Mellors

Makes it somewhat hard to sympathise with the "your child must not have a day off school during term time, ever, ever, even if its wholly appropriate and with notice because its bad for their education" line we get eh?

I now have one child in and one child out. Cue hysterical sobbing from child who has to go to school when his sister gets a day off *sigh*.

Also grumpy - not finding out until tonight whether or not mine are in next week. Not sufficient time for planning emergency childcare/sorting out work. Teachers: if you want parents to be on your side re striking at least give them enough time to prepare and not make them angry about it from the start!

Heh. Bollocks to that Miffy. "If we could have a baby now how lovely it would be, said Mrs Bunny, I could get a nanny, a cleaner, Ocado to deliver gin and go back to work straight away to avoid all you little buggers!".

Tedious Vauxhall Zafira for us. Maxi Cosi x 2 isofix, plus oldest in a slim booster (Tesco's is the slimmest I found) in the middle. Its 7 seater igf you do have other kids in as well (although 5 kids in the back of the car is completely madness inducing!).

I was in a city law firm but swapped after child No 2 (I now have 3 children - 7, 5 and 2). I went in-house as GC (self employed as a consultant) - I work 4 days a week, with much more civilised hours than private practise. As a consultant I am much more flexible on leave (I take most school holidays off) and e.g. making appointments. I treasure my Mondays with the littlest and the big ones after school, and try not to do house stuff! For childcare - I have youngest in a nursery, and an au pair who lives in who does drop offs and pick ups (and lots of other things as well!). I managed in the past with after school clubs, longer nursery days etc, but felt stressed at having to get back to do pick ups all the time and as we luckily have enough space in the house swapped to this route instead. Generally I think I do pretty well on the work/life balance whilst still remaining in a career I love. Thats not to say I'm not constantly knackered, but I think you get that just from being a parent of threee small kids anyway - work is a respite ;)

I use this fab menu planning service - new recipes each week for Mon - Fri dinners to serve 4 (or in my case 3 adults and 3 children bulked out a bit). All easy, nutritious and good value. They also do a shopping list you can import straight into online shopping and they take advantage of any special offers so it saves you money. http://menus4mums.co.uk/

I do all my new leases at work at a ground rent of ?250 a year, 125 year leases, but ?350 isn't unusual. Contributing to maintainance is normal, but do check re sinking funds/proposed works/get past years accounts etc.

Gina - Dulwich College pool (which is open to the public) is also un-chlorinated. Makes an enormous difference to my son's eczema.

Our school is doing the dressing up thing on Friday. Harry/Hermione's here too. Thanks Amazon.

We took our two year old and he "luffed" it. Plus you get to lie back in a nice big comfy seat and get a bit of shut eye, so its win/win.

I agree with Yak. I also think it really helps to talk to them about what you do - where you go, who you work with etc. It makes it feel real, and they can understand why its important, and not just that you are buggering off into a black hole every day. My children understand that not only am I happy with my work, but that it benefits all of us because it pays for things for all the family. I am always rueful when I read Emily Brown and the Emergency Telephone to them though and they have to rescue the Elephant Mummy from a "dreadful big, grey, business" so they can go can have adventures together (with her mobile still ringing). That's me! None of this rationality stops me wanting to punch the faces in of my colleagues who are tired today because they went to the pub after work last night. I was up all night with a sick kid (and have been all week), my husband is away too and I have the worl'd biggest pile of "life admin" screaming at me. Meh.

I miss mine too. Its tough. You're not alone. I don't know what else to esay really other than buy in as much help as you can afford with e.g. cleaning, Ocado, childcare etc. Be ruthless in dumping unnecessary crap (ironing!) and people who make you unhappy. Try to completely switch off from work when you're not there and focus on your family. make the time you spend together quality time (which for me isn't necessarily vising millions of things etc, but just hanging out and cuddling). It will get better - lack of sleep is crucifyingly awful, and no routine makes it impossible. Admission: I sometimes get the littlest out of bed in the middle of the night when I go up to sleep just to have a cuddle because I havent seen him all day :/ *limp high five of solidarity*

My 2 year old is the youngest of three, so has no bloody excuses as he has always been a sibling. He is a complete nutjob most of the time. Broken or "dirty" bananas, driving the "wrong" way, cutting up/not cutting up fruit, not being allowed to run in the road in front of cars, having to put his coat on (in winter - bad mummy!), being forced to wear socks. All of these, and millions of other, maternal misdemeanours mean complete hysterical meltdown. Thankfully, if the others are anything to go by, he will come out of it in about a year/year and a half's time. I, however, may not. *gibbers in corner with gin*

I'm a daily cyclist. I'm also a car driver. I feel neither the need, nor the desire, to operate either on the pavement, with or without pedestrians on it. Why would you? I see no reason - either cycle safely on the road or cycle in the park if you have kids with you etc. Cyclists on the pavement drive me mad - they give us all a bad name.

