fuzzyboots

Thank you buggie. I'm wavering in and out of shock, completely dazed and in disbelief and also anger, because he was very obviously drunk (in fact this particular gentleman has approached me and my son before in the barbers on East Dulwich Road and tried to force my son (aged 3) to take ?5 off him (!). So as soon as I saw him on the zebra crossing and how slowly he was moving, I was being ultra, ultra cautious. And a fat lot of good that did either him or me... The adrenaline has mostly subsided now. But I still can't quite believe it happened. If I'd actually been at any fault I guess it would in some ways be easier to take in - but I wasn't. It feels rather like being hit by a meteor, tbh. Completely out of the blue and very unpleasant. :( :( :( :( If I'd not waited to check he'd crossed completely, my car wouldn't have been where it was when he fell over. So many if onlys, but there we are. To cap it all, my children are very distressed at the non appearance of their mother at the usual time/routine, so my evening is panning out very badly. Hence me hiding in the office and typing this, instead of ministering to my kids, who need a bit of tlc, too.

As the driver of the car involved, I can reveal that the man who was injured on his head had already crossed the road at the zebra crossing, very shakily (he was apparently very drunk) and I waited for him to cross properly on to the pavement. He was then reaching out for the lamppost (whilst standing on the pavement) and I drove away to the roundabout junction lines. Then he fell into my car. I didn't run over his head. But I do think my wheel hit his head. According to the traffic police officers who interviewed me, his head would have been completely mashed if I'd run over him (which it wasn't). The air ambulance arrived along with all the emergency vehicles mentioned before. I was interviewed under caution, (not arrested), breathalysed (I don't drink) and then my car was inspected by the traffic police. The police cordoned off the entire area. My daughter couldn't go to the doctor's appointment, the NHS rescued this man and the last I heard, he had had an x ray and they were waiting for a CT scan before they'd (the doctors) would know whether his injury (on the left hand side of his forehead/temple) was "life changing" or "life threatening". I'm sorry guys - I'm pretty stressed and het up about this at the moment. The man literally fell into my car and there were at least 3 witnesses who corroborated this. What I find most distressing/upsetting is that I actually waited before the zebra crossing to be absolutely sure he'd crossed safely, because I could see how drunk he was. Had I not waited then he wouldn't have fallen into the rear passenger door of my car. I hope that satisfies curiosity. I'm not able to get an update on his health because I'm not a relative. A pretty rubbish day for me, him and most of South East London if the local traffic jams it caused were anything to go by. :(

As the driver of the car involved, I can reveal that the man who was injured on his head had already crossed the road at the zebra crossing, very shakily (he was apparently very drunk) and I waited for him to cross properly on to the pavement. He was then reaching out for the lamppost (whilst standing on the pavement) and I drove away to the roundabout junction lines. Then he fell into my car. I didn't run over his head. But I do think my wheel hit his head. According to the traffic police officers who interviewed me, his head would have been completely mashed if I'd run over him (which it wasn't). The air ambulance arrived along with all the emergency vehicles mentioned before. I was interviewed under caution, (not arrested), breathalysed (I don't drink) and then my car was inspected by the traffic police. The police cordoned off the entire area. My daughter couldn't go to the doctor's appointment, the NHS rescued this man and the last I heard, he had had an x ray and they were waiting for a CT scan before they'd (the doctors) would know whether his injury (on the left hand side of his forehead/temple) was "life changing" or "life threatening". I'm sorry guys - I'm pretty stressed and het up about this at the moment. The man literally fell into my car and there were at least 3 witnesses who corroborated this. What I find most distressing/upsetting is that I actually waited before the zebra crossing to be absolutely sure he'd crossed safely, because I could see how drunk he was. Had I not waited then he wouldn't have fallen into the rear passenger door of my car. I hope that satisfies curiosity. I'm not able to get an update on his health because I'm not a relative. A pretty rubbish day for me, him and most of South East London if the local traffic jams it caused were anything to go by. :(

