*Bob*

I'll PM you to discuss, Asset. Though I'm thinking 'Equinox' on Leicester Square might be an appropriate venue?

Could we organise a surprise birthday party far Alan? Toilet attendants. Change on silver trays. Strippers. The works.

Fortunately, there's always plenty of space to splash-around in the disabled loo. There are perks, you know.

Does anyone else - anyone AT ALL - think that toilet attendants are a good thing? Don't all shout at once.

We could have 'Topless Tuesdays'.

I can just see you now, Alan, emerging from that toilet. Chewing gum. Fresh splash of Kouros. Top pocket brimming with Chupa Chups. Money well-spent.

I'm sure he did allsorts before his well-connected squeeze managed to get him a break.

Reasons for bars employing toilet attendants (in order of actual importance) 1. To create an impression (now hopelessly outdated) of 'exclusivity' 2. To put people off doing coke in cubicles. 3. To stop people having sex in cubicles. 4. To keep the toilets clean. (4) Rarely ever occurs, as the unpaid attendant is too busy thrusting tissues at people and trying to make eye contact so they feel guilty enough to leave a tip.

Alan, did you say you spent some formative years in Cleethorpes? This would explain your comedy 'northern mentality' towards toilet attendants. "eee.. they 'ad a man in't toilet passin' t'soap an' all.. it were just like buckingham palace, I tell you.."

It's the truth! I can be sarcastic and realistic, you know.

I suppose, when selling a ?650k property, the owners would rather not have the viewing conducted by someone dressed head-to-toe in waterproofs with mud speckles on their face, 'helmet hair', and oil on their boots. It's ok for pizza, but then they only get as far as the doorstep.

Alan, I'm sure you see having an asylum seeker (basically) begging for money in a toilet as the last word in London Glitz. But I don't.

What about a bit of paper in a newsagent's window advertising your gaff? (Charged at 25p/week)

Change on a silver tray. Change on a SILVER TRAY. Along with bars which have a 'toilet attendant' hovering around with lotions and potions whilst you're just trying to have a piss, this is surely one of the biggest blights on our great capital.

We could install giant steel pegs outside every ED house. This way, everyone could 'peg up' their cars after a hard day's commute.

I realise that an Estate Agent is Lucifer personified, but if you can put that aside for a moment, they are in fact just another employed person in London who needs a car for work. There are (no doubt) countless other anonymous-looking cars parked in the same street every day by non-residents. The only difference is the cheesey paint-job.

Brendan Wrote: ------------------------------------------------------- > Suburbs older that 50 years obviously can not be > expected to have been designed in this way Ok - so that's pretty-much all of London. What now?!

The catch is that you have to use Foxtons. In seriousness though, it would actually be good to hear from people who have taken-up the offer, many of whom will be regular readers of this here forum. I suppose they wouldn't dare own-up for fear of being pilloried.

The combination of being a homeworker and a live news addict meant I was watching News24 as it happened and unfolded. I was on the phone 'reporting' half the time as some friends worked at companies where their bosses refused to let them watch the news. My (then) flatmate had a driving lesson around 4pm, and I remember answering the door when the instructor arrived and said "she can't have her lesson today, because terrorists have just crashed 2 planes into the twin towers of the World Trade Centre", which I think must have been the most unusual last-minute cancellation he'd ever had. He went home pronto.

I have a hunch that Foxtons Inc would probably have applied for the correct permissions before spending tens and tens (and tens) of thousands on the work. So perhaps it time to live with it instead of desperately hoping they've infringed some minor article in the small print. Just pretend they make organic jam in there rather than selling houses. A large spectacular glass-fronted organic jam shop.

Dom, The point was a general one, not a personal dig at you. If you can honestly tell me, hand on heart, that you wouldn't be just that wee bit more annoyed about a 'ED lady of leisure' allowing her little precious to bang a spoon on the table next to you whilst she sipped Chablis and yapped on the phone about her Ocado order - than you would about an downtrodden working mother - then fair enough. I won't believe you.. but fair enough.

I agree. Whether children are well-behaved or not is nothing to do with class at all. My point is that on this forum, you will observe (from the associated language usually found within the postings) that it is the MC children and their parents who usually tend to invoke the most bile.

Asset Wrote: ------------------------------------------------------- > why oh why oh WHY does it have to come down to > class???? A mother who appears comfortably off ie, seemingly a non-worker, having a spot of brunch, a glass of wine, shopping for knick-knacks, chattering on the phone with pals and generally appearing to have an easy life will become an immediate object of envy, targeted by those who are irritated by their seemingly easy life. So when their child bangs said spoon on table, it's the straw which breaks the camel's back. When they're still in a pub after 7pm with a pram, it's tantamount to rubbing everybody else's nose in it.

It was an enjoyable story. The scene was well-described. It's just that, reading the day-to-day postings here, you'd be forgiven for thinking that the same scene was repeated every day from pub opening until last orders in every bar and restaurant in SE22. The majority of us (and by *us*, I mean, parents in SE22) do not allow their children to repeatedly bang spoons on tables and run riot in restaurants.

A cork?