Saffron

On no, will miss this again! Nevermind... must stay-tuned here and FaceBook and hope to catch-up with everyone later this summer. xx

R_B your subject line could have been 'Difficult conversations with Forumites'! Hahaha :D Joking aside, just looking at how volatile this topic became with people who aren't even related to each other, one gets a sense of how difficult the issue become among people who ARE related. Having read through all the posts, I still think a Life Coach is your best least expensive option for the short term, to see you through to the birth of your baby and immediate months postpartum. A Life Coach can help you consolidate and prioritize all the advice you have received. A Mediator would probably be better for the long haul, helping you with specific topics in conflict resolution. You just might want to be careful that choosing mediation isn't seen by your mother as antagonistic towards her -- another reason why starting with a Life Coach might be best -- unless of course you think the situation needs a little stirring-up to get things sorted... Scarey but sometimes helpful at busting open long-standing problems. I agree with gwod that writing a letter will help clarify and consolidate your feeling. If you do decide to send the letter, wait 2 weeks. Read it again. If you still feel the same, then send it (or use it as conversation starter). xx

Hey R_B, so sorry to hear you're having a tough time. From my read of it, your Mum's well-meaning but poorly thought out offers to look after your son overnight seem to say that she feels left out of his life, but also guilty that she doesn't herself make more effort to be part of it. If this is part of a long-standing pattern of behaviour on her part stretching back to your own (or even her own) childhood, you're unlikely to benefit in the long-run from skirting the issue. But you're pretty sharp from what I can tell, so I guess you already know that right? Have you thought about having a consultation with a Life Coach or Mediator who could help you decide when to make critical interventions? Obviously timing is delicate for you with a new bubba on the way. xx

I have a feeding bra with specially reinforced seam rather than an underwire. It is pretty and comfy and gives a great boost. But also, when my boobs finally fit back into my regular bras, I started wearing underwires again around 1 yr postpartum. I haven't had any problems, though I don't usually wear a bra for more than 6-8 hours anyway. If you're unsure, perhaps go for a fitting? Some underwire bras are less 'bitey' than other.

rahrahrah Wrote: ------------------------------------------------------- > ....Actually, I'm not sure that putting out > descriptions of alleged perverts on this forum is > all that wise. Why's that? Just curious.

Otta, in any other instance, I would agree with you. It's just a different matter to me when young children are involved. Deviants prey on the fact that most people want to assume the best about others. They exploits our essentially kind and trusting natures to cover their own immoral behaviour. The thing that would be even more sad for us as a society , would be if we let people get away with immoral behaviour b/c we didn't want to confront them over it. It's sad that perverts prey on children. It's not sad that we as a society should be vigilant for them.

Hmm, I don't think I'd be inclined to be that generous. Even if they are a father and son, they could still be a couple of pervs.

Belle Wrote: ------------------------------------------------------- > Just mentioned this to my mum who suggested if > anyone sees these two or similar, might be an idea > to take a picture of them - I agree, and go a step further: When you think someone is filming you, if you can, start FILMING them filming you. It's better evidence than a still photo and would hopefully quickly deter them. DaveR, if NannyAdelle is a woman, I wouldn't be surprised if she didn't feel that she could directly approach the men herself in a situation where she probably felt shocked and confounded by such weird behaviour. Leta, can you point us to the law or bylaw under which filming and photography in public places is illegal? I was under the impression that this is a grey area that is not fully covered under current legislation.

Yes the park itself at Telegraph is very nice. Every third Saturday there is a farmers market there. There is also a new-ish community cafe at the top of the hill. The cafe is generally very child friendly, except I think they have 'quiet Fridays'. xx

Not as clean as CP 1 o'clock club, and definitely not as friendly. Watch out especially for the foul tempered spanish woman, who couldn't even manage a Hello or a Good-bye despite the fact that there were only 2 other children, so not busy at all. She did however manage to shout at me when I accidentally parked my buggy in the wrong place. There are no signs saying where to park buggies anyway, and staff had filled what should have been the buggy park with toys b/c it was raining. Little Saff was about 4 months old at the time. I was totally haggard with lack of sleep and PND. It would have been obvious to anyone with half a brain that I just needed somewhere to sit out of the rain for 15min to b/f Little Saff. I wrote a complaint to the council, and we haven't been back since. (And edited to say that I've also heard of someone else with a similar experience there, so just have a pinch of salt if you go there.)

