rifleman harris

Well it worked for me Loz. All bald stocky men are scared of me now;-)

My tip to the OP: Buy you're fella a set of weights, a punchbag and boxing gloves. In 4 or 5 months he'll be a hard b*****d like Charles Bronson (the hardman villain not the hollywood actor)and no stocky bald men will want to f*** with him again. Now I'll sit back and see what berk cuts and paste my comments!

I know I've said this before but JAGS sports is ideal. Its only 37 beer tokens a month its open from 6am to 10pm Saturdays and Sundays, 6am to 8am and 6pm to 10pm mondays to fridays term time (in school hols I think its open 6am to 10pm) they have free weights that go to 25kgs so they cater for the adonises (like myself B) ) and it has a cross section of users, plus squash, badminton, swimming and other activities are free.

How about opening a 'Taboo' shop? That would last a lot longer in ED.

Im a member of JAGS sports club. Its cheap, have 2 gyms, swimming pool and free use of squash courts and floodlit tennis courts. there are always free courses going on for members. I thouroughly recommen it.

Mick said: I don't mind the ?4, its the 10p that kills me. This means 90p of heavy change. After 10 pints and ?9 worth of heavy change, I can barely get myself home Mick: thats ?9 to go towards your kebab with chilli sauce innit?>:D<

>My rule on a bike is that having right of way doesn't matter if you are under the wheels of a truck or a bus. Truck drivers should be much more aware of cyclists than they are but, more importantly, cyclists should be terrified, wary and totally suspicious of trucks. The cyclists have a lot more to lose than the truck drivers!< I extend that to cars and vans as well. I just cycle defensively. How many times I see a driver (car of lorry) about to pull out of a side road, look my way but don't notice me and pull out. If I don't cycle defensively I probably wouldn't be here now. I think there should be an advertising campaign similar to the one regarding motorcycles.

>I'd like to also see some 'incentive' for the minority of pedestrians who cross the road in front my bike with their iPod in or chatting on the phone. >In the states it's called jay walking and the more I cycle/ride/drive in London the >more i think we could do with something similiar. I've been involved in umpteen accidents of this sort not just in my cycle courier days but even now. I mention somewhere else on this forum that I just brace for a crash cos most of the time if I brake hard I go over the handlebars and I'm damned if Im going to swerve around them and risk getting torpedoed from behind.

Just something that I have to put up with; I usually use the Greendale Cycle path when out riding it and always gets me that people walk on the cycle path instead of the footpath and then when I announce that I'm coming up behind them I get moaned at even though they are walking on the cycle route. Pearson- you wear Rapha??? I could only dream of affording Rapha. I'm afraid its Decathlon cycle clothing for the likes of me!

Im wearing my usual then

I know exactly what you mean Emerson. I was cock a hoop when our reject Nayim scored 'that goal' to beat Seaman from the half way lane for Zaragoza a few years back. When I saw Adebayor was in the Madrid side I would have bet my mortgage on that bugger scoring.

Simon says: >I thought the annual Southwark Show was at Southwark Park, not Burgess. It was 1 of three organised each summer at fornightly intervals in June & July by the Council? The other 2 were at Peckham Rye and Belair, the latter coinciding with the annual Steam mFair there. They were all cancelled for reasons of economy IIRC, but were always packed out and enjoyable except when it rained I'm going back a few years Simon (probably very late 80's early 90's!

Anyway Im off home on the bike now. Just have to insert the razor sharp swords in the wheels and I'm on my way(6)

Pearson I'm hurt:(

I always take the A40/North Circular route. When u get marble arch instead of going up the edgware road, turn left following signs for Bayswater and then follow signs 'A40 Oxford'. Then go onto the A406 North Circular and then pick up the M1 from there. I find it a lot faster then going up the Edgeware Road.

Pearson No- I've never gone through a Red light (hand on heart). Is that a doubtful look I detect?

By the way- I used to be a cycle courier in London and if ever a pedestrian walked out in front of us we would plough into them as braking hard suddenly would put us over the handlebars (I was hospitalised once like this) and swerving to avoid them would put us at risk of being hit by a vehcicle (two cyclists I knew died through this happening).

