sillywoman

red devil Wrote: ------------------------------------------------------- > Lakeland is always right up there for state of the > art ground breaking design... > > You just know this ain't gonna work... Ooh red devil I had one of those :)) It didn't work :'( For me (my dreams aren't as large scale as Lady Muck - I'm building up to her level); http://www.all4gardening.co.uk/ScProductDetail/_Garden-Mirrors/Opened-Gate-Effect-Garden-Mirror_1470.aspx Poncey, but I want one.

Hi Owen, commiserations about your bike. We've been through the same thing several times, most recently in May when MrS's much loved BMW strada was taken overnight from our front garden. They are absolutely professional. They come ready prepared. In our case cutting the wire to our security light, cutting through the chain that locked it up and lifting the bike out through our gate (taking my husbands Ridgeback cycle that was behind our locked side gate for good measure). The particularly sickening thing is that the same thing happened to our neighbour up the road less than a week earlier. We thought we were OK because our bike was hidden behind our hedge & well locked, but as you say they 'target' certain bikes - it almost feels like nothing can stop them, if they want your bike they'll take it. We now have a ground anchor and a stronger chain, plus several alarms but really in my heart of hearts I'm not sure it's enough. Is anything? Another sickening thing is that the police are just completely uninterested. There's so clearly a gang working the area, and yet they seem to be doing nothing at all and these criminals know that so they're free to take what they like without any consequence to them - only us poor suckers who are left to deal with the fall out. You have my sympathies, you really do.

PeckhamRose Wrote: ------------------------------------------------------- > she was able to confirm > that people are so helpful and friendly in Nunhead > and that where she lives in ED there is not such a > feeling of community. > > Your friend clearly doesn't live in my bit of ED then PR! One of the things that stops me from moving anywhere else is the strong sense of community around me. My experience is that Nunhead's nice enough, but no nicer or friendlier than the ED I live & work in every day.

Renata, do any list Dyslexia as their specialty SEN?

You have my sympathies chrism. We have similar issues elsewhere.

Hmm, not to dismiss your experience in any way chrism, but I must say that all sounds like standard 'state comp' stuff. We've experienced similar over at 'the other school', & asking around complaints about communication, a mixed bag of teachers, and record keeping seem to be common gripes from those at state schools (and sometimes those paying too).

helena handbasket Wrote: ------------------------------------------------------- > > > I actually like the wisdom of the nannies TBH. > It's like asking doctors to overhaul the > healthcare system, instead of leaving it to > lawyers in government. From Eton. PMSL @ that HH:)) Another bumbler here. I've dipped into a few books in my time sometimes for personal reasons, sometimes professional. For me & my kids none of them made me think "oh, I'll definitely do that" - though after a crisis of confidence I did try Gina's potty training techniques with number 4. It was crap for us so I went back to doing what I'd done with the other 3 - we just bumbled through it all. My best parenting advice has always come from other Mums, trial & error, & yes, instinct (I suspect this is more down to in depth knowledge of my child, me, & our family unit than anything more ethereal). Having said all that I do think that parenting books have a place; if it's only that in reading them you are made to question more analytically what it is you do/ don't do that works/ doesn't work. I find it helps to keep in mind Phillip Larkin through the child raising process.

LuLu Too Wrote: ------------------------------------------------------- > The Year of Magical Thinking by Joan Didion - a > beautifully heartfelt book that made profound > sense to me when reading it a couple of months > after a sudden unexpected bereavement of an > immediate family member. > > Might make sense to your friend too - especially > if the sad death of her dad was unexpected. > > Conversely I read this book not long after losing a very close friend unexpectedly; it irritated the hell out of me to the point of throwing the bloody thing across the room! I found it name-dropping, c'leb obsessed, self-absorbed twaddle & couldn't focus at all on any 'truths' it may have offered. Clearly it wasn't helpful for me! I only mention this as the other side of the coin - your friend could take it either way I guess. Like everything on here you'll probably always find someone who loved a specific book & someone who hated it (sorry). Incidentally I loved Michael Rosen's 'Sad' book. It's aimed at kids, but it really struck a chord with me. Also I bought 'Carrying the Elephant' for the mother of my Godson when he died horribly young in a car crash, it was some months after, but she said that it helped to dip into it sometimes. Again, it's difficult to judge on behalf of someone else though, & she might have been fibbing to make me feel better!

It's also possibly a survival strategy cuppa tea? I can only speak for myself here, but I know that I found myself so alarmed at having sole responsibility for my first newborn (no family or friends around at all) that I think (with hindsight) I shut down to everything except the need to keep myself and my daughter alive and well for the first 6 months. I was very 'me me me mine mine mine' because I just had to be to survive - or so I felt. So maybe it's a natural product of moving so far distant from the closer knit communal groups that as a species we're designed to live in?

