sillywoman

Isn't the accepted form to put pumpkin lanterns or decorations out if you're up for being trick-or-treated on? No decorations, no knocks on the door Keef - that's how it works round here, that way old ladies & grumpies don't get bothered. It's certainly what I drum into my kids.

My daughter would rather have her fingernails pulled out slowly, and I must say it's one of the few times I agree with her. Well done Saff for promoting harmony in the sillyhouse! It's definitely American.

Heating on all night - OMG!!!! Don't tell sensibleman he'll have a pink fit at the thought. We've never ever even considered this - I feel like I'm suffocating just at thought of it. You must be very warm blooded folk in your house blooded New Mother? Or this this normal - does everyone else do this & we're the odd ones out? Not sure advice to keep kids warm with layers of clothes is 'modern' though? I'd have thought that was advice based on common sense & thousands of generations of effective child raising - harking back to living in caves & wrapping up in furs? I think being able to raise the ambient room temperature with central heating is a fairly modern phenomena isn't it? And yes SB - cold hands or face is no indicator of core body temperature at all & unless it bothers your child I wouldn't be worrying about it at all as long as their chest/ back of neck below collar line is warm. Each to their own though, in this child raising lark - it's so interesting what other folk do isn't it?

My Dad lives in the US so we get to see him for a couple of weeks every couple of years or so. My Mum is in the Midlands & pretty much uninterested in us = we see her once a year or so. Sensibleman(who was born & bred here)'s Dad is dead now & Mum is in an old people's home in Reading with altzeimers. I'm so sad that my children have pretty much grown up without Grandparents, and that me & sensibleman have had to do the whole parenting lark alone. I'm very envious of those of you with interested & local parents and PIL, but at the same time, having found it so hard on our own, I'm glad that you have people around you to help you love your children & be the best parents you can be. Hold your parents & PIL's close & be thankful for them you lucky people.

Another vote for fleece sleepsuits here - primark are fab for those. They worked a treat on exactly this problem for all mine.

We live near ED hospital & our neighbour has several papers delivered each day. He says he uses the newsagent at the bottom of LL - don't know if he'd stretch to Bawdale but might be worth asking?

OMG HH, please re-read your post. "It's just not like him. He's never been clingy and usually happily runs off and has fun when he gets somewhere. But not here. He has also started hitting children there (very unlike him) and seems to not be himself at home (and has started night waking/nightmares)." What would you advise if someone else were posting? I'd say trust your instinct absolutely & please - Get. Him. Out. Now.

Poor you Linzkg, but your instinct is right. I know once I had kids I was still OK with putting me or my husband in slightly risky situations, but never together at the same time - just in case. Statistically the increased risk is probably not born out, but instinctively you both need to act to ensure that one of you will be around to protect & raise your babe. I guess it's natures way of ensuring survival of the species? Anyway I'd like to tell you that it gets easier to ignore the instinct as they get older, but if anything I've found the opposite to be true, possibly cos we've had more kids so the stakes are raised. Now, even traveling on Sensiblemans motorbike with him to the other side of London gives me pause for thought. Ah well, watch out adrenaline junkies cos I'll be coming to join you when the kids are grown.

Have also heard 'there's a house inside my mummy' is a good one. Thanks guys, some useful tips. candj - I did a search as I too had a feeling this had already been covered, but I couldn't find anything. Fuschia - are you out there with your superhuman research powers? So, reading books to them, pressie from new baby (does this actually work? Can't harm I suppose), photo of you with toddler in tummy (interesting ...) any other clever &/or ingenious ways of preparing number 1 for number 2?

Yeah PR - I know it's not just sarf London, it happens everywhere. Taper - the police said they'd increased their presence around Warwick Gardens because there are a couple of gangs who've been operating like this there for a while. So they're obviously aware of the problem & acting on it - and in this instance, it worked! Son is fine, Thanks to all who expressed concern/ interest. the experience will make him warier(sp?), which can only be a good thing really for a teenage boy in a big city.

Don't think so Huggers, boy was arrested at his home about 9-10pm ish I think. Just Sarf London innit?

Just wondered if anyone had any top tips? Am specifically interested in 1st children around the age of about 2.

Yesterday evening sillyboy was mugged for his bike in Peckham. He was surrounded by 3 boys & 'steered' into Warwick Gardens (Park?). The boys made him get off his bike, hand over his money, his bike lock & the key to his lock, they were about to take his bike when the police appeared, called by some ladies in the park who had seen what was happening. The boys tried to make my son ride off with them, to make it appear as if he was one of them, & no doubt to take his bike from him in a more secluded location. My son rode a small way then turned & rode straight to the police who gave chase. They didn't catch them, but a boy who was in the park at the time & witnessed the mugging was able to recognise one of them & from his description the police have since been able to arrest a boy - already known to them & apparently a 'nasty piece of work'. The women stayed with sillyboy & comforted him until the police came back. The police were very kind to him & talked to him for over an hour, before bringing him & his bike home to me. So Thankyou Police for speedy action on the 999 call, and for being kind to my very shaken son afterwards. And Thankyou ladies who didn't just 'walk on by', but took the initiative to make the call then stayed with my upset son & comforted him. And Thankyou young man for having the courage to speak to the Police when you recognised one of the muggers. This was of course an unpleasant experience for my son, but you all helped to make it so much better than it might have been, and possibly to prevent it happening to someone else. You have all given me heart and made me even prouder than I was before to be a South-Londoner. THANKYOU.

