Saffron

prickle Wrote: ------------------------------------------------------- > Saffron: "Interesting that people's main concerns > are the benefits payments to the parent, and not > the child's future. If moving for a better school, > into a better environment, could lift the child > into better life circumstances, then the advantage > conferred to the child would be life long. This > could mean that the child would be more likely to > hold longterm full time employment as an adult and > be less likely to seek governmental financial > support as an adult." > > I think you make a major assumption that somehow > schools outside London are better. Not so says > Ofsted. > Actually, the statement doesn't mention London at all, and I do agree that there are good (and no so good) schools to be found everywhere. You're right that school isn't everything. Environment is important too, and I think the two would always have to be examined together. Also, in some people's eyes good is not equal to right, where schools are concerned. (Crazy but true, not making this up!) Of the 3 families I know that have moved, their children were all under 5 years old. They weren't affect by the friendship issues for the children, but everyone's different. Although one of the parents did say that she missed her own friends, and the new location wasn't initially as nice as she'd expected. As you say, grass always greener etc.

I wouldn't consider doing it personally b/c I have been working very hard for a long time in my area of interest to get to where I am now (and I'm fortunate that my department would go out on a limb to keep me!), but it can and does happen. I've known 3 families that have successfully moved houses (and 1 more that is considering it), all of them out of London to varying distances, so they could get what they felt was the right school in the right environment. And it wasn't always private/independent schools for which they were aiming. Obviously the hypothetical scenario as I've given it is an extreme one; however, all 3 of the families who have done this already, have at some point claimed some form of government financial benefit. (And they all did eventually find some form of employment.) Re JSA: Directgov says that a person can claim some forms of JSA even if the individual has resigned voluntarily. "If you have voluntarily quit without good reason, your Jobcentre Plus can delay your Jobseeker's Allowance. ... If you can't claim Jobseeker's Allowance, you may still be able to claim a hardship payment, which is a reduced amount of Jobseeker's Allowance." http://www.direct.gov.uk/en/MoneyTaxAndBenefits/BenefitsTaxCreditsAndOtherSupport/index.htm Interesting that people's main concerns are the benefits payments to the parent, and not the child's future. If moving for a better school, into a better environment, could lift the child into better life circumstances, then the advantage conferred to the child would be life long. This could mean that the child would be more likely to hold longterm full time employment as an adult and be less likely to seek governmental financial support as an adult. A recent Panorama program (Panorama: The Cost of Raising Britain) highlighted the differences between British and Norwegian attitudes towards taxes and benefits. Nursery fees are capped in Norway, where the childcare system is heavily subsidised by the goverment, allowing more women to enter the workforce and benefitting the economy as a whole. Childless Norwegian couples do not resent their taxes being used to this purpose b/c they recognise the overall societal benefit. http://www.bbc.co.uk/iplayer/episode/b01cz4bx/Panorama_The_Cost_of_Raising_Britain/ Does supporting people to move house and attain betterment for their children help them to break free of low income cycles? If so then that's a good thing. But how does this apply to middle income families? Should they not have the same support? How would you draw the line? Well, I certainly don't have all the answers, but it's great food for thought, Forumites! :)

Yes, the point about pressure on the child is a good one. And what if your child hated the school after a couple of years?! Of course, if you're on the margins of society financially, what do you stand to lose otherwise? Think of someone moving from inner-city conditions, perhaps to a location further afield. In that case, you might be a good role model if you brought your child to a better environment.

So that's just JSA, no? You could still receive delayed JSA harship payment. What about council tax benefit, income support, child benefit? Taken that you're not working, you don't have to pay childcare fees, so you don't have that cost about which to worry. Is it worth it, and would you do it if you were convinced it was the right decision for your child?

That's an interesting point, re intent. If the intent is to work again, but no jobs in your field are immediately available in the new location, how does that stack up in the government's eyes as far as benefits are concerned? Would that only be unemployment benefit? Jobseekers allowance? Or would intent affect other benefits, eg housing or child benefits?

Beagle Wrote: ------------------------------------------------------- > I won't feel bad about it as without > ceebeebies there would be no clean floors or > dinner. Amen.

