Brendan

I believe that is a Codpiece 500 TM - Crotch enhancement for the modern man. It is the must have stocking filler this Christmas.

CitizenEd is being pedantic

And some Christmas toffee

Peckhamgatecrasher Wrote: ------------------------------------------------------- > Just for Brendan: > > Russell Grig calculates that if a monkey types one > key at random, per second, the average time to > produce the word 'the' is 34.72 hours. To produce > the 23rd Psalm would take on average around 1017 years. Well the Psalms are attributed to David and Saul but not being familiar with their specific cases I cannot comment on how much time they had on their hands or indeed how many monkeys they had in their employment. Although I believe David left Saul a few wives as inheritance. They lived in what is predominantly citrus country anyway.

TillieTrotter Wrote: ------------------------------------------------------- > Am feeling like I've blasphemed.::o why? Unlike me you aren't normally a pottymouth.

Well if the ?powers that be? are putting pressure on them to not celebrate Christmas then what has to be established is if this is an across the board drive to make state education completely secular and if so does society agree with it. That is the big question. Personally I think it is a stupid idea but it is something that is up to society as a whole. Many people completely shun the religious side of Christmas in their personal lives so perhaps it is time for the education system to reflect that. It would be a sad development in my opinion but there you go. As for the non-competitiveness in sports and such: Well then the human race may as well just lay down in its own filth and decide to stop evolving. If this business does take off in English schools then it is a sad day indeed. 1966 I think it was. Well don?t hold your breath coz it aint happening again.

Oh and unlike acid, none of them are particularly likely to make you think that you may be a boot. ... and that being a boot is fine for now.

So let us recap here. Alcohol, Ecstasy, Cannabis and Cocaine. All of these drugs have at least one of the following effects on you. 1 ? Make you dance like an idiot. 2 ? Make you raid the fridge and eat strange combinations of food. 3 ? Make you loud, opinionated and arrogant. Only one however does all three.

Yeah I tend to agree with Sean on the ?Political Correctness Gone Mad? thing. I am not particularly for political correctness myself (I have this ridiculous idea that people can just get along regardless of their differences if they are adult about it.) but I think the term ?Political Correctness Gone Mad? has been hijack by some circles to create a siege mentality.

And that stuff never came from a dubious supply chain. It was sewn together into patchwork quilts by (very) little old ladies who lived in toadstools.

Oh the memories. ..... mostly bright orange and bent for some reason?

It?s called stupidity atila.. sorry, no, I mean liberalism?... er no wait was that secularism? Oh I don?t know anymore. :-S

Let?s be honest. Alcohol is to blame for more silly dancing and rubbish talking than all the other drugs put together.

The last time I did that I got sent to the headmaster's office!

What? As in: Here is my handle and here is my spout. Anyway One of the others puts you at risk of being struck down by a terrible affliction that makes you think that crystals are deep. The other just makes idiots think that other people care about their opinions.

Oh. I see we?ve moved on. There is a difference between ecstasy, cannabis and cocaine Asset but it is not in their moral tax. The difference is that they are all addictive in different ways. Oh and one of them makes you dance like a pillock.

Actually stuff Yoda. I said that. I would like it to be known that I am henceforth making myself available for the position of ?Philosopher in Residence?. I will require a 6 figure salary and a barrel (somewhere near the coffee machine) from which to work.

To be fair I don?t think she was trying to impose her views but was rather opening up the floor to discussion. Who was it who said something to the effect of ?Only a fool believes he is right.?? Yoda I think it was.

Yeah.

It is a paramilitary organisation hell-bent on world domination. ;-) Well not really. They do charity work and make jam and stuff.

Well to be authentic and new age about it we could always strip the holiday back to what it originally was. As we all know, the celebrations around Christmas and New Year have their roots in the midwinter celebrations that happened all over Europe in various forms since man first invented party hats. It is a way of marking that we are halfway through the hardship of winter. A bit like going to the pub on a Wednesday night. Let?s call these ?pagan? celebrations for arguments sake. Now I don?t know about you but I was raised to believe that paganism involved running around on the heath in the nuddy. Which would NOT be very appropriate. And in this weather? You?ll catch your death! That kind of thing may be fine for fundraising for the WI or Catholic Woman?s League but not for Christmas. Nativity plays are ok by me. Especially considering the alternatives.

JesusCappuccino Wrote: ------------------------------------------------------- > The fact that this came out of all those pages and > pages of awful limericks makes me believe that > thing about monkeys, typewriters and Shakespeare. They have never proved anything about Shakespeare and the monkey.

*Walks in to see:* *Lozzyloz who seems to have had a sex change and what can only be described as Liz Hurley with stubble and displaying a builder?s bum* *Very very confused* *Leaves to go consult a therapist, Or perhaps a GP about some legally prescribed heroine.*

LizzygotDizzy Wrote: ------------------------------------------------------- > But you tell that to someone of the Muslim faith and you would have your head chopped off! Of all the Muslim people I know not one of them has ever tried to chop my head off. I am a terrible infidel you know. My dentist has hurt me on a few occasions but he, by his own admission, is not very religious and my tennis partner once served and hit me on the back of the head but I?m pretty sure it was an accident.

Gggnnnrraagh! It won?t let me link directly to the article. I have done it for you my child - The Administrator