Twirly

I tried going from Bond Street to Peckham Rye on the way home (I finish that job at lunchtime) to test it out - it still took an hour, as I had to wait nearly 15 minutes for the Overground at Canada Water. (Other routes have been varied - down to Brixton on the Victoria line and the 37, tube to either LB or Victoria and then the train, all take best part of an hour.) I figure that it might work as an alternative if I've just missed the train to Victoria (my favoured route, still, and the ones I've been catching haven't been withdrawn, luckily), or the trains aren't working on that route. However, what happens if the Jubilee line is out of action? What are the alternatives from Canada Water? From Peckham Rye, if Victoria trains aren't working I can get to various other stations, and then get buses or tubes (or buses from Peckham if it's really bad). Are there any buses from Canada Water into the West End, or if the Jubilee line is out, am I stuck until it comes back up again? Even on the way home, if I get stuck at an interchange, I can get the bus from Victoria or LB - and if the worst comes to the worst, I could just about walk from LB. There just seems to be something counter-intuitive to go east when going to the West End!

Salsaboy Wrote: ------------------------------------------------------- > And what they are doing is actually legal. It's > the government that needs to change the law. Precisely

Yet another reason to support small, local, independent businesses.

I wonder if part of the problem is "tolerance levels". If you don't have kids, your tolerance levels are probably fairly minimal. If you're used to your little darlings running around the house all day making as much noise as they like, then you're probably much more tolerant of what others might consider "bad behaviour". Just a thought.

I was thinking about the speed bumps/cushions as I drove to Balham today. Part of the problem is the positioning. They place three across the road. If you want to go over them evenly, which I have always assumed is safer/better for your car, you have to go in the middle of the road, or risk scraping the car on your left. If two, rather than three, humps could be put in the road, you could stay in your lane quite comfortably - and they'd save money on tarmac too.

So sorry to hear that. Hope you're OK.

Artful - would the shops necessarily need to open for longer, or just vary they're opening hours a bit? As I said, open a bit later on certain days and close later, so they're still open for the same period of time. I imagine there are people who shop very early maybe on their way home from a night shift, and some market research would probably need to be done, but, judging by rush hour, most people still work office hours.

I have, mostly, had a bit of a thing for older men. At 15, a 17 year old seems a lot older and more sophisticated, but that wasn't enough for me. At 16 there was the 30+ year old (I had left school, and our meeting had nothing to do with school - and who held off as he thought I might be under age!), the next one at 16/17 was 21, then at 17/18 there were a couple of 40+ year olds (but then I had a year or two as a bit of a wild-child, before that term had been coined). This is all early-mid 80s. But I am pretty sure that I was the exception. At school there was some kudos if you had a slightly older boyfriend, but mostly it was only a year or two. And yes, there was the general opinion that girls were more mature than boys, which seemed to account for it. I am now married to a man 5 years my junior... and still friends with the guy whom I met at 16.

Geoff the fishmonger in Northcross Road on Saturday morning's is good, apart from his salmon which for some odd reason is always flabby. But his undyed smoked haddock and smoked mackerel are wonderful.

It's probably been commented on elsewhere, but people who park so that they take up at least two places. Guy parked up in my road last week near the disabled parking bay, but just far enough away from it for another car to not be able to fit in. One foot further back and you'd have managed to get another car in. Then he didn't move it for a week (I know it was a guy, as I saw him park up). Was sorely tempted to put a note on his car to ask him to park more considerately, but haven't quite got that bad yet, so just fumed a bit instead... but if he does it again!

Not relevant to ED, but some friends who have one and live in Haslemere can't get insurance for theirs now if it's parked on the street, so have had to hire a garage, precisely because they get stolen so often. So ArtfulDodger is right - tighten up security as much as possible. Edited to say really sorry to hear about the theft.

Ukjoncollins Wrote: > My new years this year was to shop locally. > Although cost doesn't put me off that much as most > stuff is available for around the same price, non > of the local shops are open at the times I need > them to be. Ways people shop have obviously > changed in the last 50 years but unfortunately the > local shops are still operating the same opening > hours. I'd like to see the shops like WR and > Moxtons opening till 8pm a couple of times a week > to enable us 9-5 (or 10-6 in my case) folk to > still do our shopping. Totally agree with you. I now work part-time (and am trying to run two businesses as well!), so it's easier to get to them, but when I was 9-5.30, the only time I could get to SMBS and Pretty Traditional, which is where I shop most of the time, was the weekend. I don't understand why, on one or two days a week, they couldn't open a bit later and close later. I'm sure they would do lots of business once people realised. And if it became a thing that happened with lots of shops (maybe more than food shops) on, say, Wednesday evenings (as if you shop at weekends mostly, Wednesday would be a good day to top things up), then Lordship Lane would be a lot busier on that night.

There is some great advice on this thread. You sound as if you're on a bit of a treadmill, and can't find a way to get off it. You will though, eventually. You also sound as if you need more of a support network. Do you have any friends whom you can open up to a bit? Break through the isolation? You may find that their lives are not quite as rosy as you thought. As a quote I saw recently said "The reason we struggle with insecurity is because we compare our behind-the-scenes with everyone else's highlights reel." So don't feel as though everyone else is doing better than you, appearances can be deceptive. Don't let your pride separate you from others. In terms of your mortgage, although it's not a permanent solution, would your mortgage provider consider letting you go onto interest only for a period of time? Or extending the period of the mortgage? You'll end up paying more in the long run, but it may reduce your monthly payments so you can cope more easily. Definitely talk to them, as it's not in their interests that you default. As others have said, it really sounds as if you need some good advice on this issue. If you don't feel able to go to the doctor about what does sound like depression, then try contacting MIND. http://www.mind.org.uk/help Years ago my GP referred me to them for counselling, which I did have to pay for, but which was reduced as I wasn't earning very much at the time (I think it was ?10 per session, but that is over 15 years ago). Even getting information might help, make you feel more in control of things. It's great that you've reached out on here and got a discussion going that might help others too. So many of us have suffered with depression, some have it for a short time, others have recurring bouts. But it's so rarely talked about.

