oimissus

hanging on the peg on the back of her bedroom door.

well, if I had financial worries and the illness and death of relatives going on, as well as the usual stuff - children, work - that wouldn't be 'normal' or 'usual' and I would absolutely struggle to cope with life - I think you are downplaying how much you have been/are coping with. And agree that everyone copes differently with things, but honestly, it sounds like there has been a lot of stressful things going on in your life.

does anyone know if the water is on in Brockwell Park? Thanks!

Husband finds it hard to listen to this kind of stuff reading your post it jumped out at me that you don't mention him at all. How is he helping with this, do you co-parent well together? Because when I'm at the end of my tether DH steps in, and vice versa - if it's been a bad day he takes over from the minute he walks in the door. It's very hard to parent well when you feel unsupported. Off the top of my head it sounds like it could be antural reaction to several changes in her life, moving house, changing nursery, little brother coming along. I only have the one so can't advice on that, hopefully someone else will come along. But my DD has certainly had her vile moments and I sympathise, it's hard getting through them. I get 'you're not my best friend' a lot, I've now told her it's meaningless as she says it so much! I think earlier bedtime could be key, again not something I've had to do but hopefully someone will be along with advise for doing the bedtimes in tandem - bath together? Story for DD whilst baby has milk? Back to DD for quiet chat once baby is down? Sorry, not much help!

I'm a bit tipsy but excellent post by Saffron (too tipsy to read all your links, but I will do so tomorrow). D'you know what worries me more, as a mother of a girl? Things like a recent thread on Mumsnet, where, because a teacher failed to discipline some jeering boys properly, girls who had been doing handstands in the playground and thus their knickers were briefly on show were told to go inside and put shorts on under their frocks. That makes my blood boil. Primary-aged girls being taught that it's up to them to modify their clothing and/or behaviour because boys can't be expected to. And the number of women on that thread who supported this made me even angrier. Because it's only a hop, skip and a jump to that NHS poster doing the rounds suggesting that if a drunk woman is raped, it's her fault for being drunk. That's real. That's happening in our schools and playgrounds. That's something to get really angry about. If Miss Oi's school ever did such a thing I would be in there, all guns blazing. But Disney princesses? Nothing about the way they look is real - we've practically got Tangled on a loop at the moment and what I really see is Rapunzel's ludicrously huge eyes. Not her body shape. Nothing about her look is based in reality, so I find that easy to deal with. I really am rather tipsy, but I've been wanting to say that for a few days.

yes, my daughter and a friend's children were told off for running in the open space at the Horniman - there was no-one else there and we were keeping an eye on them so I really couldn't see what the problem was. And I say that as someone who doesn't allow her child to run in a supermarket or other inappropriate places. DPG I have always found rather snooty, even before having Miss Oi. And it annoys me beyond belief that you can't just pay to see an exhibition, you have to pay for the whole thing. Sort it out, DPG!

ooh, I'd be very interested in this for Miss Oi (also 4).

having recently had a nightmare journey down the M4, I would personally suggest getting as many miles under your belt as you possibly can before stopping - I would try to slog on through to Bristol at least before stopping (and yes, don't go down the M5 unless you;re heading to Exeter!).

we're about an hour too, I can't think how anyone can do it quicker! Bath, milk, teeth, stories, lights out, chat about the day and sing some songs. Mr Oi takes aaaages, but on weekdays it's his main time with Miss Oi. I try and whizz through a bit quicker, bur rarely manage it!

having given this some more thought (it's a slow day at work) I'm not sure what 'various' pink dresses the OP is referring to, as the only Disney princess in a pink dress is Aurora. I know Ariel has one but her costume is normally a mermaid one, isn't it? Even Tinker Bell isn't in pink. There does seem to be a view that if you 'allow' your daughter to wear pink and like princesses she will automatically grow up to become a subservient airhead. Do people think that all boys will join the armed forces and become mindless killers if they wear too much navy or khaki and play with action man?

