There's Nothing Worse Than...

[HonaloochieB]

It's a phrase we possibly use a great deal, and usually there is something a great deal worse that we could experience.

Not the tragic things, hurricanes, explosions and suchlike but just much direr things than that which we're describing.

So let's give each other a hand here on the EDF and help each other out with 'MAD' magazine style comebacks for anyone who informs us that 'There's nothing worse than...'

So the next time a colleague tells you 'There's nothing worse than just missing a bus and having to wait 10 minutes for the next one'

Inform him or her brightly that, actually, being mugged for your contraceptive sheath midway through sexual intercourse is considerably worse.

And see how they like it.

Come on, let's get a good compendium of counter phrases to twit those that would dog our conversational footsteps with cliche.

I mean, there's nothing worse, is there?

[giggirl]

Hoochie. There's nothing worse than being knocked out of the cup by Germany. Find me a cliche that will make me feel better. Please.

[felt-tip]

getting knocked out of the cup and conceding 5 goals would have been worse.

[kpc]

Getting knocked out of the World Cup by Germany and finding out that it's bratwurst and sauerkraut for tea (followed by Battenberg cake).

[computedshorty]

There is nothing worse than my zimmer falling in dog crap and it sticking to the handles.

Oh yes there is! You could have been lying on the grass in the park and the dog did it on your head.

[daizie]

shorty - at least it would be fresh,

[northlondoner]

Christ

[katie1997]

...picking up a cup of coffee* and finding out - TO YOUR HORROR - that its tea. splgllllllllllllughh is all I can say.

It can be traumatic as your senses are completely unprepared for it.

Come to think of it, this could easily meet the criteria for the irrational rage thread. Especially if some wanker has added sugar and loads of milk.

*you have to really detest tea for this to work. Or if you detest coffee/hot chocolate delete as appropriate etc

[katie1997]

...having a videoconference with an overseas team and assuming that because you cannot see or hear them, that they too have this problem. Only to discover that whilst they couldn't see you, they could hear. Perfectly. Clearly.

[charliecharlie]

there's nothing worse that not realising your boss is in the room (cos he's behind the book case) when you announce to your colleagues that he is (and I quote)... like one of those little dogs that try to fcuk your leg

tell me how to get out of that one gracefully!!!

[computedshorty]

There is nothing worse than:

Waiting over night outside that Westend store in the cold to grab that fur coat reduced from ?700 offered in sale for ?40, and that pleasant woman next to you, who you had been speaking to all night now the bitch fighting you for it nearly ripping off an arm, you win and go to the cash point only to find you no longer have your purse, and have to leave without it and walk home.

Oh Yes there is!

Phoned up the Credit card people to stop payment on that card, "thank you Mrs Green, you are lucky only ?40 has been taken out at Debenhams Store".

[HonaloochieB]

Today at work, with only one of three lifts working, someone in the queue piped up, that there's 'Nothing worse than this, first thing in the morning'.

I pointed out that indeed there was something worse, and that would be if there were no lifts working.

His response was quick 'If there was none working we could all push off to a coffee shop until the management got the Otis people in'

This got quite the laugh.

There's nothing worse than being bested in lift small talk by a temp.

[HonaloochieB]

charliecharlie Wrote:

-------------------------------------------------------

> there's nothing worse that not realising your boss

> is in the room (cos he's behind the book case)

> when you announce to your colleagues that he is

> (and I quote)... like one of those little dogs

> that try to fcuk your leg

>

> tell me how to get out of that one gracefully!!!

I suppose, Charlies you tried "And those little dogs are welcome to either of my legs, any ol' day. Right? Left? Whichever, the pleasure is mine"

Though reviewing it, it seems less than convincing.

I think in future it might be best just to murder the bastard by rushing at the bookcase and shouldering it so as to kill him.

Hope you can convince the witnesses not to 'rat' you out.

And further hope that the Inspector Tom Barnaby style copper is on holiday and instead the Met send along one of his slightly slower sidekicks, who you'll be able to beguile and all that.

Ooh, Midsomer Murders, on in ten minutes. Triff.

[Andystar]

charliecharlie Wrote:

-------------------------------------------------------

> there's nothing worse that not realising your boss

> is in the room (cos he's behind the book case)

> when you announce to your colleagues that he is

> (and I quote)... like one of those little dogs

> that try to fcuk your leg

>

> tell me how to get out of that one gracefully!!!

---------------------------------------------------

At least you didn't do this

[PeckhamRose]

....the fur industry.

.... the whale industry.

etc etc

.... not being able to work out why my darling ten year old cat has decided to start peeing on the carpet.

No, she's not ill, we had her checked out at Vets. She's not stressed, what can it be.

.....not being able to breathe well. Which is the case this morning. :(