The Nappy Lady

Hi Gina, yes just phone them and they will cancel it and issue a new one to you, it is fairly common with vouchers going missing in the post etc. Molly x

....or Harris Girls and either food on disposable tablecloths on the floor in the room (easier to clear up and solves the chair size issue)...or after gym session if weather good decamp to park instead (pre plan so everyone knows where to go and have enough adults to herd the kids). My friend did the latter and it worked really well. Sydenham Wells also good plan if weather good, or Ruskin Park has a paddling pool. I've decided 10-15 max for all parties or it just gets totally out of hand and no one enjoys it. M

Yes, my older one likes the roll on one, and isn't generally bad about having any put on these days other than disliking the smell, it's just the 19 month old, and frankly I reckon she'd complain whatever we use (balshy little madam)! Just a phase, just a phase, it will pass (my mantra to myself). Molly

....and stopping my 5 year old from terrorising the poor frogs and tadpoles in our pond, despite the Baby Dan barrier around it she can still catch the poor things. If I have said "please leave the frogs alone" once I have said it a thousand times this week (oh god and now I sound like my mother)......

As someone with absolutely no religious background I'm just wondering is it some kind of quote from the bible, as in "the way of the Lord is sure and firm" or something? Just a thought. Agree it sounds scary, have image of them all sitting on hard wooden chairs in silence and eating gruel for lunch! Molly

Personally I just wish someone would invent a way of magically getting the suncream onto the children without any complaining/crying or it ending up - on me/fresh clothes just on for the day - the carpet - in their eyes (due to rubbing eyes during the process) So tedious......

Saila, Very true about Dad's, and of course their approach varies hugely. My hubby basically said "your body, I will support whatever you want to do" bless him, even though the 'bump' was most certainly 'ours' not mine IYKWIM. I would hate it if my partner was putting a lot of pressure on me to go down a route I didn't want to though. I had a friend who had to really fight her other half to have a home birth. In the end she got her way, and he is not a complete convert. Interestingly, he is in the medical profession and we think the issue was that during his training he of course heard about all the complications that can occur during birth and so they were foremost in his mind. So, a whole different approach again. Must be such a hard thing to go through as a couple of you have different views on how/where to give birth, especially if things dont go right and you had to then deal with any blame etc. within your relationship. M

Really interesting thread. I think that we, as women, and mothers put a huge amount of pressure on ourselves to 'get it all right'. Now exactly what this means for each one of us will vary, but it seems to me that for many of us there is at least an element of feeling natural birth and breast feeding are optimum, and that if we don't go down that route we are somehow failing, or need to defend our decisions. I suspect we are our own worst enemies as the criticism/need to defend ourselves is mostly stemming from what is going on in our own heads (bar the odd difficult mother-in-law). I had 2 home births, and exclusively breastfed both my girls (still going with no.2 at 19 months - but she WILL be stopping by 2 like it or not!). However, this does not mean I am 'anti' any other route, it so happened my pregnancies were straight forward, and like Sanne Panne I just didn't want to have to get in a car to transfer to hospital during labour - if no medical reason to do so I simply took the approach 'why not stay at home', and lucky me - it worked out...but I had to accept all along that it might not. It goes with the territory. My gut feeling is that all women should approach birth feeling as confident as possible - so if for you that means being in hospital, or at home, or taking all the pain relief they can offer, or having a planned C-section that is the right choice for you. That is all that matters. I think that should apply to a breech birth too - with of course plenty of medical advise and research, if you feel confident enough to try it and the baby is in the optimum position, and the medical profession see no reason why not then I'd support the decision (though for me I don't think I'd ever have been brave enough, end of story). We all (god/fate willing) will end up in the same place, with a beautiful baby (or two Fuschia!) to care for and that is what matters most of all. Same with breast feeding, I have HUGE respect for those that try and try but eventually have to turn to bottles and would never, ever criticise them. I will admit to feeling slightly less comfortable with those who simply don't want to even try, BUT it is their body, their baby and their choice. Until the day I can claim to be the perfect parent myself I wont be throwing any stones in my glass house! Molly

