Smiler

way off with me too, estimated 6lbs14 and baby was only 5lbs10oz (37 weeks).

A couple of people have mentioned that they continue to see parents who were awful as parents because they'd like their kids to have grandparents. Personally I think that it can be just as good for kids to spend time with any adults who are caring, interested etc, who don't necessarily need to be even related. Eg uncles, aunts, friends, random older relatives. My husband, for example, had a lovely great-aunt who was more like a grandmother. I saw a lot of one of my mum's friends (who never had kids) and stayed in touch for many years. As a kid we saw v little of one set of grandparents because as a parent the grandad had been violent and horrible. The others were not great either. Don't feel we missed out much as we had other people who were much more kindly and who we saw regularly, and, importantly, who did not visibly upset our parents. Kids also really pick up on tension between people.

Zeban, the "why don't you forgive her" and subsequent comments are obnoxious, patronising and out of order.

BB that sounds really hard, poor you. Is really bad when mothers say undermining things to daughters, comment on weight etc. There was a book that had rave reviews from friends of mine about mother/daughter relationships and things that can go wrong, can't remember the title though! I personally think that counselling - individual - can be really useful for this kind of stuff, in working out new strategies etc. But has to be the right counsellor. Or assertiveness training maybe? Sounds like she does need to be challenged whenever she says nasty stuff and at the moment gets away with too much maybe? With respect to the boundaries thing, think that some grandparents may be soft on the grandkids 'cos they worry that the kids won't like them! I know of a fair few who are v soft and the kids do play up after an extended visit. I was at a soft play recently and my daughter was playing with a little girl whose Mum I know and who was there with her grandparents. They were doing stuff they shouldn't, so I went and told them off (a little). The granny thanked me and said that she didn't like telling her grandaughter off 'cos she didn't see her all that often and worried that she would be upset or not like her. So maybe some grandparents are not as confident as they make out. "Gransnet" has just gone live, has some useful stuff - including on not interfering - aimed at self-aware grans!

My father in law insists that none of his three boys ever had tantrums. Ha! Have witnessed them having tantrums NOW for a start! Wish m-i-l (who did the childcare) was still around to sort him out!

Have been through similar with my parents on different issues and am becoming more assertive! We have developed a "broken record" technique, eg "you seem to think X. We have decided to do Y. I hope you can respect our decision/approach", then repeat as necessary without getting drawn into a debate or trying to justify ourselves. Recommend a book called "siblings without rivalry", have found it v helpful in dealing with our 3yo jealousy of her baby sister. It emphasises that it's actually good for siblings to say negative things at times, eg that they don't like or want the baby. Stuff that i previously found shocking I now let my daughter say, and her behaviour has really improved. She will now just complain verbally if she wants more attention from me rather than taking it out on the baby or misbehaving. Also has lots of good stuff for older siblings.

Am on maternity leave, have moved from ed and my office has also moved, to Holborn. Trying to figure out how on earth to get to/from work when I return and hope forumites might be able to help. Will be going by train to london bridge, arriving just before 8am, and leaving holborn around 3.45pm. Tfl says the 521 bus from london bridge takes 19 mins to get to holborn, but I mistrust their estimates! Any tips/experiences would be appreciated, thanks.

My friend lived there and hated it. Not a lot there.

Went to the union square cafe on honeymoon, lovely food and cocktails, got chatted up by a sugar daddy who looked like george w bush!

V sweet! Little dress would be v nice. Agree that other colours than pink good too.

At least the poos are in nappies and not pants (our problem!). There is a good nhs pamphlet aimed at kids on the net called mr poo goes to pooland! Also masses of threads on mumsnet.

I found a book called "blooming birth" good on 2nd births, managing fear, taking decisions etc. Also talking over anxieties and options with a (private) counsellor. Also, C-sections are not necessarily predictable/less risky.

We looked into moving north (our families also in SW and up north), but was more expensive and connections were into stations that weren't great for work. surrey to somerset is quite quick.

Snowboarder, re houses for sale in some areas all seeming to be grannies' houses, tis because the old people are dying off / downsizing / needing cash to pay for care homes, and familes who'd prefer nearby areas but can't afford them, are moving in. We bought a granny house, complete with red axminster carpets (pink carpets everywhere else), floral wallpaper, avocado bathroom etc etc. The local chemists are a bit different to ED: instead of lansinoh cream, organic creams, moltex nappies, nuk teats etc there are incontinence pads and talcum powder!

Allocating based on distance just leads to high house prices so wealthier people buy or rent a place by moving near their preferred school - see the prices near heber, for example.

Love idea of "sparkle season".

Ryedelama, wow, that's great! You can give us some top tips!

I'm in! 7 month old, been eating terribly for a good couple of years now, despite feeding my girls lovely healthy stuff! Worried that will set them a bad example, so am stuffing my face when eldest is asleep! And am v hungry all the time due to b-feeding, will eat a big meal and still feel just as hungry, argh. Also finding it hard to get exercise as am v tired in eves. Have got all the latest ww bumf but can't be arsed taking the time to note down what am eating, figure out points etc. Maybe this is why am not getting anywhere healthy/slim! On a more positive note, can recommend gentle gym/swim sessions (while kids in creche), innocent veggie pots (3 of 5 a day, 2 mins in microwave, fairly filling and tasty) and soup!

Congratulations! I have a 2.5 age gap, have got away with a buggy board (lascale), eldest hasn't been in a buggy since the birth!

The Lanes were great for me. Continuity of care after the birth is really important, in those difficult early days is v nice to see a familiar face. The Lanes also do appointments at home - not sure if Kings do this.

I don't understand the arguments that it's wrong for "middle class" parents to try to avoid poor schools; or that they should send the kids and "get behind" them. Surely, schools need to be good enough for people to want to send their kids there? Don't the leaders of schools / local authorities / parents of kids already at the school etc. have some responsibility? And why should middle class parents' involvement necessarily help? Presumably, there are complex reasons why some schools are doing badly.

How about a nutritionist? Might be able to advise on healthy eating etc. to help with immune system.

:))randomv Wrote: ------------------------------------------------------- > ???? Wrote: > -------------------------------------------------- > ----- > > Do it yourself, just put the tap on > > Just make sure the water coming out of the tap has > been subject to absolutely zero testing or > regulation.

What a great poem!

We recently moved from ED to Surrey (Epsom Downs), mainly cos of house prices, schools and Mr Smiler feeling cramped in ED and our flat (he grew up in the country). I felt like your husband Lochie, said I would never live outside a city, thought the home counties would be dull etc. etc. but gave in in the end with baby no.2 on the way. We started with a rail map and worked out where was commutable to central London stations near(ish) our jobs, then did visits at weekends and researched promising areas (with much grumbling from me). Not much fun, but did help to narrow it down. I wasn't sure at all, really didn't want to leave ED, but am actually really glad we moved and (sorry to be disloyal) don't miss ED much (although I do still like the forum!). We have a much, much bigger place and garden. It's been easy to meet friendly people in the local area, there is lots to do for families and it's easier to get around both locally and further afield by car than it was in London, with less traffic etc. Services of all kinds are less pressured and it is easier to arrange childcare. The main drawback so far seems to be the commute, which is fine with one person doing it, not so good for two. A lot of people have one person working locally or staying at home while the other one commutes. Think it is a myth, though, that commuters don't see their kids: this might be more down to wider work/life balance issues than commuting per se. Ruth - I didn't drive before(although I did have a license) and had a real hang-up about it, and am now driving all the time after some lessons and nervous initial journeys, it can be done! It's much easier driving outside London. ED is a great place, but there are other great places too!