth' list, many of them very much are. It was an oversight rather than an indicator that I believe in an "us & them" culture. I don't. I hope I am more balanced than that. Edited to add that I would be gutted, just gutted if I felt that I was leading women to feel that they had 'failed' in any way whatever kind of birth they have. I am fairly broken hearted that you could have managed to interpret what I've written to make it seem as though this is what I do. Really, I cannot tell you how low that inference of yours has cast me. And that it should come from someone with such influence. Retiring now to consider whether I'm in the right job, & lick my wounds.

James, I could be wrong but I think the site has a covenant on it which prevents it from being used for a school. The Campaign group who managed to create The Charter School considered the site as a possibility for their new school 10 or more years ago, but it was impossible because the land is given for the benefit of public health and could not be used for anything else. But as I say, I could be wrong about that. It was a good few years ago now. personally I think a few allotments on that site would be a much better use of the land, and a benefit to public health.

Monkey Wrote: ------------------------------------------------------- > A sobering story to mention to persuasive NCT > teachers and other people talking non-sense: there > was a mix up when we ordered the ambulance. A > doctor finally arrived, thinking he had been sent > for a resuscitation. It was not - I needed an > ambulance to take me to hospital. We had to wait > more for the ambulance. I think you might find that some of those "persuasive NCT teachers" are fully aware of the failings in the system - both for hospital and homebirth. They just want women to be fully aware of their choices. They hear a lot of sobering stories Monkey, so feel free to add another into the mix. They're also reading this thread & this one in particular is a bit cross at the unfounded accusation that I am 'talking nonsense'. I for one welcome this study - though I haven't yet read it in it's entirety, I do intend to very shortly. Anything that gives clarity on risk factors with accurate & relevant statistics is useful when making people aware of their choices, and the reality of what those choices might mean to them. Also I am very fond of statistics. For me I'm not too sure where I stand on homebirth from a professional standpoint, I do support it, but with reservations for first timers. Like littlemoo, I've pondered long & hard on whether to post on this thread or not, but I feel I should come clean at this point - I was littlemoo's NCT teacher and have travelled the journey through the death of her first baby, the joy and anxiety of babymoo2, and am now delighted all over again to be looking forward to welcoming babymoo3. Like Littlemoo, the supportive words I spoke to her regarding her homebirth during her first pregnancy will haunt me for the rest of my life and the part I played in babymoo's story is something I'll carry to my grave. When tragedies happens everyone involved must surely examine their own consciences? On a personal level I've had 2 homebirths myself, so I do know how much better they are in terms of birth experience, which can have a knock on impact on the speed of a womans recovery, and so to the physical resources she has available to deal with those tough first few weeks with a new baby. Why wouldn't I want other woman to have the opportunity to experience that if they chose? But there are risks. Babymoo's death has certainly informed my teaching and changed my view (as do many of the birth stories I hear) - I wouldn't be a thinking, reasoning being if it didn't. I no longer advocate homebirth with quite such gay abandon, BUT I do advocate it, within certain parameters and with appropriate support and circumstances. Giving birth is not risk free wherever you do it. If we approach this risk in a climate of fear then we may well end up with a birth situation like the Brazilians have - 80-90% caesarean section in their cities. Whole generations of women who don't know anyone who has given birth vaginally. Midwives and Obstetricians who are de-skilled at delivering babies vaginally. Part of what Midwives, Doula's and Antenatal teachers do is to protect the culture of birth. We only have to look across the pond to see what happens when fear of birth & fear of risk is allowed to escalate and an Obstetric, risk averse culture prevails. Yes, this research seems to suggest that first time Mums would be better off in a MLU (Tommies or Lewisham being our closest - come on Kings, get your finger out!). Yes the main aim for every woman should be, & is a safe Mum & a safe baby, (I've yet to encounter a woman who feels otherwise) but also stuff happens. Weigh the evidence, examine your beliefs and ethics, make the decisions that are right for you & your set of individual circumstances. But it's important to acknowledge that the decisions we make for ourselves aren't always right, the decisions we make for our babies and children aren't always right. We can only do our best with the information available at the time and live with the consequences. We are only human.

Google translate says; And this year there was a harmony between the first and of the prioress of Bermundeseye Halywell, is by the tithes in the Dilewiche, namely, that the said prior and receive all the tithes of the major meetings concerning Bermundeseye arising out of the countries, of which the wood or in the pasture of the said nuns turn agriculture in the parish of Cambyrwelle

PMSL at the thought of Otta doing "big help-me eyes" at some poor unsuspecting bike shop person. Now that's something that would really be worth seeing!