I think everyone probably knows that I'm a Puddleduck enthusiast! However, my boy is quite "sensitive" and when moving up to the new venue, the staff had completely prepared for some tears and tribulations from him (And others) and I was fully anticipating some stress with settling into the "New" PUddleduck. I have to tell you though, I was bowled over. He went straight in, found his peg, put his name and picture on the board and went over to "bag" the doggy costume in the home corner (it's an obsession with him!) and that was that. HE didn't need me, he didn't want me there and he was most annoyed when I came to pick him up. I shouldn't have been surprised really, because the Children absolutely adore P/D staff and are completely comfortable with them. How are mums of new starters finding their settling in period? I think a few are starting in the new couple of weeks. Would be good to hear some (unbiased!) reports of your experiences.

Hi all, Trish here from Sing and Sign (again!). Thanks for your kind comments :) We DO take babies of about 6 months, especially if parents are back at work by the time their baby's/babies are 8/9 months. In an ideal world, we'd suggest that 8/9 months is the absolute best age to come to our classes, but life isn't always that convenient timing wise! Babies are much more sociable and less "mummy-focused" at this age and so get much more out of the class experience. You can, however, start signing at home with your baby as soon as you wish. Babies go through a real language/communication development explosion between 9 - 12 months, which is presumably why they seem to particularly enjoy our classes/signing with their grownups from this age onwards. We're running a free taster session at Goose Green THIS FRIDAY (6th Nov) at 10.30 a.m. - so if anyone would like to come along to find out more about us/drill us with questions, please contact me direct and if we've still got places, I'll gladly book you in. Our next term starts mid Jan 2010 (yikes!) so if your baby will be 6 months plus then, please do get in touch. We run classes Mon, Weds, Fri and Sat at Goose Green in the mornings, and also at Soup Dragon on Thursday mornings (and elsewhere, but these are the most local classes for ED families). If you can't make it this Friday, keep your eyes skinned with Bumps and Babes at St Faiths on Fridays - we've been known to turn up there, courtesy of the lovely Alice Yeates. I started signing with my daughter when she was nine and a half months and she was signing back a week before she was one. With my son, I signed with him from the day he was born and the little DEAR didn't sign back at all until he was 14 months old and really only got going when he was 18 months at which point he decided speech might be fun too! Every child is different. I HAVE seen (very, very occasionally) babies signing at 6/7 months, but that is exceptional, imho. For the majority of babies it is somewhere "around" a year - between 10 and 15 months, when the penny drops. But my goodness, once the penny does drop, the signs usually come thick and fast! If anyone's got any questions/queries, please don't be shy. Ask away :) :) :) All the best, Trish

Sorry James. Things have obviously changed since I did it!

Sorry to say, I was primary school pg! Goodness knows how I'd have coped at a secondary school!!!!!!! Would probably have resigned in desperation. I cannot fault the amount of information provided - I just personally wasn't able to assimilate it all effectively. Rather a baptism of fire. And I worked for a small, 3rd sector organisation, and delightful and public spirited though my boss genuinely was, there wasn't the capacity for me to not be at work. However, I am NOT knocking becoming a PArent Governor at all - I think it's very good for parents to be involved and to bring their own skillset to their children's schools. I guess it's more that I feel rueful that I wasn't honest with myself/well enough informed/able to estimate the amount of commitment it takes to do the role well and effectively. I think I was motivated by worthiness rather than the sure knowledge that I could make a valuable contribution rather than just be a bum on a seat. Things have changed a lot in the last decade since I was a PG and there's fortunately a much bigger pool of capable, willing, available parents which I think is brilliant. I hope I haven't deterred anyone from standing for election, unless, like me they are unrealistic about how much they can take on/how good a job they can do! I'm all for parents being involved in their schools,but more especially, I'm all for the parents who can really deliver being the ones who stand for election. Let's just say, I experienced the Peter Principle when I did my stint! A case of enthusiasm overriding my ability! Actually, I felt it was very sad that there was no other parent even willing to stand for election - I felt it said a lot about the lack of involvement that parents had at that particular school and sadly the school was quite obviously all the poorer for that, despite having very dedicated staff.

