shaunag

It is a hard decision to take your child out of nursery, especially when there is no quick alternative. I took my daughter out aged three when she started protesting vigorously but only because I was on Mat leave and had time to sort something. I still kept her space and paid for it for almost three months in the hope it was a fad, but she didn't show any desire to return so that was that. It was annoying as I had a place for the baby also and was back to child care square 1. I now pay for a nanny (which costs way more than two nursery places), but both kids are happy, although I do think the youngest needs to make some pals so nursery of some description is back on my radar. You will build up his trust again and he will be ok-don't beat yourself up that your trust was broken it isn't your fault. Nursery has many pros but it doesn't suit all kids. It was fantastic for my daughter for 2 years but in the end didn't meet her needs. Don't think all nurseries are bad places-many children thrive there. It seems that staff member did you and your son no favours, but mud sticks and maybe her accusations were enough for other staff members to label your son trouble. That's not nice at all and you are all better off away from that environment. I hope your little man is fully back to his happy self before too long and you are too-he will feel your anxiety so chin up for him too. Every best wish.

If the antibiotics are for recurrent ear infections it is definitely worth trying to see a paediatrician. My sisters son was prescribed multiple sets of antibiotics until finally they put from its in and he was much better after that.

Thank you very much!

Hi. I've decided to de-clutter my house (going to shed the baby gear). There is so much it would be easiest to just blitz getting rid of it at a nearly new sale. Does anyone know of any happening soon locally and if I can book a table at one? Many thanks in advance!

We got our tree there too and it's a beautiful tree. My dad spent time in a hospice before he died; the staff there do amazing work and it is a massive support to people at a very difficult time in their lives. So I think it's fantastic that they are donating to such a good cause and hats off to them...

I would suggest going with your gut. If it's niggling away at you that he would be happier elsewhere, then maybe go through the motions to change things. The easy option is to leave things as they are. I did this for too long with my daughter. I moved her to a school nursery in September and she is so so much happier that I'm sorry I didn't change things sooner. It's hard to know where to go, but maybe a change will be enough stimulation to keep him going until September? Best of luck whatever you decide...

My daughter was the same. It's a phase - my daughter started outgrowing it as her friends became more important to her-ie ran off with her mates and ditched me! I wouldn't resist it, just indulge her to reassure her you are there for her and she will get the message eventually.

Hi. Does anyone know how to go about sorting out a future nanny getting their DBS check done? We have a nanny starting in January and we are trying to arrange ofsted registration, but apparently she needs to have her DBS check done first. Does anyone have any experience of doing this, and if so, how did you go about it? Any advice gratefully received! Many thanks in advance!

I did this too. I found it really relaxing which is weird as I had two kids with me-but they enjoyed it too. Unfortunately I'm back at work now so can't make it but if you can, I recommend it!

We've gone from nursery ft for no1 to nanny for no1 and 2. Now that we have a reliable nanny it is much less stressful. But, we went through two nannies before we found our third and current nanny that we are happy with so has been a learning experience. But, went to work the other day and left my son with a horrible cold-one I would not have sent him in to nursery with and he was fine. He doesn't cry and the kids have a lovely day. Daughter goes to preschool so she gets her socialising in and son Has big sister around so lots of stimulation (he wouldn't see much of her at nursery as she would be in a different room-he adores her so I'm glad she is around at least for this year). Also no1 was constantly ill at nursery and I missed a lot off time in the office as a result. This time around I'm banking on less illness and less time off as they will be at home anyway if ill (obviously if they are very poorly I'd need to take time off but the nanny could enable me to get some work done from home). I may need to rethink once no1 starts in reception so that no2 isn't bored,I may have to do a day or two at nursery then so he can make some buddies, but there is time to decide on that... Overall I'm much less stressed as no rushing about and don't live in fear of bugs and the children are really happy and calm. As above can leave them in pjs/asleep and they are ready for bed on my return (although 3 weeks in they are mega excited to see me when I get home-son bursts into tears having been fine all day bless him-today he started crying when the nanny left so a sensitive little fella). It is way more expensive though as daughter over three and I only work 3 days so she would not have cost that much at nursery after state funding and Childcare vouchers. But I think it's worth the expense to keep my career going over these few years when they are so little. I guess my advice is do it if you can!

Right, looks like we might need some frozen bits and pieces-thanks! A radio/CD player might be a bit as she loves a bit of a disco! Thanks again and happy Xmas shopping!

Hi. I have no clue what to get my daughter for Xmas. She turns 4 shortly after and I think we will get her a bike but don't know what to get her for Xmas. She has dolls coming out her ears...any suggestions gratefully received!

My son was the same-Ella's all the way. He only really started going for it recently and he's 12 months. I did get an ounce or two of homemade decent protein rich mush into him but really looking back I wish I hadn't stressed so much-they all start eating in their own time. Just try not to worry about what other babies are doing! Good luck.

Building works that keep waking my baby up (in his cot (despite secondary glazing), in his pushchair on the street, in the park...). What is with all of the building works wherever I go? While I'm at it, delivery guys that hammer on the door knocker so loudly that it almost knocks the door down (and wakes my baby up (only ever knocking after he has finally gone to sleep)). So basically noise that's too noisy.

Could also try Barcelona tapas bar (not sure if still technically ed but yummy tapas). A cheap and cheerful option is Mr Liu-I feel like I'm abroad in that place, don't know why! Or any of the others already mentioned...

