Saffron

Be sure to check your laundry detergent, regardless bio or not. It needs to say specifically that it's for delicate fabrics. I washed a "machine washable" wool cardigan in cold water on the handwash cycle, and it still shrank. Seriously, it was like for a Barbie doll when it came out of my machine! :( When I checked the detergent label, it said Not Suitable for Wool or Delicates. Argh!!! Now I use Ecover delicate laundry detergent on anything similar, including mixed fabrics like the carseat cover. Also, if you're not sure about putting it in your machine, try just soaking it overnight in a bucket of cold soapy water, rinse and dripdry the next day. Although Little Saff's carseat cover has come through the machine fine, cold wash w/ low spin. The thing I struggled the most with was getting the straps back into place. I think you need an engineering degree for that. xx

It's important to make a distinction between training and experience, because they are not the same thing. Experience is significant, but experience alone is not enough to be a specialist. A specialist is a specialist in his/her field because s/he has trained to be such. Someone who is truly an expert will have both training and experience. GF has to the best of my knowledge no training as a psychologist or a gynaecologist. While it's true that people often seek advice or information from a variety of sources (expert or not), GF is being singled-out b/c she published a book. I might ask my next door neighbour what she would do if postpartum intercourse made her symphysis pubis dysfunction more painful, and if her advice was interesting/reasonable, I might try to find some additional supporting literature on it. I wouldn't critise her personally if her advice was rubbish, BUT my next door neighbour hasn't published a book on it! When one publishes in a public arena as GF as done, one opens oneself to criticism. That is long and short of it. I don't see anything truly offensive in this thread. No one has said GF smells bad, or is stupid or ugly. This is all pretty lightweight stuff as far as discussions are concerned. (You should try the Drawing Room sometime!! ;-) ) xx

It is not illogical either to feel guilty or not to feel guilty. Different people will feel different ways for different reasons, and these feelings are all valid. The majority of Western women (and many men too I suspect) trying to balance work and motherhood, while often struggling with the budget too, are likely to feel stressed and/or guilty. If you don't feel either, then consider yourself a fortunate person and enjoy it. Equally, guilt doesn't have to be a negative emotion. You can harness the energy in your guilt and use it towards positive activities. xx

I remember very clearly my friend sent me a text right after Little Saff was born. It said, Welcome to motherhood! xx. Even then I thought it might as well have said Welcome to guilt for the rest of your life. Two+ years on, and it feels pretty much the same. I totally agree with tiddles. It seems like a damned-if-you-do, damned-if-you-don't scenario! Treehugger, it's really nice to hear from someone with older children too.

Hi, just had some other ideas re bubble baths... In the past, if the irritated skin was worst eg on the face & hands, you could put a heavy barrier cream on these areas before putting your LO in the bubble bath. You could also make up the bubbles in the sink or a laundry bucket, then just transfer the bubble lather to the bath in a few big handfuls. This would reduce the amount of bubble solution actually in the bath. Instead of a bubble bath, we occasionally let Little Saff play with shaving foam in the bath. I just buy the cheap one. If your LO has eczema or other skin problems, you could look for a foam specially designed for sensitive skin. A bit a science? Surfactants like sodium lauryl sulphate (SLS) are one of the ingredients that help bubbles to be foamy and lasting. Some recent research from the US has suggested that for some (not all) people SLS can be an irritant or can exacerbate eczema. (Sorry I don't have the reference to hand. I'm sure it's in Google Scholar.) Therefore I was suprised and annoyed to find that many skin creams for eczema and sensitive skin actually contain SLS! If your regular skin cream contains SLS, consider using and SLS-free cream on the night you do the bubble bath. This would minimize SLS exposure. Aveno does an SLS-free cream that we like and use, but there are others.

I use the Earth Friendly Baby brand of bubble bath for me and my daughter. Sainsbury's has it online, but I think lots of other places stock it too. It's actually very soothing IMHO. You don't have to use much to get lots of bubbles, and the bubbles really last. I think the occasional bubble bath is ok as long as you don't use too much soap, don't let your LO stay in too long, and always rinse your LO with clean water before getting out of the bath. Also, when my daughter has a bubble bath, I don't use any other soap or shampoo on her in that bath. The bubbles are enough. xx This one: http://www.google.co.uk/products/catalog?hl=en&qscrl=1&nord=1&rlz=1T4ADSA_enGB470GB470&q=earth+friendly+baby+products&bav=on.2,or.r_gc.r_pw.r_qf.,cf.osb&ion=1&biw=1441&bih=646&wrapid=tlif133175775482110&um=1&ie=UTF-8&tbm=shop&cid=3587150483340167229&sa=X&ei=uQJhT9-YGee_0QXbwsWjBw&ved=0CIIBEPICMAI#

Burbage Wrote: ------------------------------------------------------- > womanofdulwich Wrote: > -------------------------------------------------- > ----- > > Not in this case Voyageur-spellings are > countable > > nouns- but you are correct it could be the verb > > "spelling". > > Atticus and Voyageur are delightfully correct. > > "Spelling" is the gerund of a verb. You can, if > you wish, use it as a verbal noun, such as in "her > spelling is poor"; that is what gerunds are for. Grammar and insanity, indeed! Ending a sentence with a preposition, whatever next I ask you?! ;-)

Yes, take a photograph and report her. Follow her to her house and write down the address. Put the poo in a papersack through her letterbox, and leave her a little note saying, You left this behind on the pavement this morning.

