Kes

Molly - that's interesting that ivydale are doing that now, I hope more places follow them, we looked into school nursery but as it stands 5 half days is utterly useless for most working mums - I'm only part time but do 3 full days so am restricted to private nursery at the moment

etta - I do wish I had been as sensible as you! I believed entirely that everything would go smoothly for me and had no "what would I do" back up plan - with hindsight that was rather foolish! redmare - I guess it depends on what you mean by happy? It certainly won't be a tale of how wonderful and empowering my planned natural water birth was - 'cause that all went right out the window! But I have a gorgeous, healthy almost 3 year old and another on the way - so that much is very happy! Sanne Panne - not letting it get over long is going to be my main challenge I think. K

Great, thanks everyone! So the consensus seems to be to write it - now I just have to try and do that without it being too long - could be tricky!! Ruth - hehe, I read yours when you posted it, really interesting! K

Honest opinions needed please lovely family roomers - I've been writing a blog since I was pregnant with my daughter 3 years ago (not going to link to it - that feels rather cheeky!), I write a fair bit about pregnancy and birth but I've never put my daughters "birth story" on there - should I? What do you think? I can't decide if it's something people (both those I know and strangers) want to read about - lots of people love one born and all that and it would sort of fill a blank on the blog or is it just a bit weird/TMI? The other factor is that it wasn't a great birth so won't be a lovely, cuddly read, although I try to put a positive spin on everything on the blog. Opinions?? Thanks!

Oh Saila, you poor thing sounds like you had a horrible experience. I can't add anything on infections I'm afraid, but I wanted to mention that when I had my daughter the midwife was quite happy to give me an epidural, if anything she looked relieved I'd finally asked, this was St T's not Kings, but just to say not all of them actively discourage you. It was a long wait to get it as all anaesthetists were in theatre, but I got there in the end. Also - I wholeheartedly agree with you feeling safer with a medicalised birth, but also feeling that you aren't supposed to say that! I went all out for a natural birth last time, was entirely confident in it and ended up with all manner of interventions, a C-section and months of feeling guilty for "failing" - stupid! Good luck, I hope it's a lot better for you this time

Surely total lack of evidence that they work + slight risk they may be dangerous = save your money and just give the kid calpol? Perhaps I'm over anxious, but I wouldn't feel happy letting a baby out of my sight for a minute with a bead necklace around it's neck.

I had a hospital birth (which unfortunatly ended in a C-section) but I loved the birthing pool for the first however many hours until it became clear things weren't going to plan. I'd definately say get one, and then see how you feel. 2 of my friends who had home births had them but never used them, one was too quick the other just didn't feel like it so I guess you just can't tell until it happens - would be annoying to really want one and not have it though. ooh I wish I could have just stayed in the pool for the whole thing. Actually my daughter is heading for 3 now and only fairly recently stopped being terrified of all swimming, baths etc. perhaps that explains her reluctance to come out in the pool ;o)

I'm not sure I would have wanted to share my (traumantic) birth story with preganat women, it wasn't an option where I was living at the time anyway but I think I would have felt the need to put on a brave face and make a joke of it all for their sake, which really would have done nothing to help me. It would be great if Mums were offered the opertunity to talk things through in a small group a few months after the event so long as it was facilitated by someone who ensured that it didn't become a competition over who's experience was worse or where those who've had complications/interventions feel others are judging and blaming them for it (both things I've experienced btw) But then I'd also like to see caseload midwives for everyone who wanted them, not just those planning home births or registered with a certain GP I guess the money (and perhaps the will) just isn't there.

One criticism of the study though - it didn't look at the cost of pre-natal care, it seems that you get a lot more care from a smaller team of midwives if you opt for a home birth, this presumably would add to the costs. My NCT teacher advised my whole class to claim we wanted home births even if we didn't just so we'd get better antenatal care (we could pretend to chicken out at the last minute if we really wanted to go to hospital!)

Oh please don't feel like a failure mum2be, sooner or later your body would have gone into labour, but it's safer to get the baby out sooner which is what you're doing. Far from being a failure that means you are a brave and selfless mother who's prepared to put herself through unwanted medical procedures in order to give her little one the best possible start in life. Well done you! Oh and I'd second having an epidural before sintocinol! Good luck, I hope it all goes quickly and smoothly and you're holding that new little person very soon.