...presume GP meant micro-particles of skin, not visible dry flakes. Micro-particles would contain fluid that could become airborne and potentially infective. However is it a bit of a long leap to infection if baby is contained in a sling and you've been doing lots of hand-washing yourself? I really couldn't say one way or the other. Probably GPs want to give the most conservative advice b/c of their Hippocratic Oath.

Little Saff is 16 months old, and recently she has taken to sitting in an adult chair at our table. We put a little folded blanket on it to make her sit up higher. When she wants down, she asks for helps. She just needs a hand to hold to get down. We've had a couple accidents where she's tried to get down on her own, but luckily it's only a small drop resulting mostly in a bruised ego. Now she'll only sit in a high chair if we're eating out. Sounds like your little boy is ready for a big chair too. Have fun. :)

Fiona is REALLY good and very nice. She did the make-up for my wedding, when I was 9-months pregnant, and I've had a small group make-up session with her too. I really recommend her. Also checkout Benefit Cosmetics or Laura Mercier Cosmetics for lots of great concealer-type products. xx

I second what Fuschia said. Hopefully it is just a phase and all will come well with time. But there isn't any harm in seeking a referral. And expert can help you then if there really is a problem. xx

ClareC Wrote: ------------------------------------------------------- > What happens withbabies under 6 months? Would it be immunoglobulin (Ig) therapy, similar to treatment for chickenpox? Also, just to add that my friend in Crofton Park (east of E Dulwich / Nunhead) was made aware through their nursery of a measles outbreak in their surrounding area last year about this time. Is it more commonly reported in the spring?

dully Wrote: ------------------------------------------------------- > I'm not a liar. I didn't say I was white either. > I'm an of mixed heritage which includes malay, > spanish, irish, english, dutch and bajan. When I > was a teenager if you weren't white you were seen > as black but as an adult I take time to consider > all my makers including my white family. So you portray your ethnic background however it suits you at the time? >This > is not a troll post but rather a serious question. > I get that people round these parts are quite > ignorant in regards to black culture and think > that gollywogs and lynch mobs are a joking matter > but these are quite seriously offensive things to > black people and are not taken lightly. Speak for yourself. Plenty of sensitive, erudite people round here. And yes, 'white' people (ie, 'non-black' people; whatever that means...) are also offended by racism. >I > appreciate that perhaps you don't find a black > person depicted as a slave offensive but perhaps > gollyhonky should get a whip and some shackles so > so the non white folk can have a big laugh about > how english folk used to travel the globe and > capture people to keep as pets and use for hard > labour. Hilarious. It isn't just English or 'white' people who did this.

It's not just your relationship with your parents that changes when you have a baby. Your relationship with your siblings can change too. The nicest thing I can say about one of my brothers is that he's an abusive, parasitic, manipulative liar, who is aware of his behaviour and makes no measures to change it. I have for years been putting up with his behaviour. Shortly before I got pregnant, I disowned him. And after my daughter was born, I decided this was the right decision. I don't want to be around someone who treats me like that, and I won't have someone treat me like that in front of my daughter. It's sad though, b/c he still lives with our parents, and I won't visit them b/c of this. So even though my relationship with my mother is pretty good, I don't see her very often as she lives overseas. Like others have suggested, sometimes it helps if you can get support from friends instead of family. Hubby and I are lucky that we have many great older friends who are nearby. Cuppa Tea, do you have anyone like that? xx

Thanks Fuschia, and interesting read. :)

It's definitely worth a try, if for nothing else than the fact that your child will see that you treat everyone equally. If it arouses anger instead of sympathy in your mother (as Hah44 suggests might happen), then you deal with the anger the same way you deal with it in your child. Be calm but firm, and not reactive. If you can get to the root of the problem and come up with a new understanding between you and your mother, that would be wonderful. If that's not possible, then it may be better to accept the differences and let them go. That does not mean you have to accept her behaviour around your son. That may mean accepting that you have someone else like your husband there when your mother is with your children. You may spend less time with your mother, but it may be better time. Children change everything (little buggers!). It will take you and your mother time to find new paths in life. A lot could be happening in her mind that she doesn't want to talk about, or doesn't have words for. Her lashing out at your son for example, could be an expression of her fear of losing you. She doesn't see that she creates the thing she fears by her very actions. lots of sympathy for you all x

When your mother interacts with your child in a way you disapprove, treat her exactly like you treat your 4 yo. Tell her firmly that her behaviour is not acceptable, but that you're not angry and you still love her. Then offer her a hug. I bet she will be totally blown away, or at least rendered speechless, which is fine for your purposes too.

