dulwichgirl2

WHAT???!!! THis is unbelievable. Your husband must be very shaken. Dear God. what next????

My all-time favourite topic. Where would you recommend for the following: 1. sunshine (June trip) 2. short flight and transfer 3. all inclusive or full board - I've had enough of everyone's fussyness the other 50 weeks of the year. 4. plenty of friends and things to do in the resort for children in particular - junior school age and pre school. 5. lots of other families around, maybe British, maybe not. 6. evening entertainment of some description for everyone - mini disco or similar. 7. decent food and wine for my husband who would prefer a sort of pre children gourmet break, but isn't getting one. Oh and we don't want to pay THAT much. Is it all too much to ask? THank you!

Publisher's purpose achieved - create a storm. zzzzz Actually she's American isn't she? She could well be thinking of elective sections where her 4/6 weeks suggestion would not be as surprising as with pv births.

Just wondering how you handle the "show-arounds". Women will probably not want to do those on their own and, equally, women tenants might not feel so comfortable? Maybe meet ina public place first? Not sure

We have deliberately held back all of our children to the extent that my smallest daughter (just 2) will bring letters to me and tell me what they are and I will say great, let's go to the park. I was scared they would be put off or bored by organised letter recognition sessions, hence this approach. I am a tiger mum but in reverse!

Most responses focus on the child and the effect on the family. Few focus on the immorality of accepting benefits that others have paid into from their hard earned cash. Put it this way: why should the bus driver with a family to feed, the single woman working at tesco or the factory worker pay into a pot that the hypothetical person is choosing to take benefits from? That is where the immorality lies- expecting others to work to look after you and your family.

LM, What are you looking for exactly? Just lots of exposure to other children? (Incidentally, I would avoid Buds. My husband and I took our youngest ch away after attending the initial welcome day. I was pretty shocked by various things I saw, suddenly with a more discerning maternal eye than when I had just been round for tours.) DVPS will give you the socialisation you seek for your ch plus I quite liked some of the assistants. They make them line up, show manners and generally behave, in total contrast with Buds, which is a free for all. DVPS big negative for me was the verandah thing they have. I just feared too much that a child could easily fall off and break something. If you can get over that or if they have safeguards in place, maybe you'd like it? In terms of cost, once your ch is 3, some places offer 5 free mornings/afternoons so, if you can find one of these nurseries, you could spread the cost now over a few years, as it were. Lastly, could you go to classes? eg Bea's baby bop, Crystal Palace Club, Beckenham Spa mini gymn, Tumbletots, Tippeetoes, etc might give contact with other ch and not break the bank!

Just ordered a copy courtesy of messrs amazon. Looking forward. The reviews are excellent and it's difficult to write an entertainig book about serious topics. Waiting for the post now .....

Uncleglen, excellent scheme and a shame it was ended. I have no idea of the rationale for ending it... Children from poorer families got a chance they would not otherwise have had??? Errr isn't that a great thing? Your children were extremely lucky and you did absolutely the right thing for them. I am astonished that colleagues might ask whether you regretted the choice. Bonkers. Incidentally, you are quite right- private schools have cornered the market in formal education. Forget Latin - I mean basic English!

Sorry to raise this but are you factoring in that the ten pounds is probably being quoted net?

Have more skin to skin cuddles - I was always worried they got colds/peed on me and the bedclothes..... Avoid bubblebath as it invariably causes exzema if any fun at all. Be strict even when tired. It saves time as they are past masters in negotiation and pushing boundaries from day 1. Show them a lot of love and cuddles from both you and your husband early on- you are forming habits and brain trails.... And most of the posts above!

Why so negative everyone? Is the current provision so spectacular that you can't conceive of better? Aren't there frequent threads on here complaining about inflexible schooling failing to provide for all children? Surely increasing the range of education on offer would address some at least of these concerns? I didn't attend a Steiner school but I know a few people who did and I wouldn't dismiss a further local option for education out of hand as previous posters are doing, unfairly perhaps?

Tiny prints too and the Times and Telegraph. I thought tp quite expensive but didn't have time to investigate further the first time and thereafter it was easier to stick with what we knew. Far less work than writing proper letters in a timely fashion post partum three times!

Thank you so much! I can see the scenes you are describing...

We prefer Barbados to the other Caribbean islands. Lots of good hotels there most with creches if family orientated. Go before you have to pay for the lo! and before she wants to run up and down the aisle of 'planes for 8 hours. Gosh, what I woulnd't give for a sunny break - have fun!

MGolden, No - I'm re interpreting their statements of the complete opposite, along the lines of "We'll be fine". Congratulations on your mother's tremendous spirit and ability to cope. At 87, that's great. She's lucky to get lots of visitors and people to keep her lively. As Beth says, the organising of events and stimulating activities makes such a difference, actually for all of us, now that I think about it. We all need a full time recreational director!

Vickster, the local State provision is not necessarily what you would want for your parents, hence the issue for many people of selling principal home to pay for the care or buying insurance against care costs, that sort of thing. Morally, you raise an interseting and logical point with cruises/care costs. I am not the one to answer it as it doesn't apply to us - as above posts show! - but I'd be interested to hear what others think on it. I'd/my siblings would ask my parents to come and live with us if it were just an issue of old age. I have no prob doing this. They would love seeing more of their gchidren. It would, "make" their remaining years. If it were an issue of actual health, requiring a nurse etc., I'd get one into my house as opposed to my parents' house. (Unfortunately, the issue of moving house and leaving friends reduces as parents age and their friends are no longer here.) Parental old age seems to have crept up on us - some people were getting organsied when they were in their late 50s and it is a good idea to do so, before issues of mortality are serious ones.

Sorry - before anyone thinks we are an evil bunch taking taking taking from our elderly relatives can I just stress it is a constant fight to get them to accept anything from us. You should see the scenes in the restaurant with my father sprinting to pay, propelled by my mother and my husband sitting smugly as he knows he paid after the starter (or similar). They don't see the point of mega luxury when they want to help us and get us bigger houses etc. I really don't want us to sound evil on this as I will do the same - pls believe me forumites!

Yes exactly - which bankrupts the consumer but is great for the cruises companies and the schools! Incidentally, I was very independent and refused all help after 15 - fool that I was as I will still feel I have to cough up for my descendants!

Yes it makes a difference. Have you been round these schools? Your children's education is probably the best investment of time, attention and if necessary finance, that you will ever make.

Sb and other poster, Well as I said, all families are different. This is how mine operates and how I would expect to operate with my gch. It works as long as you don't get out of sync as I said. Please demonstrate tolerance of other people's approaches to life. I even stated that my husband finds this over the top so I can see there is a range of views. There is no need or justification for the angry tone of your responses.

Surely it all depends on why you want to buy. If you want to live in it, buy here and bite the bullet in terms of mortgage. If you want to rent it out, buy elsewhere where there is still value and uplift to come and let someone else live there while the area improves. Nunhead springs to mind though I find it a bit dull tbh. It could be very pretty and is better in my view at least than the much pricier area around the pottery art cafe place. Any thoughts? Sorry - not really on topic I know. Property carries you away!

Thanks SLH. :-)

Randlesdown Road? Have not been but I think it's there.... Or Yorkshire of course...

Many thanks Ladies. Is Rascals similar to Gambado - ie massive "cage" or the open gymn with small specific things? I do like Gambado but it gets expensive when you go a lot but not quite enough to justify membership....