sillywoman

Ooh, very interesting - for some reason I thought that Kingsdale had more passes than Charter last year? I must have got that wrong? Agree about Haberdasher Aske's lower results being interesting too.

new mother Wrote: ------------------------------------------------------- > > 2. their girls are cleverer than the average bear. > They aren't just hard working donkeys. They are > girls who would excel where-ever they went to > school. They are actually bright and anyone who > tries to explain it all away by saying they just > work hard is detracting unfairly from their innate > ability. Actually, from experience I would disagree with this. A couple of years ago we went through the secondary process and I witnessed first hand a couple of my daughters best friends get places at Jags, one I would describe as 'quite a clever girl', but nothing exceptional, the other was 'definitely mediocre' (as her academic performance all through primary school testified), but was intensively tutored from the end of year 4 to get through the private entrance exams. My eye's were truly opened to how the 'system' works.

Bayberry, I've emailed admin to request that consider your original post for removal. It's undoubtedly a tragedy for your family and I'm so sorry this happened to you but it's of no relevance to this this thread, and is in fact scaremongering of the worst order. Totally unnecessary and very unfair to OP. If you wish, maybe you could start your own thread about 'terrible things that can happen at Kings (or any other massive teaching hospital delivering over 6,000 babies a year)' as a way of allowing anyone who would like to to discuss your personal experience with Kings?

Lee Scoresby Wrote: > Genuine inquiry. After some crappy schooling, my > child needs and deserves a real stepping stone to > university. And a great many parents will > understand that. > Am really hoping you get some good replies Lee. Am trying very hard not to ask, but I am compelled - where was the 'crappy schooling'? Gulp (crosses fingers and sends a prayer to the gods of good local schools).

?80 a month??!!!!! Holy Cow - I'm definitely not letting my 14year old see this thread: we're more at the WOD end of the spectrum. Re 6yr old; mine gets 10p per week for each year of his life, so currently 60p. We did this for all ours up to secondary school when a more appropriate allowance was negotiated. Can see that maybe 25p per week, per year might be more useful for teaching about money management though.

fairylamb Wrote: ------------------------------------------------------- > If he still throws mud around the house and won't > eat vegetables aged 15 years not months I'd start > questioning your parenting skills (although > admitedly a bit late by then) :) Maybe review at > age 6! So I really am officially crap at this then? :'( Well believe me it's not from want of trying.

Mine are now well into their teens and I definitely feel like this. In fact the feeling is getting stronger as surely by now (after 14 years of daily reminders) they should remember the basics, such as saying 'please' and 'thankyou'? And that's just the tip of the iceberg. I'm really beginning to see the attractions of boarding school. There is a lovely period between about 6 and 11 I think. So hang on in there, it does get better - and then it gets worse again. How did I ever think I could raise children? (laughs hollowly).

Neighbour over the road says it was fab - she cried buckets - but her 10yr old daughter said there were some really quite scary bits in it. Might be worth bearing that in mind if you're considering taking your 6 year old James?

. . . . . and some people still wonder why kids & can cycle on the pavement?

Not me HH - I recognise those wobbly bits from the mirror in my room each morning! Right, must cut down on the ben&jerry's (especially as my last 'baby' is now 6!).

I think the idea behind breastfeeding cafe's is that you can get 1:1 help with any specific breastfeeding issues in a cafe setting. They aren't groups who meet in cafe's.

Ok; The Lanes aim to have your named midwife, with whom you have developed a relationship, or her 'second', deliver your baby wherever you decide to give birth, BUT . . . if they're short staffed then homebirths take priority. In this situation, you would go into labour, call your Lanes midwife who would then come and asses how far advanced your labour is. If you are in established labour (cervix 4cms dilated or more) then she will ask you how you feel, whether you want to carry on with your labour at home or go to hospital. If you want to go to Kings & they're short staffed, then they will see you safely into the hands of Kings medical professionals - either ambulance technicians if you chose that method of transfer to hospital, or Kings labour ward midwives if you chose to get yourselves to hospital. Then they may leave to attend someone else who is having a homebirth. If you chose to have continue your labour at home then they stay with you. If they're not short staffed then they stay with you wherever you have your baby. Also re 'are they good?'. The service they provide is as rare as hens teeth in the UK. Because it's on our doorstep we take it for granted but if you speak to anyone from anywhere else (with a few notable exceptions) they will be astounded at the service that you get the Lanes. I know that Fuschia (on this forum) didn't have a great start with the Lanes, and one or two others have found that the Lanes didn't work well for them, but on the whole 'good' doesn't even touch what they do. Just a note, it's not a 'birth centre' at Kings (yet - though it's in the pipeline). It's a Consultant led labour unit. There's quite a significant difference.

1st baby, from established labour (4cms dilation) 14hours; 2hrs pushing 2nd baby, as above 6.5hrs; 1hr pushing 3rd baby, as above 5.5hrs; 3 pushes 4th baby, as above 15.5hrs (:-S don't ask); 1 push but all bar the first preceded by about 12 hours (36hrs for 1st) of contractions before getting to 4cms. Bummer.