Hiya, hats - just keep putting 'em back on, he will get it eventually. Our first was more or less bald for the first 2.5 years so we used to put suncream in her hair - doesn't look great but is good protection. Still put along her parting when necessary as she's so fair. Bedroom - ignore moniter, turn off if need be. Strip down to just a vest if very hot, must admit tho I always use at least a very light sleeping bag here in UK. We have fans in the room (ceiling fan in two of the three) these help a lot and can be set to low so keep air moving without creating big draft. I know some use the freestanding air con units but I was advised there are cons to these by HV with my first - can't remember what/why. Drinking, just keep offering regularly. C seems to love drinking from a plastic cup just now - messy but she glugs lots and half goes in/half down her - in heat not the end of the world and as you say, reassuring. Home made ice pops with frozen juice/water mix may be popular too? Can also do with whizzed up fruit and fromage frais mixed. I had to keep reminding myself that children do survive in much hotter climates and less mod cons when O was newborn and we had the hottest August that year - 4 weeks old and sleeping in just a nappy, I was a nervous wreck. Not so bad when they are older I think, but maybe it's just that I'm more confident these days. Molly

Despite two brill home births breech the thought of a natural breech birth has always terrified me, don't think I'd ever be brave enough, I think (though don't know enough to be sure) that the risks are greater for mother and baby, which if true would swing it for me. M

Errr.....no, didn't have gas and air (or any other pain relief) with either of mine. My view was see how I go on my own and luckily enough I went just fine. Keef Wrote: ------------------------------------------------------- > Surely everyone sees how they go with gas and air > for a bit don't they?

Maybe the way to do it would be to have a contact list of volunteers, with a brief bio - nothing scary, but stuff like how many kids, likes dislikes etc. which may help people to contact the person they feel they would best connect with - and then if they don't feel comfortable with that person then they can always try someone else on the list instead. As you say NunheadMum is hard to match personalities off the cuff. As long as the volunteers are relaxed about it, that would work - we would need to keep the balance right, in terms of maintaining a gentle offer of contact, but not feeling offended if they don't seem keen to meet up again I guess!! Also I guess we'll have to be careful not to over commit ourselves - but if someone was 'list holder' so to speak we could always ask to be taken off it for a while if we felt we didn't have capacity to take on anyone else. Not sure whether this is a good or bad suggestion as to how it may work, or whether there is a better way? Molly

Believe so, and also travel cots - both have to be checked in of course. M

Brill, see you there all.

Weather looks ok for sandpit. I'd be up for cycling there but need to leave for 12.30 ish nap time. Molly

What time is library rhyme time F?

Snowboarder, phone Pares tomorrow and ask them what they have - saves a wasted journey. Molly x

Hi Bee, yes I would be interested, time allowing though need to work out how as a group we'd be different from NCT, surestart and the like. Snowboarder, I truly believe that for many of us saying 'help I'm not coping' is one of the hardest things, especially when it comes to parenting. I think the option of anonimity (sp cooking dinner no time to check) on the foru is very useful in this respect. I can imagine once my girls are both at school setting aside a day a week to give a few new Mums an hour or two of my time each, whether it be to listen, reassure, take baby while they do jobs or have a bath.....whatever. Hmmmmm, must remember not to sign up to full time work again!! Molly

