The Nappy Lady

Hi Mellors, Well, in the summer if you could get them out in the sunshine they would bleach really well, that's the best natural option. Otherwise as Claire says, something like Vanish, or Ecover Bleach made up fairly weak. Given what you use them for I'm not sure I'd worry too much :-S Could always treat yourself to another pack given that it's only about ?7 for 36 of them. Agree about fleece liners, and you can even use them with paper over the top if you want, which still wicks the wetness away but makes it a bit easier to get rid of the poo! Molly

Oh Claire, if terry squares too bulky on a newborn, try using folded muslins instead - they work really well and are very slimline, cheap and quick drying. Can use the same waterproof wraps over the top as with the terries. If you need more absorbency lie 2 muslins together before folding. On our website we have lots of folds you can try - I found the Pad fold, Jo Fold and Kite Fold were all good. Best wishes, Molly :))

Hi Claire, Have pm'd back. Glad you've discovered the washable wipes...so much more effective than either cotton wool or wet wipes. Do you use with water, or with a home made solution? I use cold camomile tea with a glug of olive oil and few drops of lavender essential oil and it is lovely, but there are loads of other receipes you can try - will send them to you if you are interested. Molly

Tee hee, very good iaineasy.....and how is baby easy doing? Molly

Also...forgot to say, did you know that Southwark (and Lewisham) are signed up to the Real Nappies for London scheme. So you can apply for a ?40 (or ?30 in Lewisham) voucher to use towards the cost of your nappy system. If you go to the Real Nappies for London website you'll find all the details and can apply on line (and spend through The Nappy Lady via me if you want to ;-)). Best wishes, Molly

Guess you can always write the cost off as a business expense!! >:D

Fuschia, What I mean is that if the people before you don't get out on time then you wont have time to set your food up, if you plan to do that? Also, clearing up and vaccuming the room is your responsibility, and I know from the parties I've been to there the room is trashed at the end with food all over floor etc. and people rarely get out on time. Just don't want you stuck there waiting to get in, or under pressure to get out at the end, it may end up that you don't get the full hour in the room. Anyway, hope it works out. M x

Hello Wiggle, Not sure if I have done an advice letter for you yet off the back of a questionnaire...but if not, please feel free, I'd be happy to try to help you. Demo sessions still running at my place in Nunhead on alternate Wednesdays, though this week the session is full. Also, I have a full set of tiny cloth newborn nappies (Bimbles) with wraps, bucket etc. which I will happy loan out to people so you can try using cloth nappies full time on a baby under 15lbs, without them being HUGE. This gives you a much more realistic feel for what it's like, and also fit, because once baby grows a bit the 'usual' options - Tots Bots, Motherease etc. fit a lot better, but in those tiny newborn days they do seem so massive. All I ask in return for the loan is a bottle of wine, and a ?50 refundable deposit - this is just to make sure I get everything back as it would cost me a lot to replace it all. When it comes to choosing the right system for your baby you need to take into account your own priorities, drying facilities, likely build of baby (based on parents if not born yet), long term child care plans and plans for more children / possibly having 2 in nappies at once. I can help with all that, and tell you about using washable wipes instead of wet wipes too, which save you about ?400 over 3 years, and also avoids yet more chemicals. All good! Hope this helps. Best wishes, Molly 07977 130318 www.thenappylady.co.uk [email protected]

Eugh, what a nightmare. I would ask about being put in the classroom across from gym fire e it for the food bit as otherwise don't see how you will have time to set up or clear up afterwards. I went to a party a while back where they used the classroom and it worked really well. Might take the pressure off a bit. How annoying. Molly

To add to the debate - I believe that it was in such a bad way a good few years back, that the council sold it to the housing association for ?1......any truth in that?

JoJoBaby, My now 5 year old slept 12 hours a night from 10 weeks old, without any crying etc. So yes, it does happen. My 15 month old is now, finally sleeping 7.30pm to 6am, and it has made a huge difference to the entire family, because I am no longer exhausted from spending 2 hours a night in bed with her, whilst she wriggles, breast feeds on and off and generally tries to have a party! Whilst I have most certainly given my life over to motherhood and embraced it with open arms I don't think those final night time sessions were doing either of us any favours, and it only took a couple of nights of us lying her back down and patting her back until she went back to sleep for her to understand that the milk bar was no longer open in the middle of the night. I know for a fact that the entire family is benefitting from not having an exhausted Mummy, waking up each morning at 6am is a joy, I virtually bounce out of bed, and my 15 month old goes into her cot very happily at bedtime, and greets me with a cheerful 'Hiya' when I go in to get her each morning. All good as far as I can see. I do find it amazing just how contentious an issue this can be though. Really. Molly

This is so true; "but you'll find that when a baby is ready to eat, you won't be able to stop her: she'll mug you for your dinner!" Try having her on your lap while you eat food and see what happens - I did this at lunch and discovered baby C loves cooked smoked salmon - supposed to be my treat - cheeky monkey! Molly

