*Bob*

My Gran had hers for so long I thought she might want to be buried with it. As it was, she opted for one of those wicker basket-style eco-coffins. One of the staff at 'The Crem' told me (after the curtains had closed etc) that, ironically, it took more gas to burn the 'eco' ones because the hardwood timber used in standard coffins help the combustion process along. How we laughed!

I can't be 100% sure, daizie, but I'm pretty sure making crack cocaine is not covered under the manufacturer's warranty.

Microwaves are the work of the devil. Water molecules oscillating at great speed to produce heat?! Pull the other one.

Surely the doctor can pursue 'just cause' or 'provocation' as a valid line of defence? I'm thinking in particular of 'Earth Song'.

The great thing about having a personal, private doctor on your payroll is that they are more inclined to give you whatever you ask for even if, deep down, they know they shouldn't. The moonwalking hopped-up kiddyfiddling cartoon-faced freak only has himself to blame.

Edited 1 time. 2 time(s). 3 time(s), Last edit was today, 3.13pm by The Fugees.

KidKruger Wrote: ------------------------------------------------------- > If posters want to accuse others of not being > genuine, either as to who they say they are, or in > the information being posted, why not accuse them > directly via a Personal Message ? The freedom to 'out' suspected ne'er-do-wells in an open fashion, should you feel you have cause, is an essential tool and natural check against the freedom for any old Tom, Dick or Harry to register, log-on and tell 12,000 potential readers that they, for example, own a highly recommended chateau in France. Famous 'Busteds!' - of which there have been countless on here - are all part of the fun.

Hope so, *Bob*

Anytime, *Bob* - see you around?

Thanks, *Bob*

Here you go, Shorty

Me. I love having a phone which I can drop, leave in the pub or smash with a hammer without a care in the world. And even though it doesn't double as an ocarina when you blow into the microphone, it seems to work just fine as a phone. And my ?8.99 monthly bill (for more minutes and texts than I ever need) from Orange is a delight.

I just checked.. as it happens, Apple only engrave iPods. Apparently they can't do iPhones because they are made from a different material which is non-engrave-friendly. I can't comment on the warranty issue of engraving your iPhone yourself. Except to say that if you do engrave it, you probably deserve not to have one. That said, if you are thinking of engraving, I suggest going with 'to the love of my life' or similar - so you can transfer it to the next love of your life, if need be.

woofmarkthedog Wrote: ------------------------------------------------------- > Well ( lean in here so no one else can hear this ) > I ordered two i-phones one each for LadyW**F & > myself, yes one black & one white. Is this to be what you might call 'a modern valentines day gift'? Oh my God.. you're not getting them engraved are you?!!

legalbeagle Wrote: ------------------------------------------------------- > Good research though. I've known some married > people follow that advice, but perhaps that's > another story..... For sure. Not only does my scientific advice offer a shallow and futile means of attempting to deal with a serious relationship breakdown, the very same steps could also be used to good effect as a particularly cowardly means of ending a relationship in the first place.

Well the shrink-couch, words of wisdom stuff is all very well on paper. I was more suggesting the practical things people can do to pass the time over the next crappy year or so to come - according to personal research and experience, I might add.

Start-off on a self-destructive path of trying to cop-off with all the people you wish you 'could have' whilst you were still in a relationship - but end-up copping off with the ones you never gave a thought to because they're the only ones who offer. Shamelessly contact ex-girlfriends on Facebook / Friends Reunited. Then, have a short-lived relationship (3-4 months, tops) with someone you're not that bothered about, knowing you can get out of it relatively easily by looking all vulnerable and saying it's 'too soon' to get into anything heavy. Briefly consider - then quickly reject - Guardian Soulmates. Pencil-in a couple of bunk-ups with the Ex too, for good measure.

Yesterday's news, ????. This week is all about who John Terry did or didn't stick his knob in.

You need a Powermat, Brendan. Simply fit your phone with a Powermat receiver (purchase separately from Powermat) then lay your phone carefully on the mat to charge it up, making sure the mat is turned on and the correct surface area of the phone is in contact with the correct surface area of the mat. Takes all the hassle and effort out of charging your phone the old-fashioned way.

Brendan Wrote: ------------------------------------------------------- > To me the most annoying thing about a mobile > (along with it ringing when I?m carrying my > shopping on the bus or beeping when I?m trying to > have a nap) is the fact that I have to charge it > once a week. If I had to charge it every day I > just wouldn?t bother no matter how much fancy shit > it did. You're not really built for the modern age, are you Brendan?

Definitely British too. As British as Rhodesia. At least. Maybe more.

Any oil in the vicinity of them there Malvinas? Oh yeah.. as it happens..

It's not even a straightforward matter of personality. It's likeability. Boris Becker didn't have much of a personality - and he had no problems getting cheered-on by the English crowd. And he was German.

The absolute bollox shitestorm in a teacup over MP's expenses will will weigh more heavily on most people's minds when it comes to putting a cross in a box.