VanessaPMR

..right, now that has got me crying at work...

Wise forumites, my two and a half year old has always been a very fussy eater but seemed to have got over it about 6 months ago. She ate a limited range of all food groups until 5 days ago. She seems to be on a food strike now, eating only a tiny lunch each day, no breakfast or dinner. She also seems to be really enjoing the distress this is causing, despite my best poker face being deployed (it's ok you don't need to eat if you are not hungry). What to do? I fear (torture myself) that this is due to me returning to work (been back for 3 weeks now). She has also started regressing pretending to be a baby again and night wakings... Actually, now I've written it down it's become much clearer... Need to spend more time with her..somehow.

Thank you so, so much for the update Strawbs. I plan to re-read it to myself on a regular basis, I am also regularly on the verge of tears at the idea of going back to work in three months time...( I know, its ages away) ...though, I am totally a shadow of my former working self (crushed daily by total exhaustion) and will no doubt love reacquainting myself with who I was once back at work properly.. ..

My daughter currently shouts: 'stop speaking French, no no no French..' and clasps her hands over her ears whenever I try to engage her in a little French chat. She is 2 and a half (almost..). However, she does indulge my mother's attempts..

etta166, you are right! I was responding a little too quickly to one of the posts in particular... sorry. The right Nanny with the right family is the childcare dream, no doubt. I do think, however, that when things go wrong (which they wont always do, thankfully) the implications are much more difficult to deal with when you are talking about an employee whose workplace is your home and whose job task is: bringing up your children.

I must say this thread has inadvertently become quite the advertisement for Nurseries. I guess the other thing one needs to think about before hiring a Nanny is: as a parent do you feel able to deal with the inevitable conflict that exists between employer and employee, in your home and over your children...

Local teacher, I come from a long line of teachers (grandparents, parents, in-laws...) so tend to be v aware of the struggles to maintain standards by teachers, many of whom frequently work unpaid overtime without complaint just to see the job done well. However, I am aware that many of those on the outside of teaching don't recognise this and just see the long summer hols... Could you outline the negative changes you are striking against? It would help garner support I imagine?

I'd support the strike.

Does anyone know why the logical policy of fining people who don't pick up after their dogs isn't in play? Even if people cant afford the fine (or if we dont like fines and want a different disincentive) surely offenders could be required to turn up for a day of picking up other peoples discarded dog poos? It costs the council money to clear it up, it costs the council to take the phone calls when we report dog mess that needs clearing..

Ha! My daughter has gone through a phase of doing exactly the same with her soother (which she also needs (really really wants) for sleep). We actually did pop up (every 5 mins) to give her her soothers back.. but with as little fun interaction as possible, only telling her that it was bedtime and time to go to sleep and that it was naughty to throw the soothers on the floor. She only does it very occasionally now.. and does so with a HUGE cheeky grin on her face. She tends to do it on days when she's had less interaction with us than she'd like.. (which often has no relationship with the amount of quality time she did get..sigh). xx

Yup, Amy et al. I'm with you on this one, and will also be experiencing a negative wage (i.e. actually paying out MORE in childcare than I will be earning in my net wages) just to keep a foothold in employment.. does that count as slave status? Well obviously not, as it was a 'decision' I took, but honestly, talk about lack of support for working (and indeed non-paid) working mothers.. And as a portion of my wages go to the exchequer in taxes...surely, I should have some say as to how it is spent? i.e. not by squandering the talent of its female workforce by literally pricing them out of paid employment. Rant over due to Raa Raa being over..sigh

I dont think its that au pairs are not considered to be important bodsier, I think its rather that some of us are tired of threads where mothers are demonised, either directly or indirectly. Obviously treating any worker badly is problematic.... but the subject title sort of boils down to... nasty mums..doesnt it? Also, and I dont think its an inaccurate guess, the number of forum members who are fortunate enough to have a property large enough that they would be able to house an au pair is so tiny that going 'off topic' is getting more interest. I think its democracy in action.

