sillywoman

edited due to common sense alert!

Thanks dancet, My daughter's 15 & son is 13. Both these muggings took place in places they hang out at a lot. I'll give them both a heads up.

My daughter has just come down to tell me about this - she heard it on Capital Radio. I feel very upset this tragedy, both for the family of the young man, and for our community (which is generally such a lovely, safe place to live). So sad.:(

Initially I hated this thread with a passion - mainly due to shame it has to be said. I just loathe, loathe, loathe cleaning. It's a waste of good reading time. But, I keep finding myself coming back to it again & again. I just can't 'do' flylady. She's too much for me; I can't get up & get dressed, that's just not the right way for me to start my day, & I have other stuff (as some of you know!) that is more important than cleaning a room each day. However I can tell you ladies that you've shamed me into cleaning out my cleaning cupboard (if that makes sense) and so now I have all my crucial cleaning equipment in one handy carry box that is easy to move from room to room and handily stored under the kitchen sink. This week I have also embaced the clean sink ethos, and baby oil (it's wonderful), and done the thing of giving the bathroom sink a clean round before going to bed (was that your suggestion Molly?). So Thankyou ED ladies for helping put a bit of sparkle back into my cleaning. Does anyone know how to clean old silver - I found some at the back of the cupboard under the sink when I was cleaning it out! Also tried the meatballs & tagiatelle from someone's meal planner (littleEDfamily possibly?) - Yum.

I'll come to any of them; you know me - always ready to eat cake & talk about labour/birth & babies ;-). So, if you've just had a baby send me your other half's 'back to work' date & I'll be there, cake in hand! Sound like we could do a joint one for Ruth_B & mrs f.

Another vote for Thule, looks great, doesn't seem to slow us - & no added noise at all (on a Seat Alhambra).

You know, I've been mulling over some of the posts on this thread - specifically the ones about lack of postnatal support within our extended communities. I was thinking that we have the baby-shower idea (I know, I know fun or nasty, commercial American import?) all wrong: It should be after the birth. It should only be women who've already had babies (so that they can speak freely without fear of freaking out those who haven't). A load of Mums should come around on the day that Dad goes back to work - for example, they should all bring food and sit around all day discussing the realities of labour and birth and drinking tea/coffee & eating cake. This might help new Mum normalise crappy labour (or lovely labour if you're lucky) and crappy, sore breastfeeding (or lovely breastfeeding if you're lucky ;-)), and crappy crying (Mum and/or baby) and just generally familiarise new Mum with the new world she finds herself in. That's what a baby shower should be.

Or, try doing face stroking on her. Get her at a calm & peaceful time. Lay her down on the sofa or with her head in your lap and get her to close her eyes and you stroke her face whilst telling her a story. After you've done it a couple of times so she's used to it & not scared. You can introduce someone putting eyedrops in. Just put one in the corners of her eye nearest her nose - she can keep her eye's closed but must keep her head still & keep listening to the story. Gradually the drops will work into her eyes. If it all sounds like too much faff, maybe try just wiping her eyes with cotton wool and cooled boiled water with a little salt in it? Or even cotton wool with eyedrop solution on it? It's a devil whatever though - especially as she's decided that eyedrops are evil and must be avoided at all costs - good luck Jamma.

I'm of Pickle's school of thought. For me it was a risk too far, so all mine had new mattresses for the moses basket & then the cotbed when they transferred into it. My understanding was that a mattress that has been used at all increases the risk of SIDS - the increase is exponential according to storage & previous use as Molly & Heidi say, but mattresses aren't too hard to come by, so it just seemed daft (to me) to take the chance. As Molly says - the choice is (like almost everything to do with raising babies) a personal one.

Make sure the wheels are either solid rubber, or pram tires or it's a sprung frame otherwise, if it has mclaren type wheels, you'll ruin your back pushing it around. The older & heavier child tends to sit at the front making the force needed to get up & down curbs & round corners - unless its got moveable wheels - much more than usual & so much more damaging. I speak from bitter experience :(

Ahem, only been once in 15 years with any of mine, & sensibleman took him anyway - now I know the fates will smite me for sharing that. Chins & head stuff does bleed a lot, if the cut is clean, hold it firmly together till it stops bleeding (usually a few minutes) then re-asses. Am sure my Nana's wisdom (she was a nurse) has saved me many a trip, that plus somekind of innate calm that descends on me in a crisis involving blood!

cotton wool & a couple of nappies - don't know about Tommies & Lewisham, but Kings LW doesn't seem to have cotton wool/ wipes anywhere within a mile radius! PN a different story, but you'll probably still be on the LW when baby does that first - very 'special' poo.

Bottle of water, speedo's maybe a clean T-shirt (forget the warm jumper - have you visited the labour ward?), toothbrush & bendy straws, bendy straws, bendy straws. Also you need to know exactly how you're getting her there, and when you get there which doors you're going in (are main doors shut out of hours? If so how do you get in?), & how to get from main entrance to Labour ward. Re food; they usually bring round 3 meals a day on labour ward, she may not want to eat, but you should always say 'yes' to the food offer as if she doesn't want it you can 'help' her eat it, but also have some good, high carb snacks for you. Sensibleman says: a small transistor radio with an ear piece - Me, I'm a bit :-S about that.

