dulwichmum

Shame on you Michael, I am scowling right now and you know that I don't like to accentuate my frown lines... NAUGHTY STEP!

Oh macroban darling, surely not! There could not be a group of special chums on this forum, surely not?

Darling Mr Wolf, I am merely suggesting that you consider some form of detox and perhaps take up a proper hobbie like I me! I adore tennis... http://www.sheerluxe.com/content/images/full_size/janet_reger.jpg

charliecharlie! How very dare you. I'll have you know that I am stick thin and make Nigella Lawson look like Vicki Pollard in the upmarket and glossy stakes. I am incredibly stylish and only every wear white jeans... although I do look a bit as though I am sucking a lemon each morning on the number 3 bus. Apparently it is un-environmentally friendly to drive my Audi Q7 to the City of London each day. Damn the environmentalists...

bigbadwolf Wrote: ------------------------------------------------------- > When I'm really really stoned I sometimes indulge > in the occasional Airfix model, any scale will > do. > > Reading. > > My remote control helicopter. > > Walking. Clears the mind. > > Porn. > > Posting on the forum. Darling Wolfie, Why don't you go to confession to sort out your little "porn" hobbie. Then, when God has forgiven you, you could perhaps apply for an alotment, volunteer to work with a charity or take up morris dancing. You sound like such a sweet man, I hate to think of you titillating and degrading yourself in this way. Do you have a wife sweetie? Don't you think she would be disappointed in your depraved behaviour? Think of the horror on your mothers face (OHMYGOD)! Cut back on sugar and white bread, omit tea, carbonated drinks and alcohol. Go organic sweetie. Clean the smut from your life. We are all here for you darling...

People who apply make-up on the bus, particularly mascara, it always makes me wince. People who pluck their chin hair on the number 3 bus. People who paint their toe nails on the bus (again yesterday morning - the number 3 OHMYGOD!). People who clip their toe nails on the bus (last year, again on the number 3). People who drink alcohol at 8 am on the bus. People who talk loudly on their mobile phones on the bus. People who listen to music on the bus that is not played on ear phones. People who engage in evangelical preaching on the bus. People who fight physically with eachother on the bus. Generally, the number 3 bus causes me a great deal of anxiety on a daily basis. It travels through Lambeth you know...

I don't know what you are talking about, but if you insist on this vile inuendo (I know you are being rude in some way) I shall slap your legs. To the naughty step with you!

If there is some exclusive club in here I insist on joining. Somebody PM me for God's sake. I am assuming there is a joining fee, who do I make the cheque out to?

You see it really is possible to register your concern without breaking a nail (sigh).

Saving big business is on top of the agenda at the G20 sumit. The world's poorest children are not. Help Save the Children to give them a voice and sign their petition. Please.

I prefer pheasant actually. And if Michael behaves badly, I could opt for peasant instead... watch yourself Michael I love you Michael Palaeologus, you great big muscular mountain of manliness (sigh)!

Lovely Louisiana, the slow cooker is the retro kitchen accessory du jour! One can use cheaper cuts of meat (I hear) and assorted root vegetables, cooking it slowly whilest one is out at work! They were the fastest selling kitchen adornment just last Christmas. My housekeeper is a lazy old hag and clearly tweezes her chin hair or has her varicose veins injected all day long while I am at the coal face, deep in the City of London, knee deep in anarchists, agitators and mutineers protesting for social change. Why oh why are so many of the great unwashed... er... unwashed? I am loving the colour scheme you have chosen sweetie.

What are you saying? I love a good scrum on the forum. This forum has done wonders for my marriage...

Sweet Louisiana, Have you considered the use of a slow cooker? No stove required and it makes the most amazing lamb/chicken casseroles (my mother says - I never EVER eat, clearly!).

Darling Louisiana, How very exciting! The only thing that can grab my attention quicker than a copy of Martha Stewart Weddings magazine is a conversation about kitchen cabinetry (sigh). I am still not quite convinced by my deep poured concrete surfaces...(sigh). What colour/finish/surfaces/look etc are you going for??? Come on, tell us all! Anyhow sweetie, why not despatch the au pair to Tas Cafe on Borough High Street. They sell the most amazing cold Turkish food, all manner of fabulous salads, stuffed aubergines, chopped coriander, tomatoes etc. I could eat there every day of the week and never get bored by salads. OHMYGOD! You can buy an enormous salad try for less than ?4. However, I survive on black coffee and vino. My arms are as thin as sticks and I make Nigella Lawson look like Mr Blobby! I adore my kitchen, but I would never dream of allowing anyone to use my steam oven or other fabulous accessories.

dulwichdreadlocks Wrote: ------------------------------------------------------- > IMO, East Dulwich is not all it's cracked up to > be... In comparison to where? Who has cracked it up to be something? I love the line about the Elephant and Castle Bon3yard! East Dulwich is lovely.

How very dare you! What about Snorkie?

Oh Moos darling, my Power Plate is fabulous for toning! Mikecg sweetie, I know you long for man on man action...

Look here Mikecg, stop PM-ing me. I would continue to be slow to reply to your advances, even if we had instant messaging. I am a man. Get over it... http://www.mexicowoods.com/page0/files/page0_blog_entry122_1.jpg

Dear Jah, I really feel for you and your poor girlfriend. David_Carnell, I do not drink Chardonnay!

Michael Palaeologus Wrote: ------------------------------------------------------- > When at college, I went to see The Nolans. > > I still feel soiled. OHMYGOD sweetie! Is that why you refer to me as "Coleen" when you are drunk? If I had known I would have worn my gold spangley boob tube to the last forum drinks!

North Dulwich is not quite as cultured as West Dulwich (clearly), it is virtually Herne Hill which protects us from Brixton, so I suppose that it does merit a strong police presence afterall. But I wonder if at least 9 of those police officers would have been better deployed on the number 3 bus, where parents openly drink Carlsberg export from cans on the school run?

OHMYGOD! I just counted eleven police officers on North Dulwich station, supporting one inspector who was checking the tickets of 8 passengers waiting for the 9.14 to London Bridge!!! What is going on? Haven't they got anything better to do? This is not Lambeth you know.

I have just read this entire thread and I am horrified by what has been written. I have held so many on here in such high esteem, I thought that you were so incredibly bright. Jade had a bloody difficult start, the most difficult. She managed to become a dental nurse. I personally think that is a huge achievement for someone so neglected. I have nothing but respect for her. She lived for her children, I do not care whether it is distasteful to you how she earned her living. Max Clifford is a parasite. I just hope that she had a peaceful death and that her sons manage to survive their childhood. Shame on so many of you here. It is so easy to have high morals when you don't have any idea what the hell you are talking about.

Indeedy. I would like to wish all of the lovely Paddies on the forum a happy St Patricks day. I am sure you are all having a jolly day here on the mainland but wishing you were at home dancing at the crossroads and eating Mikado biscuits and Tayto crisps. This country was built by the Irish and their super doopery building skills. God bless you all.