Saffron

DJKQ's omment could be read as one of perspective rather than morality, but I digress from the issue at hand. If we're really to prevent child sexual exploitation, I think we also have to create a culture and an infrastructure that helps and supports victims more. People don't come forward to report crimes and ask for help, if they don't expect to receive any help. Coming forward report crimes early could potentially be an avenue for preventing further crimes from happening. But if people feel like reporting these crimes leads to no real help and incurs in itself a deeper sense of victimisation, then it's easy to see why reporting such crimes is so difficult.

BrandNewGuy Wrote: > A kid strapped into a buggy does not have a chance > to interact properly with others. > It's also a > parental convenience not a means of the child > getting out and about in the world. Disagree. Just because you have a buggy with you, doesn't mean your child rides in it all the time. When we go on long jaunts, I'd say Little Saff does about 50:50 walking:buggy. There are times where it's simply safer for her to be in a buggy, particularly in high traffic areas or on public transport. For many people a buggy is BOTH a convenience and a means of getting out in the world, especially if you don't have a car! Personally, due to back and wrist problmes I really struggle to hold or carry my daughter for any length of time, should safety dictate it necessary. So, at 3.5 yo, we still take the buggy out with us a lot. Glad to know I can enjoy the rosey glow of other people's judgement on my back, particularly with summer shaping up to be a washout.

Nigello Wrote: ------------------------------------------------------- > Saffron - There is no universal rule that says > people have to take their cumbersome and bulky > prams/scooters etc and then expect there to be > somewhere for them to be placed. I never suggested that such a rule existed, nor that parents should have any expectation of such. > It's like people > who drop litter, saying 'well, there's no bin > nearby'. Common sense should rule. Don't expect > there to be a place for you and everyone else's > pram/buggy/scooter. I NEVER suggested that expectation: That's your own projection of other people's expectations. (Personally, if there isn't room to safely place a buggy, then I would look for somewhere else to go. THAT is common sense.) > Anyway, I doubt very much that > prams get nicked in broad daylight in SE22 from > outside chi-chi cafes. Yes, sadly it does happen.

Dearheart Wrote: ------------------------------------------------------- > I'm still in shock that some children are being > pushed around or strapped in buggies at the age 5. > Just wow... Is that a real life observation of an incident(s) you observed, or are you just getting that from Cyclemonkey's offhand comments in this thread that children 3 and over shouldn't be in buggies?

Child and Adolescent Mental Health Services http://www.camhscares.nhs.uk/v/referral

Nigello Wrote: ------------------------------------------------------- > Buggies and scooters are welcome - welcome to be > left at the doorstep or on the patio. Trying to > lug a minibus-sized pram into a small premises > that serves scaldingly hot drinks is really not a > great idea. It's common sense and regard for > others, two principles that seem to be less > apparent in SE22 and elsewhere. Ah, yes, leave them on the doorstep, where they are easily nicked?

It may seem strange, but it's probably an advantage that she can talk about her feelings in grown-up ways. Isn't it normal sometimes not to feel hungry when you're down? She might even have virus, but she (and you) can't see anything physically wrong. It might just being making her feel bad in herself. Re the teacher, have you ruled out that the teacher is part of the problem? Not every teacher-child combination is sympatico.

Sounds like she could be going through a developmental leap, since she's needing more attention during the day too.

can't see the link

Cyclemonkey Wrote: ------------------------------------------------------- > Saffron i'm sorry to sound judgemental but > seriously are you really suggesting that people > regularly put 4 and 5 year olds in to pushchairs > and wheel them around No. If you re-read my post, you will find that I'm suggesting that the age at which each family chooses to use a buggy is up to that individual family to decide. (I was also suggesting that your judgy pants are a bit tight. ;-) ) > ... But if you put a yelling 4 or 5 year > old into a buggy because they don't want to walk > you are surely creating massive rod for your own > back. One person's rod is another's fairy magic wand. > > Im terms of folding buggies away - fine if the kid > is in it - eg the place doesn't have a highchair > and they can't use the adult chair but i was > referring the empty buggies jsut left willynilly > in places. Yup, that's annoying to other buggy users as well, and it's nothing to do with the age of the child. > > Buses the same however seeing as the "pushchair > space" is actually for disabled customers parents > should always be ready to fold up the pushchair to > free up the space if needed. Yes, of course, but again not related to age or behaviour of the child. That fact that some people with pushchairs don't use them with consideration, doesn't mean that everyone with a 4-yo in a pushchair is incosiderately creating havoc. So if they want to use a pushchair, fine. I going to go out on a limb and guess that most parents are just trying to do the best they can, and (as always, no?) a few nut jobs* are making it hard on the rest of us. * Of couse it could also be that they were quite reasonable people once, but their children drove them to insanity...

thestylist Wrote: ------------------------------------------------------- > I think stepping in and 'engaging' with children > is something I'll steer clear of after a recent > incident at the park. > > Two small girls were fighting over a scooter and > were really screaming st each other with no parent > in sight it seemed. Their older brother ran over > and was actively encouraging them to start hitting > each other. > All the other parents in the playground were > looking fairly horrified but no one was doing > anything. > > I decided to walk over as there was no mother or > father coming across to them, and it wasn't > obvious who they were. All I said to the older boy > was 'can you go get your mummy please'. By me > stepping in the girls had stopped fighting. > > However i turned around to see the mother now > right behind me, and I explained they were > fighting etc. She said ' I want them to sort it > out between themselves'. Obviously she was ok with > them punching each other in public. She was > annoyed I had done something but they were around > 3 or 4 years old. > > Now I just look the other way. Unless I know the > person, I wont step in from now on. Oh dear, how awkward. But I think you did the right thing, and I hope it won't stop you from doing similar in the future. I've intervened in similar scenarios by saying general things like, "No fighting in the park, please!" Hopefully it helps parents in general to control their children if all adults are toeing a similar line in public. (Or perhaps I'm deluded... come to think of it, probably deluded ;-) )

