The Off Side Rule in Footie

[Ladymuck]

Narnia Wrote:

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> Offside for Americans

>

> This should do the trick LM.

Well, I am not an American...but, I think I am just beginning to get the gist of it (a bit). Thank you Narnia.

I think one of the reasons I am having such problems with all these explanations is that I understood (quite incorrectly it seems) that, when players spoke of "their goal", they were referring to the goal in which they need to shoot/score, when in fact "their goal" refers to the goal where their goalie hangs out (i.e. that place where their opponents are attempting to shoot/score). Have I got that bit right at least?

[Ladymuck]

HAL9000 Wrote:

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> LM, just make sure there are always two opponents

> between you and their end of the pitch.

>

> Does that make sense?

hmmmmmmm - no...sorry:-$

Oh dear, maybe HB is right and I shouldn't worry my pea brain about such a thing. This would be fine if I didn't now play. And to think that for years I have been quite content watching footie in complete ignorance...such bliss...but now...

*sinks into mild depression*

[kpc]

It's nothing to worry about. Many footballers have had successful careers at the highest level being blissfully aware of the offside law.

[Ladymuck]

Narnia Wrote:

> Have you thought of being a goalie?

Funny you should say that...I hope that isn't my fate...

...though I did save 2 goals today (and exacerbated an existing groin/hip injury in the process:-S)

Perhaps I ought to take up crochet instead.

[Ladymuck]

PeckhamRose Wrote:

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> Did you play today, LadyMuck?

I did PR...it was a great game...though I am currently limping around with a packet of frozen peas inside my jeans::o.

>People learn better

> through actions than words. And DJKQ knows it.

Well, I am ashamed to say that I was offside at least 3 times today and I just couldn't see why. (But I did save 2 goals!! hee hee)

DJKQ is a fantastic coach/mentor bye the way - as well as a brilliant player...BIG respect to her. (Thanks DJKQ).

[Ladymuck]

HonaloochieB Wrote:

------------------------------------------------------

> *looks aghast at the Muckatollah's seemingly

> irrational outburst, but resists the urge to opine

> 'Chicks, eh'? Wanders away deep in puzzlement at

> LM's vexation at what he thought was a helpful and

> supportive post.

> Walks away limping, but resolves not to attend to

> his groin area until in the privacy of his own

> spare room where the self-massage necessary will

> not excite comment*

*hesitates*

erm...

*shifts about uncomfortably whilst avoiding all eye contact with HB*

I'm...erm...sorry HB...but your post was a bit patronising and condescending. And as for defaming my beloved George Best (RIP Georgie), what were you thinking (*minor sniff*). But I cannot remain cross with you for long.

Hug?

*passes HB pack of frozen sweetcorn*

[Ladymuck]

kpc Wrote:

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> It's nothing to worry about. Many footballers have

> had successful careers at the highest level being

> blissfully aware of the offside law.

*bursts out laughing*

[HonaloochieB]

Ladymuck Wrote:

-------------------------------------------------------

> HonaloochieB Wrote:

> --------------------------------------------------

> ----

> > *looks aghast at the Muckatollah's seemingly

> > irrational outburst, but resists the urge to

> opine

> > 'Chicks, eh'? Wanders away deep in puzzlement

> at

> > LM's vexation at what he thought was a helpful

> and

> > supportive post.

>

> > Walks away limping, but resolves not to attend

> to

> > his groin area until in the privacy of his own

> > spare room where the self-massage necessary

> will

> > not excite comment*

>

>

> *hesitates*

>

> erm...

>

> *shifts about uncomfortably whilst avoiding all

> eye contact with HB*

>

> I'm...erm...sorry HB...but your post was a bit

> patronising and condescending. And as for

> defaming my beloved George Best (RIP Georgie),

> what were you thinking (*minor sniff*). But I

> cannot remain cross with you for long.

>

> Hug?

>

> *passes HB pack of frozen sweetcorn*

Hug accepted, naturally.

Sweetcorn also accepted, and applied in a way the CO-OP never thought it might be when they first sourced it in a fair trade fashion.

[????]

It's Football.

"Footie" is a middle class, prawn munching construction

[Mick Mac]

I'm convinced most linesen don't understand it.... Especially in Old Firm matches.

[Ladymuck]

???? Wrote:

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> It's Football.

