Saffron

new mother Wrote: ------------------------------------------------------- > As a general proposition, children should not get > seats when unrelated adults stand. I would agree with that if the children were older, eg 6 and 11 yo standing together. Three is too young to stand, and 8 is too young to leave with the buggy. Safest is for 3 and 8 yo both to sit. Adult stands with the buggy.

Fuschia Wrote: ------------------------------------------------------- > new mother Wrote: > -------------------------------------------------- > ----- > > As a general proposition, children should not > get > > seats when unrelated adults stand. Therefore I > Get > > ona bus, withtwo children, I sit, one goes on > knee > > and one stands. I would never take a seat for > the > > standing > > > > I couldn't really have sat near the front and left > thd baby I'm the buggy by the doors, nor easily > kept hold of the toddler if she had stood by me on > the crowded bus by the door > > My query isn't really so much what I should have > done originally, but what I should have said to > the man when he complained... Think I would have told him to bog off, maybe phrased more elegantly. x

Hmm I can think of lots of things I would like to say (none of the at all nice), but in all actuality I would probably have just stood there agape, totally affronted at his comment. The 'special seats' are intended for children as much as for the elderly, disabled, or pregnant etc. Children are vulnerable on crowed buses b/c of their small stature. They can be easily knocked about and caught off balance among adult passengers. While boarding a crowded train by myself at Waterloo East a few wks ago, I had to ask people to please move down the carriage as I struggled to enter. This was despite there being plenty of room further down the carriage aisle. There was some slight grumbling and pushing and shuffling. When people did finally shift up, the sea of adults parted enough to show a poor little boy, maybe 4 yo, squashed up against his mother who was also standing. You would not have known he was there even if you were standing just 2 persons away from her. He could have been easily injured in the adult crush or knocked with a heavy bag b/c people were not aware he was there. If I had been sitting, I would have given the little boy my seat. I'm not very good at telling people off publicly, but maybe I'm getting tougher. At the haem clinic last month, been waiting 1.5 hours with Little Saff. The buggy was carefully parked in the place it would least impeded the follow of human traffick, wheelchairs etc. An extremely fat woman with a stick walked in to the clinic. There was actually plenty of room for her to get round my buggy despite her considerale girth. However, she felt I should move the buggy for her. But instead of just asking me politely to move the buggy, she started making disparaging comments not quite under her breath to other patients about my buggy parking. She suggested, still not to my face (!) that I should park the buggy on the other side. I had a stern but reasonable snap at her then. I told her to her face, loudly and somewhat irritably that I could not park the buggy on the other side, b/c it would then be obstructing a fire extinquisher and the doors to the outpatient ward! But being by then completely p1ssed off, I also told her quite nastily that I didn't bring the buggy for fun, that I didn't have a choice, that I had to bring the buggy and my daughter with me. I did not offer to move the buggy, and she didn't say anything else. An able-bodied man in the front row of seats then gave her his seat. Thankfully it was several seats away from me and Little Saff.

Yes, Moos, that sounds like classic NTs, ie no memory of the event. As you say, he's a little young for reason and understanding, so difficult to talk to him about it. And maybe he'll outgrow them soon. I only mention my situation b/c sometimes more serious problems get brushed off as NTs. For example, I have heard of nocturnal epilesy which is rare, being misdiagnosed as NTs. You might want to think about reassessing every 6-12 months to see if he's better/worse/no change. I agree with ParentingWorkshop about waking your LO *before* the NT starts. I have heard from others that this is very effective.

That's a very good website. Although, I do disagree somewhat with one piece of advice, "It's best not to discuss a night terror the following day as it might make your child feel worried. If your child does raise the subject though, simply offer reassurance." Your LO is only 4, so may be too young to have a conversation with about the previous night. However, if you can talk to your child about it, I think you should. For years my parents thought I had night terrors, but no one ever talked to me about it, even though I remembered everything upsetting from the night before, and I had episodes several times a week. As a child, b/c no one talked to me about it, I thought I wasn't supposed to talk about it. As it turns out, I wasn't having night terrors. I was having panic attacks in my sleep, which were waking me up. And when I woke up the panic attack continued. No one realised that the problem was anxiety/panic attacks, not night terrors. Even in children CBT can help control anxity/panic. If only someone had talked to me about what was happening, we could have worked on some effective CBT routines to help me through the nights. (And it wasn't just me it was hard for... imagine my poor mother getting up in the night for all those years!) Hope things are better for you soon. xx

Hi Yak, Mixing traditional spoon feeding with offering lots of finger foods is not, strictly speaking, baby-led weaning. When people say they did a mix of BLW and traditional weaning, what they usually mean is that they did spoon feeding and also offered lots of finger foods. Offering babies finger foods is very good for them, whether in the context of BLW, or as part of spoon-fed weaning. In other words, it won't confuse a spoon-fed baby to offer him/her finger foods. Under 1 yo, food is more for fun than any thing, and most babies love to play with their food! The main thing about weaning is that it should be fun for parent and baby.