Horniman Museum springs immediately to mind... http://www.horniman.ac.uk/

Ellie78 Wrote: ------------------------------------------------------- > on the same track... > > what's a good baby shower present? > > Or does this warrant a separate discussion? > > I don't want to spend loads of money (I don't have > it) and she doesn't know the sex.....(though I > prefer unisex baby clothes for the most part in > any case)... Although it's called a 'baby' shower, it's also about celebrating the mother-to-be. Consider giving a present for the mother herself at the baby shower. This could be something pregnancy/birth related, or just something nice for the lady herself... a pretty robe for the birth, nice organic skin cream, manicure voucher, etc. Then when the baby arrives, you can give a separate present to the baby. Best baby-related gifts we received were the practical ones. Toddler toys are nice too (Baby will grow sooo quickly!)

This is a brilliant book and an excellent investment. xx

If GF explicitly says always feed a hungry baby, or not, I don't know b/c I haven't read all her books. However, her CLB book does explicitly direct one to, "Follow the feeding times on the schedule,". She also explicitly states that on-demand feeding is the cause of colic, "These babies [with colic] all seem to have one thing in common: they are all being fed on demand." Taken together, some people interpret this to mean that feeding off schedule will cause colic. This is their reason for not feeding outside the scheduled times (from the people I have talked to about it). Perhaps many people disagree with her advice, or don't like it, because it is contradictory, incomplete, and confusing. Some people do like her advice or find it useful, and that's fine for them too. I'm not judging individuals' choices. I'm questioning the methodology as a practice in itself. Questioning is a fundamental part of growing as a parent and a person. In addition, I think that there are many ways that we can support each other as parents and as people without always having to agree with each others' decisions. What's wrong with a group for non-GF parents, be it for baby stuff or sex/relationship stuff? I'm sure there are GF groups too. There can be as many groups as there are schools of thought on parenting and relationships. Being part of one group doesn't to me mean that I couldn't support someone from another group if she was having problems.

Yes, have seen women not feeding their screaming and obviously hungry babies "because s/he isn't due a feed yet". :( In addition, according to La Leche League, the American Academy of Pediatrics, etc, crying itself is a late sign of hunger, ie babies are hungry and should be fed before they cry. Sorry to go off topic from the op - not wanting to debate, just wanting to be clear about what I've seen and read. My point re cc/cio was not whether or not GF was explicitely telling people to do cc/cio. My point was that she does use and endorese cc/cio, and that is why she is associated with it. I'm not critising the choices of individual parents. (Most parents are, I suspect, just trying the best they can to do a good job without going mad.) I'm questioning the validity and applicability of the methodology itself, and the real reasons behind why experts (or so-called experts) endorse, use, or recommend it.

I thought the problem was that too much fibre (or more correctly fibr-associated complexes) prevents iron from being effciently absorbed, nothing to do with calories? For example, you can very easily add calories to a high fibre meal by adding oil. If your baby loves toast, add butter or olive oil. Fibre-complexes shouldn't greatly affect the absorption of oil, provided we're not talking about ridculous amounts. The addition of Vit C helps iron to be absorbed, so adding a little orange juice or other C-rich food to a high iron meal will help negate the effect of fibre on iron absorption, as I understand it. Here are a couple of interestig examples... http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/2820048 http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/1311753 and also http://ukpmc.ac.uk/abstract/MED/2507689/reload=0;jsessionid=pHkJvySgyMCZK9SyKUtd.114

Belle Wrote: ------------------------------------------------------- > No, as I said I didn't mean to start a pro/anti > Gina debate - I found elements of her book useful > and incorporated them first time round, and I do > agree she is maligned unfairly in some cases (if > you read her book you see that she doesn't do the > whole crying out thing she's often associated > with, and in fact strongly says do not leave e.g > an overtired child crying/ do not leave a toddler > with fear of the dark in a dark room etc. ) Just to be clear, GF does use and promote her version of cc/cio. In her CLB book, she describes using her version of cc and cio on a 5.5 month old baby, where she describes leaving the baby alone and crying for over an hour.* This is 'cry-it-out'. Dr Christopher Green specifically designed 'controlled crying' as an alternative to cry-it-out.** His very specific method of controlled crying was tested on babies as young as 6 months, and it was not recommended for (a) babies under 6 months, or (b) for general use. It was a method to be used only when other approaches (and there are MANY) had failed. * G. Ford (1999) The Contented Little Baby Book. {pp 134-135} Random House UK. * C. Green (2001) New Toddler Taming. {pp 150-152} Random House UK. But back to the OP's topic, just wondering how GF would help new mums with sex? Would she for example make date charts for jiggy time, and expect you to put a star on them???? I'm actually curious to read her book, but slightly repulsed by what a waste of time it would be. I mean, I could be reading an acutal newspaper instead, such a rare treat these days. Can't even remember when I last sat down with a real Sunday paper and no one climbing on my head. If I wait long enough she might come out with a book for that too. 'GF: How to read a newspaper'... I don't know how to change the oil in my car either. Maybe I'll check with GF, she probably owns a car. ;-)

