Fuschia

buggie Wrote: ------------------------------------------------------- > Fuschia - the breach in confidentiality by your > midwife is very concerning to me... especially as > she specifically looked up the records rather than > knowing as she was involved. Also it is a very > black and white view - she didn't add whether > there had possibly been further problems/issues > with the pregnancies that could have caused this > (and could be why they'd needed closer > monitoring/medical care). > > Think it's very unfair to suggest that twin II > died in both cases just because they had a more > medical route/didn't have their own midwives with > them. I'm guessing this was via the register of births, as she was only there as a friend to the woman she was with, she wouldn't have had access to any hopsital records. But I guess it is possible to find this info out via publicly available info, else she wouldn't have known. Or maybe her "client" who may have been in hospital for a few days afetr the birth, realised what had happened because she had contact with the other poor mothers? I didn't ask for any details, I really didn't want to think about it at all, TBH!! And of course, who knows what went wrong? I did take the point, though, that the hospitals do have valid reasons for worrying about twin II... I know a few twin mums from online fora who have problems with twin II (cerebral palsy, in two cases) due to problems with the birth. But I certainly have talked a lot to other twins mums about their births, ranging from homebirths which were great to a homebirth that went horribly wrong, to women who opted for a CS to those who didn't want one, to those who had a vaginal birth with a lot of intervention, to those who didn't... point I'm trying to make, really, is opting for a CS or a very medicalised birth isn't necessarily "safer" and there are "high risk" births, like twin births, where all you can do is to talk to those who have expertise, and try to judge where on the scale your own case falls, and then decide what you want to do... My own consultant wa shappy for em to declien continuis monitoring unless a problem began to manifest.. while the consultant on duty the night I gave birth had quite a different view and was trying to convince me to have it. But what i wanted more than anything was to be mobile and able to choose how to give birth, and I was confident a good midwife with a listening device would be able to spot if something was going wrong. The (hospital) midwives were with that as well. Even midwives and drs don't always agree.. and the drs are very risk averse because once they are involved things are often going wrong... but it doesn't mean every woman should have a CS just to be "safe" or even have an epidural and continuous monitoring etc etc... it's not justtified by the risk in your average birth.

There might be a Lewisham policy not to admit the pupils before Jan 2011. mayeb speak to Lewisham admissions as well as the school?

Ok, I have a double buggy with pink and blue stripey snuggles,a nd a cow patterned blanket and usually sit in front of the climbing wall thing.. and will be there about 10. Happy to swap mobile nos by PM if anyone wants.

I think your reaction to these issues depends very much on your experience and trust in the medical profession. If you know someone who has had things go wrong in a natural birth, you will look more favourably on intervention/CS. If you have reasons to be suspicious of hospitals, or problems that arose from unnecessary intervention your perspective will be different. Twin birth can be quite risky for twin II. I knew a homebirth wasn't really an option (though I had two independent mws with me at kings as "supporters" and the have delivered quite a few twins at home. But being also on blood thinners... my feelings were being IN hospital but minimal intervention unless clearly indicated was a good compromise for us. I was clear I didn;t want continual monitoring or to have to lie down unless there was a problem, this worked well for me... birth was very fast. One thing really, really stuck in my mind. My MW said that they had been friends to another twin mum giving birth in hospital. (All went well) There were two other wome having twins that night at the same hospital and the births were being very heavily managed (delivery by a doctor, epidural, continual monitoring etc) She said afterards just as a natter of interest she checked the records to see how those borths had gone. In BOTH cases twin II had died. Now, she was quite a new midwife who let that slip to me, I can tell you it preyed on my mind. But being in hospital and fgollowing all their instructions is no guarantee problems won't arise. Whatever your birth situaion, whatever you choos,e you have to be INFORMED. It's your body, your baby and your birth and especially if it's likely not to be straightforward, you have to be able to discuss the options and make your decisions based on facts.

if you want to avoid payroll issues, a minder, but your child will be at their house not yours otherwise, a nannyshare I think you will be very lucky to find a carer who will do just the hours you want, at your home. And though in theory you may think "surely this would suit a retired lady" these sort of peole are few and far between and students etc are likely to be unreliable. Although both your jobs are new, I think you are going to need some flexibility. What school is your son going to?

next week no good as halfterm, but week after is also a date if you like, sb...