Hi guys, As a former parent governor of a primary school in North Peckham about 12 years ago, I'd just like to tell any parents considering this voluntary role, to be sure they can make the time/energy/reading commitment that being a school governor entails. It is NOT an easy ride, and, depending on the leadership of the school, it can become a bit of a poison chalice if you're not clear about what it is you're taking on. Admittedly, when I did it 12 years ago, it was rather by default, because nobody else volunteered! I really wanted to make a positive contribution to my son's school, but I was completely naive about the commitment required. At times, hardly a day went by without policy documents for x,y and z dropping through my door. Then there was training. Then there were the actual (frequent) meetings. Then there were the working groups for particular issues like sex education, finance, building maintenance, special needs, etc. Not to mention the need on occasion to attend what were then called "Exclusion Panels". I was completely overwhelmed and felt I was doing the school a very poor service because I just couldn't cope with the amount I had to learn and the time requirements. So, IF you're highly organised (I'm not and I wasn't then), you have a burning passion and time to commit, then DO stand to be a parent governor. If you're not, then I'd seriously recommend you to demur and contribute to your child's school in another, equally valuable way! Trish x

You can definitely "feel the quality" with M&S and they do wash very well, but I've found Sainsbury's offerings to be perfectly acceptable. They don't wash as well, though. Nor do the George ones, but for the price of replacing them, it's not worth losing sleep over it. And of course, the children keep growing out of them before they're absolutely knackered, in my experience!

Hi Gimme/Gubodge My boy's got a severe allergy to peanuts, and a moderate allergy to hazelnuts, almonds and coconut. I also know that he's allergic to sesame and walnuts through experience. So I deduce that cashews and pecans are definitely off the menu. I completely take your point about learning which nuts he's actually allergic to, but until we've seen the dietician/allergy clinic at King's, I've been advised to keep him absolutely nut free as far as is possible. Yes, I'm already adapting to the no nut regime, but remembering to take the Epipens every time we leave the house is proving a bit trickier! I'm confident that his nursery (Puddleducks) will be absolutely brilliant at keeping him nut free. I also received another really helpful pm from a teacher who recommended that his medications be kept in a box with his picture on as well as his name and that allergic children were trained to use a code word if they started to feel odd, so that a) any adult could get the right meds to him without needing to know his name and b) they can act quickly. As for parties, I shall just have to be organised (gulp!) and provide him with nut free food and alert the party host/ess to the need for foods to be nut free. Fortunately my boy is an absolute fruit fanatic, so if that's all he needs me to send him with to parties, I, for one, shan't be complaining. He doesn't like cake anyway (he's very slightly intolerant to eggs), so that's not an issue, thank goodness. And he's not bothered with pastry in any guise. Thank goodness pasta is nut free!

Thanks - that's really helpful advice. I'm just a beginner with this allergy lark. I have to say, I was probably in the slightly flippant camp myself before the birth of my youngest, and he's not only nut allergic and asthmatic, but has wonky eyesight and only one kidney which has severe reflux... But honestly to look at him, you wouldn't suspect a thing, which is great. Mercifully he's not a sickly little thing - quite robust in fact and certainly not going to let these things get him down. I really like the suggestion of providing alternative treats through the year - I hadn't thought of that at all. It would take the worry/risk out of things for everyone concerned by doing that. I really don't want him to be stigmatised or set apart any more than absolutely necessary because of the nut allergy and nor do I want to put his significant people like teachers, friends, friends' families in difficult situations either. I did rather alarm our babysitter the other day when I went through the anaphylactic shock procedure! Guess I'm going to have to get used to that. Thanks so much for responding. I've also received a lovely PM and phone call from a grown up nut allergy sufferer which was immensely helpful and reassuring.

I faced this possibility and decided to give up work instead! I think if you're driving it's no problem. But if you're on public transport, it can be v. stressful, no matter how broad your shoulders are. Pushchairs seem to get the worst reaction because they take up so much space and slow you down and therefore everybody behind you. If you can do it in a sling, so much the better, I reckon. I'd choose a brightly coloured sling over a discreet one, so that people can see that you're not just a single body when they try to barge past/round you.

