Mellors

Josephine - I'm sorry to hear this and hope you are ok. It sounds like you were doing everything right, sometimes its just bad luck. I do hope you report it. I've cycled to work and back in London for years. I agree Ruskin - I don't know if its the time of year (poorer visibility), seemingly higher incidence of accidents at the moment, or that I'm just more aware of all the "near misses" but I'm particularly twitchy about it at the moment. The endless roadworks around the area don't help either - long queues of traffic, and drivers dashing about without looking/road raging/illegally maneouvering. For the first time I caught the bus this morning instead of cycling :(

Although in all fairness, I did upgrade the lunchtime booze from White Lightening to Cava (half price at Sainsbos) in honor of the non-drinking infant. Its all glamour and expense Chez Mellors.

Is ?2k the going price for lifetime > salvation cover these days? HEH. I think I might start saving up - might be worth it to get out of those 8am Sunday morning services....

We've always just popped off to church with the sprog, rellies and godparents and then home for lunch. Is there more to it than that? Who knew?!

I also totally agree with everything ladywotlunches says. Put them in your genuine order of preference and be realistic, even taking bulges into account.

Really nobody knows. The last bulge at Horniman was in 2011. As far as I recall (without googling it) the distance went out to about 1500 metres (about Friern Road/across to the nearside of Nunhead/parts of upper Sydenham) instead of the usual couple of hundred metres. Its all relative though, because that bulge in istelf has created lots more siblings who will take up some of the extra spaces in next year's bulge. It seems to vary quite a bit on sibling places from year to year in any event. Given you have six choices, I'd definitely be consdering putting down a bulging school if you think you are in with a chance (although also bear in mind that every one else will as well!).

I think a lot of it depends on the reasons for your first CS and how your pregnancy progresses this time. I had an EMCS first time round, and when no 2 was due to come only 20 months later I was pretty keen to avoid another one for recovery reasons etc. I spent a lot of time talking to my midwives and the consultants about my options, and the risks, and weighed it up (bearing in mind that medicine has moved on, and CS scars are now much less likely to rupture etc due to the changes in the way they do them). As my first EMCS was for a random reason (failure to progress - cord wrapped round neck so couldn't descend) rather than something likely to happen again (e.g. baby too big for pelvis) and this second time progressed smoothly I figured I would give it a go but with an open mind. I went on to have two wonderful VBACS with Nos 2 and 3 , one at home one in hospital, so it is possible. You need to talk it through with your medical staff though - I think if you are so worried about it you need to try and allay your fears first. Also bear in mind that even if you do decide to go for a VBAC it might not happen anyway for reasons out of your control. Thats ok too, there are no prizes for how you do it, just a happy, healthy baby and mum. Good luck :)

We considered this long and hard. We both grew up on farms in the countryside, and were terminally bored, so we were keen to stay and let the kids enjoy all the benefits of living in London, but ran out of space in ED when baby 3 came along. We thought about somewhere closeish to London (Essex, Kent) , but the commute + still high house prices anywhere nice + cost of travel + seeing less of the children didn't add up for us. We moved to Sydenham two years ago - still cycle to work, kids in same school, all ED facilies (but better travel). Twice the square footage for the same money. No brainer. I think its gone up a bit since then (we bought derelict and did up, but there are still a lot of close areas offering much, much better VFM then ED).

I was going to suggest that double sided sticky velcro at the top (you can buy it in Homebase, or probably in somewhere like one of the hardware shops on LL)

Otta Wrote: > Any self respecting man should insist on a pint > glass. And any good partner should humour him > rather than pointing out the cruel truth. A todger teacup, perhaps?

Frankly Otta, I am disgusted that you have felt fit to post this filth on what is normally such a civilized parenting forum.

I do Upper Sydenham - Horniman. I allow about 20 mins, although on a good run it takes 5! Depending on where you are you can also walk through the woods or via Cox's Walk - there are families that go to Heber etc as well that do that. Traffic down the bottom end during rush hour is helish though, I wouldn't fancy that day in and day out. I plumped for staying at the same school because the children love it, but we do local activities like Beavers etc to meet local friends too. Play dates not a problem, everyone is spread out from as far as Nunhead to ED to Sydenham anyway. I would think it depends on which is your local school and whether you can get in. If its good, and you can, it may be better to move? Feel free to PM me if you want Sydenham advice.

My two year old has also just started there three days a week, and he is a tiddler (makes up for it in loudness mind you!). I absolutely love it. My older two children also went (now 5 and 6) and they still visit and talk about how brilliant it was. I wanted the same for the youngest so much I now travel all the way from Sydenham to drop him there! The staff are great at mixing up the groups, and often take the little ones away to do things by themselves whilst the older ones do, e.g. writing. i also think all of my children have benifitted in playing with big kids in terms of their language development, social skills, potty training etc. Its the same ladies that have been there right since the beginning which I also like, there i sno staff turnover. Communication is also good via newsletters and you are welcome to pop in/phone to check on your little one at any time. Happy to talk further if you'd like x

Love the idea of using up all the good behaviour on the other days :) I think thats why I'm shouty at the weekend after I've been at work during the week. just no more niceless left to dish out :D

There's be no hope of daily homework in my house - partly because I am outnumbered by the little monsters and there aren't enough hours in the day and also because THEY ARE ONLY FOUR FFS (the latter being the most important). The best thing about school when I was little was gettng to play out after, go to the park, make dens, under the table tents or just watch Scooby Doo. Why this massive deisre for homework now - its nuts - they have the rest of their lives to be slaves to routine/work, just let them enjoy being little kids whulst they still are?* *mine will probably end up feral and without any exams, but an encyclopedic knowledge of Star Wars and minibeasts, and be castigated by the homework-driven rulers of the world.