I'm still denying all challenges to the "Father Christmas is real" myth. It's the cause of a lot of mirth & "ohh Muuum" type sighing & shoulder shrugging among my older children. I'll never admit otherwise, I don't see the need - they work out what they need to know in their own good time. I'm their Mum if I can't maintain the myth of a little bit of good magic in their world then who can? I intend to go to my grave declaring the existance of FC! ;-)

It might be worth giving them a heads-up to be extra careful and vigilant, and maybe to be sure always to walk with a friend? http://www.hernehillforum.org.uk/news/attempted-abductions

I had a feeling it was ;-)

Elm Lodge GP practice in Burbage road also has a specialist dermatological GP in Naomi Kemp. She's a delight with both adults and children. Very thorough, kind and gentle. Of course she's just a GP not a consultant but she is always now my starting point.

From a distance away now so I'm looking back with hindsight. My first two were 18 months apart. We had no help at all & my husband worked long hours. I think it was too close. I don't have much memory of my eldest's second year & she has no memory of having me or her Dad to herself. I wouldn't say she resents this, but she does feel sad about it. This wasn't expressed until she was older however so, like Pickle, if you'd asked me a few years ago I would have said there were no, or very few jealousy issues. However she & her younger brother are relatively close (given teenage disdain for anything family!), & again, like Pickle's two, they were very close as little ones, more like twins really. There was 2 1/2 years and 3 1/2 years between 2 &3, then 3 & 4. 3 1/2 years was a killer. We were out of nappies and getting sleep. In the mornings all the children could get themselves downstairs and put cbeebies on - we even had lie-ins. To then go back to nappies and night waking and the constant observation that babies need was awful. Needless to say we haven't gone for number 5! Overall I would say that 2 1/2 years was the easiest and best gap for us - all of us - and that has continued to be the case over the last 11 years. However, each to their own, & different circumstances (more money, more help) may have given me a different perspective.

I do. Have Pm'd you.

Yes, I agree with the other posters - Tyor I think you may be missing the point. It's not about which school you'd be happy with - you don't get to chose like that. For state primaries it's about which school you're lucky enough to get into, dictated pretty much solely by where you live. As BeccaL said at the beginning - If you post on here which two primaries are nearest to your house people can & will, no doubt, give their opinion of them. It's highly likely that you won't get into any state school further away than that, so unless you're planning to move within the catchment area of your 'top' school, compiling a 'top 5' list is a pointless exercise.

Well I didn't make it out last night so I'm aiming to come round this evening. Going by previous evenings It takes me about 2 hours to get 30 signatures going door to door. Is there anyone out there who has an informed opinion on the CPZ, who would like to offer an hour or so to help me petition this evening and tomorrow evening so we can get round as many properties as possible in & around the CPZ zone before sending the petitions in on Monday? Please PM me if you think you might be able to help. Thanks, SW

OMGoodness verds, your poor friend! Umm, Crystal Palace is a tricky one - depending on where she is she might find she's under Lewisham Midwives? The best thing for her would be to telephone her GP and ask them to tell her which community midwives should be visiting her - they may even have one attached to the surgery. It might be better if someone could do it for her, & be a bit dogged about it (a new Mum is more easily fobbed off due to hormones that might make her a bit more compliant than usual, plus the distractions of a new baby). If she's struggling with feeding then the NCT feeding line can be helpful (sometimes)http://www.nct.org.uk/contact-us, or if she's willing to pay, then a lactation consultant might be the way forward (they'll come to your home & sit with you). They're discussed on this thread http://www.eastdulwichforum.co.uk/forum/read.php?29,691449,692042#msg-692042 - personally I've heard really good things about Katie Hall & Jill Dye. Also there's a private midwife who teaches antenatal classes in ED & is just lovely http://www.sofiejacobs.com/ - she might be able to help? I hope she gets her midwives & fingers crossed for some good feeding support for her too. SW

Last night I had to go to bed early with migraine - it was better this morning, but reading through the posts since yesterday afternoon I feel it coming back. Anyway . . . . . . today/ tonight I'll be back on the case. I'm hoping to door-to-door petition East Dulwich Grove & North Melbourne Grove. We've been given an extension until Monday to get the petitions in - so please, if you see a petition and you have feelings either way (for, or against having a CPZ in the proposed area), sign a petition so your voice can be heard.