I love watching Disney with my daughter! Watched Tangled today, it was great, Miss Oi liked the horse best (she's 4.5) and was cackling with laughter the whole way through. And we love Belle as she has brown hair and likes books like us, and is strong and brave and knows Gaston is a twat. If I thought Disney princesses would be the most enduringly important role models in her life then perhaps I would worry, but I don't. We read the (non-Disney) versions of the fairy tales and talk about the context and so on. And of course we watch lots of other stuff and she has lots of other figures that she plays with, making up her own, off-the-wall stories as she goes. I'm far more concerned about 'heroines' like feeble, vapid Bella Swann, who will pitch up at a far more impressionable age than Belle, Aurora and the rest. I work with a couple of younger women who were children during Disney's 2nd 'Golden Age' in the 90s; they watched the lot - doesn't seem to have stopped them starting out on the road to being successful career women. They were all big Harry Potter fans too, and you don't get much better than Hermione (who basically did all the brain work for Harry while he stomped around being angry all the time). Before I started watching the films with Miss Oi I felt similarly to you, but having started to watch them I'm not bothered and have been impressed with quite a number of them.

staff at Miss Oi's nursery often babysit for parents in the evening, and I know at least 2 who have gone on to be nannies for parents after they stopped working at the nursery. I don't know the legalities, but I can't see why on earth an ex-worker can't then be a nanny to nursery parents, seems very odd.

just had that exact same thought, carebear!

we have conrnflower blue (I think it's a Dulux paint) in our living room, it's a kind of bluey-grey, quite light. It has been much admired!

Otta - it might have been! It was about 2/3 years ago in All Fired Up, and if I remember rightly she was the little girl's paternal grandma. Does your mum sing in the choir at St Clement's - I saw this lady there one time (I'm not a regular there at all but I recognised her straight away).

I found the same Otta, but I can be quite shy with strangers. I think the only person I spoke to at Tippee Toes was Kim and a lovely grandma. As long as Miss Oi enjoyed herself I soldiered on going to things.

sounds horrible, but agree with Pickle, I don't think the bus is the place for this kind of thing.

yes, you're entitled to parental leave for this very reason. Luckily I found out about this last year so we've been saving our holiday, otherwise it would have been a nasty surprise. It's the first sign that, unlike nursery, schools aren't there to provide childcare for working parents! Bit of a shock to the system after nearly 3 years of 8-6 days at nursery no problem.

I took our 4 year old to see Amy at Kuki for her first haircut, she was very lovely with her.

sticker dolly dressing books.

yes, I wondered that about the CB, I thought one of the points of it was that it ensured that the mother had some money for the children, even if she didn't work. Which suggests he's claiming in some kind of fraudulent way - might be worth getting in touch with the child benefit people and getting it transferred into your own account.

the house is yours AND is the baby's home, those 2 things will stand you in very good stead (as I understand it, even if the house was his, if it's the family home you are in a strong position to stay). But, as it is, I would pack his bag and change the locks. Can you stay with your parents for a while? Do you work, do you have money of your own? I'm not an expert but his threats sound like a load of hot air. I think you can insist on supervised access if you have grounds to believe he will not care for her properly. Speak to a solicitor and Women's Aid. I'm so sorry to hear your story, but absolutely well done for seeing the situation for what it is and starting to plan a new life for yourself and your baby.

I always gave Miss Oi a cup of milk and read a few stories before getting her properly 'up'. She could still be a bit grumpy, mind you!

Hi, I'm looking for a childminder to pick up Miss Oi from Lyndhurst Primary School from September, and wondered if anyone could recommend someone. I'm new to finding a childminder (she's at a very local nursery for which I had a recommendation from a chum) and a bit at sea! I've got the Southwark list though I'm not sure how up-to-date it is. Feel free to PM me. thanks so much, I'm feeling rather feeble about it all - my baby is off to school! How did that happen!

we trekked down to Hastings for our first paddle of the year! It was lovely, in fact, busy but not too bad. Visited the Jerwood, had a ride on the mini railway and then went to Bateman's which was nice and quiet after the hustle of Hastings.