Shouldn't the subject title really be: treating mothers like (unpaid) slaves really upsets me? At least its something we can all agree on ;-) xx V

hello all Sorry if this is a bit clueless, but is there still a meeting planned for this Tuesday morning at the gardens? i've failed to make the earlier meet ups so am a bit out of the loop. xx Vanessa

Hello All, Would love to join you for a toddler and baby session soon, but I don't think I'll be quite up to such an adventurous outing this week. Hugo was born on the 15th of May, is very well, though also a very hungry baby (he only seems happy with a nipple in his mouth..). Look forward to catching up with you soon though, once I figure out how to get out the door with a jealous 2 year old and a perpetually hungry newborn... xx V

Another disgruntled customer who attends Fusion leisure centres considerably less frequently than I would like as it is so difficult to either purchase a ticket before hand or establish if there are free places before hand..so need to turn up and Q for a class only to be told there are no spaces... It is also not uncommon to be expected to wait in line for such long periods to purchase a ticket that a large portion of the class is over by the time you get to the reception desk. Oh, and I also don't bother trying to get through by phone.

I was brought up bilingual, and have many adult friends who were too. Some children take to bilingualism very easily others dont. A fairly large portion of my adult friends who were brought up bilingual don't speak the 'second' language at all now and also resent having had the additional pressure as children of having to say everything twice in two different languages... Or always being bad at communicating in one of the two languages. I am not for a second suggesting that that is what is happening here, just wanted to note that I have heard of many instances of toddlers and older children resisting the acquisition of a second language. Especially if it is frustrating their ability to communicate. We have three languages in our family and my daughter has a very clear preference for English (she is 23 months old and refuses to watch cartoons in the other languages for instance.. ) I am currently trying to find the balance between keeping communication channels open and encouraging her to speak/learn another language she seems to finds tedious...

We've been living on Bellenden road for 5 years now and really love it. Whats not to love? Ridiculously easy access to fab deli's, cafes, pubs, a book shop, a chocolate shop to die for...seriously the woman is a genius, and a brilliantly stocked mini market. And if you get bored of whats on offer on Bellenden you can meander down to lordship lane..not that I tend to... I think the busyness of the area gives it a lovely and I think safe feel. Re shouting woman outside the SLA..well, i can safely guess who that was, and frankly, that is very unusual, I tend to get a little nod and a smile.

I feel for you, I had horrible experiences with my first two Nannies. That was two years ago now, and I still get angry when I think of the shoddy service and zero professionalism we got... plus you do get caught in an emotional bind given the relationships formed with your children.. Ugh, anyhow, my main point is we now have the most wonderful person who is trustworthy, dependable (I work so being able to count on them turning up for work was a big crunch factor) and incredibly kind. I now realise that there is no point trying to make do with someone who isn't up to the job. Good luck.

I think Anderson's on Bellenden road are doing another Pop up this Friday with the lady from Persepolis..I think its an all veggie menu too... You'll most probably be sharing a table though, but the atmosphere tends to be great. V

Just a quick point. Someone stated that the research was about social networks? Most social network research does collect peoples names (which is not generally done in survey research to increase anonymity) too allow the researcher to show relationships between people. Any serious researcher should have obtained a consent form from the parents of the teenagers as they are minors however. So I think the protocol was dodgy, but not necessarily the activity.

In the mirror, look yourself squarely in the eye and say: I am a gorgeous and amazing mother and deserve to feel beautiful and happy today. ..then, if you have time, drag a brush through your hair.. ;-) xxx V

We always book a cab home for our babysitter, and a very long time ago when I babysat, I'd always be accompanied home too. V

Hello All, Re Franklins tomorrow morning at 10am. I have booked a slightly larger table than the number of people who said they could make it, so please do feel free to pop in! The more the merrier, and I have a feeling that this is going to be one of the last meet ups before we all have very important others demanding all of our attention (if you dont already have 1 or 2 of those already.. ;-) ). til soon! V

Hi Benmorag, Re: >"Another theory is that the legalization of abortion in the 1970s caused a significant fall in the crime rate about 18 >years later, since many of the criminals-to-be were never born. The economist who came up with this idea popularized it in >Freakonomics". This theory was debunked pretty much straight away by more thorough analysis: http://www.economist.com/node/5246700