Oh, I just learned how to fold a paperboat! Pirates, ahoy!! http://wondertime.go.com/create-and-play/article/fold-a-paper-boat.html

Pickle Wrote: ------------------------------------------------------- > I don't really want to get into a GF debate, > however must say that nowhere in her book does it > say to not feed your baby if he/she seems hungry. > I followed her routines with my first 2 children, > both were BF, and in my daughter's case she never > took a bottle so was exclusively BF until 15 > months. So it's not all doom and gloom for > breastfeeding if you have babies in a routine :) I wouldn't dispute that, and I know another mother who successfully breastfood two children using GF routines. What makes me sad are the women who fail to recognize the early signs of hunger in their children b/c they expect to feed them only as per the schedule.

hellosailor Wrote: ------------------------------------------------------- > Otta and Saffron, the quote you are attributing to > me is not actually my post but somebody else's! > Just sayin'! xx Yes, sorry that's confusing! Wasn't meant to be as such. I've re-edited (corectly, I hope) for the cut and paste error!!.xx

Otta Wrote: ------------------------------------------------------- reren Wrote: ------------------------------------------------------- >> Although pretty strongly the opposite end of the >> spectrum from gina in terms of controlled crying >> etc - I have always disliked the dismissal of gina >> as being unable to offer advice because she isnt a >> parent herself - it feels a bit clubby to me - you >> arent part of our mums club therefore we dont have >> to listen to you. > I certainly wouldn't dismiss a person's advise on > many areas of child care, because they were not a > parent themselves. > > However, when it comes to talking about dealing > with a newborn, I do think it's fair to question > her. She may well have looked after a million > babies... Yes, highly questionable. Her PR website says there was no formal qualification for "maternity nurse" during the time she trained (...as a nurse?), but that she has looked after over 300 babies, over 12 years. Well it's hardly lifetime is it? Twelve years is nothing in academic terms. Many certified behavioural studies of longterm outcomes would take at least that long! As well she is neither a psychologist nor an ob-gyn. In short, if a person tried to use GF as a reference on a serious piece of academic work, s/he would be a laughing stock. If anyone likes GF or finds her methods useful, fair enough. I'm not criticizing individual parents. But GF is skating on thin ice scientifically. Even where she's given them her own twist, the behavioural methods she cites were developed by other people, and many of them are highly disputed within the academic community. Is that the sound of cracking ice I hear?

Yak Wrote: ------------------------------------------------------- > I think "better schools" is quite often code for > "not living in an overpriced shoebox of a house > and being woken by sirens in the middle of the > night". I can quite understand people wanting to > move for a whole host of reasons (including > shoeboxes and sirens), but the emphasis on it > being solely for the children's education seems, > well, a little skewed to me. Yes, totally agree. Is it that moving involves a lot a sacrifice, and people don't feel they would do it just for themselves. So, when children come along, parents would then be willing to make the leap, in the name of "better schools" (whatever that means to them personally)?

Yes, that's a very good point. I like the way you word it! To the best of my understanding, the gist of the R4 discussion and other reports I've read, is that schools do matter but not much. I then find myself asking, Why do people get so wound up about schools? Is it b/c schools are perceived (rightly or wrongly) as being inextricably linked to socio-economic environment?

I think that's the same one posted on the schools thread the in the Drawing Room. Yes, very interesting!

I agree with Sunbob, re the yoga. I didn't specifically do pregnancy yoga, but I have done different forms of yoga over the years. Yoga helps you engage with your body and your breathing. It can help you visualize pain in ways that are productive instead of frightening, and this helps makes the pain endurable rather than unbearable. I would also really highly recommend antenatal acupncture. Giles Davies and Ella Keepax are both excellent. Do a search with their names. They have numerous recommendations on the Forum. And finally, if you haven't looked into this, it's worth reading up:http://www.epi-no.co.uk/ . I just did manual massage. I didn't know about EpiNo, or I would have tried it! I had a straightforward vaginal birth of a relatively large baby, and NO STITCHES!

Yup. Not everyone's circustance, but I've seen that in one case. And this was the one family that was not initially happy with their new environment post-move. They were probably the family that was the best off, just trying to improve what they had. The other 2 families were not all in good circumstances and are now much, much happier, parents and children alike.

Hahaha! Sorry, Hubbie, you'll have to turn off the football now. GF says it's sexy time.