Those first few days with a new baby are so tricky chantelle, I remember the confusion and stress of it well. However your breasts will have had colostrum in them in the period between the birth of your baby and your milk coming in. I obviously have no idea why your son didn't eat, but rest assured it won't have been because you didn't have anything there. I only post this in case there are some Mums-to-be reading this and becoming anxious about not having milk in their breasts to feed their babies. There's a lot of scare-mongering about this issue for new 1st time Mums. You will have milk - how efficient your baby will be at accessing it is another issue, & it is true that lots of women will need help with getting their babies to feed. Help that isn't always easily accessible. However It's extremely, extremely rare for a woman to have no milk or colostrum - & those rare incidences tend to happen mainly in 3rd world countries where women are more likely to be malnourished themselves due to famine for example, rather than here in South London (not saying that it never happens - just that it's highly unlikely and something of a medical anomaly when it does).

Thanks Zak, I've managed to cover a good chunk of Trossachs, Hillsborough, Thornecombe & Tarbert tonight. I'm hoping to do Glengarry & East Dulwich Grove tomorrow evening (with the help of gsirett). I didn't get everyone as some people were out. If you'd like to sign a petition (& haven't already) - either 'for' or 'against' the CPZ (in the interest of fairness) in the proposed area, and you live in any of the roads I've mentioned calling at, then please PM me & I'll try to arrange to get to you before tomorrow night. Once we've collated & scanned our petitions we'll post them to the gmail address, and to Paul Gellard. Fingers crossed it will all count for something? SW

I really agree with you katsuQueen, there are many, many reasons why a woman may chose not to breastfeed, and I really feel there's no point getting into the why/why not debate. It's a personal issue that is as individual to each woman as our ways of living are. My point though was that the particular baby belle posted about was crying because it was hungry, the woman had milk in her breasts to feed the baby (otherwise it would have been a medical issue & the midwife would have given formula), the decision not to feed the baby with that available milk in that instant was the Mothers, not the midwife's. Therefore it was the Mother's decision to "have a baby screaming its head off in hunger, potentially dehydrated, purely out of "principle", rather than the midwife's. I'd be willing to bet the midwife was very distressed by that particular situation. Listening to a little baby scream because it's mother won't feed it is just awful for all concerned. We are all responsible for our own decisions. If you decide - for whatever reason - not to breastfeed, then it's incumbent upon you to take steps & plan to make sure you have other ways to feed your baby when it needs it - much as you're doing by posting now in your search for disposable bottles. You're planning ahead to look after your baby. In the first instance the baby (when well, and otherwise healthy) is its parents responsibility. If a Mother choses not to feed her baby with the milk freely available then that's her choice that she is free to make, but she can't really blame others when her baby cries whilst she's waiting for the other milk to arrive. Especially when the means to feed it is at hand. That particular situation is of the mothers making, not the midwife's. I don't presume to comment on any other situation at all, only on the one that belle has posted.

cuppa tea Wrote: ------------------------------------------------------- > Belle Wrote: > -------------------------------------------------- > ----- > > when i was there at the end of Sept a mw was > > refusing formula to the lady opposite me (who > had > > chosen to ff, but whose partner was unable to > make > > it into the hospital that day with > > bottles/formula) - I felt SO sorry for her, her > > baby was only 11 hrs old and screaming its head > > off. She said they couldn't give it out without > a > > medical reason. So I think you're def right to > be > > prepared - we didn't have any with us, and > > fortunately didn't need it in the end but had a > > stash of the SMA ready made bottles at home and > my > > hubbie was prepared to dash back for them if > need > > be. > > > > I think the tommee tippee ones are fast flow > from > > memory... > > > Crikey, that's not pro-breastfeeding, that's > cruelty!!! Well, to be fair to the unknown midwife - there's nothing in belle's post to suggest the Mum didn't actually have the resources available to feed her hungry baby, she was just choosing not to. Cruelty from Mum rather than Midwife maybe? All a question of perception.

and to add to gsirett's petition I'll be coming door-to-door tonight with the petition (version2 - as suggested by james to be 'acceptable' to Southwark council, just in case they get funny about the wording on the one in the shops). I'm aiming to do as much of Trossachs, Tarbert, Glengarry, Thornecombe, East Dulwich Grove (opposite EDH) & Hillsborough as possible. What doesn't get done tonight will hopefully get done tomorrow, or Thursday at the latest.