Hi Cazbee- My father --now in his early 70s-- was treated for an enlarged precancerous prostate several years ago. This condition becomes increasing common with age. Most men, if they live long enough, will eventually have a physiological enlargement of the prostate. This may or may not present other problems, as it did in my father's case. There are now lots of treatments available for precancerous/cancerous prostate. Was it the GP who diagnosed the condition? I think your father needs to request an immediate referral to a specialist, if he is not already seeing someone. Does your father have private insurance, or is he willing to pay cash for private treatment? I'm sure the NHS has excellent treatments for prostate conditions (don't know personally b/c my father lives in the States), but going private means that a single specialist consultant will 'own' the case, rather than getting bumped around various jr consultants as very often happens on the NHS (and yes, I do know that from my own personal experience). There's nothing wrong with seeing jr consultants of course. At your father's age though, he might feel more comfortable always seeing the same person. I hope you'll get some brilliant recommendations off the Forum. If not, do speak to your own GP, NHS direct, or Prostate Cancer Support for advice ( http://www.prostatecancersupport.co.uk/ ). For my father, the combined outcome of surgery and drug treatment was very effective. He is now virtually symptom free and no sign of cancer. xx

I used to be an enthusiatic horse rider and trail leader... haven't ridden much since 2005, not even been in the saddle since 2009. My postgraduate career ate up all my time, and Little Saff has taken a lion's chunk out of my budget. These days the closest I get to a horse is longingly to watch the police horses clip-clopping down the street. I'm looking forward to the day when Little Saff is old enough to take mother-daughter riding lessons with me. Although, by then, I'm sure she'll quickly surpass me!

Yes that's true. I have video evidence of Little Saff eating catfood and photos of her after covering herself with an entire pot of Sudocrem. Catfood episode: I thought was very funny; husband not so amused... his sense of humour needing some adjusting too. Sudocrem episode: Not so funny at the time, but hilarious in retrospective (even husband agrees).

Steiner School in Streatham has an outdoor stay'n'play group on Tuesdays, I think. Has anyone been to this? I heard there is a lot of nice space for running around.

One of the happy things I remember most about my pregnancy was how much my husband and I laughed. My husand has never laughed so much with me as when I was pregnant. When I say I like a man with a sense of humour, I mean as much someone who is funny, as who thinks I'm funny too. But the Baby killed my sense of humour. With sleepless nights and endless hours alone feeding and rocking and watching daytime tele, sense of humour was the first thing to go after Little Saff was born. I wasn't funny anymore. Worse still, I didn't find anything else funny anymore. The bottom had dropped out of my supply of funny. It's been a year-and-a-half now, and I finally feel like my 'funny levels' are creeping back towards normal. I might never be as funny as I was when I was pregnant (I know I'll never be as well-rested!), but at least I feel more like the world might be laughing with me again, instead of at me!! Did the Baby kill your sense of humour too? How long did it take to get it back? :)

In retrospect, I wish I had taken a baby sling in the hospital bag. I was only in one night, but I didn't want to leave my baby in that plastic hospital babycot every time I had to get up to go to the toilet. Also, reading between the lines from something my midwife said, if you're feeling well and not waiting for a 'script from the consultant etc, you can discharge yourself. Basically you just leave. It's a hospital, not a prison. I waited about an hour for my discharge. It seemed like forever!

Payrates for baby sitting vary tremendously. I generally pay a couple pounds above minimum wage, ?8-10 depending. I would pay more for someone with more experience, and I would pay more if I expected the baby sitter to cook lunch or take Baby out etc. I would expect to pay quite a bit more for over night or late night baby sitting. If the sitter is to look after more than one child, I would also pay more. Hope that helps. x

Stretching of the skin in pregnancy causes scarring in the skin. There are very few topical treatments with any proven effect either as prophylactics or as post-treatment. Even when the muscle is toned and fat reduced by exercise, the skin, ligaments and tendons still need a long time to recover. Exercises like yoga and pilates do seem to encourage repair in the ligaments and tendons if you are persistent. Anecdotally, my friend who is in her mid 40s (had her 2 babies mid 20s) and does lots of yoga says she has a better stomach now than she did at 20! (She also recently tried to have an IUD fitted, and the nurse couldn't place it b/c her cervix is too tight. The nurse said my friend now has a pelvic floor like someone who never had kids!!) Laser or IPL treatment can improve skin but are very expensive. Recently I was reading about 'derma roller'. I read that this is useful for treating scars including stretch marks. It is also cheaper than laser/IPL treatment. I haven't tried it yet, but a beauty therapist friend of mine says results are good. She says start treating stretch marks as soon as they have settled down a bit, i.e. not red and angry-looking anymore. I would guess this type of treatment might be helpful for loose or crepey looking skin too. xx

'humans' ;-)

