*Bob*

Michael.. are you talking about "Mr Topper"? Don't tell me: it's a fiver for a 'number 2' but you tip a pound for that special cut (say, a 'flat top')?

I don't go for the 'I tip because I know they're low paid workers' thing. There's a good reason why unskilled jobs are low-paid and its not my job to top-up someone else's pay-packet. That's right.. I'm all heart! Hairdressers and barbers, however, are neither unskilled nor low-paid. Most of them do just fine.

I believe the (very) thorny issue of the proposed new Harris Academy will be arriving 'on the forum' in the very near future..

Why? WHY ??!!!? Sheer madness.

I think there's a difference between 'keep the change' and a 'tip'. For the record, I have never tipped a barber, binman, postman, tinker, tailor, sol.. you get the picture. Why would I? "Here's some extra money! For no reason at all!"

I take issue with that, Spadetownboy. A 'hammer' has, and always will be known as a 'Birmingham Screwdriver'.

"Basically" "In the Round" "We can exclusively reveal"

I have a packet of 'Cock Soup' in the cupboard too. Delicious!

Do tell.. what is a 'conch'? If we get into (unintentionally) offensive words to be found in other countries, I might have to mention the packet of 'Coon' brand cheese Mrs *Bob* and I bought back from Australia.

Oh frock off, Mockney, you conch.

Probably. He does produce a mag which, brilliantly, is entitled 'Best of Big Ones'

Muffdiver ?!

Hairy Poppins

ChavWivaLawDegree is right.. to a certain extent. Though I feel I ought to point out that if you hadn't have 'loved fighting and scaring the crap out of posh kids' when you were young then those kids might not need use the word 'Chav' in order to try and assert their superiority (over people they are afraid of) in later life. RE Julie B, I disagree with 80% of what she says but miss her Guardian column very much. She was, however, spot-on about 'Chavs'.

Dyke = Poppins. Right you are, Guv!

Interesting... Does the forum software automatically censor f*** and c*** if they are not 'starred' (as I did above)? That tells you something, I suppose.

Did anyone see Julie Burchill's doc about 'Chavs'? Have to say I've since thought twice about using the word and feel a bit uncomfortable when the word gets bandied around in public (especially by the educated middle class) The English language is chock full of fantastic cuss-words. It is the best language in the world for swearing in. The trick is to use the words sparingly to the right effect. If every other word you say is 'fuck' or 'cunt' then what's the point? There aren't many words which I actually find offensive. I can only really think of 'nigger' and 'faggot'.

The commodities broker is wearing a pin stripe suit, bowler hat and is carrying a briefcase and umbrella. He has a 'spiv' moustache, one arched eyebrow and a cruel mouth. He went to Cambridge but tries to talk like a market trader - and ends-up sounding a bit like Dick Van Dyke in 'My Fair Lady'*. The nurses are all in boiler suits and are covered in blood from head to toe, after a heavy shift. There are a couple of pretty ones but most of them are a bit rough. We're in The Gowlett. The landlord is looking uneasy because they've just run out of alcopops and the nurses look like they might turn nasty. *Correction: "Hairy Poppins" - see later in thread.

My ideal evening would be a heavy drinking session at a pub full of Marxist nurses who just been made redundant, rounded off (just before last orders) by having a commodities trader burst out of an enormous cake and twanging his red braces whilst singing 'I'm in The Money'.

Here's the BIG QUESTION Given the choice, would you prefer to be drinking in: a) a pub full of nurses? b) a pub full of commodities traders?

I love a sociable drink, but I tend to shy away from conversations centred around profit margins, risk analysis, capital, inflation, market trends and gearing. And sport. So I think I'll give it a miss. *and Foxtons

I'm sure you resourceful people could fashion one of these.. http://www.homewetbar.com/gift-p-227.html

We were on a one year lease (which is fairly common in the UK). At the end of the lease they can pretty-much do what they like (which is what ours did). If things were different in the rental market, I think it would change the 'desperation to buy' that we currently see.

Tis true that renting is often the norm in many countries. However, the tenant often gets considerably more rights than the poor UK tenant. At one flat I rented (which my flatmate and I had been at for a few years) we offered to paint the place up if the landlord supplied the materials as we were fed-up of it not getting done. At a later visit, the landlord noted how nice the place looked and put the rent up accordingly.

Do they do 'proper beer' in H'oopers? I think someone said they did. There seems to be a dearth of such places around here. And when they do claim to do The Real Stuff, it turns-out to be weird southern beer with washing-up liquid bubbles on top.