So sorry to hear about your experience, Claire. It's soooo frustrating when MWs/GPs/etc don't take you seriously. I also find the statement by medical professionals that you must have had Cpox b/c 90-whatever-percent has had it, to be utterly illogical. If less than 100% of a population has had it, then by definition some individual will NOT have had Cpox of course. That was hugely negligent of whoever told you that, and I'm glad it turned out alright for your pregnancy in the end. I had my 1 yo daughter vaccinated -- 1st of two jabs -- earlier this year. Then due to intervening circumstances, we didn't make it back for the 2nd jab. Now I think we have to start the course over if we want her to have max immunity, arrrgh. But at least she didn't come down with Cpox after her playmates did. :) Friends' children have all caught Cpox in nurseries. Don't know any non-nursery babies who have had it (though I'm sure there are). I wonder if nurseries shouldn't do more to inform parents of the risks of Cpox and the availability of the vaccine either before or after exposure. Maybe some nurseries already do? I just didn't get that impressions from friends... Part of me feels that if parents, schools and nurseries put more pressure on the government, we could one day have Cpox vacc as an option on the NHS. As it stands now, in low income families where both parents must work to pay the bills, children go into nurseries earlier and can be more likely to be exposed to Cpox earlier. These then are the families that are least able to afford (a) private immunisation or (b) days off work to care for a sick child.

JennyH, every mother-baby dyad is different. A routine with independent sleeping is good for some, and difficult for others. If you're tired, sometimes just going with the flow is easier. Ten weeks old is still very new. Helping Baby to settle to sleep is totally fine. If like the OP you find in a few months, that you'd like to try a little more of a routine, there are lots of good resources available (this Forum included!) for easing Baby into different sleep patterns. Little Saff has been a rubbish sleeper, but brilliant at everything else. I guess it's swings and round-abouts with babies, as with so many things in life. At 15 mo, we've just transitioned from needing to b/f to sleep, to being able to nod off in the buggy. Progress at a snail's pace!! KateW, I envy your LO's sleeping through-- Good luck cracking the nap dilemma. :)

The spare room question is really a personal one. For some couples it will be a breaking point, for others it will be a saving grace. (Also, not everone can sleep with earplugs.)

And also check out this site, The British Snoring and Sleep Apnoea Asso: http://www.britishsnoring.co.uk/ In particular, see 'What Can I Do to Stop Snoring?' http://www.britishsnoring.co.uk/snoring/what_can_i_do_to_stop_snoring.php?PHPSESSID=f950007d04eefc465aa84d8a0faa828c

This from Wikiped: ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------ Causes- Generally speaking, the structures involved are the uvula and soft palate. The irregular airflow is caused by a passageway blockage and usually due to one of the following: Throat weakness, causing the throat to close during sleep Mispositioned jaw, often caused by tension in the muscles Fat gathering in and around the throat Obstruction in the nasal passageway The tissues at the top of airways touching each other causing vibrations Relaxants such as alcohol or drugs relaxing throat muscles Sleeping on one's back, which may result in the tongue dropping to the back of the mouth Enlarged tonsils Impact- Snoring is known to cause sleep deprivation to snorers and those around them, as well as daytime drowsiness, irritability, lack of focus and decreased libido.[1] It has also been suggested that it can cause significant psychological and social damage to sufferers.[2] Multiple studies reveal a positive correlation between loud snoring and risk of heart attack (about +34% chance) and stroke (about +67% chance).[3] Though snoring is often considered a minor affliction, snorers can sometimes suffer severe impairment of lifestyle. The between-subjects trial by Armstrong et al. discovered a statistically significant improvement in marital relations after snoring was surgically corrected. This was confirmed by evidence from Gall et al.,[4] Cartwright and Knight[5] and Fitzpatrick et al.[6] New studies associate loud "snoring" with the development of carotid artery atherosclerosis,[7] the risk of brain damage[8] and of stroke. Researchers hypothesize that loud snoring creates turbulence in carotid artery blood flow closest to the airway. Generally speaking, increased turbulence irritates blood cells and has previously been implicated as a cause of atherosclerosis. ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------