nashoi

Car keys aren't magnetic unless you have a steel key ring attached

I've just finished jury duty at the Old Bailey. Next to each court is a jury waiting room, the seats in there were fold up seats linked in rows, a bit like cheap cinema seats. Every few feet around the walls was the following sign: "Please check your seat is NOT in the UPRIGHT position when you sit down" So there have apparently been people sitting as jurors at the bailey who couldn't be trusted to sit on their own arses without injuring themselves.

Wind the window down and bend it back yourself

Someone told me they landed at JAGS by mistake.

El Pibe Wrote: ------------------------------------------------------- > Jam may be universal but really good bitter > marmalade is hard to find in the rest of the > world, damned sweet toothed johnny foreigner!! It's not just johnny foreigner with a sweet tooth, marmalade consumption amongst the young in this country is dying out fast

If it will boot into safe mode why can't you download debugging software or backup your files online?

How does your HR dept feel about medieval torture techniques? You need a noisemakers fife

SJ the following by Brand is just offensively ill informed "In my view that man is severely mentally ill and has found a convenient conduit for his insanity, in this case the Quran. In the case of another mentally ill and desperate man, Mark Chapman, it was A Catcher In The Rye. This was the nominated text for his rationalisation of the murder of John Lennon. I?ve read that book and I?ve read some of the Quran and nothing in either of them has compelled me to do violence. Perhaps this is because I lack the other necessary ingredients for extreme anti social behaviour; mental illness and isolation; either economic, social or both." The article you linked to contained the following line The forensic psychiatrist says he can't be sure what "triggered the attack" on Drummer Lee Rigby but argues that it has "almost nothing to do with mental illness". Why would anyone listen to Russell Brand ffs.

Utter cobblers. ETA I meant the OP not the previous post.

I'd be happy to fly in one. About half of all plane crashes are down to pilot error, the single biggest cause. When push comes to shove a pilot is only an organic computer, slower, less reliable and more prone to error than an inorganic one, and for all you know has just found out the copilot is having an affair with his wife.

Already been shelved, they're safe for now http://m.bbc.co.uk/news/world-europe-22644280

Gold and diamonds allow to you live forever, just go and look in SpaceNK

More expensive placebos are more effective.

Worth a visit to the South Bank this weekend http://www.timeout.com/london/festivals/real-food-festival-2013

Grawlix

"We are starting off small but have massive plans to grow as a restaurant within itself.?" The Tardis

Bought because of bribery, hardly unusual unfortunately.

Lillywhites then.

Decathlon

Gourmand syndrome. A condition which affects people with damage to the right frontal lobe. They develop a post injury obsession with gourmet food. Other symptoms include include inappropriate special behaviour. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Gourmand_syndrome Just thought I'd mention it.

Probably a bit late to help this year but this woman was on BBC breakfast this morning http://agirlcalledjack.com/ A single mother with a two year old who budgets ?10 a week for food for her and her son.

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/foodanddrink/foodanddrinknews/9731808/Is-this-the-end-of-the-rare-burger.html Not only rare, but nearly ?14. I might have to switch to jellied eels

I don't see why celebrating the capture of someone who was trying to kill you, should signify a malaise of any kind. In the meantime only one of the following stories is made up http://www.theonion.com/articles/study-majority-of-americans-not-informed-enough-to,32124/ http://www.independent.co.uk/news/world/americas/boston-marathon-bombings-czech-republics-ambassador-concerned-by-americans-confusing-his-country-with-chechnya-8581341.html

Private Eye used to have a contacts page, years ago one true romantic posted: "Have penis, will travel" Four words I'm sure every girl longs to hear.

Accidental shootings? According to Richard Tremblay, who has spent decades researching this, "Babies do not kill each other, because we do not give them knives and guns. The question we've been trying to answer for the past 30 years is how do children learn to aggress, but that's the wrong question. The right question is how do they learn not to aggress." As for the second link, the distribution of violent crime by state http://www.fbi.gov/about-us/cjis/ucr/crime-in-the-u.s/2011/crime-in-the-u.s.-2011/offenses-known-to-law-enforcement/standard-links/region shows that the south is more violent than the north. Why? Well that would be the irish influence, the civilizing process started in England and swept across Europe, lagging behind somewhat in Ireland (and Spain). In short, if I was one half of a spanish/irish couple about to move to a remote corner of Ireland with a couple of miniature psychopaths in tow, I would make sure those floorboards are good and creaky and would avoid starting any feuds with the locals anytime soon.