Smiler

Good luck Fuschia.

Our new baby had thrush when she was about a week old(perhaps from antibiotics when in hospital) and was obviously in pain, so got her checked out at the GP. Looked like nappy rash but more swollen/generally red. None of the over-the-counter creams will sort thrush out, GP prescribed Timodine cream, fantastic stuff!

We have just moved to Surrey (Epsom Downs, hour away from central London), eldest is 2 1/2, new baby. Would have loved to have stayed in ED, but we had a flat and houses were so expensive, place at a good school uncertain etc. Wanted to make the move well before kids reached school-age, as we both moved around a lot as kids and would like to do things differently. It's lovely here in a different way. My main issue / worry with moving away from London but still working there is whether / how two people commuting is manageable with childcare etc. Lots of people seem to have one person commuting and the other at home / working locally, but this won't work for us.

Poor you Gussy, you are not being unreasonable at all. Every other year with the in-laws is more than enough for me (and vice versa for Mr Smiler with my family)! Tell him to stop whinging (or put him on here and we will!) >:D< Poor Helen GV - there seems to be a big anti-breastfeeding thing with older generations, like we're choosing to breastfeed as a deliberate ploy to exclude everyone else. Grrr. Anyone got a good response to endless "bitty" jokes?!

Best wishes Fuschia :)

I have just moved from ED to Surrey and am taking refresher lessons as haven't driven for many years. Driving is essential here as public transport is poor and not much for kids within walking distance. Now we have two kids it's also nice to use the car sometimes as getting anywhere without it becomes much slower with a toddler on foot! I didn't find not driving in ED a problem, although I would've liked to have gone to more places, e.g. Beckenham, Crystal Palace etc. that were too much of a hassle by bus. Agree with others that since you have got this far it'd be worth at least giving the test a go. Everything becomes harder when kids come along. You never know, they might be nice to a heavily pregnant woman and pass you!

The grandparenting thread has made me think about Christmas with extended family / in-laws. Anyone have any tips to minimise stress? This year we'll be self-catering with Mr Smiler's family (two old ladies, eight adults, two toddlers and two tiny babies) for a whole week. Not done this since the bleak farm-house-hovel Xmas of 2008 when the beast of Exmoor would have been a welcome diversion. This time cannot pursue my usual strategy of getting drunk the whole time as am breast-feeding. My plan so far is: - not to be the one who runs around after everyone in a dutiful way (demented hostess mode) and then seethes with resentment. Do as little as possible while seeming to be helpful (e.g. offer drinks when everyone has one already, hover in the kitchen when others are cooking). - to keep chocolate / trashy books / ipod in a bedroom and go there frequently (say the baby is awake, needs feeding etc.). - phone a friend to bitch about our respective in-laws. Any tips appreciated!

Our issue is a bit different. My parents (not local) are very hands-on and giving, they would do anything for us / the kids, including nappies, early mornings, cooking, babysitting etc. etc. But they can be interfering. Examples: putting extra blankets on the baby / twenty-three layers on both kids before they leave the house, literally pushing me / Mr Smiler out of the way to pick the baby up when she cries, criticising Mr Smiler to me, taking the baby out "for a moment" and disappearing for hours showing her off to the neighbours then not understanding why we were peeved, commenting on how we discipline our toddler and "suggesting" that we need to do X, Y, Z, formula-pushing and saying "maybe you don't have enough [breast] milk", "it's cruel not to give her a bottle if she's not satisfied". Suggesting sleeping arrangements (anti-co-sleeping), trying to introduce new rules such as wearing slippers in the house / table manners. Argh! God, when I write this down I see why Mr Smiler is so stressed when they're around! He is now valiantly polite and focuses on the positive (how lovely they are as grandparents, the good food, lie-ins), I tend to let it all wash over me and murmer non-committally, then do what we want rather than what they suggest. Most of the time we get by, but when things go wrong or are hectic, e.g. illness, following births, Mr Smiler away for work, and we really need help it's really difficult to set boundaries without hurting their feelings / seeming ungrateful (which am not, despite the rant).

Great thread - am with Gussy - I [the "true" me and not the zombie marshmallow-woman bovine hag I feel like now] will be back"! And hopefully before I'm 90!

agree that dr prabhakaran is great, dr davison also, can't remember any of the others names!

Thanks Ryedelama. 3 stone is fab! Pickle has given good advice. I got to around the middle of the healthy weight range for my height, but found it hard to sustain and this time think will be a bit easier on myself. Re. cycling, there are some threads on cycling elsewhere on the forum where there may well be tips about routes etc. Have just got a hula hoop! It has weights in and comes into bits so is easy to store. Hoping it will help deal with the jelly belly, if not might try belly dancing and make the jelly a virtue!

ryedalama, can't help on the WW front as I haven't tried the new thing, but as buggie says you are obviously doing really well, congratulations! I have been using my old WW books and doing it myself at home, but is great when breastfeeding as you get so many extra points! When I last did WW I never used to carry over activity points or eat them, I tried to still stick to my points most days, with the odd splurge at weekends, which worked well. I have got a stone and a bit to lose, DD2 is coming up to three months, did my Davina McCall workout DVD for the first time last night and enjoyed it, didn't feel like it at all beforehand though. For those into pilates but with no time to go to a class, the Darcey Bussell DVD is OK and has really relaxing piano music, always made me sleepy but felt it the next day.

