*Bob*

Alan, I'm assuming (by your SE5 address) that you have some way to go before you can do a bit of asset-strippin'. But good luck to you - I hope that one day your dream comes true.

I'm no expert on this subject. However, someone in my circle of friends is one of those 4200. He explained to me that (in essence) what his company does, is to buy up other companies, and if they don't make enough dough - or even if they do - asset strip them and sell them off for a huge profit - from which those at the top get paid huge bonuses. He was quite honest about it. Still, as you say, he earned the money for the company, so he deserves it. (Ps - he doesn't live in ED. Get real.)

Speaking of private equity types.. did anyone catch the 'city bonuses' story recently? 14 billion (that's BILLION) paid-out in bonuses this year - more than the entire UK transport budget. 4200 people in the city getting multi-million pound bonuses. You pal should be able to afford more than one donkey, Alan.

I was kind-of hesitant to condemn the new system without the voice of popular opinion, so I asked for it, and the result seems to be that (so far) the forum is full of people who live near to and who use the junction every day, and they all seem to think it was fine as it was. When I add this to my own experience of over-protectively pushing a pram over it and back several times a week, I have to say I agree with them. You can see my point..?

What about that bit at the bottom of Friern Road.. where it curls round into Upland Road? A blind corner. I believe it to be very dangerous. I mean.. I don't think there's ever been an accident there.. but just in case, perhaps we should put in a crossing? Or make it one way? Yes - one way.. all the the down. Just in case.

The Admin is a man who likes to keep an eye on things. I'd say he's plumped for nets as they offer maximum snoop with minimum visibility. Am I right, Mr A?

I've done it! My God.. I feel just like Matthew Broderick in 'Wargames'. Woo-hoo! Thanks, boffins!

I've set up a password for the router.. (ie, when I access the router config page, it asks me for my password) - but I assume this just means no-one can change my router settings, but anyone can still access the 'net.. is this right?

I still haven't got around to encrypting mine. Mr Mockney.. how is this best achieved, if you please? Assuming I've opened my browser at the router configuration page thingummy, what next?

Alan Dale Wrote: ------------------------------------------------------- > We've got metal security grilles. Ahh.. the industrial look. Very *now*.

It depends on whether he's downloading anything which 'operation ore' might be interested in. In which case they'll be knocking at your door. Let's hope not. Other than that.. he's just restricting your bandwidth (when you're both online), thus slowing-down your access. If that's ok with you, then it doesn't really matter. I did read some comical Daily Hell article talking about paedophiles who cruised the streets in their cars with their laptops, looking for free wi-fi to download stuff through so it couldn't be traced.. but quite frankly I had more realistic worries, such as remembering not to leave the iron on.

Frosting: cheesey Plantation shutters (the slatted kind): cheesey You should have a word. Though I suspect you probably think the same.

I think stag do's went downhill since people stopped having them the night before the wedding. Only one of my pals did it the old-fashioned way - respec'!

I'm aware of your penchant for the Silver Buckle, Alan. It fits the profile.

Bread and dripping?! What I'd give for a bit of bread and dripping! We can only afford to eat coal and dry sticks - if we're flush.

The best tip for avoiding fights it to avoid the places where they happen. Still.. if you get a thrill out of it - fill your boots. Oxford is an interesting mix of privilege and underprivilege. They don't always get-on at the weekend.

You're in luck.. Oxford's a fantastic town for a punch-up! Avoid the popular town centre pubs and bars. At all costs.

If the hell-hole which is Trafalgar Square is too much of a jaunt, 'Caesar's Palace' in Streatham should have everything you need.

Perhaps we should be forewarned as to when this impending stag posse is going to hit 'the lane'? Though I suppose they'll be easy enough to spot. Look out for kebab-splashed shirts, sick on the shoes and a propensity towards casual violence.

I don't think anywhere on 'The Lane' will cut it.. What about that local bordello Snorky mentioned? Ideally (as with most stag weekends) it seems what you're after is somewhere where there are enough distractions to cover-up for deficiencies in friendships within the group. Tits on show and the like.

Alan Dale Wrote: ------------------------------------------------------- > No way *Bob* I have been on two of those out of > town Stag dos. At the second I fell asleep > watching Match of The Day. Hmmm.. we didn't sleep for three days. You went with the wrong crowd, Alan.

The best stag do I ever went on was a weekend at a fantastically luxurious but isolated 'country manor house' outside of Norfolk. Just the 25 of us. It reminded me of how good it can be just to (simply) spend lots of time with friends, having a laff and mucking about. The worst stag do's were all the others, where the mixture of a large group of lads out 'on the town' inevitably lead to: - Not being able to get into anywhere but the most awful places - Pointless lairy showing-off - Offensive drunken behaviour (towards waiters, women, doormen, taxi drivers etc) - A fight. Sooner or later

I'd generally be the last person to stand-up for them, but the anti-Foxtons bleat-fest is beginning to grate just a little now. There used to be a wall there. Worse than a wall. It looked more like the back-end of a detention centre. Foxtons were prepared to put their money (our money, ha ha) where their mouth is and cough-up for the building work. If Foxtons manage to close-down five other greasy estate agents along LL, I'll be happy with that. I can always use to glass front to check my comb-over on the way out for a night at the Tivoli amusement arcade.

The strangest post-war additions must be those pre-fab 'portacabin'-style dwellings on Underhill Road. They remind me of everywhere I went on holiday (in the UK) up until the age of about 12.

I believe it's a type of mine. In the western United States during the Gold Rush days, independent miners who did not have the finances to dig a conventional mine shaft would dig a shaft straight down to try to find a gold seam. These perpendicular shafts became known as "glory holes". Either that or it's something to do with poking your bell-end through a hole in the wall.