>

> "Footie" is a middle class, prawn munching

> construction

*yawns and flings left-over prawn tails/shells at Quids*

Besides, his Lordship HB has spoken...rather...has granted a special Dispensation.

[Ladymuck]

Mick Mac Wrote:

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> I'm convinced most linesen don't understand it....

> Especially in Old Firm matches.

Seriously Mick Mac? That makes me feel a teensy weensy bit less stupid.

But when playing, you don't really want to be subjecting your team players to constant penalties...I mean...it's so embarrassing...

But I think I am beginning to understand it now (thanks everyone)...although it seems a silly rule to me. Surely your opponent's failure to position players appropriately so as to prevent a goal from your team shouldn't result in your team then being penalised? Oh good grief...am I getting confused again?

[DJKillaQueen]

LOL footie is a common term used by people in my home town of Liverpool by ALL classes.............defined as 'slang'.

Anyone further patronising or confusing Ladymuck will be pressed ganged into joining our soon to be formed cheerleading wing.

http://photos4.meetupstatic.com/photos/event/b/4/5/a/600_16186170.jpeg

[????]

oooh gawd, not another professional scouser...You are Jimmy Tarbuck and I claim my ?10 (sound as a pound etc etc)

[DJKillaQueen]

LOL....I lost my scouse accent years ago.....they all just think I'm another one of them 'suveners' now.....there really is no hope for me! :))

[Ladymuck]

OK, just had to check this out.

First things first:

footie

Definition from Wiktionary, the free dictionary

Singular

footie

Alternative spelling of footy.

Then:

Football - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

Association football, also known as football, soccer, footy and footie .....

So there we have it: footie, footy, football, soccer - all the same.

[DJKillaQueen]

Unless you are American in which case football is actually rugby with lots of padding and plenty of breaks.

And of course 'cheerleaders'.

[Ladymuck]

Interestingly this website cites "FOOTY" as modern slang for football. So DJKQ is quite correct.

Ahem...DJKQ...lost your scouse accent did you say? I'm sure I heard you say the word "bath" without the incorporation of the letter "r" earlier on:)).

Speaking of which, I'm orff to have a barth!

[DJKillaQueen]

Funnily enough, the odd northern vowel sound only seems to come out when I am teaching you ladies how to kick a ball! Now why on earth could that be? lol

[Ladymuck]

Yeah right...what about this then...where you omitted the "r" in "classes"...hee hee

Re: The Off Side Rule in Footie

Posted by: DJKillaQueen Yesterday, 10:50PM

LOL footie is a common term used by people in my home town of Liverpool by ALL classes.............defined as 'slang'.

You say classes...

I say clarsses...

You say bath...

I say barth...

*limps away as fast as possible*

[DJKillaQueen]

ooooh you're avin a larrrf.....you don't want me to give the impression that scousers can't spell proper as well do you...init!

[Ladymuck]

INNIT!

[Narnia]

kpc Wrote:

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> It's nothing to worry about. Many footballers have

> had successful careers at the highest level being

> blissfully unaware of the offside law.

I think the above is what you meant to write kpc.

[Narnia]

I didn't mean to imply you are American LM. It's just that Americans are, well, you know.........

[Ladymuck]

Narnia Wrote:

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> >

> I didn't mean to imply you are American LM.

> It's

> just that Americans are, well, you know.........

Don't worry Narnia - I think I know what you meant.

Having re-visited all of the comments/links on this thread whilst most people were asleep, I now recognise that, yes, the offside rule is complicated and that perhaps HB's earlier post was well-intentioned and not as patronising as I first took it to be (in fact I see that now - so, apologies again HB - I think my inability to understand coupled with the ensuing frustration that this promoted within me contributed to my outburst).

Anyway Narnia, having "worked" on understanding this rule through part of the night, your "American" link has actually proved to be enormously helpful (that combined with the computer's most succinct explanation: "...just make sure there are always two opponents between you and their end of the pitch" - ever thought of entering the teaching profession HAL9000?). As a consequence of this thread, the rule is finally becoming clearer. As for the reason for the rule, well that remains a mystery to me! However, one thing at a time:)).

How much my pea brain has assimilated will manifest itself when, hopefully, I play again in a couple of weeks' time.

Thanks all.