The Nappy Lady

Just curious to see if there is anything people feel we lack, given that we live in Nappy Valley and are pretty well catered for. Molly

I love the Sid and Andy Number Rap, it is hilarious, love the idea of them getting teased about it at the pub. Re the 'team' thing, I think in reality my hubby and I make a great team, but somehow we quite often manage to appear to fall out in the process of actually dealing with stuff pretty well. I guess it is often just that we are both tired and a bit stressed and we have got better at recognising this and not letting it turn into a major row. I think the jump from 1 to 2 children is much harder than the jump from 0 to 1, because suddenly there really isn't any respite from parenting, but then again maybe it is just that the early days with number 1 have faded after 5 long years! I sometimes feel he is harder on the children than I would be, so have to bite my lip and I'm not always good at that. In the long term I can see he's right, but in the moment I can find it hard not to 'jump in' if that makes sense. It doesn't help that we are both pretty stubborn, strong characters by nature and have children who have (surprise surprise) taken after us, so they don't take no for an answer easily either. Molly

Foofah (foof for short). No idea why. Minky also used by someone I know. Molly

Another viewpoint - I had always dreamed of having a baby girl, and my hubby was quite keen for a boy (as I think men often are - the whole son and heir thing). First time around we found out because my hubby said he didn't want to, even for a moment, feel a flash of disappointment when baby arrived if it was a girl. In retrospect I don't think he would have done (now I know how amazing the whole birth process is), but finding out it was a girl did give him plenty of time to adjust to the idea. Having said that I refused to believe them and still half expected to give birth to a boy, so the first thing I said when she arrived was "Is it a girl?"! Second time around, because I already had my baby girl(!) and because it felt so amazing to be even having another baby after all the problems we'd had I really didn't care less about finding out, but he was keen to know again, and so we did ask. Don't get me wrong, I'd have been delighted with boys too, but it was lovely to know I was having a baby girl, and I loved being able to call each of them by their name, even whilst in the womb (another thing I know some people find weird, but each to their own! Molly

I reckon we can comment on their answers as long as we play nice so we don't scare them off! Come on Keef and Woof, give us a starter for ten!

So......now I realise how scary/daunting this room is for the boys out there I thought I would try to encourage them to stop skulking in the corners! Question 1 - what would be your ideal Fathers Day / random treat? Question 2 - what do you reckon is the hardest thing about being a Dad? Question 3 - do you feel, in general, that you play / will play the role of stricter parent? Oooh a whole post without mention of bodily parts, fluids etc.....oh whoops....sorry!!! Molly

Thanks L, Think I am sorted, but will bear it in mind. Just had a 'mental moment' and didn't mean to bump the thread! Molly

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Another option is to stick magnetic strips which you get in DIY shops on a roll to the frame and then use magnets - fridge magnets or the like to hold the blind against the frame. Just a bit fiddly if you want to put it up and down for nap times etc. Molly

Helena, that's fair enough, as I said I was probably misreading your post, it just sounded so negative the way I was reading it initially, and I did think "are we really a mob?". Sorry if you felt got at, not my intention. I wish people would feel brave about posting their thoughts though. To be honest I didn't think that MANY threads in this room were confrontational enough to require private messages etc. but in the past week or two that seems to have changed a bit. Maybe it's my hormones? Like you I do have moments when I wonder why I don't just stay away. Keef, I think it is really unfair to start pulling up past quotes to try to make a point, especially if they have been made by different people, because it can change the context. Actually, if you look hard enough you can probably find places where I completely contradict myself, it wouldn't surprise me given regular levels of sleep deprivation. I probably don't make any sense at all most of the time. Just because a person doesn't have the same view as others, even the majority, it doesn't mean they are de facto wrong, or shouldn't post on here and I don't think I have ever suggested otherwise. In fact that was why I defended CurlyKaren's right to post this thread, but also why I hope you will continue to post here. It is a compliment if you still visit this room having given up on the rest of the forum to a certain extent. I would be really upset if I thought I had driven anyone away from the forum, even if I don't agree with their personal views, my main motivation for being here is to try to help other new parent's to survive and to pass on any useful knowledge, it scratches the same itch as doing the cloth nappy advice does I guess, but in a more widely accessible way. It actually means quite a lot to me. Anyway, going to have an early night as feeling tired and emotional!! Molly

Hi Poppy, Lots of options, but I would recommend the Splashabout Happy Nappy. It is made from neoprene (i.e. wetsuit material), with ribbed cuffs at the waist and legs and will contain ANYTHING baby may do in the water. In a lot of pools in Surrey you are only allowed in with one of these types of swim nappy because of sanitation issues. Not yet the rules here in London but may well change at some point. You can use the nappy on it's own, or over some kind of swim nappy (either a cloth one or a disposable one). Personally I've never bothered with either, if baby does poo in one, which is fairly unusual but can happy you can just turn the nappy inside out and rinse off / dispose of down the loo. Very easy to clean. You get them in different colours and patterns boy/girl/unisex and different sizes but they come up quite snug so if in doubt go for one size up. Way better than any of the disposable swim nappies etc. http://www.funswimshop.co.uk/splash-about-happy-nappy-swim-nappy-2-p.asp Also, if swimming in a cold pool I can highly recommend the neoprene baby warma suits, but not needed in the baby pools around here (we use on in Spain in a very cold pool, despite the heat baby could only do 10 minutes without the body suit, but would happily stay in for 30 minutes with it on! Molly

But newcomer, if a load of your mates on whether it is a boy or a girl surely there will be more than one winner, so difficult to split the winnings (unless you are going to pull one name out of the batch who said whichever sex is correct)...in which case you have to fix it even more. Liking your evil thinking though :)-D Molly

