dulwichmum

Dear Mr Mockney Piers, Your family photo was like looking in a mirror! I (of course) shall be the moll, but there will be one small addition to my outfit. I shall carry an enormous handbag, with a sweet rat terrier peeping out between the handles. By the way Mr Crystalclear, James likes to be known as Mr Twokidneys actually. However did you find that out about him?

Dear Mr Batdog, I write (publish) specifically to you all the time on this forum. I consider you to be a special friend and there is indeed always a special place in my heart for you Mr Batdog. Please tell me you feel the same way?

Dear Mr Mockney Piers, You have a way with words old man. My husband James would like to join your gang, he thinks you sound rather dapper. So if you let him know when you will be having your first meeting, he will pop along with his cravat, smoking jacket and slippers. Should he part his hair to one side too and perhaps don some hair oil?

Dear Batdog, You really are a pet! We haven't chatted for an age. I hope the little ones sleep tight tonight, I am exhausted. Thank you for your concern.

Dear Mr Batdog, Will you be reading SE21 Magazine next month as well sweetie? As you and Angela have become friends?

Dear Mr Huguenot, Thanks for that. I fancy some sexy fish, perhaps scallops, wrapped in bacon on top of a nice rocket salad. Yum, I am so happy today we have such an enormous four wheeled drive vehicle! The snow can't stop me, it's fish for supper tomorrow evening......

Dear Ms Shambles, No, this certainly does not sound like a boy name on reflection. My apologies again. I am afraid I am having an axious week, not getting lost of sleep. It is affecting my judgement. I apologise again Mr Crystalclear, but Beauty Plus - the Salon on Forest Hill Road do a facial with your name that claims to enliven a tired complexion - apparently. I am sorry about that, I thought you were the lady who owns the salon - trying to give your establishment a plug. I went in there for a pedicure and I was lucky that I got out with my facial muscles in tact - she was talking about zapping this and injecting that. All manner of medical procedures are at their disposal without so much as a medical qualification!

Dr Mr Mikewbate, Pass the tissues........

Dear Mr Bob s, It will be my pleasure. I shall then write it up so we may all enjoy it!

Dear Bob s, I am really pleased with all your support. I am sure I can manage a good handbaging, poke in the eye and a kick too! Cad...

Dear Mr Ant, No, I could almost guarantee I could make contact. Can you imagine the damage I could inflict with my enormous hand bag alone? I really find it hard to accept a parent who cannot put the emotional welfare and security of their young family first. Don't turn on me now Snorky et al. It is an opinion I am entitled to.

Dear Bob S, As you are in agreement, I shall poke him in the eye and fight like a girl!

I'd kick his behind! The man is a cad. I read about him in my father-in-laws Daily Mail. He has young children, and can't seem to behave himself accordingly. I think I should set Mr Batdog on him! When I saw Mr Nesbitt last - his eyebrows were growing out of his nose!

I'd kick his behind! The man is a cad. I read about him in my father-in-laws daily mail. He has young children, and can't seem to behave himself accordingly. I think I should set Mr Batdog on him!

Dear Mockney Piers, As you are clearly a man who likes a ruby, I wonder if you have ever had a 'Kulwant' Curry on a Friday night? This talented Indian lady who lives in West Dulwich, emails a menu out on a Monday, you order by Wednesday, and she delivers to all the local school gates (or you can collect) on a Friday evening - from Dalmore Road. The food is just perfect. Kulwant also does this amazing thing - whereby she comes to your house and gives a marvellous cookery demonstration and prepares the meal for your dinner party in the manner of a cookery lesson. Obviously you must provide your own au pair to load the dishwasher afterwards, but it is just about the best night in you can imagine. Kulwant has just done a 'pilot TV cookery show' for channel 4. You can join her mailing list on: [email protected] Why can't Kulwant give a cookery demonstration?

Sorry Mr Mockney Piers, I'll try to contain myself in future. I hate to think I am making anyone experience actual physical symptoms.

I could hit him with a stick as well if that is any good. I am always willing to do my bit for charity!

Dear Mr Mockney Piers, You have no idea how valuable I find a table such as this. You are indeed a gentleman.

Dear Mr Mockney Piers, You know what we like soooo well. Where could I get a more up to date one of these to print off? I will print this one off for my bag to be going on with. Thanks sweetie. X

Sorry Ms Shambles. I just love the name. Coooool!

Mr Nesbit lives in Elfindale Road now I believe. He has a face that needs a good slap!

Dear Mr Batdog, Really? Could this be true? I find it impossible not to reply to you.

Dear Mr Batdog, You are my hero. XXX Sigh.

I hear SE21 magazine will be just stunning next month. Angela publishes this too and well, all I can say is that she is a woman of taste and it will make compelling reading!

Dear Mr Ivemet-jimmy, I am a 6ft brickie from Penge with a hairy back - you may have paid to see me mud-wrestle in the past - you just didn't know it was me.