The Nappy Lady

Millsa, Are there any 'signs' you can easily pick up on when he needs to go? Could you pop a nappy on him at that point, so he can poo, you can easily clean it up, and then leave him nappy free again? I know it seems like the 'wrong' thing to do, but often if you can de-stress the situation, give it a while and then try again you will suddenly find the problem has gone away. With our daughter giving her a nappy for her poos for a couple of months did the trick, and then she was fine to use the potty. Also, not sure if you've tried the cutting the hole in the disposable trick, but if not then moving on to this, from him using a nappy again for a few weeks might ease the progression if that makes sense. Good luck, hold on to the fact that none of us are walking around in nappies, so you know he WILL get there eventually! Molly

No prob, just thought you'd like to know!!

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Snowboarder - We need to talk about Kevin was a seriously disturbing book "shudders". I was given it as a birthday present as well and have to say I seriously regret reading it. Moos, I'm having loads of Little Britain moments at the moment, really, really need to convince my 21 month old to stop trying to pull up my top whilst demanding "Mook"..... :-$ Molly

Belle - I do a bit of both (on and off road running)....I know it isn't great for the joints but I think if you invest in good trainers and don't bomb along slamming your joints it isn't quite so bad...as my hubby put it "you don't run, you jog" (did I want to lamp him...yes!!), but he is right. I don't think what I am doing is to hard on my joints, but it is hard enough to know I'm doing it. Molly

Jamma, I understand your point, and agree with some of it, but as a parent I have to say I've been consistently surprised by what I would describe as the 'instinctive' differences between the two genders. I see it time and time again...... - my first daughter was at a childminders with 3 boys, they would push buggys around with cars in, she'd put a doll in hers. Despite being with them for 10 hours a day, 5 days a week from the age of 10 months until she was about 3 she would play very differently to them. - when she was at nursery I would often notice that 99% of the boys were out in the playground running about and 99% of the girls were inside doing crafts - when I visit friends with boys they seem to be far more physical - bombing around more - my daughter will join in but this is not how she is normally when at home (though of course she is very physical at the park etc. and loves running, climbing etc.) - a couple of years ago we gave her a night light that projected stars onto the ceiling - she wanted to sit in a dark room with it one looking at the stars, her two male cousins wanted to take it apart to see how it worked (after shaking it madly to see if they could break it). I absolutely agree that boys and girls should be given open access to toys/education/careers whatever, but I don't agree in nurture over nature since becoming a parent. Molly

Snowboarder - I put my running gear on at 8am today and finally went out for my run at 8.30pm!!! Now, believe me, I did not intend to spend the day in lycra, it is not my idea of a good look.... the plan was school run, drop littlest off at the Childminders, quick run in the park, fast change and off to work....but best laid plans and all that....had to dash straight to work, never got time to change and thankfully it didn't matter today what I was wearing, then it was the school run, Beavers (as in mini scouts), tea time, bath time, bed time blah, blah blah....and finally there I was hot footing it around Nunhead as the sun was going down, having had to ask a neighbour to come in for half an hour because DH is out tonight! It would be easier to sit eating chocolate I admit, but I am a stubborn woman, and I keep thinking about the impending holiday/bikini situation! Molly

Lightlady, I think your best bet would be to combine your existing qualification with becoming a post-natal Doula. There is certainly a market for Doulas in this area, and you can specialise, so you don't do the birth stuff if that is not of interest. I think this would provide the necessary "re-branding", whilst allowing you to put all your knowledge to very good use. If you Google Doula UK (not sure if it is one word) you can read more about training courses etc. Molly

