daizie
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Everything posted by daizie
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convince neighbours you keep a bird of prey by wearing a leather gauntlet, waving a piece of meat and looking up into the sky
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BUS DRIVERS. Let everyone see how pig ugly your girlfriend is by letting her stand next to whilst you are driving, as if she owns the bus
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fit toned rich well-hung handsome men
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just make sure you take some food :))
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Convince neighbours you have a day job by leaving the house at 8am and returning at 6pm mon to fri.
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Don't waste money on expensive flip-flops. Leave athletes foot untreated for a protective layer of hardened skin
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Watch out for Suggs walking up your drive. It's the first sign of Madness
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CYCLISTS: Add credibility to your claim that you have the right to use the road by obeying traffic lights and one way systems
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Jehovah's Witnesses. Bring some pegs and tea towels with you next time. Give the customer some choice
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We dont expect to be treated as 'equals' on a date , we expect to be treated like 'ladies'. *Belch*
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MURDERERS: Need to dispose of a body? Simply parcel it up and post it to yourself via DHL. You will never see it again
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one of my aunts ( through marriage) half sister is married to ronnie corbet but its all a bit hush hush as my aunts mother was a prostitute allegedly.
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Gerontophiles recreate the sensation of hving sex with a pensioner by purchasing a blowup doll but only 1/2 inflating it
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GHOSTS can also be used as bedsheets
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HAHAHAHA Waynetta :))
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RECREATE the smell of farts by opening a pack of Iceland's diced chicken
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LOL
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SMARTIES tubes pushed over cats' legs can make for a futuristic 'space cat'. Cover in foil for extra realism!
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Hahaha Waynetta :))
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Lol , the only thread that makes any sense
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A MALT LOAF is just the right size and colour to sculpt a convincing pair of decent-sized human turds. Don't forget to taper one end.
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Deter organ thieves from stealing your innards by swallowing several mousetraps minutes before your death.
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waynetta Wrote: ------------------------------------------------------- > There is a whole fleet of pristine second world > war tanks located in An underground bunker under > Sydenham woods. That's what a friend of mine who > is into the second world war history told me.no > idea if it's true Really? i didnt know that , has anyone located whereabouts ? fascinating. I love military history gets me very excited.
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CONVINCE your friends that you play the trombone by standing behind a screen and farting into a watering can.
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It was lovely to meet you all again but Ow iv'e got a headache today, all that vodka and other peoples food, LM ;-). I do apologise if anyone was offended by my lack of picnicing skills i.e turning up with booze no food, scoffing, belching, swearing, Cant wait for next time ;-)