My younger son's just been diagnosed with a severe nut allergy and we've duly taken charge (yikes!) of Epipens and almost more antihistamine than I can shake a stick at. Which is fine. He also has asthma, which is par for the course, but doesn't help. But I have to say I'm struggling to get my head round the implications of a totally Nut Free Life. I'm waiting for an appointment with Kings' Allergy Clinic and Dietician, but would really like to make contact with people in the same position as me who are actually living with it. Are there any local families/allergy groups that meet round here? I definitely feel in need of some moral support. The idea of facing a life where I have to introduce my son with "And he's got a severe nut allergy" as part of his name and then demonstrating how/when to use the Epipen/antihistamine fills me with dread/despair. And how on earth do you deal with parties/school outings, etc?! Feeling a bit overwhelmed with the responsibility of it all, not to mention the very flippant attitude of some of my husband's friends(6), who seem to think that I'm fussing about this potentially fatal allergy. Dear God - as though I'd choose this for my son/our family lifestyle:'(.....! Sorry - rant over! But if anyone has info/support to share/guide me to, I'd be really, really appreciative. Thanks, Trish x

Hi Kate, You could always try our Sing and Sign classes. On every morning in East Dulwich except Tues and Sunday, also Forest Hill and Brockley. PM me if you'd like more info/a booking form, etc. We have loads of fun in them -if you search through the Forum I think you'll get a feel for what we're like, but of course, please do ring me if you'd like to discuss things in person. All the best, Trish x

Hi Fuschia, That's very sad and must have been incredibly difficult to cope with at such a young age. I lost my dad when I was 21 and I still struggle with it, 20 years later. I still really wish that he could have know me as an adult and met my children - he died 3 months to the day before DS1 was born. But I still had my mum right until two years ago. (For better and worse!)So she did meet all of my kids and had a strong, positive loving relationship with the older two. Sadly, my youngest was only 16 months when she died, so he doesn't remember her at all. It is really great and admirable that you can hold close your mum's encouragement of you all and also how you can relate retrospectively to what a strong woman and loving mother she must have been. I think it's often only when you lose someone so major in your life and have to forge your own way without them that you start to realise quite what they meant and did for you. Perhaps particularly so when becoming a parent for the first time (and every other time of course). It's then that you can end up thinking "What would Mum have done?". Bloody hard though not to have that older generation available to pass on some wisdom/calm/love/support in person. ...Sigh.... HUGS

@CurlyKaren Yikes! YEs, shoving in as much breast as possible does help. As does a howl/a very firm "NO, THAT HURTS" and removing them from the breast immediately. I found with all of mine that they were much more bitey and chewy and sucky when they were teething. Don't think it was the milk they were after, just something to chew on. You have my sympathy. I think you'd be pretty lucky if you convinced a solely breast-fed baby to accept a nipple shield. If your baby knows about bottles/soothers, you might get away with it though. Good luck!

LOL! Am SO like my mother (who died just over two years ago) that I spend a lot of time in therapy reflecting on the many irritations I felt with her and then having that being run over by a juggernaut realisation (nearly every bloody time!) that I do the same things to my own (long suffering) children. "Manners maketh man" "I want doesn't get" "You'll understand why this is important when you're older" (Don't say that yet, but can feel the pressure to blurt it out building up fast!) "Just because "X" does it, doesn't mean you should" ad infinitum On the other hand, being compulsively contrary, there are lots of things that I do that are exactly the opposite of my mother, which initially gives me great satisfaction only to be replaced by a feeling of annoyance that I'm reacting against her even in my differences (And now that she's dead). I often catch myself sounding like her, doing the same heavy breathing when I'm concentrating hard on something practical, laughing like her, and even the way I move... drives me up the wall and will undoubtedly keep me in therapy for YEARS! ;)

There's also a decent amount of easy, cheap, quick recipes on Netmums. I often have a dig around there when my brain goes empty at dinner time (happening more and more frequently...!)

