Come on, Neilly.. Even if you are a 'regular', your attempts at bagging a turkey come across as decidedly suss. It's the middle of November, which means you've left it too late (the sign regarding turkey ordering has been up for ages). You're trying to order it over the phone (bizarre) and send your mysterious boyfriend in to collect. No doubt you were irritated when they said you couldn't have one and now it's stewed into something postworthy. You sound like one of those people on 'Airport' who's arrived a minute late to check-in and starts throwing a wobbler.