Once they can turn themselves from front to back & back to front it doesn't matter how you put them down. If he sleeps better on his front then I would try putting him on his front for bed. If he gets into crawling position then maybe a few (firm-ish) back pats to encourage him down, if you have a good sense of rhythm them tie them in with a favourite nursery rhyme or lullaby & then do the usual exit routine? Good luck SG88. They are very cute when they sleep with their bums' in the air aren't they?

Well saffron that was very eloquently put but I think I must be a bit dumb because I'm still not sure which bit of my OP you disagreed so vehemently with? I think you're saying maybe you don't disagree but rather you read my post one way when I meant it another? Hence the semantics comment? Not sure. Anyway I think I agree with what you've just posted so beautifully. Surely no-one sane would suggest that total submission of self could ever be a good thing in the long term, but is also surely a fairly necessary thing following the crucible of childbirth & through the early weeks? This time can leave many women struggling with both the shock of what has happened to them, the intensity of their feelings (one way or the other) & the balancing of their new identity and their old one - a period of grieving for their old life is common. It's tough enough, being told by someone who hasn't yet been through the process that they are no longer 'cool' & that she doesn't want to become one of them just because they are going through this process in the best way they can (by discussing it with others on a similar continuum) is surely unhelpful in the extreme - Semantics or no semantics? And wherever Josiehendrick finds herself on the continuum of needing to maintain sense of self I am willing to lay money she'll be spending at least some time discussing poo, possibly smiling wryly as she does so.

I am suprised Saffron - which bit in particular, or was it everything I said? I must come clean - I'm one of the women who did find the OP offensive. Of course she has since explained her meaning more fully and it clarified that the way it read (to me) wasn't how it was meant. So I no longer felt offended, but josiehendrick re-arroused that feeling all over again by her derogative use of "east dulwich yummy mummy"& suggesting that they've forgotten who they were before they had children. These "Yummy Mummy"s are very close to my heart (though I can't claim to be one as I don't consider myself to be "yummy" enough). I see them all the time & a cooler, kinder, more considerate, fun loving, witty, intelligent and compassionate group of women you could never meet. Of course they've changed from the person they were before they had babies. Nature designs it that way with a bucket load of hormones so that the small piece of the future of humanity that they're creating has the best chance of survival. They don't forget who they were before, it's just that something much more important is occupying them for the moment. The poo discussions are part of that. If you were making a machine to save the world wouldn't you need to discuss the minutiae with other engineers? When you go away from home to college or university you don't forget who you were before you left, you just have something much more exciting to discuss with your new friends who are experiencing the same things at the same time. It's difficult to relate that to those back home who aren't sharing it with you. Well I see childbirth and caring for new babies in the same light. It's a life changing event & for a while it can be all-absorbing. That doesn't mean you are 'less cool'. It means you're a great Mum. To my mind allowing yourself to become absorbed by baby-world for a bit is a good thing. It's true that as time moves on it's nice to rediscover who you were, but I strongly feel that any pressure to hurry that process, or dismiss the baby-time as 'uncool' is bowing to the media promoted vision of the celebrity Mum who is back with her personal trainer by day 2, and out partying by day 5. Women need that time to come to terms with the hugely important and precious (yes and often mind numbing) new job that they've taken on, poo talk is a crucial part of that,providing as it does, an insight into a baby's general health & digestion - what's normal & what isn't. I could go on - it's something I feel strongly about (can you tell?). I'll stop now. But MOTHERSMEETINGS you've wasted all your time and energy as far as I'm concerned - the WORLDS COOLEST MUMS are right here in East Dulwich & they are discussing poo amongst many other things. I hope that the OP and josiehendricks will find that out for themselves in time.

I think josiehendrick may look back on her post in the months to come with a very wry smile. But we've all been there pre-children, and as clearly we'll be welcoming her to the 'yummy mummies' set very shortly - whether she thinks she will be or not (Yes Josie - you too will be discussing poo, amongst other, much less interesting things) - we should cut her some slack. May I say though Josiehendrick; your comment that "anyone who took it (the original OP as offensive) so is obviously feeling intimidated by the word 'cool' which is kind of silly since we've left school[/i now "gives away that you've clearly not stood in a school playground with other parents of your peergroup recently. If you had you might well have realised that the politics of playgrounds never, ever changes no matter whether you're 7 or 37 and the same things that mattered when we were all at school matter all over again once we're back in the playground. Really, we don't grow up as much as you might think. Butu I guess this is stuff you'll discover for yourself in the years ahead. Good luck with your baby, I hope for it's sake that you can embrace your inner yummy-mummy and allow yourself to become a very different person from the one you are before baby, because that's how nature enables babies to survive and thrive.