Hi Ludoscotts The Nappy Lady does some really lovely bed protectors - they are rubber, so totally waterproof, but with cotton bonded onto each side. Lovely and soft to sleep on, not hot, or crackly to lie on etc. I've got quite a few - used to have one under me in bed when breastfeeding to save the mattress, and also used them in my older girls bed before she was reliably dry at night. She slept directly on it, and when she had an accident it made it so easy as you could literally just pull out the wet sheet and she went straight back to sleep - no fuss (she had another protector under her sheet, so even if there had been a 2nd accident it wouldn't have mattered though that never happened). She actually used to get up, pull out the protector and go back to sleep all on her own bless her! You'd be welcome to borrow one of mine to try and if you like it you could get some from us - this is the page on our site if you want to read more; https://www.thenappylady.co.uk/public/productdetails.aspx?id=40&item=bed If you buy through me I can give you the 5% advisor discount. I can't advise on disposables and night time, but in terms of getting dry at night, my eldest was 2 and dry by day, but 3.5 by the time she was reliably dry at night - as a very good sleeper it took her a long time to be able to wake up at night and go to the loo. We tried lifting her but she would still wet the bed - I think probably as she was waking up in the morning before fully awake. Not everyone is pro lifting, but I don't think it makes much difference, like most things, they do eventually work out what they should be doing, however you approach it. Best wishes, Molly

Sam, You are having a rough time just now one way and another! The whole not eating thing is so upsetting I know, and I do think if you are really, really worried you should maybe go and get baby ymenik21 weighed regularly etc. so you can see whether weight gain is all OK. But I do know lots of babies who are like this. Baby C (15 months) eats loads some days but hardly anything on others, and at times nothing but yoghurt and breast milk which is still her favourite thing. My friend's little one currently exists on crackers and cream cheese more or less! What I do now is give Baby C her cereal in a bowl and we both have a spoon - she tries to feed herself and it goes all over, but inbetween I manage to get mouthfuls in, so she does eat. Breakfast is the best real of the day in that respect. The rest is all very hit and miss. Re cleaning up - you need a dog.....ours sits under the highchair and hoovers up and whilst I know it isn't great in some ways I still thank heaven for her. She was away for 2 days over Christmas and I couldn't believe the amount of extra cleaning I had to do after every meal!! I do clean my floors honest, but I just don't have to do the whole food picking up thing....but I think maybe you just have to brave it - get some floor cleaning spray and a few rolls of cheap kitchen roll, or those Ikea flannels they sell in the baby department, and just wipe up after every meal. I have loads of those flannels and just bung them straight in the washing machine after I use one and seem to have a wash on most days now anyway with 4 of us to wash for. Don't give up hope, she will eat, and even small amounts are good....remember how tiny her tummy is. Don't do special stuff for her though, just do meals for you and hubby and keep little bits of everything in pots in the fridge, then offer her a selection - she'll love the selection of colours, textures and flavours, and less effort for you. Oh - also, not so easy I know, but if you can do meal times with her, or even better with other children - the best meals for me are the ones when I've got about 3 five year olds plus baby C at the table, and they all seem to eat up then - no idea why but they spur each other on. Maybe arrange play dates to coincide with meal times? Molly x

Hi sb.....such a hard decision, but I think your rationale makes complete sense, as long as you can leave earlier pretty much every day as a result of going up to 4 days per week. I am assuming you don't have the option of a job share, with someone else picking up the 2 days, or even 2.5 days to give you a 'handover' overlap. This is luxury I know, but was a situation that occured once back in my days in the city. I think 3 days at home being Mum and 4 days working is still a very good balance, and MUCH better if both your home and work life ends up being more relaxed as a result of the change. Mellors - so sorry things didn't work out for you, but it sounds like you were doing all you could to make it happen, and I know from previous threads that City Law is not really suited to part time. Hope you enjoy your new role (are you going to be a SAHM, or will you be looking for a different part time role?)....I imagine you are counting down the days either way.........maybe see you loitering in the park some time in the spring!! Molly

Hurrah - was at work today and peering over wondering if baby easy was home yet! So pleased for you, hope the cat's nose isn't too much out of joint. Enjoy the babymoon! Molly

Other than the odd bit of baby sitting I hadn't had any contact with babies before I had my own, so I used GF as a (very rough) guide so I had some idea of how a day would work. I never really tried to follow the full routine, but it did give me an idea of when naps would probably happen, that a bath before bed helps to settle them etc. I think every parent finds their own routine and tactics in the end, and for many the best way to do this is to read a few books and take the bits that work from there, plus forums, conversations with other parents, and of course good old fashioned instincts. First time around I think it is the latter that is hardest of all to trust in, and so probably those of us with the least experience of children lean most heavily on the books, but I reckon we all end up finding a path that works for our own family. Surely that is what good parenting is all about? Molly

I know others have stayed at Salvation Army appartments at Denmark Hill. Basic but inexpensive - worth checking out maybe? Molly