So interesting to read this thread, and I know I was really, really lucky, but I honestly just felt overwhelmed with happiness, almost like I had been drinking champagne and had that bubbly feeling inside all the time. I suppose if I am totally honest I loved being the centre of attention - having all the fuss - people looking after me, and coming to see the new baby etc. Even when out and about total strangers tend to smile or chat to you, I really love that feeling of being 'special' and of course just the overwhelming love and the closeness to your partner - that 'look what we made!' feeling. There were moments when I didn't feel good of course, and doubted myself etc. but I feel the balance was more towards overwhelming joy and happiness. 2nd time around I also felt excited about the person I knew she would become in the coming months, where as first time around I was really just focussed on finally getting the baby I'd always dreamed about, and oblivious of what was to come. However, 2nd time around I had a pretty hard time later on - rather like Pickle, and not helped by a very nasty chest infection that took about 4 months to clear, I think I was so run down by breastfeeding, disturbed nights, having 2, school run etc. to do with the older one, and juggling Nappy Lady stuff which tended to mean working from 9pm until midnigth etc. Looking back I wonder what on earth I was thinking of. Plus I was stupid because I didn't want to admit to it, having tried so hard for so long for our 2nd baby I had a sort of 'can't complain/admit this is hard' mindset. Just so silly, and lucky I got through it OK really. Loving the newborn bit so much and reading this thread does make me wonder if I could do something to help new Mums in the future when my two are older, it would be nice to be able to 'put my arms' (not necessarly in a literal sense) around some of those who are struggling through those first few weeks. Molly

Hi Browncoffee, In my 2nd pregnancy I decided to have a 'due week' instead of a 'due date'. In the end both my girls were a week late, and I suspect future babies would be too, if I were mad enough to have more! I believe my 'natural pregnancy length' is 41 weeks. So - if you can bear it I wouldn't fixate on any one date, it only winds you up and makes you feel miserable if you go past it (in my experience of most pregnant ladies, including myself). At least with a 'due week' you are giving yourself a bit of leeway! Enjoy the rest of your pregnancy, and especially the last 6 weeks. I loved that time pottering around with my bump, almost in a dream like state at times. It is very rare in modern life to have time like that. Molly x

Hi Clare, Here is the thread you are after; http://www.eastdulwichforum.co.uk/forum/read.php?29,419972,422398#msg-422398 Hard to know if they truly work or not, but personally I think they look pretty anyway, and anything is worth a try. :)) I love the one my daughter wears, and it will eventually go in her 'keepsake' box so she can pass it on to her own children (assuming she has any). Molly

katgod - not sure where the Mum I know got them, but just did a quick Google and found these; http://www.buggybrolly.com/index.php?main_page=index&cPath=8 Think there are a few around now, though maybe not at this time of year!!! I've lost so many gloves during the whole palavar with buggy's, change bags, unwrapping children from layers of clothing -(school run is a complete nightmare in the winter - 10 minutes putting coats and wellies onto kids (often 3 or 4 as help out other parents in the street) for a 5 minute walk to school in torrential ran etc, then changing soggy kids back into shoes, getting coats off etc. when we get there....sigh), cannot tell you how happy I am that the spring is here! Think Fuschia's suggestion is very good for the above reason as quite often when baby C was little I ended up either waking her up to wrap her up for the school run, or getting home with her all bundled up and fast asleep and worrying about her overheating..... Molly

Washable - the ones with the lace backing stay in place really well and did the job for me. Molly x

Pares in Blackheath is a lovely shoe shop - lots of choice and can be part if nice day out / lunch or trip to Greenwich park. They are opposite Blackheath train station, if driving parking around church on Heath tends to be the best bet. M x

Food good - otherwise (depending what sort of Mum she is), and wit 4 maybe she's seen it all before, but for me with my 2nd it was the stuff I did't know about, or feel I could indulge/afford first time around so; lovely sheepskin buggy liner amber teething necklace for the baby breast feeding necklace so I didn't get my hair pulled etc. that belly band thing for breastfeeding (didn't have, but since found out about them - very clever) those mittens that fix to the buggy handles so you don't lose them - just slide hands in and out when necessary - (as above, actually a school Mum who just had her 4th has discovered them and loves them!) drawstring nightgowns for baby to make night changes quick and easy oooh, yes and Cuddledry baby towels - soooo lovely....makes bath time much easier and less soggy for Mum. Molly