Woodie, sorry to be obtuse here, but are you saying that the bar maid understood the reason you were going into the ladies and still told you off. From your post (and the questions you suggest may have been going through her mind) it comes across that she didn't know. Given that, couldn't you have told her in advance, or indeed asked for her help? As a non-parent, i have to say that my first thought on seeing a bloke going into the ladies toilet would not be, oh he must be looking for his daughter. I might (and probably would) think any of the thoughts that you attribute to her. What happened when you explained? I'm not saying you're at fault here, but i don't really think she is either. I just think next time you need to go into the ladies, letting someone know is going to avoid similar misunderstandings.