Cyclemonkey Wrote: ------------------------------------------------------- > Well i'm sorry i have had that and you have to > grit your teeth and not allow them to get into bad > habits - we did it with my step son as he got used > to walkign everywhere very quickly and > uncomplainingly - you're not seriously > suggesting 4 - 5 year olds go in buggies - they > will be a primary school at that age - not wanting > to get all 4 Yorkshiremen about it but i was > regualrly expected to walk to mile to primary > school from my house with either my parents or > older children at the age of 4.5 - 5. While it's nice for you that you had such an ambulatory upbringing, as long as children are well-behaved and buggies are properly folded when necessary, it's totally up to each family to use them for as long as they need to do so. Indeed when using public transport and black cabs it's often much safer (even for an older child) to be in a buggy. If I can borrow a phrase from another forumite, maybe just loosen your "judgy pants" a bit. xx Edited to add, come to think of it, parents of badly behaved children probably need buggies even more -- somewhere to strap in the little mischeif makers while having a nice cuppa!

Local church hall?

Well, it's nice to know that Lewisham has plenty of gangs according to UncleBen, while Brockley is gentrifying according to Louisa. At least we're balanced. Funnily enough, I live in SE4 and hadn't noticed either. Perspective. ;-)

Annette Curtain Wrote: ------------------------------------------------------- > numbers Wrote: > -------------------------------------------------- > ----- > > Jaws > > Jaws as a comfort film ? > > Numbers, you is well weird innit Hahaha, made me think of my dad and brothers watching old Godzilla films on a Sunday afternoon! :)

TDLP used to have a playspace/cafe on the edge of Nunhead near Brockley Cross. This was a temporary space for them as they were a newly formed social enterprise. I don't think they have a new permanent location, but they can probably be found at a number of local summer festies. http://www.tdlp.co.uk/ Nice blog, btw. Sadly not an unusual experience (w or w/o children, lots of places are overpriced with rubbish service). ED a victim of its own (babyboom) success? Being populated by lots of families with children is definitely not the same as being child-friendly. Next time try the Cafe in Hilly Fields park (SE4), or Dish and the Spoon cafe in Nunhead? xx

Ladywotlunches, don't live in fear - you seem like an amazing mother! I think Dave and Espelli have made some excellent points. Also, you yourself say that your son has had a lot of changes at school this year. Maybe some breathing space is just as important as academic support? Bring on the summer sunshine and time in the garden! But also, what does your son think about possibly starting Kumon? If he's receptive to the idea, then there's no harm in giving it a try. If he really balks at the idea, then maybe you need to address the issue through an entirely different avenue? xx

The Labyrinth (with David Bowie), or Singing in the Rain.

Please help raise awareness... follow the link to sponsor. xxx http://www.kickstarter.com/projects/2076763036/still-born-still-loved-the-life-within-us

Yes, that seems a little bit too late to go quite so far from home in the evening without an adult. By the time they walked there, it would be time to turn around and come home. I think I'd only really be happy with my child hanging out in our own front garden, or within earshot at that time of day. That's what I was allowed when I was growing up, so maybe it's case of what you're familar with (or not). On that note, without meaning to be judgemental at all, I'm very curious what the other child was up to? Was s/he with other friends, or going to meet friends? I'm guessing no other parent was there? Are there usually children in Goose Green playground that late (considering that it's summer...)? I'm not often in that area in the evening. There are sometimes children in our local park (Hilly Fields) in the evenings. It's very sheltered by quiet roads, nothing like Goose Green playground.

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-22842192

My understanding is that it's not directly the higher SPF itself, but that higher SPFs have to be formulated differently. So if you've very sensitive skin, the formulation may be a limiting factor when trying higher SPFs. Is Ultra sun a physical sunscreen (eg titanium dioxide)? Chemical sunscreens are broken down by the UV in the process of protecting your skin. So they have to be reapplied, whereas physical sunscreens (don't be fooled by the name, some of these are clear) block UV from the skin's surface. They only need to reapplied if they're rubbed away from the skin. I've heard that SkinCeuticals does a factor 50 SPF, with titanium dioxide. Not tried it, but it sounds good. Might be worth investigating?

Depends on your child, the other child, what your street is like, etc. I'm on a relatively quiet street that doesn't run directly into main roads. There are often children riding bikes and roller skates in the evening if the weather's ok. 7:40 doesn't seem so late if it's sunny. Twenty minutes of fresh air before bath time might not be a bad thing. However at 11 years old I'd probably want to be out with them or not let them go any further than my front garden, more out of concern of something happening to them than concern over what they might get up to.

What kind of creative outlets does he have outside school?

It's great that we have such a wide choice of nurseries here but too bad that they can be quite expensive. I think if we're looking at any system for improvement the Scandinavian system is interesting, more so at a financial level than education style.