If getting your child into the "right" school meant moving house and giving up your job with no immediate prospect of a new job in the new location, would you move house and go on benefits to get your child into the right school? We all know economic times are tough, and with the high cost of childcare, from some people's financial point of view it hardly makes sense to work compared to going on government benefits. And, of course we've probably all known people who moved house to get their child into the school they felt was right for them. But if moving = no job, just how far would you be willing to push it? Is this the right/good use of benefits? (Consider that top schooling might confer a life-long advantage for the child?) (Edited to say the scenario is not mine personally. I'm going back to KCL the second my postdoc grant comes through, come hell or high water!)

madmum Wrote: ------------------------------------------------------- > Does she recomend sexy time lighting, curtains > half open or full balck out should we adopt the > controlled crying technique in fore play??? > Hmm now I think this could actually be turned to our advantage. The next time Hubbies are really up for, as Ruth so eloquently says, gettin' jiggy wit'it, but we've just had a day of Baby crying / Toddler tantruming / never-ending-laundry / sobbing in our lattes after just 3 hours sleep / premenstrual migraine... let's tell our hubbies (a la GF) that they can go 'self soothe' in dark room by themselves. ;-)

But seriously... if there was a prize for knowing all the CeeBeeBies songs, I could win it! We could definitely watch less television, but saying that, my toddler has learned a lot of interesting things from television. It's not just about how much television your children watch, it's about making sure that it's age appropriate. http://www.cbsnews.com/8301-504763_162-20104870-10391704.html

How long is a piece of string?

Ah, now that you know schools like to have a coucil approval, could you get Southwark involved? This might up your chances of getting more school to join in the event. Also, might be better to post info or call to see which schools would be receptive and which not. Schools get asked to do a lot of charity events, so they have to be selective. I'm sure if your event really stands out, then you can get some interest. Have an open mind, but a thick skin!

http://www.yellowmoon.org.uk/ Not cheap, but very interesting, lots of stuff. I really like their products. I heard the ? shop in Lewisham is good for stickers but haven't been recently. The Mister Maker range from MotherCare looks promising. They do a Bumper Craft Box. http://www.mothercare.com/Mister-Maker-Bumper-Craft-Box/dp/B004QB50MM Little Saff and I save the boxes from catfood sachets and turn them into all sorts of things, like treasure boxes etc. I also saved 10 1L milk cartons, and we're going to turn them into bowling pins! Oh, also check out the Arts, Crafts, and Books section on the Myriad website. A lot of the stuff is for 4+ years, but you could adapt it down to younger. http://www.myriadonline.co.uk/natural-crafts-and-craft-materials.php

Hi, Kamath. I'm so sorry to hear you're having a rough time. If you find it difficult to get out with a toddler in tow, Jill Dye (07816 136 477) is a certified lactation consultant who can come to you. She's not cheap, but it's money well spent. I originally saw her on a recommendation from forumite Pickle, and I know she has helped a lot of others too. Have you tried b/fing in the bath? This can be soothing for you and Baby, and fun for Toddler too. The warm water might help Baby with the wind/pooh issue. Little Saff used to pull at my nipple a lot too when she needed a pooh/burp. Husband was always better at winding her. He just did a couple of hard thumps instead of gentle patting. The tiger-in-a-tree postion helped too: Baby's head in your elbow, facing down, belly supported on your arm. Baby's arms and legs hang over your arm. It looks like a tiger sleeping on a tree branch, hence the name.

It sounds like you're doing all the right things. I had a similar experience. Make sure you're not holding Baby too high. Your shoulders be back and relaxed. Your elbows should be down. I mention this b/c even subtly adjusting your b/fing position can improve the strain on your back and shoulders. Muscle strain in these areas is weirdly sometime felt as general pain in the breast tissue. This type of pain is called "referred" pain, and it can be improved dramatically with good positioning. A lactation consultant was able very subtly to repostion Little Saff for me (literally she moved her less than 1 cm!). Sometimes it's hard to see for yourself how you need to repostion. You should be able to get some help from b/fing cafe. There are also lots of recommendations for good lac consultants on the Forum. I also found that LilyPadz were far better than any of the other nipple pads. You can buy them online: http://www.nctshop.co.uk/LilyPadz-Breast-Pads-1-pair/productinfo/2019/ I used to use them with a tiny bit of Lansinoh, wash with a drop of Ecover. I second seeing your GP if feverish feeling gets worse. Some types of antibiotics are ok for b/fing too. If it gets really bad, go to A&E. Have you tried b/fing in the bathtub? This can be very soothing for mother and baby. It could be quite entertaining for a toddler too. You can make your toddler feel welcome and needed by having him help with towels, etc. I think my engorement lasted ~2 wks, with the worst of it being the first 10 days. I found that expressing just 10-20mL or so by hand before a feed helped the latch and didn't affect supply. Hang in there. xx