Well.....since last posting on this thread I have started running 3 to 4 times a week and have managed to loose about a stone, maybe a bit more. My weight now seems pretty 'stuck', but I still seem to be toning up, and hoping long term it may just drop a teeny bit more - my dream is to be able to say I am 9-stone-something though I know it is STUPID to worry about what the scales say as how I feel and how my clothes fit is far more relevant. DD2 still breastfeeding (sigh) though down to two short feeds a day mostly, trying hard to get her off as I think this will help with weight loss too, but she's not going to give up without a battle, and I admit I'm weak willed about it. I've managed to build up to being able to run for 30 minutes/about 3 miles now, not a fast runner, but it is doing the job and actually once I'm out there doing it I really love it and come back buzzing. You feel so free! BMF - I too would like to have a go at this, but haven't ever managed to get to a session yet, and keep thinking "I'll just get a little bit fitter first" LOL (wimp). How was it Pickle? Even my baby belly has gone down, which I'm seriously happy about. I think it is much easier to get into this when you know you're done with having babies too - after my first I always felt a bit hacked off to think I was going to ruin all the hard work again at some point if that makes sense. Now I'm done with pregnancy I feel far more focussed. Weightwatchers - when I used to go they weigh you in front of everyone, but no one else can see what you weigh and they write it on your card rather than announcing it. They might say "up 2" or "well done, down 3" etc. but that's all. Personal trainers - in my experience they will do whatever you want them to do - some may have a preference, but if you don't like the one you find there are plenty others who will either go to the gym or the park, or running or whatever with you. I know one very good one, if you want his details PM me, my friend had AMAZING results with him, and did everything from running to kickboxing to weights with him so never got bored. I'm actually thinking I might get him in to help me if I'm still stuck at this weight a couple more months down the line. Ryedalema - well done is all I can say, you should be a bit smug after all the effort and such a good result. It took me a long time to get into the 'right place' to even contemplate getting fit again, this time last year with a 10 month old I was way too tired. I hated my body, but even the thought of doing anything about it was exhausing. So, for those of you haven't got going yet don't be too hard on yourselves. I think for most of us parenthood is so all consuming that it takes a long time to get to a place where you can actually start to 'find your old self' but it's really strange, I did just seem to wake up one day and feel ready to go again, and now I really look forward to 'my time'. Molly x

Was going to say do factor in money spent on tea/cake/lunch when hanging out with Mummy friends - it can add up over the course of a week, but it's true to say you save a lot you used to spend on going out. You can spend a lot on baby groups too - singing classes etc but I'd say try to find the free/cheaper stuff then fill in any gaps with more expensive classes if you have an 'empty' day - 1 a week max. They all come a bit later really anyway. Cloth nappies save a lot if you are inclined - around ?300-?400 max for all children versus ?1000 per child on posies. Equally washable wipes - better/more effective than cotton wool or wipes and about ?7.50 over 3 years versus ?400 on wet wipes over same time. Washable breast pads worked fine for me - the ones with lace on the back stay in place the best. Really babies can cost very little in the first 6 months, especially if breast fed, but if winter you have to factor in heating bills as you are at home full time etc. Hope this helps. Molly x

.....just hoping no 'straining' was involved, imagine.... ;-)

LOL but you'd have to have her little Sis too - not sure she'd settle without her now. Poor you with your son - maybe moving house and a bigger bed will do it - fingers crossed. Molly

Part of my cloth nappy demo involves telling parents that popper fastenings are toddler proof whilst Velcro is not for just this reason. Poor first time pregnant ladies and dads think I'm making it all up I'm sure!! No1 finally cracked poppers at 2 when only in night nappies, little Sis is trying but hasn't managed it yet (phew). Motherhood is just so glam eh?!! ;-) Molly

My 21 month old has just started sleeping with her 6 year old sister in a big double bed - soooo cute, and she is sleeping later in the mornings as well which is a brilliant result. We've put rails along her side of the double bed and have had to threaten a return to her cot a couple of times if she didn't snuggle down as she gets a bit excited at bedtime, but her big sis is very good at helping her to settle. We've still got a stairgate, though haven't had any issues with night time wandering, and the first thing she does in the morning now is come in to me. Much nicer being woken by her smiley face next to my bed than her crying/shouting from the next room. Molly

Millsa, had exactly this problem with eldest daughter, took about a month to get her over it, I initially had to have a nappy on for poos. I explained very simply - food goes in, what body doesn't use comes out as poo as is waste. (bin analogy above very good). Lots if reassurance and you'll get through it. If in disposables one thing to try is to cut a hole in the nappy and get them to sit on potty or loo. They feel security of nappy but actually poo falls through. After a few times they may stop needing the nappy. My daughter potty trained whilst on holiday in France and we only realised we had a poo issue when she couldn't hold it any longer and started running up the beach trying to escape it as it fell out. Funny now but not at the time! Just keep talking to him, keep explaining and show him you poos in the loo (yuk I know) he will get it in the end. Molly x