There is no way on God's earth I would have taken any of my little ones to Kings whilst I was in labour. It could traumatise them for life! There was one point when it looked like we might have to consider it at very short notice (I was pushing at home for a while & my Mother hadn't turned up as arranged). There was no doubt in my mind that MrS would have to stay home with our daughter whilst the midwife & I went to Kings if it came to it. Luckily it didn't. I know everyone is different but please consider carefully. A busy labour ward is really, really not the place to take any child. If you do take her what use will you be able to be as a birth partner - all your time will likely be spent with your little girl, reassuring her that the odd moaning/mooing/screaming noises she can hear are nothing to be concerned about? As many others have already said; have plans, Plan B's, reserve plans & backup plans. Postnatal ward is OK for little ones to visit, but the labour ward? A definite 'Not under any circumstance' for me.

We are an agnostic/something-but-unsure-what household & all our children have been through DVI school on community places. I can't rate it highly enough & even my very skeptical, 'hyper alert for any hint of religion' husband admits that the school was just great. They do discuss God & religion(s a bit but it doesn't pervade their lives at school. Also bear in mind it's only an infant school so their time of influence is very short - 3 years. They don't seem to have particular lessons about christianity more, 'be nice so others will be nice to you' kind of thing (though obviously with more depth to it than that - I'm severely paraphrasing there). It's just underlying the schools ethos. I don't recall any extracurricular religious events, though I guess it depends whether you count Easter, Christmas & end of term church services as religious. Certainly if you do then there are some events, but there's no pressure to attend & no one keeps a record or would feel let down if you didn't attend (though your child may have something to say about it!). The strongest sense my children came away with was a sense of community, being safe, & being respected. I would say go for it - even with the hell of year 3 transfer - you just will never find a lovelier start to a childs' school life than they'll get at DVI under it's present head. Incidentally we now have 1 agnostic, 1 atheist, 1 christian & 1 too young to decide yet child. They were all encouraged to think for themselves & clearly they have!

Noooo, I Love, love, love this time of year. It's my favourite time. All the lovely berries & fruits to be gathered in & then all those good things to look forward to over the next few months; Halloween, Bonfire night, then Christmas, plus I have a birthday in there somewhere. I love the dark evenings knowing you're going home to a cup of tea & a lovely cosy fire. Snuggling up on the sofa with he kids in front of Dr Who or whatever. We might even get some snow. It's lovely - what's not to like? I love it.

I'm so glad to hear that Natsha, particularly as our car was stolen from in front of our house in the early hours of this morning. A small ray of hope on what has been a very, very grey day in the silly house.

Thankyou Bonfire2010, this is very useful information. You do a lot of good to raising awareness of these particularly nasty forms of Cancer. I think that the family room is a good place to post this information.

Birthday tea with a few party games?

Means tested bursary only for Midwifery, based on household income. Also, sadly, no academic holidays. Have a friend currently doing the OT degree at St Georges. No bursary for her either (also means tested) but she does get academic holidays. Really something to factor in if you have school age kids.

I know that there's already a thread about this but it's so well buried that I just can't find it. MrS & I would like to take our boys out for the day tomorrow & need some advice as we're having serious imagination failure. Our only criteria are 1) needs to be free 2)must be no more than 40-60 minute drive/travel. Any suggestions greatly appreciated 3)Nothing at all screen related!!

I love that GSJ57, and I'm going to repeat it to myself whenever I wobble. Thanks.

Thankyou very much VSG - that's very kind of you. Need to get myself accepted first. Then break it to MrS that the 3 yr degree course doesn't give me academic holidays - just 5 weeks a year - so God only knows what we'll do in the school holidays. Also we will lose my income for 3 years so it's quite a big deal/ask for the whole family. Think I'll just go for it & see what happens though - sometimes you just have to bite the bullet don't you? Aaaargh!

sorry - should have added a ;-) for clarity of tone. 15 years & 4 children on though, one of the few things I'm certain about is that raising children in the best way you can will involve sacrifices. It's not a bad thing or a good thing. It's just a fact.

Baby's cry because they need something. It may not be food, it's more likely to be comfort, a cuddle something of that ilk. If you can bear to listen to your little baby asking you for a cuddle or asking you for some comfort because they're scared or anxious for 45 minutes then you're a stronger man/woman than me! Of course you need to balance the reckoning for how much they need from you with how old they are, how much they're crying & what else is going on in their lives at that time (teething, growth spurt, illness etc.etc.) What Maternity nurses do is they don't respond to the baby's pleas for comfort because they don't have the hormones/connection with baby driving them to it. They can be that little bit cooler about the whole process. It's not cruel in any massive way, it does result in a baby that sleeps better - well they just don't call out for comfort when they wake, they 'self-soothe' themselves back to sleep - but it also results in a baby who knows that his needs won't be met by Mum/Dad so they cry less (hence they tend to seem like 'placid' babies). They learn there's no point in asking for comfort. Is this a good thing? Who knows? Depends on you POV I guess? It's not an approach that was for me, but it suits some.