The info in pt 4 of thiws report is an accurate summary... http://docs.google.com/viewer?a=v&q=cache:C5SgWA6_G2YJ:www.centralbedfordshire.gov.uk/modgov/mgConvert2PDF.aspx%3FID%3D13546+single+point+of+entry+reception+uk+statutory+school+age&hl=en&gl=uk&pid=bl&srcid=ADGEESi9G877XEy0QAsLLEVw_0cpoVNZggKTXYEMgScJhZt1QtZhtfwNMMPcENzTzS3OsbnUR_vXDiSqINeLJGMJPy9rICJ9hCxNlf9p7hN8ecvfdCwfZDOy3WECSaTUybggZliBp-uG&sig=AHIEtbR5o4OpXElzKwL2QV-w8dgf_fvPNQ

ok... a few of us got together last week and it was very nice. Some people headed hom for lunch and some came over and had lunch at the Horniman

you can't slide into a different academic year. I fhink legally you don't have to start her until the 1st sept after ahead is 5 but she would be going into y1 then not reception. I will check it out

For eg at Horniman sandpit/lunch at Horniman

Craigy, you're right. This was part of the Rose review of primary education, and though not statutory I think most LAs are complying with it (single point of entry) It will be the Summer born children who previously started school in january who will be affected. NB if you don't wish your child to start before they are 5 (statutory school age is from the beginning of the term AFTEr5th birthday) you can defer and the school needs to hold the place open!

what childcare do you use at present?

Maisie, have you thought about flexible working for either you or your partner? Mabe taking it in turns to start work late? What school will your son be going to?

They are sometimes very disorganised over things like adult repeat precsiptions, but they definitely will always see you right away if you're worried about a sick child. The recdptionists are nice as well, they certainly don't see it as their role to try to put you off or scare you away!

Dulwich medical ctre is good

Sydenham Wells is on

Remember 10-5pm

I don't know if it's moving to single point of entry. I asked the office staff at Heber but they didn't know. The admissions criteria is re closest COMMUNITY school. I think the faith schools are not considered such. They will be Foundation schools. And thanks re congrats. PSA Once you have identified your closest school you can work out your distance as the crow flies and find out how children at a similar distance fared this year. (under the closest CS croteria which is the one you stand most chance with)

Never had any problems leaving any of mine, they just got on with it in my absence.

bawdy-nan Wrote: ------------------------------------------------------- > Don't forget childcare vouchers too. I'm making > the assumption that at least one of you pays the > higher rate of tax, in which case you can get a > massive subsidy by having the cost of the vouchers > taken off your pre-tax income,onlypaying tax on > the remiander. well, a subsidy of 100 pcm on the max voucher of 243

i think that would be quite difficult, you are talking about a nanny, but not for the full day. You might be able to fit into a nannyshare that would suit, but a nanny isn't self employed. Most usually people use a minder for these sort of hours, a minder is self employed (but works in their own home) A minder is about ?40-45 per day Good luck

nunheadmum Wrote: ------------------------------------------------------- > > > Having had my first by a lovely planned c-section > and my second by an awful natural delivery, of the > two, I think I would rather repeat the first. In > response to Fuschia's comments above - I had a > spinal so my daughter was delivered onto me and > immediately breastfed I did have a plan in place in my mind for if we DID need a planned CS (if Twin I turned breech) and was also prepared for the worst case (which for us could have been an emergency CS for twin II under GA as an epidural might not have been possible, as I was on bloodthinners) But a planned CS can certainly be a peaceful and happy birth... You can't overplan every scenario but it made me feel happier knowing we would do our best to make it work for us howver it turned out, and if something was medically necessary, then so be it...

One thing to remember is that they CHANGE. As the brain develops they gradually move towards adult sleep patterns (longer cycles) Just like you wouldn't be worrying about self-feeding or bedwetting in a newborn, those stages come later with other stages in between (first solids etc and then self-feeding is a stage after THAT for eg, and using the potty in the day time, wees then poos, before a child is dry at night) the same with sleep. A newborn needs your help, and their little systems just can't settle and self soothe ... later on you can start to help them with those things, when they are developmentally ready.

The actual increased risk is small, I believe, as long as the positioning is good, it's not an induction and the staff caring for you are experienced in breech births. I think if you find yourself where your baby is breech, you need to do a lotof research, and speak to those caring for you to get different opinions. Obviously a CS brings with it its own risks, mostly for the mother. All you can do is weigh up all the issues taking into account your own specific circumstances. I really felt with our twins that a planned CS would have been a bad choice for us, unless absolutely necessary... I hate hospitals so being an inpatient would have been hard, being away from DS1 would have bene hard for him, it would have been very hard to establish bf, and as DP doesn't drive, that would have been a problem in the recovery period too. I know other twin mums who have felt absolutely the opposite and chose a CS from early on. There isn't really a right or a wrong, often.... just many factors to consider. As long as any choice is informed. Unfortunately there is no guarantee things won't go wrong. I have heard of twins dying in hospital after a full managed medicalised birth, and women who needed a hysterectomy after complications from a ceasarian.

http://www.rcog.org.uk/womens-health/clinical-guidance/breech-baby-end-pregnancy