@BellendenBear. Really like your view of babies thriving on a routine that suits them rather than a generic one. Complete commonsense! One size routine does not fit all, but that doesn't mean a different routine couldn't work perfectly. Why didn't I think of that nearly 20 years ago with my first one. Would have been SO helpful, instead of stressing that I "couldn't cope" with routines. T x

Music is incredibly soothing and reassuring to babies. And very very useful in so many ways. Could wax lyrical about it endlessly (;-)), but would be rather off topic! Nursery rhymes, lullabies, etc... they don't exist just for fun! They're incredibly useful training, learning tools and well as the stuff of happy childhood. In existence well before any expert decided to even write a book or have a theory. In fact, I suspect they were in existence pretty much since the dawn of mankind formalising verbal language. Don't think it would exist in so many aboriginal cultures throughout the world, otherwise. Try it and see. I bet you don't regret it! I still sing a lot to my children when I'm doing the transition thing and I often sing instead of speaking. Helps lighten things up a bit and certainly improves my mood!

Sure! Babies pick up on the rhythm of the words, if that's all there is on offer. They are remarkably clever if you just trust them to be. Honestly, some of our mums in classes are not the best singers (although not all of them seem to be aware of that...!) but it doesn't matter. As far as your baby's concerned, you have the most lyrical, enchanting, lovely voice in the world, even if you croak like an aged, hoarse frog. :)) Sing up and sing proud!

Hopping in on the back of this - whatever your routine turns out to be, can I recommend that you sing your babies through the transition from one "activity" to the next? This is done a lot in nurseries to ease children out of playing one thing and then, for example, it being time to tidy the toys away. If your baby can learn the cues for things like nap time, bed time lunch time, bath time, etc very gently by you singing a familiar song that they learn to associate with this particular activity you will find that they make the transition very easily. For instance, when I start singing twinkle twinkle little star (or the Sing and Sign lullaby) to my 3 and a half year old, he immediately starts yawning and looking drowsy! Fabulous! Of course, I would recommend signing about your routines with your baby, but the music trick works like magic if you're consistent. That way, if the timing is out of kilter on a day to day basis, at least you can trigger the desired transition to an activity without any fuss, simply by singing. HTH! Trish x

Gosh, what a thought provoking thread, Belle! And it just goes to show how adaptable we all are and that there are as many solutions as there are families, one way or another. Trish x

@littleEDfamily Couldn't agree more. When we have dads in our Sing and Sign classes it really beefs up the singing and the atmosphere's definitely different. Maybe it helps that we've got a specific thing/activity to concentrate on? It's also absolutely fascinating, when mums and dads alternate attendance at classes, or come together, to see how differently their children behave with each parent! At one stage, my Saturday morning toddler class had 10 dads and 2 mums. It was wild (and great fun)! Trish/Fuzz

Yeah me too. Quite honestly, it was hell on earth working full time, out from 7.30 til 6.30, rushing to do dinner, bath, story, bed time every night. As EDFamily said, I felt like I was niether succeeding at work or at home and wherever I was, the other was on my mind at least some of the time. And I was EXHAUSTED, stressed, and terrified of losing my job, so my employer did very well out of me in terms of dedication. (Lovely employer, I have to say). This was with baby no. 1 and there weren't half the safeguards, legal protection, tax credits, etc that there are these days. It wasn't really worth me going to work then financially, either, BUT I needed to get my foot on the working ladder and needed at least some cash flow, even though I was going into debt every month. Should have kicked out his lazy, good for nothing dad, and then I could have had qualified for a lot more State support. TBH, whatever you do, you have to grit your teeth and get on with it. The most difficult thing is when you are obliged to go back to work, for whatever reason, and then you see all your SAHM friends not having to juggle everything so tightly and you can absolutely YEARN to go back to that. I think that 100% work or 100% mothering doesn't suit the majority of women, in their ideal world. I would go potty if I didn't have Sing and Sign but I chose it specifically because, as Molly pointed out, so that I could be there at both ends of the school run, for school trips, activities, and just simply being there during the school holidays and when they need me. The admin is never ending, but like Molly said, you end up fitting it in to late night or early morning sessions in order to devote the daylight hours (and longer...) to your children/proper work! Trish x