I had a blood test there yesterday, openeing times now seem to be 7.30-3.45 I was there are about 10.30 and had to wait half an hour but I went about a month ago at about 2pm and was seen straight away. Nice friendly staff and they've never had problems getting blood from me which other people have struggled with in the past. Much better than the 2 hour queues I was getting stuck in there a year or so ago or the massive queues at Kings Does annoy me a bit that they don't just have a nurse taking blood at the GP surgery, everywhere I've lived previously did that

I used the natal hypnotherapy CDs. I found them really good for relaxing during pregnancy ( fell asleep quite often listening to them) and made the pain completely barable for 20 hours or so while labour seemed to be going ok (if rather slow) unfortunatelY as sanne panne says luck also plays a part and some time later I ended up with every intervention going before giving up and having an emergency c-section. For all that I'd still recommend the CDs as I'm pretty sure that I'd have only needed that had the baby been smaller and the right way round. Someone else also mentioned yoga, I'd recommend that too. Good luck

ooh Beany - where do you get the mini arancini from? I'm afraid I resort to pre-packed food a fair bit, especially when I'm working, fish fingers, vege sausages and vege burgers (the type that are lots of veges in breadcrumbs) go down well and good old beans on toast if you get the reduced salt and sugar type

This happened to my sister in law (although not in London) the plates were nicked, she replaced them and then months later was stopped at a petrol station as they had a record of a car with those plates driving off without paying. Freaked her out a bit but the garage seemed to have a system for checking it and as it was a different looking car that drove off they figured it out pretty quickly.

I'd highly recommend Coombe Mill Farm we've just come back from our second holiday there and our 21/2 yr old daughter loved it. Variety of self catering properties, loads of friendly animals, daily tractor rides, outdoor play areas and indoor soft play and pretty close to Padstow. There isn't a pool on site but you can use one at another holiday village just up the lane - although we never have, always had lovely weather so just stayed on the farm. I'm in the process of writing a blog post about it, if you're interested let me know and I'll send you the link when it's up.

Thanks for sharing that Ruth, it's so nice to read something positive about C-sections, like you I've come across people with some pretty odd attitudes to them including from medical professionals and I find it weird how different the approach is here compared with the US. I suspect neither country really has it right at the moment. I blogged about this recently myself here: Southwarkbelle sorry for the even cheekier adding of my own blog there but it seemed relevant so I hope you don't mind! Also well done for dealing so well with other peoples comments, I wish I'd been better at that after my emergency CS. If I ever decided to face it all again it's reassuring to read that it can go well.

Just to point out the website hello sailor lists isn't an impartial source of advice on the subject, it's a company run by a stongly anti-MMR (and anti cervical cancer vacine) GP who charges 390pounds if you want a consulatation and 2 of the single jabs (mumps not available at the moment, but presumably another 120 for that going on his price list) T&G - sorry off topic, jsut some of the wording on that website annoyed me! Entirely up to you if you want to do single vaccines, my daughter had MMR so I can't suggest anyone I'm afriad

I was told recently by an Obstetrcian at St T's that they do now offer Pethadine (though they didn't 2 yrs ago whn I was there). I think it's a bit dramatic to call it "heroin" Many painkillers are opioids including pethadine, morphine, diamorphine co-codamol and heroin, but no one is going to turn into a trainspotting character because they had a shot of pethadine in labour. Many patients who take these things long term can become addicted, but the additiction is initally psychological - fear of the pain returning if they stop the pills - not really an issue if you're not in labour anymore. (With terminal patients they have to keep increasing the dose as it stops being effective) Not seen this weeks OBEM but my understanding of it was that they gave these drugs when the birth was still a long way off so the mother could get a bit of rest and a break from the pain, it would then have warn off by the time the baby was born with no lasting effects on either? Without the opioids the alternative is an epidural and all the issues that come with that (or just putting up with it). Sorry I know people were probably joking when they said heroin but if I had to do another 30+ hour labour and I was offered pethadine this time, I'd like to think I wouldn't be looked down on as being a junky if I took it! K

Well said Jolly Baby - there are masses of natural products used as drugs: What do you call alternative medicine that has been proved to work? Medicine I'm pleased to hear about the use of honey for wound care in hospitals - is this common now? I was recommended it by a GP many years ago for an infected wound, it works a treat and is great on insect bites too, it's an antiseptic that draws out infection, stops anything else getting in and provides a nice moist environment for healing, nothing "alternative" about that, it fell out of fasion with the advent of antibiotics (which come from a natural source) but may prove very usefull in these days of MRSA.