With you MrsMc, though I have to say that I was a light weight before having children, and now even more so. Two glasses of wine and I'm pretty tipsy, then ready to sleep - not much danger of me drinking huge quantities on that basis! I've always been quite relaxed about the odd glass of wine when breastfeeding, all things in moderation I say. Molly

Snowboarder, I feel your pain. We are lucky in as much as the first house we bought (from a friend) was this very 3 bed house in Nunhead...which was big enough for us to grow into....but for me, although our garden is really lovely and gets a lot of praise it will always be about a third of the size I would like......I grew up with an acre of land to play in, and although I wouldn't want anything that size to maintain (can't even keep the house clean these days), I would love to have a bit more space for the girls to play in. On a sunny day, by the time we have 2 sun loungers and the paddling pool set up there is barely room to move, though that is partly due to the flower beds I admit! However, on the positive side, I found with No.1 that as she got older it became easier and easier to make good use of all the local outdoor spaces (set back a bit my baby C, but she is getting there now). What I mean by it getting easier is less 'stuff' needed just to get out the door, and a lot more time spent just 'chilling out' in the park etc. We can walk fast with her on the scooter, or even all ride our bikes to the park now. Also, days out into town - so many brilliant places to go, playgrounds, free museums, the Southbank. I feel so lucky to have all that on our doorstep. When we visit friends in the country I do get a bit wistful I can't deny it, but I know if I was there I would equally be pining for what we had here.....I think the grass will always look greener, and it is very hard to find the 'perfect' place to bring up children so no right or wrongs here, but don't be too quick to write off what you've got. You know, I reckon it's a great plan to try to find some parents with children of a similar age and a decent sized garden, no shame in that. Equally they may be looking for someone with a fab home & kitchen to hang out in on rainy days - and I know you have that, so it can go both ways! Maybe a load of us should club together and buy a bijou place in the country so we can all escape for a week now and again....I can throw about ...oooh ?10 in if that helps?! Molly

Saw this on TV news about a week ago and thought it was a great idea, but for me it is too expensive....guess it depends what your potential days earnings are, plus because I work school hours my days are short. Lovely idea though. Molly

If you hunt around you can find some good offers - I got 100 iron on stickers with name and a mobile number, and it included 100 stick on labels for free, which you can put on things like scooters, bikes etc. Very useful. I think I got them from these people; http://www.mynametags.com/mynametags.com/ Molly

My understanding on nursery places is; - You apply at the school, not to Southwark - You should go and apply when the child is 2 - Places are allocated according to date of birth, distance from school, siblings etc and when you put your name down is not relevant. - They try to allocate so there is an equal number (more or less) of boys to girls Maybe it is different for some schools though? Molly

Splashabout neoprene swim nappies contain everything and can be washed if soiled (though fairly rare for babies to poo actually in the water). I tend to go with Jo Jo swim nappies as very cute - frilly bums etc and they perform pretty well though may not contain poo 100% - my little one spends most of the day at the pool in these though - we have two so can swap/swill/wash etc as needed. Their sizes are big IMO so make sure you try on baby in shop over a disposable for size. They also do matching hats and UV suits that are cotton and nicer I think than a lot on the nylony(?) type ones. Not cheap though I admit. Pool we use in Spain is unheated and can be pretty cool. We put her in a neoprene body warmer and she lasted a lot longer in the water. That was at 10 mo ths and we will use it again this year at nearly two (it just about still fits). I think they are well worth it. Tend to not use the UV Suit all the time even in Spain so still put suncream all over, but use it for the hottest part of the day, or if I feel she needs it. They tend to sleep for big chunk of the middle of the day anyway after all the excitement during the morning, so she's in the shade, naked or in just a nappy on a towel with a muslin over her for that bit anyway. I like to doze alongside her! Blissful hols! Molly x

I got foam bath letters that stick to the tiles. They have been really excellent as it is a time when I'm sitting there anyway and we can discuss how to spell, finding letters, making silly sentences etc so they have 'grown' with us. Found ours very cheap ?1-?2 in Tescos but am sure you'd get them on line too. Molly

It's all lies, lies, lies!!!

But I'd hate to be them doing that, wouldn't you? You can work for most of your life but those tiny baby days are gone in a flash! Molly

Big hugs F, such a horrible thing to have to go through twice. Very glad teeny weeny Fuschia is OK. Molly xxx