With fertility issues there're so many difficult decisions to be made, e.g. when to consult a doctor / who to see (and whether NHS or private) / what tests / treatments to have / whether to try alternative therapies etc. etc. Having experienced some problems (but over the moon to now have two children) I second the recommendations for fertility friends and similar sites, e.g. Mumsnet, Baby and Bump. Dulwich library has quite a lot of books on fertility stuff, including Dr Foster's guide to clinics. The Human Fertilisation and Embryology Authority website has useful info, including on what questions to ask. Really feel for anyone struggling with this.

Congratulations Helen, Supergolden and Trish, great news, three more boys for East Dulwich! Best wishes to ladies with upcoming due dates.

Best wishes Fuschia, hope things settle down soon for the whole family and that bubs stays head down!

We worked out that our daughter was sick for a total of five working weeks in about 15 months of being at nursery. We split the time away from work between the two of us as we had no back-up care. Mr Smiler's boss let him work from home, but since it is impossible to work and look after a toddler he ended up working late at night and at weekends. I took unplanned annual leave. Legal rights are limited I think, as others have said it seems to come down to one's boss.

I think it is unrealistic to expect anything else in the early weeks - Gina Ford et al have a lot to answer for! Hard-going for us mums though!

Hi reren, I had the same thing with my daughters. Constant feeding for what seemed like hours, especially in the evening. Feeding frenzies basically! The midwife said it is the baby's way of generating more milk and it did seem to work. This time it has calmed down gradually, but even now (11 weeks) she likes lots of feeds in the early evening. I have just gone with it and think she has relaxed as the milk supply has increased. Knackering though! Hope it settles down for you soon.

agree, the cats should go!

The wedding plans sound great Sally81!

Like Woof, I also love other people's weddings, as long as small kids (like mine) are banned!

We had a big, semi-informal wedding four years ago(Mr Smiler and my Mum both wanted this, I was up for a small thing, but gave in after many arguments/fraught discussions) and regret it (the wedding, not getting married, I love being married, honest!)(hope neither of them reads this - argh!). The months leading up to the wedding were stressful due to organisation / differences / family issues (e.g. people who didn't get on, exes, etc. etc.). Have never argued so much with Mr Smiler before or since! Put on weight through comfort eating and the dress was too tight and gave me bruises! Felt really exposed and on edge the whole time on the day. There were people there (e.g. friends' partners, random family) that I didn't know well or even recognise, and was anxious about what people thought / were having a good time etc. etc. and, apart from wearing the pretty dress, the flowers and the civil ceremony (which was lovely), didn't enjoy it much. It also cost a lot of money and would rather have had the cash! Feels good to vent about this as it isn't really acceptable to say you didn't enjoy the wedding, and have only been honest with a few close mates about it! But I know several other people - including those who had big and small dos - who say the same privately. Re. friends being unable to come, just 'cos they can't come for what seems to you to be a poor reason doesn't mean they're not a friend: everyone has their own lives / problems and you may not know the whole story. People also have really weird attitudes about weddings and what one "should do". As others have said, please do what's right for you, hope you enjoy it when the time comes!

I had this at a similar stage, and packed in breastfeeding, but it didn't help the insomnia (or the baby's waking)! I used to stay in bed with eyes closed, as at least that way the body is getting rest, and to try NOT to think about tasks to be done / worries / issues etc. Visualisation (nice gardens, beaches etc.) helped a bit, but the problem continued for me until my daughter started sleeping through (at 2)! It will pass, hopefully soon!

Poor you and baby Baldock! Earlier this year Miss Smiler (age 2) had splashes of boiling hot tea spilled over her arm and back and bum - horrible. Found the burns nurses at Kings great. We were asked to go back to Kings for follow-ups with the nurses for a few days afterwards, which though a pain (and obviously worse for people who don't like hospitals), was reassuring. They checked the burns and changed dressings (which often came off due to the wriggling etc!). If you do have to go back there, they said the quietest time at the paeds A&E is early morning, e.g. 8.30/9.00am. We were advised not to put anything on the burns other than dressings - the local chemists sell the dressings they use in the hospital (I wrote down the names of the dressings when watching the nurses), but you have to ask at the counter, it isn't on display. Once the blisters formed a thin, shiny glaze, they said to leave them exposed. This freaked me out, thought she'd bash the scars and make them bleed more, but actually seemed to work and they healed quickly. At DMC (then our GP) it was the practice nurse to whom we had to go once Kings said we were OK not to go back, but it was harder to get an appointment with the nurse than with a GP, so ended up doing the dressings ourselves, though it was only a few days and then the burns had got to the stage where no dressings were needed. Hope Seb recovers well - Miss Smiler did, surprisingly quickly. Seven months later the burns are visible, but only little white patches of skin, no obvious scars or redness, will just have to be extra careful in the sun etc. Hope you're all back to normal soon!

Hi Pellmel, am sorry you have been through this. I think it can be a taboo and people don't know what to say to the couple (and often say the wrong thing). Baby and Bump and Mumsnet both have miscarriage sections with lots of women posting, which I found really helpful.