Just to point out - hellosailor has chopped up my post and in so doing changed the tone of it somewhat, I was not attempting to be patronising or aggressive, as the mother of a small child myself I am conscious that I was far more concerned about every little thing that happened to her when she was a baby than I am now she is a bit bigger. Kalamiphile asked how sceptics could explain what had happened, I was giving 3 possible explanations, that was just one of them. the "just saying" comment was because I fully expected to be criticised for what I had written (imagine it said as I duck my head and hide under my lab coat)

Kalamaphile, It is of course up to you to pursue alternative treatments if all else has failed and if you do not risk harm by stopping conventional treatments, it doesn't make you immune to the placebo effect though. That said the placebo effect and the power of the mind is so strong that it may in fact help people in certain conditions (as you say), but it is highly unlikely that it does so for the reasons homeopaths claim. A couple of things from your post I want to pick up on - a great many doctors and medical scientists feel that it is wrong that homeopathy is offered on the NHS, it exists for historical reasons and because there are some very vocal supporters (not least Prince Charles) It's true that pharmaceutical companies are unlikely to fund research into homeopathy, however this is not the only source of medical research, charities, academic labs etc. all run research and are not constrained by the need for profits (I used to work in big pharma, I'm now in a medical charity) If someone could produce a scientifically proven homoeopathic remedy they could make a fortune from the book alone! It's not impossible to get unbiased research, there are volumes of it. I'm sorry that it seems I am getting at you personally, it's just that you have brought up a few common arguments that I felt needed balancing. I am very glad that your granddaughter is getting better whatever the cause of it.

hellosailer - the basic idea of homeopathy is that if a plant etc. causes the same symptom as a disease when taken in large quantities then a very very very dilute solution of that plant will treat the disease. A solution of the plant is made and then diluted over and over again, so that it is likely there are no molecules of the original plant left in any given dose, but the water that is left carries the memory or vibrations of the plant. It originated in the 19th centuary, as you say many plants form the basis of modern conventional medicines, (asprin being the classic example) but generally the actual active molecule will be identified and used, no one has yet found any scientific evidence for vibrations or memory in water. Of course everyone's truth is their truth but I guess it depends on your definition of truth, as a scientist my truth is scientific evidence, trials conducted as fairly as possible then published so others can criticise them. Also - as a scientist, if new and convincing evidence were to show that homeopathy works, I'll happily eat my words, and be straight down the homeopathy clinic!

Kalamiphile - some possible explanations from a sceptic - 3 month old baby gets develops transient lactose intolerance, 18 month old child is weaned, eating a far more varied diet, becomes tollerant of lactose and excema clears up - homeopathic pills were a coincidence 3 month old baby develops dry skin - family are very concerned about the poor wee baby and declare it's excema. Kid has homeopathic treatment, family are greatly soothed by the practitioner, dry skin doesn't look so scary anymore becuse the nice homeopath said it's getting better and the kid is bigger and tougher looking. Homeopathy is placebo by proxy 3 month old has very sensitive skin - has allergic reaction to something, then the rash goes away, homeopathic pills are a coincidence. I could go on, but basically just becuase the kid isn't aware of the (enourmous quantity) of scientific research, doesn't mean the sugar pills worked. Just saying...

mm, didn't much like that article, children should certainly be happy, curious and compassionate, but I don't think this is achieved by just sitting back and allowing them to do whatever they want. Emotions are sudden, and overwhelming to small children and they need help to learn to recognise what is happening and control it, I don't mean that they should be emotionless and cold, (as ???? says more people find a middle ground)but to be driven blindly by emotion as an adult, flying into a rage or needing to do/have somthing that very minute could be very risky. Parents need to help thir children in this, just as you'd help them learn to cross the road. If a child can not sit still for a class, then don't take them to one, easy. Some kids will be happy to sit and watch if it's only for a short period and it's unfair for them to be disrupted by others running all over the place. You wouldn't expect a kid in a playground to be stopped from playing because another parent felt their kid had the right to sit in silence at the top of the slide for 30 minutes! If clases expect toddlers to sit still for half an hour then no one should go to them! I've not come across any like that but maybe they exist. I guess it depends on what you see as your ultimate aim in raising your child - to produce a person who is driven by their inner nature and to hell with what society/everyone else thinks, or a person who is aware of their inner nature and the rules of society and able to use this understanding make these things work for them. I'd go with the latter, I like other people, I do care what they think, I don't think that makes me a doormat.

I've wondered about this before but never bothered posting it - why are only "creative" mums allowed? I'm a scientist, I don't want to spend all my time sitting around talking about sleep and feeds either but get the impression from this post that I wouldn't be welcome. I've always thought life is more interesting if you can meet people with different backgrounds, opinions etc. It's one of the things I love about London. I certainly don't want to just spend my time visiting museums with other scientists! Sorry, it's Friday and I've been in an overheated lab all day so I'm grumpy! ...I'll get my (lab) coat