daizie

LMFAO! HAL your'e making my eyes water . Better start doing my stretches .

monica Wrote: ------------------------------------------------------- > Lol oh come on Mick mac everyone has had a bit of > girl on girl in their time, slightly blase about > it now, been there bought the carpet and munched > on it.>:D< Nope never had my lino licked by a woman ;-)

dec

Good Grief yes! Do you remember Rick the DJ? He always played Fatback - I Found Lovin'

HAL9000 Wrote: ------------------------------------------------------ > A couple of prospective partners for daizie have > PM'd. Get your notebook, tape measure, hardness > meter and bendy gauge and go test them out. > Remember, ?100 cash upfront. And don?t eat the > merchandise! Hold your horses HAL!! You have'nt even given me the once over yet . You really should take this on board ... LONELY HEARS ADS What they really mean ADVERTUROUS = Slut ATHLETIC = No Tits 30 SOMETHING = 41 FUN = Annoying WILD = Gets pissed easily BEUTIFUL EYES = Face like a robber's dog SEEKS KNIGHT IN SHINING ARMOUR = Ex-Husbands a F***ing nutter NEW AGE = Hairy with a smelly fanny HEADSTRONG = Argumentative ENJOYS PUBBING & CLUBBING = Alcoholic CURVY = Fat B'stard CUDDLY = Fat B'stard LIKES EATING OUT = Greedy fat B'stard LIKE NIGHTS IN = Lazy fat B'stard, its only a joke x

For starters, no woman wants a man without a clue . Being unfortunate , I attract these, all talk, little action type of men... ahem . So, to make the best of a bad job, I have told and shown previous partners 'what to do' sexually . This can have two outcomes . a) premature ejac b) still manage to miss the spot . What is a girl to do ?

Yes, bloody good for you AuraCaught! a lot of love x

Legal so is this 'saying' true . 'There is no such thing as a frigid woman, just an inadequate man ' ?

HAL9000 Wrote: ------------------------------------------------------- > I've just set up a pairing up service for single > forumites to enable them to participate in Legal's > Multiple Squirty Orgasm lectures, demonstrations, > advanced orgies and graduation love-fest. The > charge is ?100 per matched pair. Please PM me for > payment details. > > > -------------------- > Yes - I'm only kidding! HAL9000, I do hope you will only be supplying quality . I am fed up dating men with mutliple inadequacies . Do we get a butchers first before we cough up the dough ? ;-)

Nothing wrong with getting as high as a kite and off your face

Leagle, i'd come along , but i dont have a man , as soon as i find one we'll be round at yours ;-)

Dont people go there to take drugs ?

Oi!

1 up the front 1 up the back

It wont last

The Bishop on a Friday night .

annaj Wrote: ------------------------------------------------------- > Oh God..... The X-Factor auditions.... > > I know, I know, I hate myself. > > Every year I promise myself I won't and then MrJ > is out and I think I'll just have a quick look and > the next thing you know it's the end of a > disappointing day in London and Simon's already > stormed out once, because it's all just too bad, > and then the last audition of the day... it's a > cheeky, shy-looking, primary school teacher... the > judges aren't expecting much...but what's this? > He's brilliant! Simon gives him a standing > ovation and tells him it's the best first audition > he's EVER heard... And I'm crying.... > He was a bit too cocky for my liking .

Just read the posts . I missed all the fun . She sounds very special .

sex

Fartz

Iv'e never liked Dulwich Park, not quite sure what it is . I'll leave it for you to enjoy . I much prefer Peckham Rye Common, a mix of people there and not so contrived .

As long as you can forget all about that woman with the dreadful voice , Linda Barking .

Ok, Love God .

a woman is asking to meet you in the woods , it could be very dodgy , be careful

Bloody hilarious . Now that is a real conversation ! :))