Some cats just have it in their personalities to be jumpers. We have one cat who jumps and climbs on everything. The other is a slinker who rarely jumps on anything higher than a sofa. Waterpistols do work, but you need to be very consistent, which is difficult if you have a baby or small child. Adding a little vinegar to the waterpistol is particularly effective. The smell evapourates after a few minutes. Now that Little Saff is starting to talk, she tells our cat very authoritatively to 'Get down!' It's to no avail if our backs are turned however, Bad Kitty will always go for the uncovered butter/chicken/broccoli. I agree with Zeban. You do have to cover everything. You also need to be careful that your cat is not stealing bites of any food with alliums in it. That's onions, garlic leeks, shallots, chives etc. These plants are toxic to cats, even if the food in question has been cooked. I'll have to look it up, I think it's an effect on red blood cell metabolism. A small amount would not be harmful as a one off. It's cumulative ingestions, or a single large serving that would be bad news for Kitty. I don't think locking Kitties out for a bit is a big deal. You can even try to use it as reinforcement for the bad behaviour. When you start cooking, give Kitty one chance to behave and stay off the worktop. Then it's out in his kitty bum! xx

We generally try to split tasks equally, then spend equal amounts of time accusing the other of not holding up his/her end! ;-)

Small piece of antique bijou? A jewelry box or champagne glass with her name engraved? Minispa day for the two of you, or for her and a mate if you're not the spa type? Rainbow roses? Take her shopping for a fab birthday dress, or an original piece of artwork? Monogramed bathrobe and slippers, or monogramed silk throw pillows for her bed? I'm sure she'll like whatever you get her b/c it came from you. :)

It's always upsetting when someone loses a baby, so it's completely understandable that you feel more apprehensive with your pregnancy. Perhaps if you talk to the midwives about it, you could have a few extra appointments throughout your pregnancy? Then you would be able to hear the heartbeat and discuss any immediate concerns. xx

Unless you are a trained clinician using a hospital-grade monitor, what you detect as the foetal heartbeat may in fact be the placental heartbeat. The placenta may continue to give a strong heartbeat even if the foetus is in difficulties. As others have said, a home foetal heart monitor can be a bit of fun, but if you have real concerns over your pregnancy, you need to see a midwife or doctor immediately.

Yes, it could be heat rash. It could also be viral, even if Baby doesn't have a fever. In either case it should resolve on its own. It could also be the start of eczema, although GPs are not necessarily any good at diagnosing this. Heat rash, viral rash, and eczema can start off looking very similar in many babies. Look for a skin cream that does not have any of the following: sodium laurel or laureth sulphate (SLS/SLES), lanolin, or any of the parabens. Even many creams which say they are for eczema (even prescribed ones!) contain many of these ingredients. From memory, Aveno makes one that doesn't have any of these. A thin layer of Sudocrem can also be very helpful. If it does turn out to be eczema, the Forum has a wealth of collective knowledge on how to help! xx

What does the NHS recommend to help stop thumb-sucking in older children? I know the ADA/APD do not support the use of putting bitter tasting substances on the child's nails/hands. Their guidelines suggest that using a physical block is better. They also suggest if the child is older, to involve them in the processes of helping to select methods to stop thumb-sucking. If you haven't already ordered your LO's thumb guard, maybe talk about it with her. Show her online what it is, and then make a big fuss when it arrives in the post? xx

Must admit we're not very disciplined around our house, so if Little Saff (17 mo) is up early we just put her in bed with us (if she isn't already there from the night before, little rascal). She often wakes early but is getting better now I think. I tried to get Hubbie on board to help with post-supper walks earlier this year, but he was pants, too knackered from work. And I was too knackered from chasing Little Saff around all day to get organised with the buggy etc. It does seem that some children improve with age, so there's hope out there somewhere....

Do you have an au pair? Would going back to work full time allow you the income to have more domestic help? Do you have relatives or a friend who could stay with you for a few weeks while you settle back into your work routine?

From my understanding, sunlight (or artificial UV light) in the morning has been shown to help people who have trouble falling asleep. Sunlight in the evening helped people stay asleep longer, when their problem was early morning insomnia. UV enters the body through the eyes mainly, but also the skin. It effect hormone production in the pituitary gland of the brain. Some of these hormones are involved in setting and maintaining sleep cycles. The research I read a couple of years ago was for adults. I don't know of any research specifically in infants/children, but there is no harm in trying. You might not see results for a couple or weeks, or you might see results immediately, because it is normal for hormone production and metabolism to vary a lot between individuals. It's also possible that (a) something else is waking your LO, e.g. teething, hunger, lonely, bored, the list is pretty much endless. Or, (b) your Bubba is just an early riser. In which case, early morning wakings are his own internal 'default' setting, and will be difficult to change. I too am very curious to see what others' experience are with light therapy for insomnia/early waking. BTW, research also suggests that light therapy is helpful for not only seasonal affective disorder, but also eating disorders, and postpartum depression.