Like a lot of others above, I tend to do a bit of a mix. I normally do a big Sainsbury's shop, using the car, for heavy stuff that I don't want to lug around and that keeps (fruit juice, rice, pasta, loo roll, cleaning products etc.) every 2-3 weeks (would only go once a month, but haven't got room to store it all), and then shop in the local shops for fruit and veg (Pretty Traditional), fish (in the market on Saturdays) and other bits and pieces (SMBS). Plus the Co-op for some stuff. This I try to do just once a week, takes an hour or so, so not too onerous. If I'm pressed for time then I have to admit that the local shop won't happen, and I get all the fruit and veg for the week in Sainsbury's if I'm also doing the big shop there, but I hate doing that. I like to mix it up :)

Hope my warning helped people - saw the chaos at about 8.15 this morning, including people who obviously didn't know the bus stop was going to be closed (luckily as the bus was stuck in traffic, the bus driver let them on even though the stop was closed). Thought my phone was going to die before I finished posting!

A quick heads up that they've got roadworks and traffic lights here this morning, so the traffic is heavier than normal. Plus the bus stop for the 484 and 37 on East Dulwich Road is closed.

I agree that owners shouldn't allow their dogs to approach other people, particularly children (whether or not they can control them with voice commands). Kids can be scared of dogs, even if their parents aren't, and being approached even by a lovely, friendly dog, could make that worse. I don't have a problem with most dogs, and will happily make a fuss of them (can't have any pets where we live now, but when we move am hoping to get a dog and/or cat). As for dogs swimming in the pond - surely they're not supposed to do that as it'd scare the wildlife, particularly the ducks etc. when they're breeding? And that pond hardly looks clean. Would you really want your dog covered in all the crud in there, and then spreading it around?

Complain to the post office. There's another thread about missing post - have just posted our experiences on it, and we've had similar.

We've had some fun with the post too of late. There was the one left outside the door, for all to see (and steal), there was the card put through the door, which, when I took it to the sorting office, but it had no house number on (apparently a new postie who hadn't quite got to grips with things and had been doing that a lot), and just the other day the classic - my husband heard a van pull up outside and so went downstairs expecting a doorbell to be rung in one of the flats in our block, to see the postie walk up to the door and go to put the card through the letterbox, without even bothering to ring any of the doorbells first (just as I've always suspected!). Hubby opened the door up, and he did at least have the grace to look slightly embarrassed.

One thing that I've found living around here is that being flexible on your transport options is a really useful attitude! Just be warned that taking any bus that goes via the Elephant and Castle can have delays on some days and not on others. I decided to trial an alternative route for the Olympics (I have to get to Mayfair, so thought I'd get the bus to E&C, then the Bakerloo line to Oxford Circus, seemed easy enough). Unfortunately, on the day I did it, there was an accident so the ambulance was blocking the road and we had alternate single file traffic... I got to work 45 minutes late (despite having allowed extra time). Of course, the train could have been cancelled if I'd been taking that somewhere. Hence my suggestion that you should keep an eye on the train live departures. I don't remember the trains to Blackfriars being particularly crowded in the mornings. I was getting there for 9am, and I'm pretty sure I got a seat more often than not. Good luck with working out a good route.

I used to commute to Blackfriars daily, arriving at 9, so not far away from you. My advice would be make sure you check the live train departures on your phone. If the trains are up the spout, then stay on the 63, if they're running fine, then get the train as it is generally much quicker (unless money is an issue, and you only want the bus pass). I often used to get the bus home, rather than hang around waiting for a train, as it made little difference (there was often a 20 minute wait till the next one - would rather be on a nice warm bus!). And on the way home you can catch the 45 or 100 to Elephant and Castle and get another bus from there (including the 363, and a choice of several others if you don't mind going Lordship Lane rather than Peckham Rye side of ED). On the way home I did it on a few occasions, desk to home using train and then bus, in 35 minutes. Best commute I ever had!

Am so sorry to hear about Gatwick's fate, and can only imagine how upset you can be.

Googled and fund this picture and article: http://www.standard.co.uk/news/crime/police-raid-13-cannabis-farms-8160050.html (which quite amused me...)

If only they'd listened and turned it into a Waitrose!

Cyberia - that's a nice theory, but it doesn't always work like that on the Goose Green roundabout, particularly when approaching from East Dulwich Road. Sometimes you think you're clear, there's no pedestrians on the zebra, you start off onto the roundabout when someone whips around from Grove Vale and gets in front of you, and you're stuck on the crossing. It's a shame there isn't enough space between the crossing and the white line for the roundabout to fit a car into. Having said that, it's rare I approach in a car at any speed that would prevent me from giving way to someone on the crossing, and as a pedestrian, I can't say that I've ever had a problem either. Mind you, I always use my Paddington Bear hard stare on drivers when using a zebra crossing ;-) Recently, I have noticed some drivers stopping at the red light on a Pelican crossing (or other traffic light controlled pedestrian crossing - can't remember the different types), letting the pedestrian across, and then shooting off whilst the traffic lights are still clearly red! Why do people have to be in such a hurry? And how come more of them aren't caught and done for this sort of behaviour?!