Michael Palaeologus

*Hands DM a cool dampened towel for her brow. Prepares a hot tody and a glass of cocodamol. Hands them over* *Mutters to self - "Where are James and Ana? The poor woman clearly needs to be in a sanatorium*

Swiftly soaks a pair of comfy socks in fine Viru Estonian vodka - slips them onto DMs feet - stands back awaiting miraculous cure .....

Global warming = rising sea levels because of melting ice caps - or does it? The ice caps mostly cover the sea, in solid form they have greater volume than in liquid. Thus the icecaps displace a signficantly greater volume of water than they create when they melt.Thus melting ice caps will cause the sea levels to stay the same - least, they may cause the sea levels to fall as themassive displacement effect the ice caps reduces. We have for some time been in an inter-glatial period - ie we are actually still in an ice age, we are just experiencing a short warm intermission of a few hundreds of thousands of years. The plunge back into the ice age is inevitable. Ghia will be free of us pesky humans and a bunch of other unfit creatures and will continue spinning in her own sweet way.

What about "The Soviet" idea (dreamed up in a pub funnily enough)- a separate area for political debates. That would allow threads that have veered off onto a political debate/slanging match to be deposited in the Soviet (or "Gulaged") to allow those that can be arsed to continue to fight the class war while the rest of us worry about mushy peas, white stuff and the real issues of life.

*Oh DM - no no no - offers old (and genuine) Estonian flu cure - soak your socks in vodka before putting them on and then go to bed... honestly. The Estonians are all a bit mad though - love them to bits, but barking - its the 22 hours of daylight I think*

Oy - Sainsburys-Bod. Why didnt you ask our beloved Dulwich Mum to open the Starbucks? She is a celeb AND positively apostolic when it comes to her fave coffee emporium - especially in the face of the usual tirades about globalisation/neo-colonialism and lack of parking from the nihilist eco-class warriors of the parish.

Anybody fancy Estonian pickled herring in mustard sauce....? Thought not.

*Chocolate fountain springs into being - beside it are kebab sticks packed with stawberry, pineapple and marshmallows: Hands DM a big bib*

Personally, I like a lttle fawning and grovelling

I like their Vanilla ice cream

Oops!!!:-$

I have a chocolate fountain..would that do?

He is and has been for some 30 years or more.

Hmm DM - how may peeled grapes for the delectable Ana to come round and clean my gaff?

or were you there to re-baise it and fell asleep on the job?

We're already in the Lounge - clearly Mr Admin is now doing silent Lounging - sneaky

Bit too relevant Snorky - lets try this: My credit card was eaten by a giant mauve lobster that had escaped from the Sea Cow - has anybody else had a similar experience?

No - nothing like it

*Peels grape - hands to citizenED*

Oooh the thought - actually it reminds me of an old college story - but not to be repeated here I think..

Hmm - better add some liquid Savlon DM - it looks a bit sore.

Beast!

*Takes hold of a random part of citizenED and gives a tug - waits to see result - its either a satisfying PLOP or a squeal of outrage.....*

He is fickle that Piers ...

Thank you Mr Admin!