I turned into a Tiger on the birth of my first baby. I experiences all the disorientation, isolation (BIG-time) and loneliness that others have mentioned, but I was astounded by how fiercely protective I felt. I really did feel I was ready to kill anyone who harmed her in any way. I know it's a cliche, but it was quite an overwhelming feeling - I didn't feel I was myself at all. Agree with almost everything everyone else has said, particularly about it being an emotional rollercoaster for a few months, about not being 'me' for a long time after, and about staying in my jim-jams in the house (apart from the odd excursion) for about a month after. Our culture is not good at providing proper post-natal care or having appropriate social norms and expectations around it. Other cultures (ironically those usually those considered more 'primitive') have set 'rules' that are expected to be followed post-birth. Usually along the lines of 'Mum doesn't leave the house or do any work at all for a fortnight (or so) following the birth of baby and Mum is cared for by the women of her community. It makes me very sad that our society has moved so far away from this that we have lost it altogether. And the unrealistic expectations for postnatal recovery that the media avidly promotes just makes my blood boil - don't even get me started on Denise Van-Outenesque style 'look how so&so has regained her figure 3 days after birth' articles - Grrrrrr!

minder Wrote: ------------------------------------------------------- > Herne Hill United Reform Church, junction of > Denmark and Red Post Hill? A surprisingly attractive party space with a lovely garden too for running around & letting off steam (am thinking more the 4 year olds than the 13 year olds).

Yes, Saff & Fuschia - I've got badges. PM me with your address & I'll get the to you.I've been suprised how many people have remarked on mine. No one's linked it with the Forum yet though, they just like the badge!

Eh? @ Sophia_parker.

Do private schools have to fund their own lollipop people? I've wondered this about the ones at the Calton Ave/Townley Rd/ ED Grove junction. They are definitely only there during private school term time. If Alleyns. JAGS & JAPS pay for them - fair do's, but if they're funded by us then it seems a little wrong that the state school kids using these roads (Charter, Heber, Bessemer, DVI & DHJS) are left to fend for themselves at the beginning & end of term?

Am very much liking SMW or should it be SMWW? Will definitely adopt a moniker to reflect new status should I get through selection process & 3 years of training. Don't hold your breath! SW (And Thankyou very much indeed or the supportive posts, they've come at a particularly good time :))

I'm in tears at every baby too, & sometimes even before! I'm hoping to train as a Midwife in the near future - however will I manage?! Loved, loved, loved this weeks programme - especially after the trauma of last weeks screamer. A real relief.

Hmmm, there could be a business opportunity there . . . . (Message - I meant message) :)

Have just entered the Kafkaesque nightmare that is the Royalmail 'Helpline'. I googled it & got a webpage with a telephone number as the only contact option. The call cost ?1.38 but there wasn't anything else to do. I called it and a very brusque automated message told me they no longer use this number and gave me another to call. I called it (no indication of cost but it was an 0845 number) only to hear yet another - cheerier - automated massage welcoming me to 'The Royalmail magazine and business services' & asking me to press a number to indicate which magazine I wanted!! Aaarrgh. They did give an email address, so I've sent a howler. We'll see if it elicits any response at all. Re: the doormat thing, with East Dulwich post I've come to the conclusion that anything is possible.

Since the end of last year I've had 4 parcels, posted from different location in the UK that haven't been delivered. Does anyone know who to write to/contact to take this up with? It seems it's a particular problem with my local post so I'm interested to follow this up at a local level rather than further afield.

charlottep Wrote: ------------------------------------------------------- > informed personal choice has > to be paramount, and as long as we're motivated by > what we feel is best for our children then we're > doing a good job IMO. Very much agree with this sentiment, and feel that Fuschia et al are saying the something similar, but are very sensibly pointing out that it's crucial to understand the motivations behind the 'expert' opinions that so often colour a parents sense of what 'feel is best' thing to do. Often their motivations aren't all that they seem - as Fuschia's diligent research proves.

He's drinking too much & you know it. This is not normal and he's on a very slippery path. My inclination is to say get out now. I know that it's not easy & I'm not saying it has to be forever, but if he won't recognise it himself, or acknowledge the distress it causes you & the impact on your relationship of his drinking then maybe something as dramatic as leaving him might just force him to face up to the reality of his drinking. You've asked him to get help, but he's in denial. If you stay you will be forced to become a person you don't like - anxious and nagging. he won't have to face anything as you'll be holding his 'family' together for thus leaving him free to kid himself that he's OK. My first husband drank to similar extent, I also had an alcoholic father so I understand a little of where you're coming from. Tell him you love him, you & your son are still his family, and when he chooses to acknowledge and tackle his alcohol misuse you'll be ready and waiting to rebuild your family relationship. I'm not a professional so apologies if I'm completely wrong in this, but I'm speaking from the heart. Trust your instincts and protect yourself and your son, make the life you want for him & let your DH join you when he's able.