As the Lindo wing is private, I don't imagine that this would be covered in the Healthcare Commission report, but I don't know. It's not mentioned anywhere that I can see.

Hi Saila, didn't quite understand the first bit of your last post but re the study - Sure. It was the Healthcare Commission report. It was done in 2007(?) I think and was done on every single hospital in the UK - a kind of 'state of the nation' on maternity services. It's available on www.birthchoice.co.uk along with more basic, but up to date stats from 2009. It makes fascinating reading. Some of it rates the services & some of it is the service users opinions. Re; the 'right' decision - it depends on what's important to you. Essentially the PN care in any of the big London hospitals is much the same - it depends on who you get on shift while you're there. If I were deciding where to have a baby now I'd be more inclined to look at current rates of CS, Induction, Forceps & Ventouse, plus how long it would take me to get to hospital as well as comparatively how happy other women with their PN care. Actually, if I were doing it again, I'd book a homebirth - PN care second to none ;-)!

Not strange at all Saila, your sister was just one of the 86.6% of happy Mums. A goodly proportion really. I would just challenge the absolute of 'she picked it cos she knew they had the 'best after care and facilities' - as it would seem from this detailed study that they don't.

Hmmmm Interesting, though when the healthcare Commission asked "Overall, thinking about the postnatal care you received in hospital after the birth of your baby, were you treated with respect and dignity?" 86.6% of St Mary's Mums said 'Yes, Always' or 'Yes, sometimes' compared with 96.4% of Kings Mums & 91.5% of Tommies Mums - maybe better off south of the river after all?

Also, I heard on the grapevine that Tommies are trialling a system whereby if you've had a straightforward labour & birth with no probs, when you go home they won't send a MW out to visit you & baby at all. So, if you're lucky with the birth & get the HFH unit, then it's all good - but once you leave you're on your own. Has anyone else heard of this? Can it be right? Tommies have always been shorter on visiting community MW's than Kings & their Mums generally get less visits, but surely this would be too risky? Anecdotally, there's two pins to chose between Tommies & Kings PN wards, though I think countjc is right in as far as you can still buy a private room postnatally - something you can't do at Kings.

Very good Kes, & I couldn't agree more about your blog comments on those (few) PN midwives who are doing the job as a 'job' not as a vocation. Especially postnatally. I just don't get it, why would you opt to look after women at their most vulnerable time in their lives if you have no empathy, or just plain don't care? Nope, just don't get it.

Yes, It's a right of passage that kind of self-righteous indignation at naughty people crossing on a red man whilst you try to show your child the right way to do it. I've done it too. Now my kids are bigger I'm over it & finding other things to vent my self-righteous indignation on, which I have no doubt I'll grow out of too in due course. You will too Moos & Pickle. In the meantime know that it's not a bad lesson for your DC's to learn - do just what Mummy says & ignore what the others do. In fact I wish my teenagers would take that lesson a bit more to heart.

Is going ahead as I type, as far as I'm aware. Hoping to be up & running next summer.

Well spotted Keef

Thankyou, Thankyou (bows). I just knew you lot would appreciate what a big deal such a seemingly small silly thing was. GSJ57 have Pm'd you to compare notes on good books for reluctant reader teen boys.

not trickery or bribery but the feeling that I've won a small battle in an ongoing war; To my distress & frustration my bright, intelligent & articulate 13yr old son has never, ever liked reading. He really couldn't do it until he was about 10 so for him it's never been a pleasure & he's never read a book for pleasure. I made a decision early on in the battle that I wouldn't force it but that I would keep alive his love of stories by reading to him as many nights as I could - and reading good books too. I kept it up and even up until the summer I was reading 'The Knife of never letting go' to him. He really enjoyed this book, so I bought him the second in the series - I read about half to him & he read the rest. So 'Yay - he read it himself for pleasure', but my big victory was last weekend in the bookshop that I had forced him to come into with me. He spotted the third book in this series and pleaded with me t buy it. I made a pretense of reluctance of the 'well maybe, but you'll have to tidy your bedroom if I buy it for you' type whilst trying not to grab it from his hands and run to the counter with it. Once we left the bookshop he asked if he could go home ahead of me (we were on bikes) so that he could start reading his book. He did (with the book tucked down the back of his trousers) and by the time I got home he was 2 chapters in and he read the whole thing in 2 days. I can't tell you how close to tears I was in that bookshop. Pathetic I know, & I'm not expecting miracles, but now he knows he can read for pleasure & to a poor reader that's a massive leap. It really feels like a triumph of hope & perseverance. My small triumph, but I hope you don't mind that I shared it with you?

If it's St Mary's Paddington the healthcare commission report classed the maternity unit it as poor performing. They graded it as below average on Women?s view of cleanliness of delivery and postnatal areas, & Quality of support in caring for the baby after discharge, and average on quality of Postnatal care of women and babies. By contrast Kings was fair performing & scored the same for cleanliness. average for quality of support after discharge, & above average on quality of postnatal care. Tommies did best of all, being rated as Better performing. With above average cleanliness, & average for quality of support & quality of postnatal care.