Smiler

Am (hopefully!) way off this, but want to mention that any weird changes in bleeding / periods, e.g. much longer periods than normal, or other symptoms like bloating shouldn't necessarily be put down to menopausal symptoms and might need to be investigated. My Mum (late 50s) had symptoms and was fobbed off by her GP for ages that it was "just menopause" before they did any tests, turned out she had early uterine cancer. She's hopefully fine now, after a radical hysterectomy, but has many of the nasty symptoms discussed above (she can't take HRT due to other health issues). Afterwards her GP (who is generally v good) did some reading up and said she thought she should be referring a lot more women for the tests than she had been. Think there's a risk that a lot can be lumped under "menopause" that might not be. Pah, being a women, pah pah! Am liking the vasectomy thread!

Congratulations! Sounds like a hard time, poor you. Is baby sb a girl or boy? Hope your recovery is going well. 2 is fine, honest! And there are the experts on the forum with 3 or more who can advise!

Congratulations! Dulwich library has lots of pregnancy books - cold try before you buy! I like 'blooming birth', as had lots on managing emotions around the birth/fear etc.

Could you ask to see a doctor at kings to discuss vbac? I switched from kings to st helier at 37 weeks due to house move. Might be more tricky to move if you're hoping for a home vbac.

This stuff is so hard. Am having similar issues (second daughter now six months, eldest nearly 3, am at home at the moment on mat leave). Went back to work part-time (3 days) when our first daughter was one, was v lucky to have that option. Hated hated hated it, not the job which was fine, but was sleep-deprived (she didn't sleep through til she was 2), v unhappy with childcare arrangements and she kept getting ill. Pick-up nights were awful as toddler was always exhausted and grumpy, as were we! It was v good to have the non-working days and I lived for these. Find being a full-time Mum difficult and frustrating at times - my 3-year-old is lovely but much harder work than the baby (must start another thread on that!) Despite this would really love to become a stay-at-home-mum now until the youngest goes to school. But doing this would probably mean losing my job and having to take a massive paycut when returning to (different?) work in X years time and am not willing to do this. Am dreading the return to work with all the same issues but for 2 kids. This time, will try to get different childcare and more back-up for when kids are ill. Will not even attempt to have a social life or any time in the week with partner / for self, will decline all weekend invitations involving travel and well-meaning invitations from childless friends for late nights out in the week as a "break" - argh! Will also not even attempt exercise-regimes / home improvements / anything other than work / kids / washing and sleep! And as others say, expect the trauma! I may get shot down for saying this, but I think breastfeeding makes it harder to contemplate returning to work - the hormones / practical difficulties being away from the baby / physical and emotional effects of feeding and being the one up in the night. Sorry, this sounds so negative..... Think helsbels' solution with both partners doing a day's childcare sounds really good. And there are lots of ladies in ED doing similar (or not!) who can sympathise/give tips like people have here (I am failing in that regard, sorry!).

We went with nursery part-time from 1- 2 1/2, and was never happy with the decision. I just don't personally think that one year olds get much benefit from nursery or need to socialise with that many kids. Some of the staff were great (though some weren't), but many nurseries pay badly and have really high turnover, and it all just felt impersonal and the little ones looked lost and stressed. Just a personal view.

You guys should venture into the family room!

That's great, and good that the cats are still ed residents!

KatsuQueen Wrote: ------------------------------------------------------- > When Minikatsu was born, > I thought - what would I do if money was no > object? How would I live my life? Would I like to > stay home and concentrate on raising children? Or > would I want to do more? and the answer was, > staying at home all the time to look after > children would not be my choice. Money, or lack of > money, is only one factor. > Like this way of thinking about things KatsuQueen! I would stay at home for 2/3rds of the time, but have on-call help available from an army of lovely nannies, chefs, entertainers, cupboard-clearers, cleaners etc. etc.! The other 1/3rd of the time I would do a fun, sociable job with minimal responsibility. Fuschia, perhaps Mr Fuschia should do the tasks more regularly if he finds is so easy...

Keef wrote: > I do have to say though, that a large part of the > reason for women doin most of the running round, > in my experience, is that they won't have it an > other way... Then they moan about it! > > *takes cover* it's the generalisation that annoys me keef.

Though i do agree that public sector is often more reasonable about flexible working in general.

Keef, i'll take the bait, that is utter bollocks!

It is usually the person who is not the main breadwinner before kids who does more of -or all- the childcare, and since more men earn more than their partners it's women who lose out in terms of work/earnings. Would be interested to know what happens when the woman earns more, and (cynically) suspect that the men in those cases will be much more likely than women in a similar situation to continue to work full-time. Have recently realised that everything re childcare gets much, much more difficult with two children, and that preschools/schools are not geared up to support two working parents at all! I also think that some men who say they can't request flexible working 'cos this could damage their career need to remember that women face this issue too. If men don't even ask, how will anything change?

Btw the "what to expect" book is so not neutral on soooo many things! Not looked at it once ths time around and am glad!

We co-slept for part of the night with our first daughter out of desperation as she was a dreadful sleeper, then when she turnd 9 months and teething/illness/separation anxiety kicked in we co-slept the whole time, one of us (mainly me) in a double bed with her in her room. Had pros and cons. When she was close to two, Mr Smiler had enough of sleeping alone and decided to make her settle herself in her cot, so basically did CC but remaining in the room with her as I am anti CC and wouldn't let him leave her completely alone. When she was two she just one night slept through and since then has slept well (now nearly three!) bloody fantastic! Mr smiler claims the credit, but a friend whose little boy was similarly a bad sleeper til two just continued to co-sleep and he too just one night started to sleep through, at the same age. With our second daughter we have co-slept from the start and have got a superking bed! Thinking now about whether to carry on or move her to here own room in next couple of months.

Isn't the feminists to blame, is that despite progress society is still not equal. Grrr. Let's start a separate thread though....

I think is combo of hormones and concerns arising from thinking about going back to work....boo hoo!

62p would buy a bar of chocolate. Duchy may pay actual wedding costs but taxpayer will be paying for policing etc.

Poor you anna. Am at 5 1/2 months with my second daughter and the insomnia is back, though not as badly as the first time round (yet). But it will pass and we will all sleep again, just be gentle with yourself til then.

3/4 months is tiny.

Not liking this seriez, has lost the comedy.

Zeban, when people say no children they tend to mean it! Puts the couple in v difficult position if guests then ask to bring them.

Don't think kings has the mobile monitoring technology yet, or they didn't last summer anyway. Is shame.

Lemony Snicket too young for him?

Would love to have three (have two), but don't think is an option for us 'cos of fertility issues. Reckon working (even part-time) is pretty hard with three in the early years. Know several people who have just had their third and, while loving it, are having to give up their (part-time) jobs 'cos the childcare is just too difficult/costly, especially when one or more is at school, the other(s)toddlers / babies. My cousin had her kids in her twenties and had 7 years out, and has now returned to work (when her youngest was 2 1/2 she started going demented at home and husband was throwing his weight about a bit, being the sole breadwinner). She was unable to get a job doing what she did before so did a PGCE and is now working again (full-time though as no part-time jobs were available for new teachers in her area). Is it only an option for those who decide to be a stay-at-home mum or is this a misconception?