Realistically I think they have to charge something or the lists for all local nurseries would be completely out of control. I got wound up by bit when I was trying to arrange Childcare for my first. However, i eventually decided that it's the quality of childcare, not administration that I needed to focus on, however frustrating. I think if you want a place you need to badger, not just pay the fee. There is also a lot of time spent by nursery staff trying to sort out admissions and juggle this with when children are moving between rooms-this time needs to be paid for somehow. I guess I am defending nurseries because my daughter spent 2.5 happy years at one and I did think the staff worked incredibly hard (and it's not a particularly well paid profession). It was a registered charity so no one was pocketing the waiting list fee (and they do close their lists).

Tommy's paeds eye department also accepts toys.

Went for a coffee there today. Have to say it was yum-Monmouth no less! Recommend a visit for a coffee of you haven't been there yet (they do take away too). Have yet to have a meal there but will be on my list!

There is nothing worse than your own baby bawling and not being able to settle them. It is really hard. IMO they don't cry for nothing. As a few people have said,wind is often a culprit. It really hurts them. So if you have any close friends or relatives that had tricky babies ask them to come and help of they can(watch what you are doing and show you any and all tricks they have for winding). If you can eliminate wind as a cause, it's likely to be reflux and/or An allergy in which case you need help. Constant feeding is a symptom of reflux as it helps soothe if it's burning. Again repeating the above but ask your gp to refer you to see a paediatrician at kings and don't understate how this is affecting you as a family as you need to get this sorted ASAP-it is no way to live. My daughters dairy allergy went Undiagnosed for 3 months and while she was not a screamer I was really in a bad way watching her throw her guts up at such a young age. The specialists are brilliant and you will be able to get some support to help make your little one more settled. Tongue tie is another possibility (gaining weight doesn't necessarily mean baby is getting as much as they would want, and could still be frustrated), so maybe go along to one of the breast feeding caf?s where there are people that can help rule that out/in as a cause. At least if you can take some steps toward a resolution it might help you feel better and you may even crack it with lo. Best of luck. I really feel for you...(and don't worry the love will come, and then you'll wonder how you can love someone as much as you love your baby).

AnyaJoeli my daughter regressed in lots of ways when her baby bro arrived, and still chances her arm frequently (wanting to be dressed, fed, carried, baby talk, Molly coddled generally). Possibly a very perceptive little boy wanting to hold mummies attention for as long as possible. They are such monkeys..

I really don't think it is something that can be rushed. They can also develop very painful constipation if they are only in nappies at night (holding their poo and then the gut stops recognising the need to go making it very difficult to go when they decide to). Like food, I think it's a control thing for them as well. If he thinks you are indifferent he might be less intimidated by it (not worrying about things going wrong and disappointing you so much). I didn't push it at all with my daughter. She came home from nursery one day and said 'I'm not a baby I'm a big girl' and refused to wear nappies. I forced her to wear a nappy at night (because I didn't want to deal with wet beds in the night) for about 3 more weeks until we went away and there was a spare bed. I left her nappy off and she stayed dry. She had a handful of accidents but that was it. She was just under 2.5 (and I had just bought a mega pack of nappies and pull ups from amazon!). He will get there but like others have said peer pressure does wonders (I think my daughter got some baby comments that spurred her on to stop with nappies). I imagine my son will be a different story though!

Just to add, I don't want to encourage bad habits but when my son wakes for an early morning feed (4/5am) he often won't go back in his cot - recently I've taken to letting him into our bed where he then sleeps soundly. I have vague recollections of my daughter being similar- with her I think input it down to teething pain freaking her out and wanting the comfort of mummy nearby. It's not a good habit to get into, but if you need to get some sleep and it works might be worth considering. That said my daughter is now 3.5 and she still comes in in the night a lot. But, I did the same as a child and I don't like the idea of her being scared (and they do grow out of it...) ps have my son in a vest, baby gro, merino wool sleeping bag and if it gets really cold I out a cellular blanket on him (he then wriggles out of it and I put it on again if I or he wake again)

Hi. Do you think she might be in pain? It would be a bit weird to only be starting now but acid reflux could be an explanation. Maybe have a chat with your gp? I'm a firm believer that babies don't cry for no reason. If you don't ya think it's pain could it be something like not liking the dark? My sister had her son in pitch black and he slept very badly. In mums suggestion she introduced a night light and he started sleeping much better; he was a bit freaked out in the dark! Similarly maybe some white noise could help? Or could she be hungry? My son is very predictable; if he doesn't have enough protein in the day I know I'm in for a rough night. He's a terrible eater though so we still have off days. I don't know if others have any other suggestions but you must be wrecked if she is awake all the time, so maybe worth trying some of the above (I'd start with more food if possible; whatever she will eat)!

I was falling asleep putting my daughter down-sat bolt upright it was so loud through the triple glazing in her room. She was absolutely terrified poor tot. Was waiting for the rain that didn't come. It really was weird. Hope those people that were in the house are ok-must have been beyond frightening for them...

My daughter was acting up in a major way (she is three and a half) and I ended up pulling her out of nursery. I got talking to my uncle who has just retired as a teacher and many many other people about it. A consistent suggestion that came out was that sudden changes in behaviour (for the worse) are often related to kids being picked on. I really don't know what I'm talking about but could it be her trying to assert some control where she hasn't been feeling in control in school? It's horrible seeing them get so stressed out. My only advice is try to keep calm as much as possible and offer plenty of cuddles. Hopefully with a lot of love and reassurance she will revert to her usual happy self in time. Good luck.