Just laughing at us all taking babies with us around the house when they are tiny and immobile, what do we think they are actually going to do if we leave them alone on a mat for 5 minutes?! Playgroups with tiny baby are lovely though as you get to sit and natter and drink tea without having to go and rescue them from climbing on chair/pushing another child/wielding paint brush over another child's head etc. etc. But must admit I liked being able to sit and watch rubbish daytime TV and snoozing whilst breastfeeding (not recommended I know, but sometimes it just happens) in those first couple of months. Molly

Hello Mrs C, HUGE congratulations on the arrival of your baby. I remember the first time I was home alone with baby no.1 and it did feel a bit daunting. Re showering - I found that if you pop baby in a bouncy chair or similar in the room with you they are often content to watch you shower (even relax in a bath - even better)! You can always sing to entertain them! As they get older I had a stairgate outside the bathroom on the landing leaving access to the nursery and the bathroom so baby would potter back and forth etc. and it always seemed to work well. There are times when they cry, but rare, and they do seem to learn that when you are in the shower they just have to get on with it. I know others leave baby in the cot whilst showering, which is also a good option as you know they are safe and contained, or wait until nap time. Toilet trips - take them with you (yes really), or before they are mobile leave them on a play mat! I find they always seem to wake up and want holding when you are trying to get yourself some food, or just as you sit down to eat it. Having a relaxed meal becomes a distant memory, and when they are asleep you end up rushing around trying to do the 100 jobs you have on your list, but my advice would be to make a list divided into 3 columns headed up MUST be done, SHOULD be done, COULD be done, then think long and hard about what really needs to go into the MUST be done column....cleaning and ironing go in COULD be for sure, and to be honest the more stuff you can let slip for the next few months the better, it isn't the end of the world. I would say having a shower, and (if you wear it) putting make up on is very important though as it makes you feel good/better about yourself, even if your clothes have baby sick on etc!! My lovely Mother in Law actually gave me this advice, told me so what if the house only gets cleaned now and again, in a years time you can clean it every week if you want to, and those baby cuddles will be a dim and distant memory - she was so right! But do try to eat as first priority when baby naps in the day, rather than doing the jobs first, otherwise you end up not eating...oh and when you get the chance to make a cup of tea/coffee make extra and put some in a flask, that's a great tip I got from someone else on here! 2nd time around it was all much easier, but I still had moments of lugging baby around on hip, doing it all one handed and feeling tired and emotional...that's motherhood I guess. Oh, if anyone wants to visit, give them baby for a cuddle and do as much as you can, whilst you can with 2 hands!! People don't always like to ask for a cuddle, but really want one, and you can get LOADS done whilst they enjoy baby time. Lots of lovely baby groups around, all friendly and worth trying to know of 1 thing to potentially do each day (when you feel like it), to get you out of the house a bit. Stuff close to home is good, not sure where you are logistically, but check out Surestart stuff, bookstart at the library, the Friday morning thing now on at the Magdala, NCT thing on Friday mornings I think at Goose Green (Bumps and Babes?), Ivydale School playgroup Mon, Wed, Fri mornings if you are Nunhead way..... Good luck! You will be fine! Molly

Alison, I'm sure I have posted on here before about this. I bought a buggy pod for my childminder to use on her double buggy a few years ago so my then 2.5 year old didn't have to walk when she did the school run. It did help a bit, but wasn't great - a big hassle to fit, always working loose again, and also eventually pretty much ruined the buggy it was attached to due to the extra weight etc on the side of it. A great idea, but sadly not so good in practice. Overall the buggy board with the step that they can sit on seems to work better, as long as one of the children is old enough to cope with it. Otherwise, though a big expense one of these buggys would be a worthwhile investment for a childminder I reckon as you have the option of adding or removing the 3rd seat from the handle; http://www.gobubbago.com.au/index.php?main_page=product_info&cPath=31&products_id=26 Works out at about ?400 to have shipped from NZ I believe, but have seen 2 or 3 of them around this area recently. Molly

LOL Helena Handbasket - my hubby brought me a huge tub of Bag Balm back from America, didn't know you could get it over here. It is great stuff (for hands)! I too have ended up with sore hands during first year or so with each baby, and eczema started up under my rings, due to all the handwashing etc. I think if you can use handcream as much as possible - keep tubes all over the house, and try also to put lots on a bedtime, with white cotton gloves over the top if need be, it really helps (even if you do feel a bit silly). Molly

I'm hopeless, cry at everything - first time she did ballet (just too cute), first Christmas, first time they say Mummy....oh and of course the first nativity play which was just a few weeks ago, but oddly didn't cry at all when she started nursery or school. No idea why. Strange.

Oh well, maybe if it melts before you get around to doing the project , wasn't sure how urgent it was.

Lorraine, I got a mix of colours from the fabric shop in Lewisham - do you know it? More or less opposite the main entrance/exit for the shopping centre, where all the market stalls are. Molly