We both work full time (although I do 5 in 4), and have found the following, as discussed above: - you must get Ocado if poss - order up to the night before for next day delivery in a one hour slot. I have a monthly pass for about ?5.99? They also sell birthday cards, wrap, presents and some John Lewis stuff. And you can shove a repeat shop in and just get that send if you only have 2 mins to do the order. - ditto Amazon prime - next day delivery even on a Sunday for last minute forgotten birthday presents - cleaner (I don't iron - jersey wrap dresses for me, shirts to ironer at work for him). No way I am spending my precious spare time cleaning - thats why I work, to pay somebody else to do it. - try and build in decompression time after work/before kids (I cycle work and back or try and nip in for a very quick swim). Takes my mind out of work and into relax mode. - no Blackberrying/IPadding when kids are up after work or at weekends (if you need to do it I wait until after they've gone to bed, although mostly I try not to do it at all). - make some time for yourself/couple time for you and husband. Easier said than done, but I think you go a bit mad if you life is only work/home/kids with no other fun (or maybe thats just me?!) - communicate - talk to the kids about what you do all day, and talk to your husband about his day as well as yours. - plan activities - I book fun stuff in for the weekends and put it on a massive wall calendar, otherwise we'd be too knackered to every take the kids out. I find it easier to do it if I have it in mind already. I appreciate not everyone can do this, even if workintg, but its what makes my life tolerable. Good luck, and remember nothing is permanent, so if you try it and its shit you can always change back!

Agree re doctor - my simlar aged daughter often used to get UTIs.

It is contract law. I assume you must have signed a contract with the nursery when you paid your deposit. This should have set out things like what the fees are, when they are payable, what the terms are if you decide not to take up the place (i.e. x amount of days/weeks notice in writing/verbally). You need to get a copy of this contract before you get any legal advice. If the nursery have actually issued debt proceedings against you through the court you shold have received a formal notice of claim, together with evidence on the basis of their claim (e.g. the contract). If not, ask the nursery for a copy before you do anything else. I would say you then have three options: 1. Pay nothing and issue a counterclaim/defence based on e.g. breach of terms of the contract on their part/lack of communication. Go to court and see what happens (and/or negotiate a settlement in the meantime if possible, on a without prejudice basis). If its dealt with on a small claims basis you will both pay your own costs. I don't know about the waiting times in local courts, but where I work in East London you're looking at about 9 months - a year for a date to come up for a hearing. 2. Settle (i.e. agree that they will withdraw the claim if they get to keep your deposit and/or a terms fees. 3. Pay everything to get rid to them. The main thing now though is to get hold of the terms of the contract. It all rests on what you actually agreed. I can't give you actual legal advice, but I hope that helps. Good luck!

This fab website lists all the groups in the area by day, and has info on other resources: http://se26kids.com/

I've found school nursery hopeless with work. Not so much the session times, but the fact its closed for 13 weeks of the year! I've gone down the private nursery/au pair route, and prior to that had a childminder. I don't think it matters re getting used to the school environment (our school doesn't have a nursery anyway, so nobody who starts there has been to one!) - reception year is really an extension of nursery anyway. I'd be more worried about chopping and changing, especially if its only for a year. Good luck with getting it sorted - working and having children is a pain no matter which way you do it :)

There is a foodbank in Peckham. Details here (scroll down for phone no): http://www.pecan.org.uk/our-projects/foodbank

I also asked at open days etc about the possibility of part time attendance, and our school was very supportive (in the end we took the odd Friday off at the beginning of term when she was very tired, but she hated missing out so much we didn't do it on an ongoing basis). I'd be asking schools you are interested in about their policies/support for the youngest children in the year.

I went through this a two years ago with my August 30th born daughter (2008). I always understood you could defer your reception place for a year from a legal perspective, but the issue is whether or not a place will be available at your desired school the following year? You can't hold open a place because, for example, the following year could be full of siblings. I'm not sure whether you would have to apply again the following year? I'm sure Renata could advise. As it turned out she was desperate to start big school and doesn't seem at all disadvantaged by it. She was most disparaging of the "babies" who started the year after ;)

Have you tried au pair world? Lots of Spanish au pairs available on there.

I just let the kids pick whatever they like at the same time as I get my books from the library - we all enjoy a good browse (I particularly like Dulwich library kids room). We get a much better range of books, and they surprise me with their choices (DS in Yr 2 has taken to reading kids encyclopaedias in bed?!). Some books are above their level and we read them together, and some are the right level/below and they read them alone or to me. I read all the time, so they see books as just being normal/fun rather than a chore. We talk about them together as well - what they liked about the stories, if they thought they were boring/surprising etc. Its great if they get into a series of books that they love. It also teaches them how to use a library and respect for books - they know they have to look after them and return them on time (even though there is actualy no limit on kids books). For me its all about enjoying it - there's nothing worse as a child, or a grown up, than being forced to read a boring book. If they read enough they will hopefully get to know their own tastes and improve their reading skills/vocabulary naturally without having to follow a set path. Its one of the areas where I really feel school can be too prescriptive and can hold them back (I know they have rules etc). I'm happy to go my own way with the teachers' knowledge.