ClareC Wrote: ------------------------------------------------------- > The scan date is important for the Mughal scan as > there is a fairly small window. Ooh, A 'Mughal scan' - sounds fierce! Is this a new one? What is it?

I thought it was 3 hourly?

Actually ????, have found 'Lord of the Flies' quite helpful to keep in mind when dealing with my 3 boys.:)

Ah, Kim Kardashian, that well respected voice of reason and common-sense.:-S

This is out of my remit professionally, but as a Mum I'd say it doesn't sound like PND, rather a completely understandable emotional response to your current situation. It sounds like you enjoyed your maternity leave, & reading between the lines a bit you sound as though you found a more chilled out & relaxed Yorkie than your work persona demands. So it's completely understandable that you would feel angry & resentful at having to give up that lovely time to go back to work full time, and this on top of not enough sleep. You're trying to do 2 very different jobs fulltime. Bluntly, you're doing too much. To my completely untrained ear (eye?) it doesn't sound like you would benefit from medication, rather from getting more sleep and a frank conversation with your other half about how you feel and the fact that despite how you felt before you went back to work, now you're actually in it your work/life balance isn't suiting you at all. I don't know whether there's any scope for adjustments, 4 day week for you, part-time job for partner? But If he is going to be a stay at home Dad then he needs to take on the full responsibility for all that entails, including keeping the household chores ticking. It's not just keeping baby happy until you get home. Also, I think I'd be getting my partner to get up at 12 and 5, bring me the baby then settle baby back to sleep when feeding has finished (actually, on reflection, at age 1 waking at 12 and 5 for a feed could definitely be tweaked so that it's only once a night. Maybe a pre bedtime (your bedtime) dreamfeed, then another feed at 5 with partner settling to sleep, definitely not you.) This is a big time of transition for both you and your partner and you both need to acknowledge that to find a way of living as a family that meets all your needs you will both need to keep lines of communication wide open and be prepared to acknowledge when things aren't working as well as you hoped and to change things if you need to. My heart goes out to you Yorkie. You sound like a lovely Mum, and a highly emotionally intelligent woman. I'm hoping someone more qualified than me can come along soon to give you 'proper' advice, but in the meantime I didn't want your post to go unacknowledged. Please feel free to ignore all I've said if none of it works for you. SW

I wondered that too?

dulwichmum Wrote: ------------------------------------------------------- > the rules were changing the year after we were > looking for a school place for our first child, > and there was speculation that you would be able > to apply from anywhere if you attended church. I > wonder if that happened. yes it did. > > We would not have had a chance of getting in that > year by distance. My friends who live a stone's > throw from the centre of the village had big > problems as I said. That was probably 2005? Hmmm, probably depends year to year. We applied for a community place in the Sept 2008 entry & got in without problem on the first round. We live opposite ED Hospital - so some distance away.

barrybrains Wrote: ------------------------------------------------------- > sillywoman, is there any particular church you > have to regularly attend, or can it be any local > CofE church? Nah, any old CofE, actually I'm not even sure it has to be CofE - check, but I have a feeling it could be any faith? DM, you may have been outside the Parish boundary, but you won't have been outside the 'catchment' for DVI as there isn't one.

A bit alarmist DM? The catchment for the Hamlet is based on distance from the school and is affected by such things as how many siblings in any given years intake are allocated places etc.etc. So there's no definitive 'catchment' as such as it's a fluid thing, changing each year. Not sure where the "cuts streets in half" idea comes from. Most people who want their kids to go there do get a place eventually, just maybe not in the first round of offers. The catchment in the 6 years mine have attended has been much larger than is often suggested on this forum, with kids from Forest Hill to West Dulwich and on down to Camberwell attending. The Infants catchment is losely based on the parish boundary. You can apply for either a 'church' place, or a 'community' place. If you apply for a church place then you need to offer proof of the regular attendance of you and your child at your place of worship for the two years prior to your application. Regular meaning roughly fortnightly. If there are more application than places available then places are offered on a distance basis once the 'church' criteria has been met. If you apply for a 'community' place then it's based on distance from the school with siblings, special needs and cared for children having priority. However a lot of people don't apply as they imagine they won't get in when actually the catchment is quite large, certainly a lot larger than St J's & St C's is currently. There always seems to e such a lot of 'ooh, you'll never get your kids in there' talk about these two schools. In my experience it's a bit of an urban myth, & if it stops people applying to these lovely schools & missing out on places for their kids then that would be a great shame.

Fingers crossed for you F. SWx

A sensible, well thought out response here; http://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-1290442/BEL-MOONEY-How-sad-mothers-seen-sex-objects-breastfeed-child.html Help me, help me, I just can't help myself, I'm being sucked in, aaaaarrrgh!

Ooooohh noooo, I just can't face this one again. Still traumatised from 'mind-shop-gate'!