What time of day are you expressing? Some women have a better milk letdown at different times of day. I think probably forumites Pickle or Fuschia would know more. Also, expressing milk does get a bit better as you get more practice at it. Can you take your daughter to university with you? I took my daughter (~3 months old) to meetings with my senior tutors and head of dept. They were very good about it. Hope it all gets easier for you very soon. xx

Hahaha I love this Forum! Yes, would have looked better if she'd simply replied with her own side of the story!! Would be soooo funny if her letter went viral (teehee). Hey is there a FB site for it yet? ;-)

The longer you can hold off giving formula milk, the better it will be for your baby. Adding formula milk will change Baby's digestion, and can cause related problems like wind etc. I agree with others, if breastfeeding is going fine, keep it up! (tu) :) You're doing brilliant, and it will get easier!! I'm sure there must be some Forum mums who would join you on a breastfeeding outing somewhere local if you need support in public. (I'm not in SE22 anymore, so probably not your nearest, otherwise would be happy to join you at a cafe any time. My little girl is 2+ years and we still do a bit a breastfeeding, though usually not in public anymore. Now she's more interested in running around causing friendly havoc.) I first breastfed my daughter in public at ~2 weeks old, at the McD's in Peckham while we were flat hunting. Knowing that we had a newborn, our landlady had just told us out-of-the-blue that we had a month to move out, despite previous assurance that we'd have the property another 6mo at least! Her cellar flooded the day before we moved out, and her boiler broke the day after. Instant karma? Oh, also, if you have a ringsling or similar, it can make breastfeeding in public much easier. There's no mucking about getting the buggy in and out of doorways. Most babies LOVE to sleep in a sling, and with a bit of practice you can actually feed your baby w/out taking the sling off. There are some groups that meet to do sling swaps and try-on sessions. I can't remember when/where. Does anyone else know?

Uh-oh, time to rejig the window suckercups on the blackout blind if anyone expects to sleep past 5AM!

Brilliant post, GinaG3! I do 90% of our shopping online. The exceptions are only if we have an immediate need for something, and then we use our local shops. Plus, husband always buys his own beer (no way am I hauling bottles of ale up to our first floor flat -- the milk is heavy enough!). When we lived on Barry Road a couple of years ago, the service from Sainsburys wasn't great. Since moving to SE4, I think we get deliveries from a different depot maybe, b/c the service is much better. I've tried Tesco and others, but Sainsburys is the only one that always has the right flavours of catfood in stock. We probably do ?10-20/wk in catfood for 2 cats. It has to be the right flavours, or it's left uneaten and gets thrown away. The Siamese isn't fussy and will eat almost anything. It's our Himmie rescue cat who is fickle and has serious food issues (*makes rolling eyes expression* I know, I know... a cat with food issues?) from her previous owners underfeeding her quite severely. So, to make a long story short, we always buy the food she likes. On that note, has anyone thought of bulk buying catfood? How much can you save? We don't have a lot of storage space (and also no transport), but I'd be interested in joining someone else in a bulk buy if the savings were decent.

...and the Scandinavian (Norwegian?) nursery featured on Panorama takes the children overnight at the nursery once a month, so parents can have a night to themselves!

Did anyone see 'Panorama: The Cost of Raising Britain'? It's still on the BBC iPlayer, I think. It was very interesting. We are considering childcare options for Little Saff. My grey hairs are multiplying just thinking about the cost. The living wage for London is now around ?8.50/hr. I would expect to pay ?10-12 for an experienced nanny.

Dorothy Wrote: ------------------------------------------------------- > Oh I'm completely confused now - I thought the > proposed Steiner school was going to be a > secondary. Where did I get that idea from? There has been a lot of discussion on the Steiner thread about the academic outcomes for Steiner-Waldorf educated students as far as GCSEs etc are concerned. However, the proposal for the Steiner free-school appears to be for a primanry school.

The GCSEs/A-level system isn't necessarily the best one for all students anyway. Highly academically inclined students would do better in the International Baccalaureate system perhaps. http://www.humphrys-education.com/index.php/education/british-system-vs-ib I'm curious how the proposed European Portfolio Certificate for Waldorf-Steiner will compare to the IB system?

There isn't any intrinsic reason that mixing milk from different days would cause vomitting, proving good food hygiene was observed to reduce the chance of bacteria multiplying in the milk. That being said, breastmilk is fairly hardy stuff, in that the antibodies and other immune elements in the milk actually help to deter bacteria. The vomitting was most likely not related to the milk at all. It sounds like it was just a strange coincidence. I'd agree it was a fluke.

Spring-loaded gates help keep dogs out of playgrounds too.