Ours are encouraged to read with us/to us right from the start (not a massive big deal, as we read with them already, and its just encouraged rather than obligatory). No proper homework until Yr 1 though, and even thats only about 8 spellings a week (which I almost always forget about until the night before). Some schools seem to get loads at that age?!

I didn;t see last nights but saw the one lst week with triplets (aargh!!). I thought she was really nice - I liked how she got down to the kids level and talked *to* then (rather than at them). I felt for he parents, but they really did need a kick up the bum.

Definitely no TV until *everything* is done or you have no hope of shifting her. I don't negotiate over turning the telly off either, I just march over and switch it off, even mid programme or we'd be at it all day. I'm afraid we do teeth/wee after getting dressed and before breakfast during the week (with water), probably end up rotting away, the poor little buggers..... Could you swap one activity to the weekend, so she is not so tired and you get to take her (and enjoy it)? We swim Sat am, so they dont do so much after school. You and Daddy need to agree on a routine and stick to it no matter who is doing it. They love nothng better than spotting an opportunity for divisiveness, in my experience. Agree it between you, write it down, then show it to her (maybe all of you sign it - mine love a good contract, but then we are both lawyers lol) and stick a copy on the fridge/kitchen wall? I think they go through phases with name calling - mine definitely picked up some from school. I'd try to stamp it out asap - its totally unacceptable, and you don't want her doing it to teachers/friends. Explain why you are doing whatever you are doing e.g. removing her to her room/not letting her have tv but be firm and dont back down, even if she screams. You can't let the little sods win, or it'll be mayhem. Just my opinion, feel free to ignore (I am a strict mummy for my own sanity!). xxx

NB - I get up and have my shower/get dressed whilst the big ones are getting ready so I am sorted. Toddler has to wait until I'm done (I have learnt to be V quick!). I squeeze in a cup of tea in the 8 - 8.30 slot whilst they are watching tv and I'm doing a few quick chores.

How old is she? What is her schedule like Mon - Weds? How do you tackle it then? What time does she go to bed? You say she has clubs every Monday - Wednesday. Are you sure she isn't exhausted by Thursday and thats why she is kicking off? I have three little ones to get up and out by 8.30am age 6, 5 and 2. This is what I do (if it helps!) The big ones get straight into their school uniform and come downstairs via the bathroom for teeth. Not allowed downstairs until fully dressed including shoes. I do the toddler. We all go straight to he dining room and eat breakfast together (either cereal or porridge). No getting down from the table until thats done. This whole process usually takes from 7.30 - 8am, and over breakfast we talk about the day (normally so they can remind me of the things I've forgotten like forms, or PE kit). At 8am, and as long as evreyone is sorted out, I let them watch TV, although tye know its only for a little while. Whilst they watch TV I put the bags etc in the car (having sorted out everything the night before - 3 x bags, coats, shoes, PE kits, etc etc (school and nursery do lunch normally, but otherwise I do it the night before and just take it out of the fridge). I stick on a load of washing and have a general tidy up. 8.30am, no later, in the car and off to school, no fuss. I keep one eye on the clock, but other friends set timers, and discuss the reasons why the have to be kept to (e.g its better if we leave in good time so we can chat and look at things on the way to school instead of having to run and Mummy getting shouty?!) I hope you get it sorted, stressful mornings are hell. x

Hi I feel for you, its terribly confusing and stressful. I was in your position a few years ago, and lived where you do. Firstly - try not to panic, its not worth years of stress for something you can't influence much. Secondly - almost all of the schools round here are good, which is great news. Thirdly - going to a school nursery makes no difference to whether you get offered a place at the school or not. Stick with the nursery arrangements that suit you and your daughter rather than changing. Lots of children go to school without having been to the school nursery, and some school don't have nurseries at all. Fourthly - dont worry about the baptism - church schools have a percentage of non faith places anyway. I would go and see as many local schools as you can. Put down your nearest six (be realistic and don't put ones down that are miles away). See what happens and work from there. Its imposisble to know what the situation might be in two years time. Schools might have bulge classes (e.g. if Ivydale expands from 2 forms to 4 that might be an option and is only the other side of the park) or a new school could be built. Even if its not in your area, it will take pressure off local places. FWIW I got offered Goose Green, although ended up at Horniman after a bulge class. I would also have been in the catchment area for Goodrich, St Johns and St Clements and Bessemer (but not Heber). Any of which I would have been happy with. Try and relax about it xxx

Im at DMC Crystal Palace Rd form when we lived in ED. they were fab when I was preggers with all the children (ace midwives) but I am so OVER them after yesterday. Wells Park practice is dead handy, but I think if I have to deal with another stroppy doctor's receptionist I will hit the roof. Has anyone tried Paxton Green in Gypsy Hill?

Can anybody recommend a doctors in the Sydenham area? I'm on Wells Park Rd, but have heard mixed reviews of the local surgery? No special requirements, although the ability to get an appointment within a month (unlike my current surgery who have just made me blow a gasket) would be an advantage. Thanks

Swimming one on one without other children is lovely - Forst Hill Pools have an open session on Saturdays. Followed by a trip to one of the nice cafes nearby fpor a "grown up" snack (I take my book and get mine a magazine or something). Or cycling? Penge cycling club do kids classes on a saturday morning from 10 - 12, even for tiny ones. Cinema? Lots near here do kids clubs.

Not a child, but my husband only has one arm anyway (motobike accident age 16). The only things he really can't do are tie shoelaces (slip on shoes), cut up food and do some two handed sports. Other than that he manages fine - make sure clothes aren't tricky to put on (T shirts, pull on trousers etc if possible - he does coat zips etc with his teeth). He does try and use it as an excuse for doing things he doesm't fancy though :)