My friend was runover on Barry Road a couple of saturday's go by a cyclist who went through a red light on the pedestrian crossing. In my opinion he should have been charged. Im a cyclist and how many times Ive stopped at a red light waiting patiently while another cyclist decked out like Lance Armstrong trundles through. It makes my angry.

There used to be an annual 'Southwark Show' at Burgess Park. What happened to that? I remember they used to have a funfair there until a large group of 'yoots' attacked and attempted to dismantle the Octopus ride.

>He is around 50 - 60 years old, dresed in a suit, with noticably bandy legs, fairly plump or a typical build for a man of that age, short dark hair with touches of grey. Comes across very professional, trusting and personable. Ive seen a man answering this discription living in a Blue Travellers van parked in Rodwell Road.

??? Wrote ------------- >Football hooliganism was virtually haulted overnight when poeple started getting 5 year sentences for it rather than >sociologists blaming it on unemplyment It was because of better policing and stewarding

A nun gets into a cab and the driver keeps staring at her through the rear view mirror. "You know, Sister," the cab driver says, "I hope you aren't too offended, but I've always had this fantasy of getting a blowjob from a nun." The nun thinks for a moment and says, "I'm not too offended. I just have two requirements. One, that you be single, and two, that you be Catholic." "Oh yes, Sister, I am single and Catholic," the cab drive replies, so they pull into an alley and the nun proceeds to satisfy the cab driver orally. After they're done, the cab driver begins laughing. "What's so funny?" the nun asks. "Ha ha!" the cab driver annnounces, "I fooled you sister. The truth is I'm really married and I'm a protestant!" "That's okay," the nun replies, "My name is Bob and I'm on my way to a fancy dress party." A young woman buys a mirror at an antique shop, and hangs it on her bathroom door. One evening, while getting undressed, she playfully says "Mirror, mirror, on my door, make my bustline forty four". Instantly, there is a brilliant flash of light, and her breasts grow to enormous proportions. Excitedly, she runs to tell her husband what happened, and in minutes they both return. This time the husband crosses his fingers and says "Mirror mirror on the door, make my penis touch the floor!". Again, there's a bright flash...and his legs fall off. A A beautiful, voluptuous woman went to a gynecologist. The doctor took one look at this woman and all his professionalism went out the window. He immediately told her to undress. After she had disrobed the doctor began to stroke her thigh. Doing so, he asked her, "Do you know what I'm doing?" "Yes," she replied, "you're checking for any abrasions or dermatological abnormalities." "That is right," said the doctor. He then began to fondle her breasts. "Do you know what I'm doing now?" he asked. "Yes," the woman said, "you're checking for any lumps or breast cancer. "Correct," replied the shady doctor. Finally, he mounted his patient and started having sexual intercourse with her. He asked, "Do you know what I'm doing now?" "Yes," she said. "You're getting herpes; which is why I came here in the first place."

This guy walks into a bar in the Rhonda Valley and orders a white wine. Everybody sitting around the bar looks up, surprised, and the bartender looks around and says: "You ain't from around here, are ya... where ya from, boy?" The guy says, "I'm from Guildford." The bartender asks, "What th' hell you do in Guildford?" The guy responds, "I'm a taxidermist." The bartender asks, "A taxidermist... now just what th' hell is a taxidermist?" The guy says "I mount animals." The bartender grins and shouts out to the whole bar, "It's OK boys, he's one of us!"

2 african doctors in the hospital canteen are in deep discussion; Dr 1- "It is W.O.O.M.B.E prenounced woomba"! Dr 2- "No no no! I must catagorically disagree, it is "W.O.M.B.E.E. prenounced woombee"! And so the 2 Drs argued. At the next table another Dr on hearing the argument getting more heated decided to intervene in case it got violent Dr 3- "Excuse me gentleman but I'm an eminent Gynaecologist and you are both wrong. It is W.O.M.B. prenounce womb"!. On this he got up and left. Dr1- "Fuck me! How does he know the sound an elephant makes when it shits"?

Man goes into a warehouse looking for a job. Foreman:"Ok. I'll ask you 2 questions. Can you operate a forklift truck?" Man: "Yes I can" Foreman: "Can you make tea?" Man: "Fuck me how big's the tea pot?"