I don't want to believe that because I > am a women I can't consider views other than my > own, and even if it is a family forum people who > are willing to brave the mob and say how they feel > are needed here. Plenty of people silently agree > but are afraid to post, which I don't think serves > the intended purpose. HelenaHandbasket, Not sure if I am reading your post correctly, but I do hope you don't think the rest of us on here are incapable of considering others views. One of the lovely things about the forum is that you get so much input from different angles. Also, if people really are afraid to 'brave the mob' and post on a forum where they can do so anonymously I find that pretty strange, what on earth is there to be afraid of? How can we possibly know, or make assumptions as to whether they 'silently agree or disagree' unless they post themselves? Maybe they just don't have a view at all, who knows? The way I read your post it left me wondering why on earth you bother coming here as it sounds as if you really are not a big fan of the room at all, but I realise it is very easy to misinterpret written text without body language etc. to accompany it, so I hope that isn't the case. Molly

Agree, not trying to send you away Keef, just teasing not Keef bashing honest. Molly

My hubby has a not so secret crush on Sarah Jane from Higgledy House and she lives locally too!!! I am a Lazy Town fan too, for all the wrong reasons ;-)

Yes, yes, I was trying to avoid mentioning that thread Keef, but truly it was an exception to a very well established rule, even you must admit?? Compared to the rest of the forum it is incredibly rare to get any nasty, negative or whatever comments in here. C'mon 'nudge, nudge' you know were nice....;-) I think I am slowly but surely casting you in the role of 'Headmaster' in this part of the forum, keeping all us 'naughty girls' in line!!!! Are you this strict with your wife? Molly

Hiya, We found out both times, and both wanted to, my hubby found it easier to 'bond' with the bump being able to think of it as a little girl rather than an 'it'. It also makes it a bit easier on the buying front, especially if you want to pick up some 2nd hand stuff via the forum. If you a struggling with one set of names (we always found boys names very hard) it takes that nightmare away as you can focus on the names you are having...... However, when I watched One Born Every Minute the other night when they didn't know and hubby told her as baby was born I did for the first time understand the excitement of waiting to find out at that moment, and it brought a tear to my eye to hear him saying "it's a little girl" and the girl saying "is it?" "is it a little girl?" So sweet. Arrghhh, I don't know. To be honest it is so flipping fab having a baby I don't think it really matters either way. You will hopefully be blissed out during the baby moon either way! Let us know what you decide though (don't have to tell us the sex even if you know of course)!! Hugs, Molly x

Also, at the very worst CurlyKaren's original post could be claimed to be her 'speaking out' before thinking, in the same way the woman in the Post Office did. I'm not sure I would have wanted to confront the lady there and then, for fear of the child becoming aware of it, which would have been awful (if she reacted badly to effectively being 'told off' by a total stranger). Sometimes if you hear or see something that makes you feel an extreme emotion you need to go and share it with others (again maybe this is a girl thing, I think boys/men deal with a lot more stuff internally). I guess to a certain extent we do all 'gossip' on here, hands up but I would say it is pretty harmless stuff. Of course on a basic level the post was not necessary, but in the wider scheme of things, if it makes us all stop and think or deal with a situation like this better in the future, with or without our own children this can only be a good thing. I think what I find most sad is that the woman thought the sight of a bald head might upset other children. In my experience children deal with stuff like this much better than adults. They may want to have a good look, and ask questions about it, but if you deal with it openly and honestly they just accept it as 'fact' and get on with it. Poor little boy, I do hope he makes a full recovery, and Ruth, big up to your sister for getting such wonderful 'revenge' all those years ago! Molly

Hey ladies, What about going to one of these 'supper club' events for a future night out, not too expensive, bring your own wine...could be fun? http://suzannejames.co.uk/supperclub.asp Molly

There is a language school in Crystal Palace that I know at least one Au Pair goes to...don't know more than that though. Molly

Ahhh, just what I needed after spending the day with a snotty, grumpy 17 month old. I am so not a saint in any form, but thank you. I used to actively avoid the EDF for all the reasons your mentioned APenn, but love the family room, and all (oh ok...most!!) of the wonderful people who post on here. I feel I have learnt so much on here, and I feel it helps me to get the most out of my local area. I am really looking forward to some ED Mum's meetings in the park this summer. GROUP HUG!!!! (Blushing slightly and running off to hide in a corner).....:-$ Molly

Thanks Sophie, Would have to be a Wed or Fri for me to make it, not that I expect you to work around me, but thought I may as well tell you now in the hopes one of those days might suit others. :)) Molly

I didn't know that Mellors thanks for correcting me. It does sound like it is going to be tricky and expensive. Not ideal but another thought, could you switch to ground crew for a while til baby is older? Sorry, I know you are asking about Childcare not job alternatives and expect you have already considered all these options already. Really hope you can find a solution that works. Molly

Hi Angelique, A friend of mine has a job that takes her away for days at a time, and she has a live in Au Pair. It seems to work for them, though her daughter is older (5) and at school. I guess the hardest thing for you is that the baby will need full time care, with maybe some support from your hubby during the day, but I assume he is out in the evenings, so the carer will need to be willing to do evenings etc. But of course they will then get time off when you are back, so it will be swings and roundabouts - hard to combine with doing (for instance) an English course which is what many Au Pairs are here for, but would be OK for someone who just wanted to 'see the UK'. I assume from your post you don't have the option of changing your job so you only do short haul or UK only flights? Molly

Hi all, 16th should be OK for me, subject to getting a baby sitter. Molly x